Author: Eva Diaz

Best Lines provided by Eva

Billy: Brought the perfect goodies — classic snacks for a classic comedy, guaranteed to make you laugh.

Chelsea: Does it look like i need cheering up?

Billy: Well, I mean, everybody could use a — use a laugh, right? I mean, I could use one right about now. I mean, we could go superhero. We could watch some costumed people blow a bunch of things up. Or we could go sci-fi. I mean, with me, older, the better. “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” right there for me. So many choices, so little time. What do you say? Your pick.

Chelsea: Um, uh, it doesn’t matter. Whatever you think.

Billy: Yeah, maybe I, uh — maybe I should have called first, huh? Are you upset that I showed up unannounced?

Chelsea: No. No, no. I’m really — I’m happy you’re here. I am.

Billy: I’m not buying that. Feels like there’s something else going on. I mean, I mentioned “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians,” and i didn’t get nothing out of you. Straight crickets. So, what is it? What’s going on?

***************************†****

Nick: I mean…

[Exhales heavily] I-I don’t know what else to say. Believe me, under this calm exterior, there’s raging jealousy. I think it’s gonna take more time than you think to, uh, get past this. I think the big question is, what does it mean for us? I don’t mean to put you on the spot.

Sally: No, you’re not at all. And I can answer that right now. I want us to date. You know, with my new sense of freedom, I’m ready to get to know you more fully now that i don’t have to worry what Adam thinks every time he sees us out there together. That’s where I stand. The rest is up to you.

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Phyllis: Hey, guys.

Summer: Hey, mom.

Phyllis: Oh, my goodness. So, it’s time to clock out, isn’t it? How about we go out to dinner?

Kyle: Yeah, we were just going to grab some quick on the way home.

Phyllis: Oh, all right. Well, why don’t we grab something quick together? We don’t spend a lot of time together. Want to spend some quality time with your mother-in-law? I mean, nothing is more important than family, right?

****************************

Nick: Yeah, well, he is who he is, right? How about you? Are you, uh, having a nice, quiet dinner over there tonight?

Summer: Uh, yeah. Sure, let’s — let’s go with that. Do you want to join me?

Nick: Ooh, I really don’t. No.

Summer: Come on.

Nick: Summer, I love you more than anything in this world. But honestly, that looks like it’s going to be filled with more family drama, and I’ve had my fill for today.

Summer: I could really use a buffer, and I’m pretty sure that falls under the list of fatherly duties.

Nick: Oh, come on. Are you pulling the dad card?

Summer: It’s what daughters do.

Nick: I’m such a sucker when it comes to you. Okay, fine, let’s go.

Summer: Come on.

Nick: All right, the party is here.

Phyllis: Yes, it is.

Nick: What are we talking about?

Phyllis: Um, Marchetti.

Nick: Yeah. How is Marchetti? Are mother and daughter at each other’s throats yet?

Kyle: Quite the opposite.

Nick: Don’t know if I believe that. You two tend to have creative differences.

Phyllis: Well, look at you coming in hot. Okay, that’s a really unfair characterization of me and my daughter.

Nick: I’m not saying it’s your whole relationship. Just when you’re working together, because you’re both very strong-willed, fiery women.

Phyllis: Yes, we are both strong women who get things done.

Summer: That’s right.

Phyllis: Right?

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Tucker: All right, what’ll you have?

Ashley: I would love a hot chocolate.

Tucker: You sure you don’t want some fancy coffee drink with foam and extra shots and scalded this and that?

Ashley: Tucker, I’m a very simple girl. Okay. [Chuckles] Don’t buy it, huh? How about some cinnamon on top?

Tucker: Of what? Oh, the hot chocolate?

Ashley: Yes.

Tucker: Okay. Uh, hi, sir. Uh, two hot chocolates. With cinnamon. Keep the change.

Ashley: Thank you.

Tucker: Thank you. Thanks for hanging out. It was a lovely day.

Ashley: Yeah. Brr. I’m still kind of shocked, though, that a man like you who loves his creature comforts actually wanted to surprise me with a picnic in the wintertime, no less.

Tucker: Yeah, I loved the look on your face when we got there.

Ashley: Well, it was magical.

Tucker: Oh, glad I can still dazzle you once in a while.

Ashley: Yeah. I mean, as far as picnics go, I will always remember it. A lovely and sweet moment in nature capped off by an offer to fund my very own empire. Please, would you stop being so coy and just tell me what you’re after? Because I’m dying to know.

********************†********

Tucker: Just wanted to spend some time with you alone in a beautiful setting, and I would gladly help you build your own business separate from Jabot. Kind of the way you did when you decamped to Paris years ago.

Ashley: Mm. You heard about that?

Tucker: Mm-hmm. I was impressed by it. And with no one to stop you, you were really on the verge of great things. I was disappointed when you closed up shop and merged with Jabot.

Ashley: That’s why you came, right? That’s why you’re here? You don’t really want Jabot, but you just want to convince me to leave Jabot? Or is it maybe a misguided attempt to protect me before you decide to pounce on my family’s business?

Tucker: Boy, you know what’d be nice? If, for once, you just took me at my word. But… I guess I knew that earning your trust was going to take time and patience

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Adam: How, uh — how did your lunch go with Nick?

Sally: It was terrific. Thank you for asking. We grabbed a bite, Nick went back to the office, and I stayed here, where it’s quiet, to work on my new business concept.

Adam: So, everything’s good then?

Sally: What is with all the questions? Yes, I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m making exploratory calls. I’m percolating ideas. I’m — I’m — I’m setting my life on a fresh trajectory, you know? Or trying to, anyway.

[Sighs] Oh, my god. Who am I kidding? No. No. No. I’m not fine, okay? I’m the opposite of fine.

Adam: I’m not sure what brought on that little outburst, but I’m sure that I deserve it, whatever the cause.

Sally: “Whatever the cause”? You, Adam. You are the cause. I mean, after that ridiculous profession of love? Do you recognize how embarrassed I was? After all of the rotten things that you’ve done, that was the capper. I mean, as if you haven’t tortured me enough.

Adam: Torture, Sally? Come on. That’s a bit strong.

Sally: Mm. On the contrary. I think it’s actually not strong enough. First getting me to fall for you, then pushing me away, and then lying to me about all of it, and now this?

****************************

Diane: [Sighs] I have told Jack and Kyle everything about my relationship with Jeremy. They know exactly what kind of man he is, and yet they have promised to protect me if it comes to that.

Tucker: Then they’re both fools.

Diane: Oh, really? So, what does that make you, hiding behind Ashley and the ladies?

Tucker: Is that what you think I’m doing?

Diane: Uh-huh. You fed them information about my past mistakes. You painted me in the worst possible light. And now you’re letting them do your dirty work, threatening to sic Jeremy on me, hoping to chase me out of town, all because I didn’t give you what you wanted. I couldn’t give it to you. Tucker, I never had access to any of the financial information about Jabot that you were after.

Tucker: You are a very resourceful woman. You could have found a way if you really wanted to.

Diane: You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Tucker: Ah. I know this much — you lied to me. And you told me what you thought I wanted to hear, but you never really had any intention of fulfilling your end of the deal, did you? So [Clicks tongue] Consequences.

Diane: [Chuckles] You are like a really rich toddler throwing a tantrum. But I’m not giving in.

Tucker: Yeah, so you keep insisting.

Diane: I am stronger than you think. And besides that, I finally have what I wanted for so long. My son is in my life. Not to mention I have a place in my grandson’s life. So don’t get your hopes up — or Ashley’s — because I’m not going to run.

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Phyllis: I mean, what is this? What has happened to us? My own daughter doesn’t believe me. For the last time, this is not my responsibility. This is what Diane did. I didn’t do it. Nikki didn’t do it. Ashley didn’t do it. No one did it but Diane.

Summer: Diane wouldn’t even be on Stark’s radar right now if it wasn’t for you.

Phyllis: And Stark wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Diane. And what she did in Los Angeles when she was lying to everybody, pretending she was dead — come on. This is her responsibility. She takes no accountability. And now she’s paying the price.

Summer: Yes, but everyone has a past, present company included. So, by your logic, does nobody deserve a second chance? Where would that leave either of us, hmm?

Phyllis: Okay. Where is this coming from? This is not how you feel about me, Summer. You’re just taking Jack’s lead, when he was rattling off my past history and using it against me.

Summer: Actually, I have defended you to Jack so many times, earlier today included, but you make that really difficult.

Phyllis: You could say what you want, go ahead and claim what you want, but you haven’t trusted Diane from the minute she arrived in town.

********************************

Nikki: When Sally was still in Los Angeles, she told everybody she was dying so she could manipulate them, just like Ashland.

Nick: We have all done things in our life we are not proud of. But I know Sally is not the same person she was in L.A. She’s worked very hard to make some changes in her life. And unlike Ashland, Sally has learned from her mistakes, and she’s determined to do things the right way.

Nikki: She tried to ruin Summer’s life. Summer and Kyle almost didn’t find their way back to each other because of what Sally did.

Nick: But they did. And that trip to Milan turned out to be one of the best things to ever happen to Summer’s life. Now, as Summer’s father, obviously I don’t condone what Sally did to her. But I can see both sides, and I’ve made peace with it.

Nikki: I am so disappointed to hear you say that.

Nick: Well, mom, I’m sorry you and dad don’t agree with this, but whoever I choose to spend my time with is nobody’s business but my own.

Nikki: And I understand that. But aren’t you the least bit concerned about this might affect your relationship with Summer?

Nick: No, because Summer loves me and eventually she’s gonna see that I’m happy and that’s gonna be the only thing that matters to her.

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Traci: Lily. Lily?

Lily: Oh, my god. Traci. Sorry. Hi. I didn’t hear you.

Traci: Hi.

[Chuckles] That’s okay. Everybody’s minds are a million miles away this time of year, you know, going over our shopping lists and trying to figure out who’s naughty and who’s nice. I mean, I always think everyone’s nice, and then I look at my list and think about it. I am surrounded by some extremely naughty people.

[Both laugh]

Lily: I know. I think I have a lot of the same people on my list.

Traci: I think you do. I hope I’m not intruding

**********************************

Billy: [Sighs] And here I thought this was my little secret.

Daniel: What do you mean?

Billy: Well, ever since this place opened, around this time of the day, it’s usually a ghost town. So, I come here to…you know, get a little space.

Daniel: You know, most people would go to libraries for that kind of quiet.

Billy: They don’t serve scotch at the library.

Daniel: Very true. Beverages were an incentive for me, too.

Billy: Which explains why we’re both here at the same time.

Daniel: I suppose so.

Billy: Lucky us.

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Daniel: Nothing. I was just thinking that Billy must have really gotten his act together for you to be this involved with him.

Lily: I mean, he can be the most exciting man in the room, you know? He’s — he’s thoughtful. He’s charming. He’s everything you could want in a partner.

Daniel: Until he isn’t. He’s impulsive. He makes choices that lead to disastrous outcomes.

[Chuckles] Oh, come on. What? Look, I’m not the one who’s in love with the guy. I can say whatever I want about him.

Lily: Yeah, clearly.

Daniel: Okay. Here’s the question. Is he falling into old patterns? You know, even though he’s trying to do the right thing and be this stand-up guy.

Lily: That’s exactly what it is. I feel like this is just a symptom.

****************************

Sharon: Hey, Connor. How was school today?

Connor: Incredibly school-like. And after a long day in class, there’s one thing I want more than anything.

Sharon: One hot chocolate coming right up.

Connor: Thanks.

Sharon: After I hear one thing that you learned in school today that you thought was interesting.

Connor: Let’s see. Oh, some lichens grow just one millimeter in an entire year.

Sharon: Wow. Well, if that’s the best they can do, yay for the lichens.

Connor: And scientists have found them in the coldest places on earth.

Johnny: And they’re a life-form that’s a symbiotic relationship between a fungus and an algae.

Connor: Hey, Johnny.

Johnny: ‘Sup, Con. It’s freezing out there.

Connor: Want to go see if we can find any lichens?

Johnny: As long as I can get in on some of that hot chocolate action.

Sharon: You’re in. One hot chocolate coming up for you. Oh, Michelle, could you please grab two hot chocolates, please?

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Sharon: Morning.

Adam: Mm. It is morning. Not sure what qualifies as “good” yet.

Sharon: Well, you’re not gonna find out with that attitude.

Adam: [Chuckles] I need some of your sunshine and rainbows to rub off on me.

**********************************

Billy: I’m, uh, glad I ran into you.

Lily: Really?

Billy: Yeah. You left so early this morning, I didn’t get a chance to tell you what I wanted to tell you at home.

Lily: Which is what?

Billy: “Good morning, beautiful.”

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Chelsea: Hey. What’s wrong?

Connor: Nothing. I’m fine.

Chelsea: Connor, stop, please. Come here. I can see something’s troubling you. I’d like you to tell me what it is.

Connor: It doesn’t matter.

Chelsea: Hey, we said no more secrets. You can tell me anything.

Connor: I got into a fight at school.

Chelsea: What? Why would you do that?

Connor: I had to, mom.

Chelsea: Connor, we have discussed this. Violence does not solve anything.

Connor: But I couldn’t let anyone get away with calling you crazy.

*****”””””””””””””*****†***”””*

Chelsea: Alright. Tell me what happened. How did this other kid know about me?

Connor: Johnny and I were talking about all the stuff that’s been going on. It was private, away from everyone else. This guy somehow overheard us. He’s a jerk, a bully. And he jumped in and started saying all this mean stuff about you. I had to make him stop.

Chelsea: Well, I’m sure that was very upsetting to hear. These things have a way of just getting out, and people handle things differently. You know, some people are kind and understanding. Some others…

Connor: Are just mean.

Chelsea: Yeah. I’m not going to justify what this little boy said because, who knows, maybe he’s got problems at home. Maybe he’s just a jerk. One thing I do know for certain. He was just trying to make you feel bad. He was just trying to force you, push you to defend your mom. But you never have to do that, not for one second.

Connor: So, you want me to let them say terrible things about you?

Chelsea: Connor, there’s something I need you to understand. I’m not ashamed about what I’m going through. I can’t be because being ashamed is what stopped me from getting help sooner. And that made things a lot worse for me.

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Sally: Hi. I’m not sure why you came over here, but I really do not want a replay of our last encounter.

Adam: Oh, it’s not going to happen. I promise. This time I’m completely sober.

Sally: Well, that’s good to know.

Adam: Did you have a good Thanksgiving? Or was it 4th of July that you celebrated? I know you don’t like to celebrate holidays on their actual day.

Sally: Actually, that was our tradition. So, I celebrated in my own traditional way with takeout and an old movie. What about you? Did you break bread with victor at the ranch, or were you nursing your hangover?

Adam: Ouch. I guess I deserve that. I actually had a quiet meal with Chelsea and Connor.

*************************************

Sally: Why are you doing this?

Adam: Because I love you. And you love me, too, Sally. You are the only woman that I have ever met who truly understands me and accepts me for who I am.

Sally: Can you just stop saying that, okay? Because whatever I thought I understood about you turned out to be wrong. I did not fully know you back then. Everyone who has warned me about you was right. Everything they said came true. You’re obsessed with proving yourself to your father, you resent your siblings, and you play games.

Adam: Okay. Maybe that is true. But none of that has anything to do with us.

Sally: It has everything to do with us. You broke my heart. And you’re continuing to break my heart with this Hail Mary proposal. You really think that I want to go into a marriage this way?

Adam: Okay. I screwed up. I should have given you the grand romantic gesture that you deserve, Sally. But I don’t regret asking you because you and I…we have a love of a lifetime. And in your heart, I don’t think you regret me asking you. And don’t tell me you’ve never thought getting married.

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Chloe: Okay, I’m waiting for the punch line. You haven’t told me what you want to do, you have absolutely no funding, and you want me to be your ride-or-die on this insane adventure.

Sally: Yeah. We’re good together.

Chloe: Yeah, I love working with you, too.

Sally: Okay. So…you on board?

Chloe: I can’t believe I’m gonna say this… but yes. Before we move forward, I just want to know one thing. How did Nick take the rejection?

Sally: He understands.

Chloe: Of course, he did. The amazing Nick Newman understands everything.

Sally: [Scoffs]

Chloe: Look, I’m joking, but

[Sighs] Aren’t you glad you chose the brother who’s capable of honest human emotion?

Sally: Okay, Adam has emotions. He just has a different way of showing them.

Chloe: Don’t tell me that you’re waffling.

Sally: No, I’m just saying that Adam is…human. Okay, but there’s no way that he could care more about me than he does about his own ego and his need to win.

Chloe: Great. Because I am going to need all of your attention devising an entirely new business plan from scratch.

Sally: Well, I wouldn’t say from scratch. Like I said, I… have an idea.

**”*”*****************************

Chance: Not everything can be fixed.

Victor: You’ll do nothing?

Chance: Sometimes the best way to heal, victor, is just to leave things alone.

Victor: [Exhales heavily] Do I need to remind you, Chance, that when you came back from your overseas assignment in Spain, you promised me that you would put my daughter on a pedestal, that she would be more important than anything else? Are you not a man of your word? Because one thing I promise you — as you get older, you realize that family is everything, everything worth fighting for. Don’t you forget it.

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Devon: Come on in.

Lily: I brought your pie plate back. I devoured the leftovers this morning.

Devon: You did? You ate it all?

Lily: Oh, my god. It was so good.

[Both laugh] Did you recover from your turkey stupor?

Devon: Yes, I did, thank you. I’m well-rested and ready to get to work.

****************************************

Summer: Okay. I won’t press. But I really do think that we could use your talents at Marchetti — if this other idea doesn’t pan out. God, how amazing would it be for Harrison to grow up with his big cousin Lucy?

Daniel: Right. Yeah, but, I mean, I told you that Heather and Lucy, they’re in Portugal for the foreseeable future.

Summer: Well, you are more than enough for now. I really cannot wait for you to meet Harrison. Look at us. Making mom a grandma twice?

Daniel: Oh. Yes. Doesn’t that just sound like mom? Hmm? Can you just picture her as a sweet little innocent old granny?

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