Days Best Lines For The Week Of May 6, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Chanel when he was trying to convince her she wasn’t immature)
Johnny: If there’s anyone who’s immature it’s me. My only job title is trust fund baby.

(to herself)
Theresa: They say the best things in life are free, but I just happen to be shallow enough to think a few things are not enough.

(about Konstantin being upset about Maggie donating her money)
Sarah: I was thrown by it.
Xander: Thrown? I was more than thrown. I was appalled.

(when Sophia was upset about her black eye)
Holly: Swelling’s supposed to go up before it goes down.
Sophia: Thank you doctor.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of April 22, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Paulina: I swear Kayla. Only you can make a haz mat suit look chic.

Roman: You’re back from the monastery.
Kate: Words I bet you never thought you would say to me.
Roman: No, I didn’t.

(about Chanel’s ankle)
Chanel: It hurts when I put pressure on it.
Johnny: Maybe you shouldn’t do that.
Chanel: Why didn’t I think of that?

(to Stefan about being a bartender)
Ava: America loves its riches to rags story.

(to Stefan)
Ava: You’re lucky you have a brother who is the D.A. Those get-out-of-jail-free cards come in handy.

Stefan: I’m unarmed just so you know.
Harris: I’m not just so you know.

(to EJ)
Kristen: Wouldn’t it be entertaining to watch Stefan work?

(about Theresa going to Maggie about the magazine closing)
Theresa: I didn’t not run to Maggie.
Alex: Oh. So you drove there.

(about Tate)
Sophia: He is such a snacky snack. I wish he was on the menu.

(to Stefan)
Kristen: I would give you a nasty look, but you already have one.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of April 15, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Sloan when she said getting a lawyer was a bold move)
Stefan: What can I say? I’m a DiMera. Fearless is in our DNA.

Brady: We will protect you.
Tate: From Holly the teenage vampire.
Theresa: If the fangs fit.

(to Stefan)
Sloan: Let’s discuss my retainer.
(when Stefan hesitated)
Sloan: Not so fearless, are we?

(to Sloan about EJ)
Stefan: I know my brother. There’s no way he won’t turn against me.

Nicole: EJ’s not good at apologizing/
Theresa: Oh boo hoo. Poor EJ.

Eric: Who are you blackmailing these days?
Leo: Who am I not blackmailing that’s the real question.

(when Chad and Thomas were playing a wizard game)
Chad: Calculus is easier than this.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of April 8, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(when Steve brought Kayla flowers)
Kayla: Uh oh! What did you do?

Steve: I hate keeping secrets from you baby.
Kayla: Then don’t.

Ava: Unless you’re going to tell me where you are so I can slit your throat and watch you bleed out, I’m not interested.
Clyde: What’s with the hostility? Take a chill pill mama.

Holly: How’s school? What’s your favorite subject?
Rachel: Lunch.

Tripp: Is there any chance you could be pregnant?
Paulina: Are you going to card me for alcohol too?

(to Everett)
Leo: Since you are clearly singing the blues today, I will steer clear.

(to Everett)
Jada: Are you as stubborn as you are psychotic?

Nicole: Rachel is nothing but an entitled little brat.
Kristen: Rachel is not a brat.
Nicole: Yes, she is. She needs to come with a warning label just like her mother.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of April 1, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Holly)
EJ: Since you’re finally being honest, I trust you’ll tell us the whole story.

(about Holly)
Tate: She’s not a bad person.
Theresa: Oh yeah! Tell that to your ankle monitor.

Ava: Is there anything you can’ t do?
Harris: If there is I haven’t found it yet.

Theresa: What kid wants to stay home with their parents and eat cake?
Brady: I don’t know. I think that chocolate cake is a pretty good reason to hang around.

Paulina: Buckle up Marlena because you’re going to think I’m crazy.
Marlena: That word is not in my vocabulary.

(to Marlena)
Paulina: Answering a question with a question? Is that what they taught you in shrink school?

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of March 25, 2024

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Kristen: Didn’t your mother ever teach you never to keep a girl waiting?
Alex: Six whole minutes?

(about Theresa living with Brady)
Kristen: Does your pea brain grasp how counterproductive that is?
Alex: Look Cruella. I’m not one of your little puppy catchers, so if you want my help with this you better not talk down to me.

(to Sarah about Victoria)
Xander: My daughter’s not going to go anywhere with boys until she’s 27. Even then I’m going to be there with her.

(to Theresa about Kristen being crazy)
Alex: Maybe I like a little crazy in my life. I mean I was with you.

(when Theresa came in the DiMera mansion)
Theresa: Harold let me in. I’m guessing you were too lazy to get up.
Kristen: Well that’s what servants are for.

(to Kristen)
Theresa: This is not 1955. Parents can co-parent kids without being together.

(to Harris about who could have framed Xander for shooting him)
Xander: Unfortunately, Salem is filled with a number of people who would want to do him in. EJ DiMera being at the top of the list.

Priest: Are you here for a confession?
Leo: How much time do you have?

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of March 18, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Stefan when he told him about where he could hide)
EJ: I hear Siberia is wonderful this time of year.

(to Stefan when he wanted to say goodbye to Gabi)
EJ: You walk in there now, you’ll be taken out feet first, but don’t worry. I’ll gladly put the knife through Gabi’s heart on your behalf.

Stefan: You son of a b*tch.
EJ: I’d hold back on the name calling especially since your life is in my hands.

(when Sloan gave Leo his check)
Leo: Fantastic. This isn’t going to bounce, is it?
Sloan: Have my checks ever bounced?
Leo: There’s a first time for everything.

Konstantin: You do want to be rich, don’t you?
Theresa: Who doesn’t?

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of March 11, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Wendy: You guys really saved my life. Mine and Tripp’s.
John: All in a day’s work.
Rafe: Hey. That’s my line.

(about Wendy’s flowers)
Wendy: Your Mom brought those.
Tripp: I got a muffin. You must rate.

Chanel: Mama. You look so much better.
Paulina: Normally I would be offended by that remark, but right now I will take it.

(to Tripp)
Sarah: They say that doctors are the worst patients, but you are in a league of your own.

(when Harris accused EJ of knowing where Stefan was)
EJ: I didn’t know one could develop brain damage after being shot in the chest. You’re out of your mind.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of March 4, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Rafe)
Ava: This is not the day to mess with me. I am a mother whose son is missing.

Julie: You scared me to death.
Everett: Yeah, you give as good as you get.

(to Goldman about Harris being alive)
Clyde: Does this guy have a guardian angel or something?

(to Stefan)
EJ: You should rent out that space between your ears. You would net out a fortune.

(about EJ’s deal)
Stefan: You have my word.
EJ: Your word is worthless, but your signature on a bonding contract is gold.

(to Roman when he said he talked Kate into running a marathon)
Lucas: How is she going to do that? She doesn’t wear sneakers.

(to Leo)
Sloan: You have been draining me dry for weeks. Cheap is not a word I would use to describe you.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of February 26, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(when Johnny said he had news for EJ and Nicole)
EJ: Need we have a stiff drink at the ready for this other news?

Alex: Sorry Ma’am.
Kristen: Ma’am?
Alex: I didn’t know that was you.
Kristen: Now that you do it’s Miss.

Kristen: Are you having a problem with Theresa Jean Donovan.
Alex: Is that what her name is?
Kristen: You two don’t know each other at all.

(when he dropped his keys)
Stephan: Can one frickin’ thing go right?

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of February 19, 2024

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(about Paulina)
Kayla: She won’t be able to talk for a while.
Abe: I know she’s going to hate that.

(to Kayla about Paulina)
Chanel: Mama would look glamorous even in Sesame Street pajamas.

(to Jada, Stephanie, and Everett when Jada accused Everett of being her ex-husband)
Rafe: This isn’t going anywhere at least not anywhere good.

(to Connie when she yelled at her)
Melinda: I’m trying to figure out who you are and what asylum you escaped from.

(to Rafe when he said a witness said he looked like he was in a hurry)
Xander: Doesn’t everyone running look like they are in a hurry?

(to Ava when she asked to see Harris)
Rafe: Despite what some people think I do have a heart.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of February 12, 2024

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Stefan: Hello all.
Tripp: Hey there. Nice to see you fully dressed.

Stefan: You’re going to forget about what you saw.
Tripp: I wish I could.

(when Stefan asked Ava why she slept with him if she loved Harris)
Ava: What the hell is wrong with you?
Stefan: Lots of things.

(to Kristen)
Brady: It’s okay to do all these rotten things because you love and because you’re afraid to lose me. Is that okay?

(when Sloan gave Eric lingerie for Valentine’s Day)
Eric: I don’t think it’s my size.

(when Leo ran into Eric, Sloan, and Jude)
Leo: Look who’s here. Two of my favorite people and Sloan.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of February 5, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Johnny)
Chanel: If the devil couldn’t keep us apart, the DiMeras sure as hell can’t.

(to Abe after they made love)
Paulina: Are you asking me to rate your performance?

(about Chanel and Johnny getting married)
Abe: Young love.
Paulina: Old timers’ lover ain’t bad either.

(to EJ when he asked where he was last night)
Stefan: You want to know where I was last night. I was on the corner of shut the hell up and none of your business. That’s where I was.

(to Stephanie about Clyde)
Kayla: He needs to go straight to Hell. He’s already halfway there after what he did to Abby.

(to Stefan)
EJ: When all the dusts settles, I’ll be the one on top while you’re off to jail to become someone’s bottom.

(to Kayla)
Stephanie: I hope I don’t have to marry the same guy four times before I get it right.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of January 29, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Stephanie)
Leo: My my. Girl, you do get around.

Stephanie: Leo, what are you doing here?
Leo: I live in this building, remember? And according to the guest registry which I may or may not take a peek at two times a day, you do not.

Stephanie: This is not what you think.
Leo: So, it’s even better? My imagination is on fire.

Stephanie: Where I spend the night is my business.
Leo: And maybe Lady Whistleblower’s

Johnny: Any coffee left for me?
Stefan: You know where the pot is.

Johnny: Do you know if my dad’s up?
Stefan: Well, Johnny. Since I am my brother’s keeper, I happen to have his minute-by-minute schedule on my phone. Let me check it for you.

Stephanie: Everett and I are colleagues just like you and me.
Leo: Colleagues with benefits.
Stephanie: No just friends
Leo: But Harry and Sally clearly taught us men and women can’t be friends because the sex part gets in the way.

(to Everett)
Leo: Are you alright? You look the before photo of a makeover.

(to Stefan)
What so about what age would you say I need to be before I get the memo that you can always justify cheating on your wife?

Stefan: Is playing hot for me such a chore for you?
Ava: It actually is. You know you’re not as hot as you think you are.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of January, 22, 2024

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(to John when his hair was messed up)
Marlena: I love you too. You might want to introduce yourself to a comb.

Xander: It’s so nice having someone else in the house who can cook.
Sarah: Well don’t get too excited. You haven’t had my meal yet.

(When Stephanie said she doesn’t drink much)
Ava: Your little sleepover with Harris.
Stephanie: You mean Harris Michaels?
Ava: You know another Harris?

(to Leo after he suggested seeing Wonka and other movies)
Brady: Thank you for your suggestions. You can oompa lumpa your way out of here.

(to Eric)
Leo: I need some wonderfully flattering photos of myself preferably ones that make me look taller, younger, thinner for Lady Whistleblower’s grand return.

(to Eric)
Leo: This is Salem. There’s always a scandal ready to be exposed.

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Days Best Lines For The Week of January 15, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

(to Everett)
Chad: I bet you’re as sharp with that racket as you are with that broom. Charlotte picked up more trash than you and she’s in pre-school.

(to Sloan)
Leo: Keep in mind that you did promise to pamper me in a manner to which I was becoming very accustomed, and so far, honey your service is like getting two and a half stars from me.

(to Chad and Everett)
Leo: Where’s the confetti? Where are the streamers and banners celebrating the return of Lady Whistleblower?

(to Chad and Everett)
Leo: Well, what do you think? What do you think? I mean, not that I’m desperate for a compliment under accolades and kudos and or praise. Actually I am.

(to Sloan)
Nicole: May I suggest that you pour yourself a large glass of wine before they get there because if you start the night off wired, it’s only going to go downhill from there.

Stefan: What are you thinking?
Ava: Orange is a bad color for me.

(to Ava when she was talking to Harris)
Stefan: From where I was standing, it looked as if you were going to shove the truth and your tongue down his throat.

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Days Best Lines For The Week of January 1, 2024

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

EJ: I don’t know about you but I’m ready to call it a night.
Nicole: Ooh I wore you out, did I?

(To EJ about Theresa and Brady’s drug recovery)
Theresa: You’re not really up to date on the current century.

Theresa: Addiction is not a moral failing. It’s a disease.
EJ: I’d say it’s both for the two of you.

(about handling the drug situation)
Ava: I think I might have a way.

Stefan: Yeah? What are you going to knock on the door of every drug dealer in Salem and ask to buy the product back?
Ava: I’ve got people I can call.
Stefan: People you can call. What is this straight out of the Godfather? What’s next you’re going to make ‘em an offer they can’t refuse?

(to Tate)
EJ: I’m going to make sure you’re an old man before you get out of prison.

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Days Best Lines For The Week Of November 27, 2023

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Sloan: What are you doing here? Have you forgotten that you are a fugitive? I thought you were leaving town.
Dimitri: And I thought you were helping Leo. And I suppose our expectations don’t always align with reality.

Lee (to Harris): If you’re going to stand there and take potshots at me, please leave so I can mourn that sweet little and wallow in self-pity.

Leo: You didn’t happen to bring me a turkey dinner, did you? Or better yet a tofurkey? I consider myself a vegan at heart. You know just one that eats meat from time to time.

Jada: Nope. No turkey or tofurkey. And I’m afraid, Leo. You’re the one whose goose is cooked.
Leo: I do love a clapback with some spicy wordplay.

Jada: You’re not the one we want. We want the big fish.
Leo: Now I’m insulted on top of everything else. Are you saying I’m not a big fish?

Sloan (about taking Nicole’s baby) I didn’t plan to take him.
Dimitri: You know I’ve actually used that line when I was caught shoplifting at the mall and that excuse didn’t even work for a pair of rollerblades.

Dimitri (to Sloan): You think telling me that you didn’t plan to steal a baby somehow exonerates you?

Steve: (about Konstantin): It looks like Maggie’s friend has an allergy.
Kayla: An allergy?
Steve: To the truth.

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Days Lines For The Week of 10/16/23

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Monday

Stephanie forgot Abby’s birthday. She acted as if she was close to her, but she forgot her birthday.

Kate talked to Marlena about her kids, but she didn’t mention Billie and Cassie. Did she forget she had daughters?

Stephanie shouldn’t have been surprised that Chad doesn’t love her the way he loved Abby. She knew that Chad was in love with Abby so there’s no need to be surprised that he doesn’t love her the same way.

Tuesday

Kayla pulled strings to get Talia a job at the hospital, but she was ready to go back to California.

Clyde is managing to do a lot in prison. He helped Edmund kidnap Susan. There’s no reason why they should have met each other.

Wednesday

Stefan was upset that Gabi chased Vivian away as if she hadn’t gone for a long time. She was in prison, so he wasn’t seeing her.

Dimitri was shot and was going to be arrested for attempted murder, but he didn’t have a cop outside of his room at the hospital.

Thursday

Leo didn’t know Dimitri was going to be on the run so how did he know to have a blonde wig with him?

Rachel could be heard talking to Stephan while Tate was shown.

Friday

When did Steve have a problem with Theresa? Theresa said she couldn’t stay with Kayla because Steve had a problem with her.

Emily O’Brien (Gwen/Theresa) was talking with her British accent.

 

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Days Lines For The Week of October 9, 2023

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Stephanie: What are you doing here?
Alex: According to the nameplate, I work here.

Marlena: I’m so glad you’re here.
Tate: Me too, Granny Mar Mar. What I heard my sister calls you that. What you don’t like it?

Marlena: Well you can call me Grandma Marlena unless you like sleeping in the broom closet.

Philip: Chloe didn’t do anything wrong.
Kate: Of course she didn’t because she never does anything wrong.

EJ: Of course Sarah’s still angry, but that doesn’t change the fact that Xander Cook kidnapped you and you lost almost a year of your life as a direct result.
Susan: but, Sarah thinks…
EJ: There is no buts
Susan: but Sarah thinks there is one…right Sarah?
Sarah: Yeah there is. He’s not a murderer.
EJ: Not this time

Susan: Xander felt very badly about kidnapping me. He treated me real nice.
EJ: Oh that makes all the difference then. It’s not really kidnapping when they treat you nicely.

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Days Weekly Best Lines Week of June 16, 2023

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Bonnie (about Sarah): That girl is wound up tighter than a $2 watch.

Leo (to Dimitri): You and Billie Reed were cute together like Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
 
Leo (to Chloe after he busted her kissing Xander): That is your definition of platonic?
 
Bonnie (to Justin when she lied about Sarahs pregnancy): I was a much better liar before I fell in love with you and now I am out of practice.
 
Stefan (to Nicole): I don’t know where EJ is. Have you checked between the couch cushions?
 
Leo (to Gwen): As a thought experiment, let’s just say I’m wrong, which I’m not. Almost never am.

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Days Weekly Best Lines September 16, 2022

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Ava (to Johnny on why she couldn’t have sex with him): For starters, I’m old enough to be your…I’d rather not say the “M” word.

EJ (to Li about Gabi): How long does it take to say goodbye to a man who’s been dead for four years?

Li: Today was an emotional day for Gabi. I proposed to her today.
EJ: Yes I’m aware. Tony and Anna told me about your blissful announcement. Let me be the first to offer my condolences.

Orpheus (to Steve, Roman and John): I’m sure you figured out by now that I’m behind what’s happening to your precious women Sweetness, Doc, Sneezy. I’m sorry I meant Kate.

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Days Weekly Best Lines September 9, 2022

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Week of 8-29-22 and 9-1-22

Leo (when he catches Stephanie turning down Alex): Are you nuts, girl? How could you not be into him?

EJ (about Ava): I am concerned about having an unstable shareholder upholding their duties.
Tony: You would have to oust half the shareholders on that basis.

Tony (about Li): Even without Ava’s vote in play, you still have to worry about Li who is firmly on Gabi’s side.
EJ: I took that into consideration.

Ava (about Jake): I know he’s dead, but it felt so real. I sound crazy.
Johnny: I don’t think your crazy considering I was possessed by the devil.

EJ: I move to disqualify Ava as a shareholder.
Board Member: Why?
EJ: She sees dead people.

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Days Weekly Best Lines May 2, 2022

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Best Lines by Michele and Cheryl

Sonny: So the double wedding ended with nobody getting married?
Chad: That’s right we had one bride three grooms and not a single I do. A very Salem wedding.

(to Chad)
Sonny: I wish I could have seen what his face looked like.
Leo: His face looked like this. Ready to kill.

Gwen: I sure wasn’t expecting to see you. The last thing you had said to me was you were done with me.
Jack: This was Jennifer’s idea.
Gwen: Oh come on don’t jerk. Nobody’s that wonderful.

(why Gwen did what she did to Sarah)
Gwen: The reason why she did it–
Jack: What the devil made you do it?
Gwen: In a way, yes.

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Days Weekly Best Lines March 28, 2022

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(to Orpheus)
EJ: Clyde doesn’t trust me? I’m shocked I tell you. Shocked.
Orpheus: I’ll also be keeping a close eye on you.
EJ: Oohh. I’m flattered.
Orpheus: That smart mouth of yours will get you killed around here.

Chad: Since Phoenix, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.
Leo: All this time I’ve been living there rent free and I didn’t know it.

Leo: This is quite the sexual revelation. It’s right up there with the time I saw Chris Evans kiss that dude.
Chad: Chris Evans is gay?
Leo: Sadly no. It’s his brother, but in my head I thought it was still Chris.

(to Chad)
Leo: Chadwick if you had spilled all of this tea sooner, I would have been all over it and you.

(to Chad)
Leo: I noticed your bad acting a mile away.

 

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