Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
Is this really where DiMera execs lunch? This sandwich doesn’t look very– like, this artisanal.
[laughs] Well, it’s quick, we’re busy, and you’re not an exec.
Not yet, but believe me, I am manifesting exec-ness. Every morning, affirmations Scotch-taped to the bathroom mirror.
[chuckles] Well, babe, I also need you to manifest picking up my dry cleaning. Oh, and my car needs an oil change, which you will get at the Lube Spot.
The Lube Spot?
Here’s a punch card you can use.
[relaxed music] What? Abuela taught me financial responsibility.
Yes, we love fiscal advice from a woman whose guest room was basically just a pile of coupons and a couple of cat trees.
[laughs]
Listen, Javi, with the divorce, the lawyers, and the Gabi Chic deal that fell through with that investor…
It’s…
[sighs] Did I tell you that my Chic Team and I were supposed to fly to Dubai? First class. I read the menu. You know what they were serving? Kobe beef sliders with a chutney spread.
[phone beeps]
Oh, and, uh, before I forget, I need you to go… Hello? Javi? Are you listening to a word I’m saying?
[sighs] Ugh! He must be typing and erasing, which you only do when you like somebody, right? Oh. Oh, well, I don’t have time for those annoying doubts right now.
[soft dramatic music] And then Rodrigo says, “You know, I think I’m too hot for this relationship.”
[laughs] Leonardo, you have done it again. “I’m too hot for this relationship”? Has anyone ever said that on TV before? It’s edgy, irreverent, hilarious, of course.
[chuckles] Hey, Regan.
Uh, Joy, actually.
I’m sorry. I always think of actors as their characters when I’m engrossed in a scene.
Sorry, how do you know who I am? The show hasn’t even aired yet.
I recognize you from your headshot. I’m sorry, we have not been properly introduced. I’m the head writer– of “Body & Soul,” obviously.
Oh, well, it’s nice to meet you, um–
Leo. Leo Stark.
Leo Stark. Why do I know that name?
You’ve heard of me? Really?
[laughs]
Yeah. Yeah, I have. You are the guy who destroyed my parents’ marriage.
[sighs]
[dramatic music]
Johnny, hi.
Uh…
[clears throat] Joy.
I’m– I’m glad that I ran into you. You– you left this in my room last night.
You ready to do this?
Yeah, we got, uh, lights. Cameras are in positions.
No, I mean are you ready for me to sleep with your wife?
[phone ringing]
Chad. What are you doing here?
I need to talk to you.
[soft dramatic music]
I told you, I don’t know where Abigail’s body is. I’m sorry. I just–
This isn’t about that.
OK. What’s it about?
I’m dropping the charges against you.
[tense music]
OK, darling. Second helping of chicken soup coming right up! Nothing wrong with his appetite.
[doorbell rings]
[bright music] It’s JJ Deveraux! Oh, my! Oh, my.
[soft orchestration] announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”
[relaxed music]
Well, who are you texting with that little grin on your face?
Who am I texting? I’m not texting.
Come on, Primo. I’m not a teacher. No after-school detention.
Yeah, but you are my boss, and I was just noting everything you’re saying and smiling to myself at how wonderful you are. Isn’t that what assistants do?
[laughter] I’ve never been an assistant, so that question’s not rhetorical.
What are you talking about? Weren’t you Anna Wintour’s assistant back in–
That lie’s been on my rĂŠsumĂŠ so long that I convinced myself it’s true.
[laughter]
Oh, OK.
Look, Gabi, I am so grateful for the gig, but I didn’t realize that I was just gonna be, you know, an errand boy.
No, you’re more than an errand boy. In fact, take this down.
I am going to need you to reorganize the online filing system. Oh, and purge the office of any traces of Psycho Connie. I will need this done by– Tuesday? Wednesday the latest. And not this Wednesday, the following Wednesday.
[phone beeps]
[phone beeps]
I did what? Destroyed your–
[phone beeps] Listen, I have ruined quite a few marriages in my day, so I’m gonna need you to be a little more specific. Who exactly are your parents?
I’m Joy Wesley. My father’s Craig Wesley.
[soft dramatic music]
Right. That would explain why your mother was in town. I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to your name when I was looking at your headshot.
Well, just so you know, my mother was absolutely devastated when she found out my father was cheating on her.
I know that. Believe me, I do.
Look, I hope this doesn’t affect our ability to work together.
Fingers crossed.
Look, you should know, I am very, very sorry for what I did. I’m in therapy three, sometimes four times a week. And what I’ve learned is that I have a good heart, and I didn’t set out to be a home-wrecker.
You know what? Who am I to judge? Lately, I’ve become a bit of a home-wrecker myself.
What I meant is my character sleeping with Chanel’s character, as in–
Yeah, no, I know what you meant, Alex, OK? But can you– can you maybe see how the way that you worded it could have been a little triggering to me? Especially since I made a complete idiot out of myself right before my own surprise party? No less, you know, when I accused my own wife of cheating on me? How about we actually don’t talk about this anymore?
Sure. Sure. Let me just say this, though. If it makes you feel any better, I also was an idiot. Stephanie and I made a huge mistake that we will never, ever do again, I can assure you.
Hold on, all right? Just– you and Stephanie are none of my business.
Right. But you and Chanel kind of are my business, Johnny, because we work together. So I need your assurance here, man. No World War III, OK?
No World War III.
All right. And look, Alex, I’m, uh– I’m sorry. Really, I am, if my– my little outburst screwed things up for you and Stephanie.
No.
I’m especially sorry for what I did to Chanel.
You’re dropping the charges? Why?
I’ll let my brother elaborate on the why. But for the record, Cat, whatever your supposed justifications were, I am disgusted and appalled at what you did to Chad and the rest of Abigail’s family.
[tense music]
[handcuffs clinking]
Enjoy the freedom you sure as hell don’t deserve.
Chad. Yeah, I imagine you’re not just having your brother drop the charges out of the goodness of your heart.
You’re right. I would much rather see you rot in there for the rest of your life.
Oh.
But I can’t.
You can’t? Why not?
[relaxed music]
And certainly not least, I need you to take these to the courthouse by close of business.
What are they?
My divorce papers.
Gabi, are you sure you’re ready to do this?
I signed them. Stefan signed them. It’s over. As soon as they’re filed, I’ll officially be divorced.
OK. I’m sorry, Prima. I know this isn’t what you wanted.
You better get to it. – Ahora mismo, jefa.
Well, hello there.
What the hell do you want?
So you’re a home-wrecker too, huh? Or maybe you’re just trying to impress the head writer by already being in character, channeling that vixen Regan Holloway, fire a little wrecking ball right into Arrow and Faith’s love me, love me not romance.
Uh, nope. Actually talking about real life.
Whoa. Though I now write fiction, I admit I’m rather partial to real-life intrigue. So tell me, Ms. Wesley, whose home did you wreck?
[soft dramatic music]
[sighs]
Chanel.
Hey! There you are.
Yeah. Sorry I’m a bit late. I was just introduced to the wonderful world of body makeup.
Ah.
[chuckles]
And, uh, look, I– I’m gonna be honest with both of you. I am having a bit of a hard time, you know, gearing up to this doing a love scene with you in front of you. But I am a professional, so I am gonna power through it, and you’re gonna do the same, and I know that you’re gonna do the same, Alex, because everything is gonna be OK because it is all just make believe, right?
Yeah. Yeah. That’s, uh– that’s all it is.
Hmm. Great. Now that we’ve gotten that established, um, can we get this show on the road, huh?
Yeah.
Well, I think it’s wonderful that you were at the wedding. You were able to– to help stop the fraud that that evil woman was trying to perpetrate on Chad. Well, on the whole family.
I– I only wish we would have figured it out before I pronounced them man and wife.
Well, don’t worry, sweetheart. The wedding isn’t valid. It’s just one more heartache that Chad doesn’t need right now.
That’s for sure.
Good thing is that sadistic woman is now in jail,
[laughs] along with her murderous brother behind bars. I’m confident that Chad and EJ will see to it that she stays there for a very long time.
[sigh] Is there a particular reason why you can’t just let me rot in jail forever?
Clyde Weston escaped.
What? How? I thought he was under / watch.
I don’t know. He was being transferred from supermax to, uh– to his appeal.
Oh, my God. Did you–
No. Talk to him about your mother? I assume that’s what you were gonna ask me.
[tense music]
[sigh] So what are you saying? You– you talked to him. You talked to Clyde.
He called me. We talked. I asked him where I could find Abigail’s remains. He told me he would tell me, under one condition.
What’s the condition?
I hand you over to him.
I’m so glad you’re here.
[laughs]
Oh, me too. I had to come. I need to know what happened to my sister’s body. And I– I wanted to see my family. See how everyone’s doing.
You are a dear to care so much.
Of course, I do. And how’s Doug doing? Who’s just about my favorite person in the world?
[laughs] Mine too.
Being around him always lifts my spirits. I mean that.
Well, I’ll tell him. That’ll put a smile on his face.
Is he doing OK?
[somber music]
Well, not– not so good today. Uh, he really believed that your sister was alive, and now he’s got a bad cold.
I’m sorry to hear that.
You know, Doug, he’ll be up and around in no time.
The man’s nothing if not resilient. What is he, like, now?
Yeah, . On the cusp of a century. Imagine.
I believe that every day that Doug is with us is just a blessing.
We all do.
Clyde wants me? What? Why?
He’s angry. I imagine he has a bank account in the Caymans that’s probably pretty low on funds right now because you failed to deliver the DiMera fortune.
So– so what? He wants revenge on me? Like– like what he probably has already done to my mother?
I imagine so.
[ominous music]
So you had EJ drop the charges against me so you could just throw me to the lions and give Clyde what he wants?
I need to know what happened to Abigail. This is the only way.
[chuckles] This is the only way? Really? You’re just gonna hand me over to some hardened criminal? This is the only way? You hate me that much?
[tense music]
I just wanted to say that–
You don’t have to say anything. You can just be on your merry way.
Look, I know you’re upset when you found the letter that Stefan wrote to me regarding his sudden decamping from Salem, along with his great displeasure for the both of us, but–
I remember what it said. Trust me.
And I’m sure your feelings were hurt when he took the time to write to me and not to you.
What are you doing, EJ? Rubbing it in? What are you, a child?
No, but you certainly acted like one the other day.
Excuse me?
Gabi, what you said to me was irrational, especially since you told me that you wanted a divorce too.
What are you now, a couple’s therapist?
What I am is offended, so I thought I’d give you the chance to apologize.
Apologize? For what?
You said the dissolution of your marriage was entirely my fault, when clearly–
And it was! It was all your fault, EJ.
You know what? I probably shouldn’t even be talking to you about this, so just forget I even said anything.
Oh, honey, believe me, I forget most things, except scandalous gossip. See, not long ago as a world-renowned gossip columnist, this sort of thing was my raison d’ĂŞtre, but I gave all that up to head write “Body & Soul.” Chips in the center. I’m in TV now where my extraordinary wit and shallowness are being financially rewarded.
Well, that’s great and all, but–
Oh, come on, Joy, you can tell me. And then maybe, just maybe, I can incorporate this home-wrecking into a juicy story for your character.
Right, uh–
Think about it. I mean–
Leo.
Javi. Hi.
Oh, long time no see, yeah?
Yeah. Welcome to Salem, where you run into everyone you know and hate at least times a day.
[laughs] Present company excluded. I think the two of you are swell. Javier Hernandez, this is Joy Wesley. Joy, this is Javier.
It’s nice to meet you, Javier.
Oh, please, call me Javi.
OK.
Hey, I’m sorry I did not respond to your text.
Yeah, I was wondering if you were blowing me off since I saw those read receipts and the dots that never turn into words.
Oh, well, OK, I admit I read it. I just was–
You know what? I, um– I actually need to get to set. It was so nice meeting both of you. Bye.
But wait. You didn’t tell me who you– hmm, damn it.
[bright music]
OK. Uh, places, everyone. Let’s go.
[claps] All right. And action.
[claps]
Oh, Arrow, I just heard the news about your mother! Oh, no. Am I too late? Is Kassandra… dead?
No, no. My mother’s just down the hall right now, getting a life-saving serum made from a begonia plant found only in the jungles of Iguaza.
What?
Yes. Against all odds, Faith, I was able to bring back a flower that can cure her disease and save her life.
Oh, Arrow, how– how heroic, how– how brave!
It’s a miracle. I thought I was gonna lose my precious mother, but now she’s gonna live, Faith.
Oh, thank God! Oh!
All this, it’s made me realize that the life we have is so short, and the time we have on this Earth is even shorter, and precious.
What are you saying, Arrow?
I’m saying that if you’re lucky enough to find the one person you truly love, we mustn’t squander a single second of that precious time.
[tender music]
[soft dramatic music]
[soft dramatic music]
And scene! OK, uh, that was, uh– it was great, guys. Very, uh– very steamy.
Thank you. All right.
[groans] Whew! I am gonna go get changed.
Hey, uh, was– was that so bad?
No, it was not so bad.
OK, great. Well, I have to admit that I was holding my breath the whole time, waiting for you to call cut, but now that we’ve gotten through that first love scene, it’s not gonna be a problem anymore, right?
Right. Right. No, not a problem. Not anymore.
Good. And you feel better now?
Actually, I don’t.
What? Why not?
Look, no, I’m fine. I’m fine with what you two just did. It’s fine. I’m just– uh, I’m not fine with what I did.
So what’s up with Joy what’s her name?
Wesley.
Yeah, I was getting a vibe, but I always get vibes. My best friend Eliana says that I’m an empath.
I feel like everyone’s an empath nowadays.
Yeah, that’s true. Seems to be going around.
Anyway, that vibe you were picking up on is probably because I slept with her father and subsequently destroyed her parents’ marriage.
Wow! You really are a chico malo, huh? Gabi was right about you. That’s bad boy in Spanish.
Yeah, I knew that. Anyway, I feel like I’m less of a bad boy and more of a home-wrecker, which doesn’t sound nearly as sexy. But then Joy just admitted that she was one too. Damn. I’d love to get the lowdown on whose home that one wrecked.
Hey, you’re Alex, right?
I am.
OK, so you’re the actor who, um– oh, sorry. Sorry. I’m Joy Wesley.
Oh, hey, Joy. So you’re playing, uh–
Regan.
Regan. Yes, I heard about you.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
What’d you hear?
[chuckles]
Just that you’re going to be a huge thorn in Chanel’s side.
[dramatic music]
That reminds me. Did you bring your guitar? You know, you could sing some songs to Doug, and maybe he’d join in.
Yeah. No, I’d like that. Um, you know, it’s funny. I was just thinking the other day that I was, uh– it was Doug who gave me Great Grandma Alice’s wedding ring to propose to Lani, and knowing full well that I was– I was jumping into something I was not ready for. And I remember, he tried to gently warn me.
As I remember, you came to that conclusion on your own.
Yeah. So how are Eli and Lani?
Great. They’re great. I keep hoping they’ll come visit and bring the adorable twins. Now, JJ Deveraux, tell me, is there any special person in your life now?
[soft dramatic music]
At the moment, no.
Oh. Quel dommage. Such a handsome, such a charismatic guy. I’m sure there’ll be a lovely lady coming along very soon.
My fault?
[sighs] Gabi, as we have established, unequivocally and repeatedly, you thought your marriage was over when you found out Stefan cheated on you with Ava, and I only slept with you because you seduced me.
And you should have said no.
I– I did say no.
Oh, come on, you didn’t mean it. You were trying to stick it to Stefan.
[dramatic music]
Here are the facts, my dear. You were the married one. You were the one who initiated things with me. And just to be clear, you were screaming from the rooftops that you were through with Stefan.
But you knew. You knew I wasn’t.
Wasn’t what?
In my right mind.
Gabi, serious question, but when are you in your right mind?
Screw you, EJ.
I think you’ve already checked that one off the list.
You son of a bitch! You should have stopped it, EJ! Damn it, you should have stopped it!
Yeah, I hate you. Because at the end of the day, you had the power to stop all of this, and you didn’t.
Chad–
No, sure, I understand that there were extenuating circumstances. Clyde was threatening to kill your mother. But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have maneuvered your way out of it without, you know, leading a total stranger into believing that his dead wife was alive.
And I wish I had done that.
I wish you would have too.
[tense music] There is a part of me that wants to let Clyde do my dirty work. If I were my brother, he probably would. But I’m not my brother, so I will not hand you over to your death.
What are you gonna do?
I’ve got a couple errands to run.
Errands? You just got here.
Yeah, but–
Oh. I notice you did not have a suitcase. Does that mean you’re thinking you’re gonna check into the Salem Inn?
I was going to do just that, yes.
Oh, please don’t. Don’t. The children would love to have you around, as would Doug, and as would I.
[tender music]
OK. All right. But in that case, will you, uh, at least let me pick up dinner for everybody?
Oh, yeah.
What do the kids like? Pizza? Chicken nuggets?
[laughs] All of the above. Oh, it’s going to be wonderful having you here, and I hope you stay a while this time.
We’ll see.
Chad will be happy you’re here too. Yeah. He’s usually home by now. Wonder what’s keeping him.
[laughs]
Well, it’s simple, really.
[soft dramatic music] I’m gonna use you as bait.
You’re gonna use me as–
Bait, yeah. And I’m gonna do my best to protect you, but I can’t guarantee it’s gonna work out.
Truth is, uh, I don’t really know what’s going to happen.
I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I– I owe you that much, at the very least. And if there’s a chance that my mother’s still alive, this could lead me to her.
This may be asking too much, but I have–
Let me guess. You– you want me to get your brother out of jail after he showed up and, uh, tried to shoot me? Yeah, that’s asking too much.
OK. OK, I understand. I’m his sister. But–
But?
If we’re gonna do this and have any hope of it being successful, we’re gonna have to work together, travel together, compare notes. You have to be around me. Are you gonna be able to handle that?
Yeah, well, under normal circumstances, no.
But these aren’t normal circumstances, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get my wife back.
Uh, who said I was gonna cause trouble for Chanel?
No, no, I meant her character, Faith.
[laughs] And your character, you know, comes in-between us.
Right. Right. Of course.
Yeah.
Totally. Yeah, no, our publicist, Stephanie, she told me I better watch out for some hate mail over that. Or at least some hateful posts. It’s nice of her to warn me.
Yeah, yeah. Stephanie– she’s the best.
Why did you say it like that? I heard the pause.
No, no. Stephanie and I were seeing each other, sort of. Now we can’t anymore. We’re gonna keep our distance from one another, or, uh, we could lose our jobs.
Right, you’re– You’re Alex Kiriakis. You’re Bonnie’s stepson.
Yeah.
So Bonnie is my mom’s best friend, so I heard all about what happened.
[chuckles]
Ah.
Johnny, I– I know that it has been hard to move past this. Hard for both of us. I mean, you thought that I betrayed you, and so you felt hurt, and then I was hurt that you thought that and that you thought that I would cheat on you, and I would never do that. And, yeah, it’s just, we– look, Johnny, you can’t just sit around wallowing, OK? You’ve got to get past it.
I know. It’s just, uh–
Just what?
[tense music]
I want to be the husband that you deserve, Chanel. And I will be. But I’m gonna make this up to you. Not just with my words, but with my actions. I promise.
[dramatic music]
Anyway, Javi, thank you for the dialogue assist. Eres el mejor.
Oh, espaĂąol muy bien.
Oh, gracias. I did spend a summer in Spain once. Actually, it was more like when I was a kid, my mom and I had this layover in Madrid. We were supposed to meet this rich guy on a boat. He was gonna save us financially, only there was definitely no boat, and he was poor as a church mouse.
You’re funny. You know that?
You think so? All right. No fake modesty. I know that I am.
[laughs]
But I love it when people say it.
And not just funny. You just have a way about you.
So, um, how do you say this pickup line of yours?
So discĂşlpa pero creo que me debes una bebida.
Is that PG enough to go on air?
It depends on how you say it.
How’s this?
[clears throat] DiscĂşlpame pero creo que me... – Debes. – Debes una bebida.
[laughs] Well, I’d say that is closer to NC-.
[laughter]
That’s what I was going for.
I figured. Uh, I’d love to hang, but I have a million errands to run for my cousin, so–
Gabi? Tell her to hire somebody to do that.
She did hire somebody. Me. I’m her personal assistant.
You are? What’s– what’s your hourly rate?
Well, Gabi is getting the I need a place to stay discount. Anyway, I have to, like, get her an oil change and file her divorce papers.
Oh, yeah, Gabi’s getting a divorce. Imagine that.
This is a bad one. Cheating in both directions, the husband signed the papers, and then…
[whistles] Hasta nunca, mi esposa. And, Gabi, God bless her, is the strongest person I know, but this broke her. Girl’s really going through it.
All right, Gabi. All right. If it makes you feel better, blame me. You’re right. You’re right. I– I ruined your marriage. Lest we forget, you ruined mine, as you may recall, by shooting your mouth off at that press conference. So let’s consider us even.
So you admit you ruined my marriage.
Here’s what I will admit. Yes, there was a part of me that relished seeing Stefan in such anguish over our little tryst. And, yes, I did drive my brother to demand a divorce when I told him that he would never be able to get out those salacious images that that– that PowerPoint, that torturous little PowerPoint of you and I in bed together out of his head. So fine. I will take credit for your stupid little divorce.
But, damn it, you both deserve it after all the miserable things you’ve done to me.
[laughs] You know what?
I loved doing it. I loved seeing my brother cuckolded just as much as I loved seeing your poor little heart broken.
I’m deriving…
[sighs] whew– great satisfaction from all of it, in fact.
[chuckles]
Uh, no offense, but my heart doesn’t exactly bleed for Ms. Step Away from the Stark, or her smug, the very handsome ex-husband.
Hey, you’re allowed to feel what you feel. And I actually hate to step away from the Stark, but I have to run these errands for Gabi, or she’s gonna kill me.
Yeah, I should probably get back to work myself. But maybe we could get together later, grab a drink, dinner.
I’d like that. I’ll text you.
Good. Gate– uh–
[laughs]
Great.
[tender music]
[phone beeps]
Hey.
Hey. Johnny seemed pretty chill about everything, huh?
Yeah.
But was he really?
Yeah, I, um– I think that he was fine with the whole love scene stuff, but, um, it’s just– he’s still feeling pretty guilty about the way he acted at his surprise birthday party.
Mm, it’s understandable. Oh, did I tell you I met Joy, by the way? She seems pretty cool.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Joy’s super nice. I– I like her.
Yeah. I think I kind of freaked her out a little bit, though.
What? What do you mean?
I don’t know. I said something like, “She’s potentially gonna be a thorn in Chanel’s side,” and her reaction was like I meant it in real life.
[laughs]
Even though obviously, of course, I meant, like, her character and your character on the show.
Right. Yeah. On the show.
[dramatic music]
Hey, Johnny. I just met Alex. I heard you directed the first big love scene between him and Chanel, or Faith and Arrow, that is.
[laughs]
Yeah.
It went OK?
Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.
Then what’s wrong? You seem upset.
I– I am. Not– not about what Alex and Chanel just did, about what you and I did, in real life. OK, and Joy, I have to tell my wife the truth.
[sighs]
Hi, Julie.
Chad, there you are. Great. I have some good news for a change.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. We got a surprise guest. It’s JJ Deveraux, and he’s gonna be staying with us for a while.
Great.
Yeah. He was concerned about how we were all doing after the trick that that evil woman tried to pull on us. Thank God I will not have to set eyes on that conniving succubus again.
[sighs]
Yeah. Well, actually–
[dramatic music]
[laughs] You know, Gabi, I could have an officer here in two minutes frothing at the mouth to arrest you for assaulting Salem’s district attorney.
Well, I ought to leave a mark then, don’t you think?
Don’t you dare.
Hey, get your hands off her! Now!
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