Tag: funny

 

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Chloe: Well, would you please say something? I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.

Sally: Okay, fine. Um, Nick has been avoiding me.

Chloe: Okay. Um, that might turn out to be a good thing.

Sally: How in the world is nick avoiding me a good thing?

Chloe: Just let him cool down. You know, give him some time to miss you. The two of you can’t talk through things rationally when he’s all worked up.

Sally: Yeah, but this doesn’t feel like a break or a cooling down period. This feels like the end.

Chloe: No, that’s just because you’re scared, so you’re going to the worst case scenario.

Sally: You weren’t there, Chloe. You didn’t see the look in his eyes or hear the tone in his voice. For Nick, there’s no way forward for us.

Chloe: Yeah, well, I– I refuse to believe that. It– don’t just freak out over something that hasn’t even happened yet.

Sally: Well, I’d say it kind of has happened

**************

Victor: Then, you agree. They’re trying to take me down.

Adam: No, no, no, I– I did not say that. But do I think that she wants her title back? Of course, she wants her title back. And Nate will go along with anything that she says, but why do you think that they’re actively pursuing that?

Victor: I don’t know. I overheard some whisperings, you know. She said that she was very upset about having been demoted by me. And Nate, instead of calming her down, he encouraged her. I’m convinced they’re trying to prove that I am, you know, I’ve lost my marbles. I’m incapacitated.

Adam: Well you– we all make little mistakes, call people by the wrong name, stuff like that.

Victor: Well, what do you think about that?

[ Adam sighing ]

Adam: I– I– I don’t want to say anything that will um, demean Victoria.

Victor: No, no, tell me honestly. What do you think?

Adam: Victoria was furious when you announced that you were gonna come back.

Victor: Yeah.

Adam: So yeah, she’s probably trying to undermine you. She’s probably even planning a coup.

Victor: Okay.

Adam: She’s smart. She’s shrewd, she’s ambitious. Just like Nate. So yes, the two of them teaming up is a real possibility.

---

 

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Tucker: I suppose you think you’ve talked me into backing down.

Mamie: Well, a smart guy like you knows when resistance is futile.

Tucker: [Chuckles] I should just bow out gracefully?

Mamie: You could always just trust me.

Tucker: Yeah. I’m not sure how much I trust this plan with nate. Seems to me it’s just…buying us more trouble than we need.

Mamie: Oh, I thought you were a “trust the universe” kind of person.

Tucker: You’re not the universe.

Mamie: Maybe a little bit of it? As are you.

Tucker: Well, I can at least take comfort in one thing.

Mamie: Oh?

Tucker: It’s a long shot if you think you can lure Nate away from Newman enterprises.

*******************

Victor: Hi, sweetheart.

Nikki: Listen, um… I just saw Nate outside, and he seems suspicious that you’re acting normal.

Victor: Oh, yeah?

Nikki: You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?

Victor: Doing what on purpose?

Nikki: You know what I mean– vacillating between lucidity and confusion. This is some kind of plot you have concocted, isn’t it? Victor, for god’s sake, will you please tell me the truth? I need to know that you’re not losing your mind.

Victor: Baby, I’m not losing my mind, okay?

Nikki: So then you are tricking everyone.

Victor: Let me put it this way… things are beginning to coalesce around me, so…

Nikki: I don’t even know what that means.

Victor: Well, that means that I’m beginning to discover certain patterns amongst my children… and it’s somewhat upsetting.

---

 

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Danny: Great. Thank you.

Phyllis: Hey. You’re not swarming with fans.

[ Danny laughing ] Can I join you? I figure I should shoot my shot while I can.

Danny: I’m not really sure how to answer that one.

Phyllis: Well, I’ll tell you how to answer it. “Sure, Phyllis. I would love for you to join me.”

Danny: Okay. Only because you seem to be in such a good mood.

Phyllis: Oh. I am in an extraordinary mood.

Danny: Even better.

Phyllis: I haven’t felt this upbeat in a really long time.

Danny: Okay. I’m happy to hear it. Uh, what, uh, brought this on?

Phyllis: Oh, gosh. Well, let’s just say that I scraped the last bits of nasty connection off my shoe.

Danny: Do I wanna know who or what that might be?

Phyllis: [ Laughing ] No, you don’t need to know. You don’t need to know. All you need to know is I feel so great. I finally feel optimistic about my future. I haven’t felt that way in a really long time. As long as I can remember

************************

Daniel: So, what do you think?

Lily: Um, I think it’s an apartment downstairs from mine and–

Daniel: And– and I happen to know the owner of the building, one mr. Devon winters.

Lily: Oh, yeah, Devon. He’s the worst.

Daniel: [ Laughing ] Well, you know, he let me know that one of his tenants was gonna be moving out and selling this place and, uh, he thought I might be interested.

Lily: Interested in– in buying it?

Daniel: Mm-hmm.

Lily: An apartment in my building? [ Chuckling ] Well, that’s a little intrusive, don’t you think?

Daniel: Really?

Lily: Yeah. I mean, how would I get away from you? Just day after day and night after night, it would be nothing but this…

Daniel: Can I take that as a yes?

Lily: Please take it as a yes.

Daniel: Oh, I was hoping that you’d like the idea.

Lily: Are you kidding? I love it. I mean, I love this place for you. It’s– it’s perfect. I say go for it.

---

 

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Phyllis: No pithy remark? No snarky comment?

Tucker: What would you like me to say?

Phyllis: Oh, what would I like you to say? I’d like you to say, “Phyllis, you’re a genius. Phyllis, you’ve got me. I surrender. You’re correct.”

[ Phyllis chuckling ]

Tucker: You are entertaining.

[ Phyllis laughing ]

Phyllis: I am. I just uncovered your connection to Mamie Johnson and all you are saying to me is I’m entertaining.

Tucker: Whatever connection I have to Mamie Johnson is personal and private.

Phyllis: So, there’s a connection.

Tucker: It’s none of your business, Phyllis.

Phyllis: Mm, it kind of is, you know? I uncovered that you have some super-secret connection that you didn’t want anyone to know about. I mean, consider me the fly in your ointment.

[ Tucker chuckling ]

Tucker: God, your self-importance is just astounding. As is your ability to conjure something out of nothing.

Phyllis: You think it’s nothing? Oh, okay. I don’t know if Jill and Devon and lily will think it’s nothing. I’m sure they’ll wonder what your motives are for connecting up with Mamie.

Tucker: What is it you think you’ve learned?

*”************

Kyle: Do you really consider Tucker to be that much of a threat against us?

Billy: Yes, of course, tucker’s a threat. He’s ruthless. He’s hurt and he’s angry. He’s got time, money, and the inclination to cause real damage to our family and to our company.

Jack: Selling McCall unlimited to Newman enterprises more than covers his debt. He’s got a serious war chest and he’s itching to use it.

Billy: And he loves to amuse himself. He finds himself entertaining. I mean, putting a listening device in a bonsai tree? Lame.

Jack: Besides, this is just another smoke screen. Just like hacking into Jabot’s finances to set up Billy. He thinks if we’re busy putting out fires, we will be distracted enough that we won’t see what he’s really up to.

Kyle: Yeah, I see the predicament.

---

 

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Phyllis: Okay. Look at this! Having dinner like a normal family. So normal.

Daniel: Just wanted to celebrate your first day at your new job.

Phyllis: Oh, goodness! Great. Ha! You’re paying, right? Because, you know, I’m not making the kind of money I’m used to.

Daniel: I know, I know, but you know, this is all about getting a clean start. Emphasis on the word “clean,” remember?

Phyllis: Yes. Exactly. And I will not let you down.

Daniel: No.

Phyllis: Yeah.

Daniel: That’s all either of us could ask for.

Phyllis: Good

**************

Phyllis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. My immediate superior, she is a embryo, a zygote actually.

Daniel: Kayla is 29 and she has a masters in computer science.

Phyllis: Ooh! Oh wow. A masters. Oh, my goodness. Well, I have a lot to learn from her, don’t I?

Daniel: Mom?

Phyllis: My goodness! She’s a lovely, lovely, young, so very young lady.

Daniel: Mm-hmm.

Phyllis: Yeah. Listen, I– I’m happy to be there. I’m just having fun with you, okay? And I was very productive today, don’t you think?

Daniel: I was told you were on your best behavior.

Phyllis: Yes. And– and like I said, I will not let you down.

Daniel: You know, the, uh, trick is going to be to see if you can continue that team spirit for longer than a day.

Phyllis: Right. Yes. I– I– I do have team spirit. I– I can and I will.

---

 

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Daniel: Lucy would like to know if you could stop and pick up some of those brownies from crimson lights and bring them back on the plane to Lisbon.

Heather: Would she? Uh, it’s going to be morning when I land there?

Daniel: Well, then I guess it’s brownies for breakfast. I’ll tell her you said yes.

Heather: Okay. So, I guess I’ll be doing a brownie run before I head to the airport. But when I get back to Portugal, it shouldn’t take us too long to pack what we need.

Daniel: Well, it might not take you that long. Our daughter on the other hand.

Heather: Yes. Uh, it will be very difficult to convince Lucy she doesn’t need to bring every single book, stuffed animal, every single t-shirt. But I can just ship anything she wants later. You know, once we’re settled here.

***************

Claire: Oh, my god.

Nate: No damage.

Claire: I’m so sorry.

Nate: No damage to your tablet.

Claire: Oh, god. Totally my fault. I need to learn that walking while reading is not considered multitasking.

Nate: That is good advice.

---

 

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Sally: Look, chloe, you are my very good friend. My very busy friend, between your husband and your kids, and your amazing new job at marchetti.

Chloe: I’m not too busy to listen.

Sally: Yeah, but it’s not fair for me to unload my drama on you.

Chloe: Friends don’t unload, sally. They share and that’s what it means to be a friend. You know, you’re here no matter what.

Sally: You’re really not going to like what you’re going to hear.

Chloe: Come on, you’re clearly going through something and I want to help if I can.

[ Sally inhales ]

Sally: Adam kissed me.

Chloe: Oh. Okay. How did that happen?

Sally: [ Chuckles ] Well, it wasn’t supposed to happen. Um, we went to dinner and we had drinks. Too many drinks, and we talked and– and it was good. And then, he walked me to my door and–

Chloe: He kissed you.

[ Chuckles ] Well, that’s Adam. Never a missed opportunity. You didn’t kiss him back, did you?

*******************

Sally: Oh, this reminds me of when I was in like, seventh or eighth grade and I was madly in love with these two really cute boys at the exact same time.

Chloe: Well, we were all really confused as kids.

Sally: Yeah, but I wasn’t confused, I knew that I loved them both.

Chloe: Well, you’re all grown up now.

Sally: Yeah, apparently, when you’re a grown up, you’re supposed to know your heart well enough to know who’s going to make you happy for the long haul and try not to hold on to them both.

Chloe: Listen to your heart. Let it tell you who wins.

[ Sally sighs ]

Sally: No matter the answer?

Chloe: I know the answer. It’s going to tell you that it’s nick. He loves you. And Adam, Adam is just a part of your past, nothing more.

Sally: And what if it doesn’t tell me that? What if it tells me something completely different?

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Diane: Is it too soon to start planning our next wedding reception?

Jack: I don’t know. Do you think people will find it over the top for us to be married three times in as many months?

Diane: Do we care?

Jack: It’s a good point.

Diane: [ Laughing ] No, we should probably be patient. Maybe we can have a big party for our one year anniversary. How does that sound?

Jack: I’m not sure I can wait that long. We may have to just celebrate our love on our own every hour of every day.

Diane: Mm. You’re such a romantic What’s up?

*****************

Danny: Sure.

Phyllis: Are you interested in the bug?

Danny: I want her to be happy. As I want you to be happy.

Phyllis: Oh, my god. Uh, that’s vague. I can’t– wow. I can’t believe this is happening

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Traci: Jack and Diane seem so happy, don’t they, Billy?

Billy: Yeah. No, it was a very lovely ceremony.

Traci: Yeah. And for Kyle to be the one to pronounce them husband and wife is just, I mean, how awesome is that? Billy. Billy!

Billy: What? Yeah.

Traci: Do you figure if you stare at that long enough you’re gonna– you’re gonna be able to tell what’s inside?

Billy: I’m not just staring at it. I mean, are you not curious about what’s inside here?

Traci: No, I don’t care one little bit what sick idea of a wedding gift Tucker McCall has given them. And jack doesn’t care either, which is why he’s told us to ignore it and throw it out. So, what are we waiting for?

******************

Traci: I don’t follow you.

Billy: Well, uh, this wedding gift, whatever this is, could be insight into what tucker’s thinking. Right? I mean, [ Sighs ] He loves to believe that he’s more clever than everyone else. Like a riddle from The Riddler.

Traci: Or it could be just some– something hateful and despicable that he’s aiming at Ashley and the Abbotts specifically.

Billy: Uh-huh.

Traci: Or it could be a blender.

[ Laughs ] Oh, I don’t care. Why are you obsessing about this, Billy? Come on. Let’s just take it to the trash, open up the lid and put it in there.

Billy: Hm. Okay. Fine.

[ Billy exhaling ] To hell with it.

Traci: Oh, Billy, what are you doing?

Billy: No, I’m just satisfying my curiosity.

Traci: Come on, Jack said that–

Billy: I know what Jack said. He said, get rid of it and I will. I just want to see what’s inside first and we’ll start with the card. “May this symbol of harmony, balance, and patience bring those elements to your new life as husband and wife.” That’s very sweet. It rhymes. Okay.

[ Traci sighing ]

Traci: Hm. I guess that’s it, huh?

Billy: Hm.

Traci: No evil dolls or exploding clocks.

[ Traci laughing ] I hope you’re satisfied.

---

 

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Sally: You know, I think the key is to generate word of mouth and get some jobs under my belt before we bring in a marketing team. Get some photos out there, maybe some media content. People love before and after. What do you think about hiring me to design your offices for your new company with Sharon?

Nick: Hundred percent.

Sally: We could feature the empty space and then the concept stage and then the final product. Offer interviews for everyone and it’ll be really good for your company and mine.

Nick: Yep.

Sally: Should I go would you prefer hot pink?

Nick: Yes.

Sally: You’re not actually hearing any of the words I’m saying, are you?

Nick: What do you mean?

Sally: Have you been listening to anything I’ve said?

Nick: Yeah, you were, uh, talking about, um, something pink.

Sally: Nick.

Nick: You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m trying to concentrate, uh, but I can’t stop thinking about something else.

Sally: I bet I can guess. What happened between me and adam? You haven’t been the same since you found out about the kiss.

************************

Adam: Help me out, Victoria. You know this is a double bind for me. If I slack off, I’m an ingrate who thinks this is beneath him. And if I work hard, I’m plotting.

Victoria: That’s about it. Yeah.

Adam: Do– do you know what my dream is?

Victoria: I have no clue. And I’m really not that interested.

Adam: That one day, you will accept what I say to you at face value.

Victoria: Well, I don’t imagine that that day is coming any time soon. You know what they say about dreams? You eventually wake up.

---

 

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Jack: Diane and I would like to thank you all for coming to this celebration of our recent marriage, but before the festivities really begin, we’d like to do something a little special, uh, with the help of our son. I love this woman so much, I wanna marry her all over again. Right here, right now, with all of you as witnesses.

Abby: Oh, yay!

[ Attendees clapping ]

Nikki: Oh, how fun.

********************

Jack: You ready?

Kyle: Oh, I’m a licensed professional of the internet variety. Are you ready?

Jack: You bet.

Diane: All right. Let’s do this.

Kyle: All right. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and all of our family and friends and any wedding crashers to celebrate this couple, my parents, as they renew their vows. That’s your queue.

---

 

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---

Billy: Thank you very much. Well, well, what are you still doing here?

Tucker: Why would I leave?

Billy: I just thought you would have left town by now.

Tucker: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Why?

Billy: Well, uh, I have proof that you and Audra did a disgusting thing. Covered up the evidence for a statutory rapist. That’s not a good look. You also failed miserably when you tried to make it look like I embezzled money from my family company. I paid all that money back to Jabot, by the way.

Tucker: Good boy.

Billy: And I can count on half a hand the amount of people that can actually stand the sight of your face, so i thought you would have took off.

Tucker: You probably forgot that I have a son and a grandson here in town who can stand the sight of me. And– and I’m not about to leave ’em again. And if you’re worried that I’m sticking around to exact revenge on you or the Abbotts or Jabot…

[ Scoffs ] I’m a lot of things, Billy, but I’m not an idiot. You’re holding a bomb over my head. So you win. Congratulations. You’ve pretty much forced me to back off.

Billy: Backing off isn’t the same as abandoning, tucker.

Tucker: Oh, god, forgive me. Abandoned. Is that better?

Billy: Not even a little.

Tucker: Yeah, I don’t know what I could do to prove to you that it’s over for me. That I’m just done with you and the Abbotts and your precious little company.

*****************

Traci: So, the florist has just finished setting up and that is done.

Jack: Thank god you changed that order. By the way, how did you remember that Abby is allergic to lilies?

Traci: Abby is my niece and I am Traci Abbott. It’s what I do. [ Laughs ]

Jack: And I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.

Traci: Well, you will die wondering

 

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Lily: What exactly are your intentions at chancellor-winters?

Jill: Yeah, actually, I’m pretty curious about that myself.

[ Mamie laughs ]

Mamie: Jill, Jill, Jill. Who but you would show up at a private party to which you were not invited? Well, I can’t really say that I’m that surprised, but, oh, how rude.

Jill: You see, it just– it all seemed a little wonky, this secret investor thing the way it played out, so I just had to come and see firsthand if it was indeed you, Mamie, who bought into my company. And if so, why?

Mamie: Well, when this investment opportunity came to my attention, I just couldn’t refuse. Oh, come on, Jill, it’s wonderful, isn’t it? To be able to support a successful business and to reconnect with my family?

***************

Mamie: Jill, why is it that you only see shadows and secrets? I suppose that’s just how your mind thinks. But that’s not how the rest of us live our lives. This is my family that you’re in business with. You see the bottom line. I see love and togetherness. This is just not about you, honey.

Jill: Oh, lord, forgive me, Mamie, but I know who you really are and I find it very hard not to doubt your motives.

Mamie: [ Laughs ] Okay. So, Devon is correct. I didn’t have to make an investment in chancellor-winters in order to spend time with the people that I care about, but why not take advantage of a good business move at the same time?

Jill: Good choice of words. Boy, you really know about taking advantage, don’t you?

Mamie: Oh, no, you don’t wanna go down that road. I sit alongside John Abbott all those years that he was building his business empire. I took good care of the Abbott children.

Jill: You just stood alongside him? Sorry, honey, that wasn’t you.

---

 

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Jack: Mamie, do you know how happy it makes me to see you like this?

Mamie: Like what? Energized? Strong? A woman on top of the world?

Jack: Yeah, that about covers it. You forgot to mention beautiful as ever.

Mamie: Oh, no, I didn’t. I just paused so you could say it.

*******************

Mamie: Okay. I’ll tell you, but only because I remember how you used to pout whenever you thought people were keeping secrets from you.

Jack: Wait. I didn’t pout.

Mamie: Yeah, you keep on telling yourself that. I bought out a private investor and I now have a major stake in chancellor-winters.

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Nick: I highly doubt my brother regretted anything. He took advantage of the fact that I was gone.

Sally: No, no.

Nick: Hey, nick’s out of town. Let me real quick try and seduce sally and see if I can convince her to dump him and get back with me.

Sally: No, nick, that’s not what happened.

Nick: That is exactly what happened. This is how my brother operates. It’s who he is.

Sally: He really did seem to feel bad afterward.

Nick: I highly doubt that. So what? He kissed you, then what?

Sally: What? What– what do you mean?

Nick: What did he say? Did he say anything else? Like uh, that he still loved you or he thought the two of you still belonged together?

****************************

Victor: I assume you’re implying that I should be worried about your sister?

Adam: Yes. I mean, that was– that was quite an act she put on earlier. Suddenly pleasant and rational. No issues at all. I mean, you saw right through that, right?

Victor: You know I’m not worried about anyone. Not your sister, not Nate, not you.

Adam: Well, then you are not looking closely enough.

Victor: I run this damn place. If any problem should raise its ugly head, I’ll excise it.

Adam: Gonna nip it?

Victor: Anyone who is disloyal to me or to Newman enterprises.

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Adam: Good morning, boss. I, uh, took the liberty of ordering you some coffee. Should be out soon.

Nate: Adam, thank you for coming.

Adam: Mm-hmm. Uh, I pride myself on being on time. Early even. And as your new assistant, I await your command.

Nate: Hm, I thought it best we discuss how this is going to work moving forward.

Adam: Sure thing, you’re in charge. Um, now how do you take your coffee? Cream, sugar? And is there a paper that you read first thing in the morning?

Nate: The attitude isn’t necessary. And it’s not gonna work with me.

[ Adam clears throat ] I asked you here because I’d like to set some ground rules and expectations, so there are no misunderstandings later.

Adam: Mm.

[ Adam chuckles ] You must be in heaven.

Nate: I’m not sure what you mean.

Adam: Having this much power over me. It’s thrilling, isn’t it?

*************

Nick: Here’s a thought. Why don’t we just give up all these dreams and plans we have for all these other businesses and just do nothing? Seriously, we just hang out with each other. Live off love and, uh, spoil each other rotten.

Sally: Well, we might wear each other out pretty quickly.

Nick: Are you questioning my stamina?

[ Sally chuckles ]

Sally: Never. Mm-mm. No, I’m just saying that we both have to work. I mean, I don’t think either of us would last more than a week without a sense of purpose.

Nick: So, our connection isn’t purpose enough? Wow. Okay, well, it is for me.

Sally: What has gotten into you?

Nick: I don’t know. I just– I woke up this morning and I was just really, really grateful that I get to wake up next to you. I really missed you.

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Audra: You know, I actually think she was impressed, I stood my ground. She even offered to be my mentor.

Tucker: That’s rich.

Audra: Yes, it is.

Tucker: I’d stay away from that.

Audra: Um, I– I think she meant it.

Tucker: No, she didn’t mean it. What she meant to do was flatter you and therefore, control you. Now, you would do well to maintain a respectable distance from Nikki’s mentorship. The good news, however, is that you wouldn’t have to worry about either pleasing or upsetting her if you are still interested in, uh, changing trains and joining me on the jabot express.

*************************

Audra: You know, I have to hand it to you, Tucker. Only you would actually believe you could take jabot away from the Abbotts and make it sound easy.

Tucker: It’s more than a belief. It’s a certainty.

Audra: Hm. How so, evil genius?

Tucker: Yeah, you mock. I’m serious as a rattlesnake.

Audra: It was a compliment.

Tucker: Ah, thank you. So, I have put in motion a plan to raise suspicion that Billy Abbott has been embezzling from Jabot.

Audra: How did you manage that?

Tucker: Uh, details are boring.

Audra: Jack and Billy aren’t that stupid, okay? They’re gonna know right away that you’re behind this.

Tucker: Good. Let’ em. That’s exactly what I want ’em to think.

---

 

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Billy: Look, Phyllis… I think you’re scared. You owe a lot of money and your usual sources are all dried up, and when your back’s against the wall, you start to get desperate and you make bad choices.

Phyllis: Oh.

Billy: Like getting involved with tucker McCall.

Phyllis: Mm. Wow. Listen to you. All of that from one itty bit of a phone call you overheard. Wow, you should be a fortune teller. I hear there’s a carnival leaving town.

Billy: You haven’t answered my question.

Phyllis: What’s the question?

Billy: You and tucker.

Phyllis: But why would you think I’d be involved with tucker McCall again?

Billy: I’ve seen the two of you together more than a few times. The vibe I get is that the two of you are cooking something up that’s a little south of legal.

Phyllis: Ooh, maybe we’re having an affair.

Billy: You have a better taste than that.

***********************

Phyllis: Uh, yeah, we’re finished here, there’s nothing more to discuss.

Tucker: Not even your daughter?

Phyllis: My daughter has no part in this.

Tucker: Well, in this, that’s right, that’s right. But she is eventually, going to need a job, is she not?

Phyllis: She has a job.

Tucker: What do you mean? Marchetti? Here’s the thing about that. Uh… [ Clears throat ] When I take over jabot, and I will take over jabot, make no mistake, I’m gonna streamline it, I’m gonna get back to basics, you know. The cosmetics and scents and all that crap. I just don’t see a place for fashion.

Phyllis: You’re not gonna do that.

Tucker: Watch me.

Phyllis: I’m gonna warn jack. I’m gonna tell him everything you’ve done.

Tucker: No, you won’t, ’cause you know all the dominoes that would fall if you did. You know your role in this little operation. If I go down, you go down. And considering your recent history with the law, your downfall might be a little more permanent.

Phyllis: Wow. You think you have it all worked out, don’t you?

Tucker: You’re good at the game Phyllis, but I’m better. You watch your step from now on. And I would not make any threats you can’t back up. And by the way, the money I transferred will not include your 20% aggravation fee. You should consider yourself lucky I’m not charging you the same fee, for all the aggravation you’ve caused me.

---

 

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Jack: Mamie, I could not be happier to have you back in town. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?

Mamie: Oh, and deprive myself of the joy that I get from seeing that look of surprise on your face, Jackie? No, no. You have the best reactions of anyone that I know.

Jack: Oh, Mamie

[ Mamie laughs ]

Mamie: And it never gets old. Your father and I used to just have so much fun just watching you open the presents. Either it be on Christmas, on your birthday, just genuine delight. And awe. And now, I get to see that look on your face every time I show up at your door. Oh, I just love it! I love it.

Traci: But if you told us, we could have got your room ready, and we could have planned a– a special dinner party, maybe, um, invited over your grand niece and nephew.

Mamie: No, see, no, that’s exactly why I like to show up unexpectedly. I don’t like all this fuss.

Jack: Mamie.

Mamie: Well, look, I’m so happy that I was able to surprise you. I’m glad that we’ve had this time together, but truth be told, this reunion is not really the only reason why I’m in town.

****************

Adam: Dad, when– when I said I wanna start from the bottom and I wanna earn my way to a higher position, this is not what I had in mind.

Victor: Son, I don’t think you and I agreed that you could choose your own starting point.

Adam: Dad, I– I thought we would be working together. You know, father and son.

Victor: Didn’t you tell me that you wanted to learn the ropes?

Adam: Yeah, not from someone who’s been in business less time than I was in business school.

Victor: This entire rebirth notion is yours. You said you wanted a chance to prove that you could change. You get your chance now.

Adam: It’s another test. That’s what this is?

Victor: Everything is a test. Every minute of every day is a test.

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Adam: Good morning, Jack. Hey, congratulations, by the way. I heard you and Diane got married.

Jack: Well, thank you. I appreciate that. We haven’t had too many well-wishers.

Adam: Well, I wish you both all the best.

Jack: I appreciate that, and I hope you know i want the best for you as well.

Adam: From your tone, I’m guessing you’ve heard the best is not what I’m getting, lately. But yes, you’re– you’re right. Things have been a little rough since I’ve been fired from Newman.

Jack: Yeah, I imagine that was quite a blow.

Adam: But hey, I will survive, right?

Jack: I have no doubt at all. So, thank you for meeting me today.

Adam: Yeah, I– I wasn’t surprised to hear from you. I heard Billy tapped you as chief negotiator.

Jack: No, actually, I wanted to meet with you, to talk about tucker and whatever dirt you might have on him.

Adam: Yeah, ’cause you and i have a better relationship than I have with Billy.

Jack: I would call it less explosive.

Adam: Yeah, that’s true.

Jack: So, tell me, what have you got? I’m interested.

Adam: Well, how interested are you?

Jack: Enough to pay for it. Within reason.

*******************

Jack: We’re both busy men. Who has time for games?

Adam: I agree. You know, Billy was pushing me for a straight answer last time and I shut him down.

Jack: Well, it’s me now. What have you got?

Adam: I’ve been thinking about what I would want in return and to tell you the truth, you or Billy, at the moment, you don’t have anything that benefits me.

Jack: You’re not maybe looking for a little leverage?

Adam: No, in the past I probably would have tried to weasel a job out of this. I mean, I am technically unemployed at the moment.

Jack: I already offered you a job.

Adam: Yeah, that’s true. And if I was gonna make a play for something, I probably would go for Billy’s job, co-CEO.

Jack: The position you had before and walked away from.

Adam: Yes, the irony is not lost on me.

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Adam: Look, I’ve made a big deal about how I wanna live differently, without all the games. I want to get back to the basics. I wanna put in the work that it requires, okay? This is me walking the walk or at least trying to.

Sally: By telling me that you can’t stop thinking about kissing me.

Adam: Right, look, if I had pretended like it didn’t affect me, that wouldn’t fly. All right, you know me too well. It would be an act that you’d see right through. And if I said nothing about it, you would have been worried what’s really going on inside my head.

Sally: I– I– I think you’re overthinking this.

Adam: Look, when I tell people that I’m determined to live in a more authentic way, everybody gets suspicious or they just immediately dismiss the idea, or they laugh. Okay? Nobody believes it.

Sally: Since when do you care what other people think?

Adam: See, that is the point. If I’m really gonna make this change, I have to stay on track and I have to ignore those reactions. Like the one you just had.

Sally: I didn’t laugh or dismiss you.

Adam: Yeah, you kinda did. You assumed that I was putting on a front instead of just telling you the simple truth. I loved kissing you again and how it felt. It reminded me how good we are together. And for a moment there, I thought you may have been reminded as well.

*******************

Billy: You know, Jack, I think you’re right. I don’t think things are working out for me here at Jabot. I should take my energy somewhere else.

Jack: You would not be that petty.

Billy: Tell that to the aggrieved, competitive little brother.

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Audra: Well, I’ve never been interested in what’s easy. I want you to stay at Newman media, you know, but it would have to be in a demoted role. I mean, that’s better than getting fired, right?

Kyle: Sweet, but you don’t need to be worried about me right now. You need to focus on keeping your position, which means we have to stop seeing each other and Nikki needs to know we have.

Audra: She just needs to think we have, which, you know, begs a very important question.

Kyle: Hm.

Audra: Do you think we can pull off a secret affair? One where no one, especially Nikki, you know, would ever suspect is going on? The right age for

Kyle: I have no doubt we could pull it off.

Audra: Yeah?

Kyle: But why risk it? You have too much to lose.

Audra: Well, not if no one ever knows.

Kyle: Hmm.

Audra: And also why does Nikki get to decide who we can and cannot be with, like–

Kyle: When we know exactly what we want.

Audra: Exactly. We just have to be very discreet.

Kyle: Absolutely.

Audra: And, you know, I– I just– I don’t want to lose this.

Kyle: All work and no play.

Audra: Ugh. Can you imagine?

Kyle: Mm-mm.

Audra: The prospect would be way too cruel.

**********************

Adam: You’re wrong, Sharon. I know what I want. It’s just that all the things I ever wanted had been taken away from me.

Sharon: Do you really believe that?

Adam: My own mistakes, sometimes. I– I will admit that. But that does not change the fact that loss has been the defining factor in my life.

Sharon: Okay. You’re slipping into your martyrdom again.

Adam: Listen, of– of course. I– I’ve never really gotten the respect of my father. Not– not on any deep level, so I can’t say that was taken away from me. And the rest of the Newmans, they’ve never seen me as one of their own, so that wasn’t taken away from me. But my mom, Cliff, the man who raised me, they’re gone way too soon. Connor’s gone, now that Chelsea took him. I lost you. I– I lost my daughter and now sally’s gone. I mean, even you have to admit, that is a lot.

Sharon: Did you really love her?

Adam: [Indistinct], Sharon, it doesn’t matter anymore, okay? It’s in the past. Sally’s out of my life for good. Besides, you won’t let me wallow for too long. I have to focus on my own evolution, changing myself.

[ Adam sighs ] So, what do you say? Will you help me, Sharon?

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Adam: Oh, yes, I should have known that I would be hearing from you about the intel I have on Tucker. I heard that he’s back from, uh, Paris without Ashley. What’s that about?

Billy: Not quite sure yet. Word on the street is things between them disintegrated, both personally and professionally.

Adam: Hm. That’s pretty quick, even for Tucker’s standards. So, if it’s true, it sounds like a really pissed off megalomaniac, which means he’s probably back for revenge.

Billy: Yeah, that’s the theory.

Adam: Mm-hmm. Well, there’s no wonder you need something to stop him in his tracks then. Well, Billy, I guess I would ask you the same question that I asked you last time we talked about this. What are you proposing to offer me in return?

Billy: Well, I guess I would give you the same answer until or unless I have an idea of what this information you claim to have on Tucker is or how damaging it is to him. I can’t possibly know what it’s worth.

 

*****************

Audra:  What’s with this edge I’m hearing in your voice? Okay, I’ve heard you direct that at other people, but never at me, and frankly, I don’t appreciate it.

[ Kyle chuckles ]

Kyle: I’m surprised, that’s all.

Audra: At what?

Kyle: At how quickly you were able to turn off your feelings. We went from your hotel suite to distant acquaintances in the blink of an eye.

Audra: Hm, well, I mean, you talk like we had some sort of storybook romance.

Kyle: I thought it meant something.

Audra: Yes, it did. Two consenting adults who were attracted to each other. You know, we had fun. The sex was great. And now, we move on with our lives.

Kyle: I see.

Audra: Don’t look so wounded. Your pride might have taken a hit, but your heart, it’s just fine. Look, we both know the truth here. You’re not the love of my life and I’m not the love of yours. That would be Summer.

Kyle: Okay, how many times do I have to say it? It is over between me and Summer. There’s no hope of us finding our way back to each other.

Audra: Well, if that’s true, you know, which I doubt, I’m very sorry for you.

Kyle: Don’t be.

Audra: Look, Kyle. Look, I know that this, okay, was just about you trying to forget how much Summer means to you. But if you dig deep, and take a long, hard, honest look, I think you’ll discover that you miss her and you still love her much more than you’re willing to admit

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Victoria: Dad, that is so unfair.

Victor: Really? I think the results speak for themselves.

[ Victoria sighing ]

Victoria: Well, here’s another thought.

Victor: What?

Victoria: You took charge because you can’t stand not being in control and I was set up to fail. I blame myself for not seeing this coming from the start.

Victor: I’m sad to say you don’t see a lot of things.

Victoria: Well, then please, daddy, please. Enlighten me, because I’m– I’m always here to learn.

Victor: When I handed over the company to you and your brothers, I was hoping that you would create a united front, a united powerhouse. That didn’t happen, did it? Now, I have to step in and clean things up! Run the damn company again! Otherwise, you and your brother would be at each other’s throat! And Nikolas would leave the company once again!

Victoria: He’s already done that, dad. And it’s all your fault, not mine. Not even Adam’s. It’s all on you

**********************

Victor: You damn well know. You more than anyone else should know a company of this size is not run by consensus. It’s run by one person. And that person is me from now on.

Victoria: Then why even bother to keep me around? Or Nikolas, for that matter?

Victor: I don’t want to argue about this. It’s how it is, period!

Victoria: Not in my opinion.

Victor: Your opinion is irrelevant.

Victoria: Oh, thank you, daddy. You just proved my point.

Victor: Newman Enterprises is bigger than you or your damn feelings! You either accept this or you can leave.

Victoria: I disagree with you and you just want to throw me out of your kingdom.

Victor: That’s your choice.

Victoria: You know what, dad? If I left, everything would fall apart. Everything.

Victor: What the hell do you mean by that? What do you mean by that?

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Billy: The only thing that creeps me out more than hearing his smart ass threats is not hearing his smart ass threats. It’s like we’re sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Jack: Well, he’s Tucker McCall, so it’s waiting for the other live grenade.

Billy: Exactly, which means we gotta make a move, Jack. ASAP.

Jack: Agreed.

****************

Diane: Well, I thought maybe you had a coffee date. I’m just trying to make polite conversation.

Phyllis: We just tolerate each other, okay? Let’s not pretend there’s anything else besides that. It really just gets on my nerves. Unless that’s what you’re trying to do, is get on my nerves, in which case, you have succeeded.

Diane: What I’m trying to do is establish some sort of civility between the two of us for Kyle and summer’s sake. I assume you’re as interested as I am in trying to get them back together since you’re the reason they’re headed for a divorce in the first place.

[ Phyllis clearing her throat ]

Phyllis: I think we’re both to blame for that.

Diane: Mm, I don’t think so. You know, I’m not the one who put summer in the position of having to lie to Kyle over and over and over again.

Phyllis: And, by the way, I just found out about this. Your son wasted, I don’t know, three minutes on thinking about what he should do before he jumped into bed with that Audra girl.

Diane: Oh, right, right. And the thought of meaningless sex as an escape from emotional pain is offensive to your deeply engrained moral standards?

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