Tag: quotes

Days of Our Lives Best Lines

Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Xander: Vivian. My God, you’re out of prison.
Vivian: And you are so observant.
Xander: Well, you can take that acid tongue of yours and get the hell out of this house. What are you doing here anyway?
Vivian: Well, I think it’s rather obvious. I’m moving in.
Xander: You’re even more delusional than I thought.

(about Vivian moving in the Kiriakis mansion)
Xander: I don’t know who put this insane idea in your head, but I want to make something perfectly clear. The only way you’ll move into this house is over my dead body.
Vivian: Well, that could be arranged.

(about Vivian)
Kate: The woman is certifiably insane.
Roman: No argument there.

Philip: I know I should have asked you before I moved Vivian in here. I’m sorry about that.
Xander: Not as sorry as I am. But I suppose this house is half yours, at least according to the court. So, if you want to move this sadistic lowlife in here. It’s yours funeral.
Vivian: Gee, I feel so welcome.

Javi: Nice to meet you Sami. I’ve heard a lot about you.
Sami: Oh, I’m sure all of it is terrible.

(to Rafe and Sami)
Javi: I’m going to go to the kitchen and I’m going to stick my head in the waffle iron. I hear it’s like Botox. More painful but cheaper.

Kristen: You’re supposed to be my lawyer. Why haven’t you gotten me out of this?
Melinda: I’m your lawyer not a magician.

Maggie: That vampire spent the night in my home?
Vivian: Yes, in a very cheesy guest room.

Maggie: With all due respect Philip, this may be a very large house, but it’s not big enough for that psychopath and me.
Vivian: Well, it’s a good thing you’re already packed. There’s the door.

Philip: Mom, I have good news about Vivian.
Kate: Well, that’s impossible unless she’s pushing up daisies.

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Leo: Melinda Trask? Long time no see, which is especially unusual here in Salem where one tends to run into everyone they know at least every five minutes or so.

(to Chad)
Cat: What? You don’t trust me? That was a dumb question.

(to Julie when she said Jennifer confirmed that the necklace was Alice’s)
Melinda: Oh I see. So the investigating officer’s mommy thinks this too. This is compelling evidence.

Leo: I wanted to show you my appreciation for letting me move in here.
Gabi: Hmm, so you show it to him and not to me.
Leo: Well, gee, Gabi, what is wrong with me? Forget a dinner. I should buy you a 24-karat solid gold bathtub to thank you for how graciously you have welcomed me into your home.
Javi: Leo.
Leo: No, I’m talking like the one that Mike Tyson bought his wife as a birthday gift. Or I could go the Angelina Jolie route, buy you a waterfall complete with the surrounding land, like the one she bought Brad Pitt as a Christmas gift in 2012. I mean, Gabi, you have just gone overboard with how much you have made me feel wanted here.

(to Javi)
Leo: Can we please go back to talking about how sweet I am for setting all of this up? Obviously, I didn’t cook because I didn’t think that giving you salmonella was a very good housewarming gift.

Leo: Being on my best behavior in front of your cousin Gabriella, who, though beautiful, when she’s angry, reminds me of Margaret Hamilton.
Javi: Who:
Leo: The Wicked Witch of the West. The Wizard of Oz.

(to Kristen while she was pacing)
Melinda: I have a feeling Harold won’t be please when he finds out you wore a hole in the carpet.

EJ: Ava? You’re looking well/
Ava: Well? As opposed to be tied to antique wheelchair that she was tied to?

Sophia: Maybe Holly won’t find out that you ratted out Doug.
Tate: Of course she will. This is Salem. Everyone finds out everything.

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Days of Our Lives Best Lines

Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Brady and Tate when they were shocked that she was out of prison)
Theresa: Don’t everyone congratulate me at once.

Tate: Did you escape from prison?
Theresa: No. Do you see any broken handcuffs here?

Doug: Holly, you know this woman?
Hope: Unfortunately.
Melinda: Rude.

Ava: You think you can take me on? I used to run a mafia organization.
Rachel: Now you can sleep with the fishes because I’m the one holding the knife.

(to Kristen when she couldn’t get in touch with Ava)
EJ: If your mother has killed Ava Vitali, at least we can be absolutely certain she won’t testify against us.

(to Rafe and Jada)
EJ: If you two could take your couple’s therapy elsewhere that would be great.

(about Rachel)
Ava: She’s been traumatized? You hear that, Brady? Granny comes after me like Mike Myers, and Kristen’s making her out to be the victim.

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Days of Our Lives Best Lines

Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Chad: What’s up?
Leo: Well, I was on one of my therapy-recommended anxiety strolls and this was on my route.

(to himself)
Arnold: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m bored. I’m bored with porn. I need the real thing.

(to Marlena about the hospital being sold)
Cat: The hospital’s going to board up the building and put a for sale sign on it?

(to Chad)
Leo: I’ve always considered myself to be very versatile, something of a Renaissance man, sort of like the Talented Mr. Ripley minus the murder and sadism but keeping in Jude Law and the luscious Italian scenery.

(to Chad)
Leo: Would you call Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights a one-off?

Jada: For some reason with Rafe, I missed the flags, all of them.
Shawn: Why are you being so hard on yourself? This is not your fault. Before this happened, Rafe was a stand-up guy. Everybody thought so. I mean, the man had more green flags than a Brazilian soccer match.

(to Javi)
Gabi: I just wish my angel of a cousin wasn’t dating the devil.

(to Javi)
Leo: I’ve seen my fair share of devastated faces, beginning with my father’s when he discovered my collection of Cher cassettes. But I digress.

Kristen: You know what p*sses me off?
EJ: What doesn’t p*ss you off?

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Rafe: There’s no way Feniger’s smart enough to pull off being police commissioner.
EJ: Well, you got away with it for long enough.

Ava: I hate to interrupt this little reunion.
The Woman in White: Then don’t.

(to Kristen and the woman in white)
Ava: You know, if you untie me, I will be on my merry way, and the two of you can continue this little mommy-me play date.

(when Jada found EJ in the tunnels)
Jada: Here you are. I knew I was right.
EJ: That would be a first.

(to the woman in white when she said Ava was going to be Rachel’s new mother)
Kristen: I doubt that relationship would go far given Brady’s track record.

(to Hattie when she wanted something to drink)
Leo: I could use a break from the five minutes of writing.

Hattie: Thank you for taking care of me after that psycho tried to kill me.
Leo: Don’t mention it or anything else.

Sarah: Not everyone is as delusional as you, Kristen.
Kristen: I’m many things but delusional I am not.

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Days of Our Lives Best Lines

Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Leo)
Javi: Who do you have to sleep with to get a drink around here?

(to Leo when he thought his dimples attracted him)
Javi: Creative guys are my weakness, but creative guys with dimples? Guardame.

Kristen: I’m too work up.
Brady: I know. Me too.
Kristen: I mean, especially after I talked to EJ.
Brady: Talked to—what are you, a glutton for punishment?
Kristen: No. I mean, he was actually kind of being great.
Brady: EJ?

Kristen: Yeah.
Brady: EJ DiMera? Great?
Kristen: Well, we do have our moments sometimes.

Leo: You just focus on planning an unforgettable bachelor party. Although now that I think about it, the ones people can actually remember are probably the best ones.
Javi: Well, a night of debauchery is my plausible deniability.
Leo: Don’t forget—more alcohol, the better. Words to live by.

Doug: This is supposed to be the time of your life that people write songs about.
Holly: I’m sure a ton of people write songs about their boyfriends getting another girl pregnant, too.

(about EJ)
Kristen: He seemed curious about some of the more, well, shall we say colorful aspects of my upbringing.
Brady: Yeah, who wouldn’t be?
Kristen: Well, it was all in my memoir.
Brady: It’s going to be a Pulitzer Prize-winner for sure.

(to Doug)
Leo: There is only enough space in this dubiously decorated room for one drama queen, meaning—Why don’t you come work for me?

Stephanie: Do you know what this party needs?
Paulina: An exorcism?

EJ: Make a wish
Rafe: I wish you were dead.
EJ: You said it out loud, now it won’t come true.

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Days of Our Lives Best Lines

Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Leo: Hattie Adams.
Hattie: Hmm. Thought I’d never have to see that ugly mug again.
Leo: And yet, here you are, still wearing that sickly sweet cologne.
Hattie: Strawberry almond banana. I love it, and I gets lots of compliments on it.
Leo: Well, it’s making me want to toss my cookies.
Hattie: Makes me like it even more.

(When Hattie was brought in for being Lady Whistleblower)
Leo: This is a Christmas miracle.
Rafe: I think it had something to do with my detective skills.

Hattie: I’d like a little groveling from you.
Leo: Ok. So you expect me to grovel? Um how about we also throw in a private jet, a Ferrari 250 GTO Tipo, and a lifetime supply of pork rinds?

Hattie: Wow, yeah. I mean, except for the pork rinds. They tend to give me gas.
Leo: Yeah, I knew it.

(When Brady barged in the mansion)
EJ: Uh so usually, we prefer our guests to be announced. But hey, why stand on ceremony?

(When Rafe brought Hattie to the station)
Jada: So this is my present?
Rafe: Yeah. Sorry I couldn’t wrap it for you.
Hattie: You try that, you’ll be singing soprano.

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Marie (to Maggie): Oh, but I’d count myself lucky if I never laid eyes on Liz Chandler again.
Liz: Well, then I guess today’s not your lucky day, huh?

Liz: And I gather you’re not that delighted to see me, Marie.
Marie: You gather correctly especially not here in this town square named after my parents.
Liz: Well, for the record, I thought the world of your parents. It was you I couldn’t stand.

Liz: Lest you think I hold a grudge over what happened with Neil—how-how absurd would that be after all these years?
Marie: So I don’t have to look forward to your shooting me in another jealous rage?

Leo (to Steven): Forgive me for eavesdropping on your private conversation with a plaque, but I must confess, I used to make my living overhearing things I wasn’t meant to hear and then writing about them in my very popular gossip column. But rest assured, those days are behind me.

Lucas (to Steven): Aunt Marie told us about your history with diamonds and now you’re here with this guy? Give me a break.
Leo: This guy? The name is Leo.
Lucas: Is he helping you? Is he helping you fence it? Is that what he’s doing?
Steven: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Lucas: Drop the innocent act. You know your pal here? Your pal, your pal stole your, your cousin Abigal’s jewelry and then he tried to get her murderer to sell it for him.
Leo: That was a coincidence. I had nothing to do with Abigail’s murder, and I didn’t even know the two of you were related. My God, is everyone in this town cousins?
Leo (to Ciara and Lucas about accusing Steven of stealing Alice’s necklace): As if the two of you have any business judging anybody.
Ciara” And what is that supposed to mean?
Leo: You’re kidding, right? You (Lucas) kidnapped your own wife. You (Ciara) are married to a convicted serial killer. So, if I were you, I would consider putting that glass house on the market before you throw any stones.

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Leo (to Javi when he was speaking to him in Spanish): What? I hope that wasn’t your grocery list.

Leo: So, what did you think about the show? Be honest I want the naked, unadulterated truth
Javi: About?
Leo: About? About Body & Soul.
Javi: I told you, your body’s a ten, but we’re leaving your soul out of it.
Leo: Boy, my show, Body & Soul.

Paulina: I have a bone to pick with you.
EJ: You didn’t have to take it out on a defenseless cupcake.

Kayla: I’m serious. You look terrible.
Roman: Thanks, sis.

Chad (to Cat about getting Mark out of jail): I’m not thrilled at the idea of trying to help a guy who tried to put a bullet in my head.

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Xander (to Justin): Well, if it isn’t my traitorous cousin. Just so you know, I’m going to be at Brady’s arraignment.

Ava: Am I uh, consorting with a wanted fugitive?
Brady: Really not in the mood for that.
Ava: Sorry, not funny. I know. I’m sorry. Home? I thought you’d be in jail.
Brady: I should be. Apparently confessing to a crime isn’t enough to get you there.

Justin: Xander seemed pretty upset. I should probably sleep with one eye open tonight huh?
Maggie: Well, I’m sure he’ll calm down. Although it couldn’t hurt to start locking your door just in case.

Melinda (Connie had trouble cutting her food): You know I could help you with that.
Connie: Even on your best day, do you think I’m that stupid?

Johnny (to EJ): You slept with Gabi?! Were you trying to start World War 3?

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Stefan: I was just trying to convey to you that I was missing you and how hard it was to live without you.
Gabi: Oh, I am so sorry for you. It wasn’t hard for me at all. You were all alone in your big soft bed, but I was lucky. I had a double murder cell mate to keep me company.

Johnny: Grandma?
Hattie: Do I look like a grandma?
Johnny: Uh, well, you certainly look like mine.
Hattie: Sorry kiddo. I don’t have any kids, so I probably don’t have any grandkids either.

Leo (reading from a book): A person suffering from DID may not be aware of what their alters are thinking or experiencing thus each can operate as separate, but distinct personas. Oh my God that describes Dr. Evans to a T. One minute she’s wolfing down pork rinds and calling my hunty, and I’m telling her about the time I thought Andy Cohen was hitting on me at Whole Foods, but it turns out he was just looking for ketchup and he thought I worked there.

Leo: I’ll stage an intervention. It worked for Everett or did it make it worse.

Alex (to Justin about Theresa): It’s gotta be some kind of record. We were married for a whole 30 minutes before it imploded.

Leo: You look and sound exactly like Marlena.
Hattie: Geez, like I haven’t heard that a gazillion times.

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Abe: Your assistant said you were willing to talk
Marlena: Well, I’m always willing to talk

Connie (to Bobby): I know this. I got a perfect record. Whenever I commit a crime, I get away with it.

Stephanie: Eavesdropper. Do you ever get tired of sneaking up on people?
Leo: Are you kidding? It’s a gift and when it’s about Mr. Everett Lynch, I smell a story or at least something that could have a negative impact on me.

Connie: You’re the one who wanted a favor in exchange for keeping your mouth shut about me.
Bobby: Yeah, a favor not a murder.
Connie: What did you think I was going to do when I said I would get rid of him? Gift him a cruise around the world?

Bobby (to Connie): Try not to murder anyone else.

Hattie: You will not regret it.
Kate: I already do.

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Steve: I assume this felony has something to do with me breaking Clyde Weston out of Statesville?
Jada: Are there any other felonies that I should be aware of?
Steve: Not that I can recall

Jada: I have no choice but to formally charge and book you
Steve: It won’t be my first time posing for a mug shot.

Jada: There were two people in hazmat suits who escorted Clyde Weston to safety after that chemical spill. You’ve already admitted that you were one of them. Who was the other?
Steve: Rebecca Goldman. Who else?
Jada: Was it John Black?
Steve: John? No of course not.
Jada: You two are partners.
Steve: We’re partners at Black Patch, but we’re not partners in crime.

Stephanie: I care about Everett.
Bobby: You only care about yourself. You’re such a liar.

Bobby (to Stephanie): You have that annoying personality that thinks she’s always wanted. Don’t you? Let me say something to clear the air about it because it’s not totally getting through. I want nothing to do with you. I find you desperate and pathetic and unattractive. You do nothing for me.

Chad (talking about staring at the footage of the mystery woman): This is going to make me crazier than I already am.

Julie: We don’t need that do we?

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to John after he got shot)
Steve: How much you think Maggie will bill me for staining her carpet?

Alex: You could have shot Theresa.
Xander: But I didn’t, did I? I hit my target.
Alex: Yeah, you’re lucky you hit your target.
Theresa: I’m luckier.

Xander: I’ve always been an excellent marksman.
Brady: Yeah, Yeah, I’ve got the scar to prove it. Weren’t you the guy that accidentally shot Marlena at her wedding when you were trying to hit my brother Eric.
Xander: Yeah, you have one off day and that’s all anyone remembers.

(when Jada showed up and saw Konstantin’s dead body)
Jada: Who’s gonna start?
Alex: Xander killed him.
Xander: Way to throw me under the bus, cuz.

(about the gun in Xander’s hand)
Jada: Is that the murder weapon?
Xander: Yes, but it’s a bit harsh calling it a murder.

(about Steve getting shot at the wedding)
Stephanie: You were the one who got hit.
Steve: Yeah, I was too slow. Maybe I shouldn’t have skipped that second cup of coffee.

Marlena: Leo, what kind of help do you need?
Leo: Mental health help of course. My brain needs major fixing, but then so does my heart.
Marlena: Well cardiology is one floor up. As far as your brain, you can make an appointment.

(to Marlena)
Leo: I bet in this crazy town you have a line of nuts waiting around the block for your services.

(about Gabi)
Rafe: She’s innocent.
Clyde: Come on, man. The last thing your sister is is innocent.

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Stefan when he wanted to talk in public)
Kristen: We couldn’t have talked in the mansion with the 52 rooms.

(to Rafe)
Melinda: Anything I discussed with Ms. Peterson is under attorney privilege. I’m sure you heard of it.

(to EJ)
Leo: Make it quick. I have a low tolerance for boredom.

(to Roman when he ignored her)
Kate: I thought bartenders were supposed to be good listeners.

(to Kristen about Melinda not opening Gabi’s case)
Stefan: Do they want a signed confession from Gil from beyond the grave?

Leo: Can you tell me about the specials?
Roman: How about a knuckle sandwich? How’s that sound?

(when Goldman wouldn’t tell Ava and Lucas where Clyde was)
Ava: I guess Montana is as good as a place as any to get rid of a body.

(to Clyde when she was about to shoot him)
Ava: Give my best to the devil.

(when Clyde said Abby was alive)
Chad: What did you say?
Clyde: Did you need me to speak more clearly? Your wife is alive and well in the land of the living.

(when Konstantin said the door at the Horton house was open)
Konstantin: Did you realize no one in Salem lock their doors?

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(about EJ coming after her for taking his job)
Paulina: What’s he gonna do? Put a horsehead in your bed?
Melinda: You never know.

Leo: This lady is not going to blow your whistle.
Holly: Why not?
Leo: You sound disappointed.

(to Kate)
Ava: I think you should know by now since word gets around in this town that I don’t like being threatened.

(to Sloan)
EJ: I wouldn’t turn this into a trashy reality show if I were you.

(to Everett and Stephanie)
Leo: Have you two decided if you’re a thing or a thing thing?

(to Everett and Stephanie when they were talking gibberish)
Leo: Is this some ancient straight person language I know nothing about and don’t want to know about?

(to Theresa when she told him he would find love again)
Brady: Love will find you? You got any more greeting card expressions?

(about the prom)
Theresa: Let’s hope there aren’t any telekinetic kids trying to get revenge.
Brady: This is Salem. They are probably everywhere.

(about Everett getting arrested)
Stephanie: What are you saying? You think Everett got what he deserved?
Chad: Yeah, when you go around punching people in the face.

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Sloan)
EJ: You weren’t lying. Not this time anyway.

Everett: I’m going to order the hot dog.
Stephanie: You’re going to order the hot dog?
(when Stephanie started laughing)
Everett: Is there something funny about that that I don’t know about?

Eric: You’re a hot mess.
Leo: Zaddy? You’re putting me to bed again? It’s like gayja vu.

(when Leo was upset about Dimitri dumping him)
Leo: Did everything work out for you two?
Nicole: We have both moved on and are happily married to other people
Leo: Sure Jan.

(to Leo)
EJ: You don’t remember letting me in? How many sheets to the wind are you?

Leo: Nicole and Eric were here.
EJ: You don’t remember Nicole and Eric being here?
Leo: I remember because I wanted Nicole to leave so I can be with the salt and pepper…

(to Theresa when he looked up to Victor)
Alex: I forgive you Dad. If I’m looking in the right direction.

(to Stefan)
Kristen: I know that you love Gabi and for the life of me I can’t figure out why.

Sloan: I have been looking all over for you.
Leo: Let me know when you find me.

(to Leo)
Sloan: Guilt is a waste of time. Nobody gets anywhere by suffering.

Rafe: Can we talk?
EJ: I’ll assume I have no choice.

Rafe: The truth is Gabi is innocent.
EJ: Your sister is far from innocent.

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