Tag: funny

 

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Victoria: If I had had the chance to explain that to Nate, I think he would would have understood, but he won’t return any of my calls. He won’t answer any of my texts.

Nick: Sorry, Vic.

Victoria: Are you being sarcastic right now?

Nick: No, I’m definitely not sorry that Nate is gone from Newman enterprises. I do think he was setting in motion to get dad out of the company. But I am sorry that you’re hurting.

Victoria: Thank you. So, do you believe that Nate was being self-serving about this plan that he had for dad?

*******************************************

Victoria: Do you know when you first told me that dad was faking his illness to set a trap? I couldn’t believe it.

Nick: That he’d do something like that? Come on. You know better than that.

Victoria: No, not that– that he would think I was a threat or somebody that would be disloyal to him in that way.

Nick: Somebody like Adam?

Victoria: That is not a club I want to join anytime soon.

Nick: Which I said to dad like a dozen times, but he just kept referring back to how angry you were when you got demoted that he had stepped back in as CEO.

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Phyllis: Not surprised I ran into you again. Big, little town, right?

Danny: [ Chuckles ] Yeah.

Phyllis: I know you love this time of year. It’s so beautiful out and crisp and cool. And that magical thing that the light does at a certain time of day.

Danny: It’s, uh– it’s nice.

Phyllis: It is nice. I got two words out of you.

Danny: Oh, it’s, um– I mean, you know–

Phyllis: Shh, shh. Yeah, I know. The bug comes back into town and suddenly, I’m the pariah, right?

******************************************

Nate: I’m fired?

Victor: You’re damn right.

Victoria: For what?

Nick: Dad–

Victor: You had it all planned, Nate, didn’t you, hm? Send me to some looney bin surrounded by doctors who didn’t give a damn about my health, just to keep me away from here, right?

Nate: Victor, if you believe that’s true, then, we still have a problem.

Victor: I have all the proof right here. I talked to the head of that looney bin. He gave me a full report.

Nate: Victor, I was protecting your privacy. Of course, I had to arrange things in advance. There needed to be ndas, precautions.

Victor: You are lying now and you were lying then.

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Adam: I know that you will never believe that I could put genuine concern for our father above everything else.

Nick: Never really given me any reason to believe that.

Adam: Really? I’ve never done anything for this family? For your family? Like, donate a kidney to your daughter.

Nick: Yes, Adam. I remember that.

Adam: Yeah, and as far as Victor is concerned, I took a bullet for him. But the world seems to forget about that, too.

Nick: It was a long time ago.

Adam: I’ll tell that to my scar. Okay, you can think what you want, Nick, but I’m concerned about our father. He’s a judgmental, withholding, egomaniac and the thought of him slipping away like this? No, I’m not gonna let that happen without a fight.

****************************

Sharon: You girls have been so brave through this whole process. You have been warriors for your daughter. I can understand you feeling nervous and afraid, but don’t forget to let yourself feel the hope and optimism too. I mean, it’s perfectly natural that you would be going through a range of emotions, but let’s just tackle the specifics. What are you really worried about?

Tessa: I mean, uh, what if Aria doesn’t like the hearing aids? It’s not like we can explain it to her.

Sharon: Well, she might not like them. That’s true. But she’ll get used to them, just like with a sippy cup. Remember? It was only bottles for a while and now she does both.

Mariah: Yeah, that’s true. It’s just, she might grow up feeling different, and that’s so hard.

Sharon: It is. But you’re gonna do everything you can to make her feel less different. And you know what I found online?

Tessa: What?

Sharon: Baby dolls with hearing aids.

[ All laughing ]

Tessa: Oh, God. That’s brilliant. Of course.

Mariah: Yeah.

Sharon: See? There are lots of kids and parents in the same situation as you all.

Mariah: Yeah. No. I know. Of course, we know that.

Sharon: Find that community for Aria and for yourself. There are so many, many amazing success stories to be inspired by. You’ll find the encouragement and the support you need there. You can take this journey with others who are in the same situation that you are in. And you know what? You’re gonna do whatever you have to do to make Aria feel more comfortable, whatever the situation.”.

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Billy: We’re gonna talk directly, Kyle. Because jack has been playing the go-between for a while now and I don’t think it’s fair.

Kyle: Well, you seem agitated. What exactly are you accusing me of?

Billy: Coming after my job? You made it clear to Jack that you won’t return to jabot unless it’s in the co-CEO position.

Kyle: Yeah, that– that’s right. I have. I’m guessing you don’t think I deserve it.

Billy: Whether you deserve it or not is irrelevant.

Kyle: Why is that?

Billy: Because it’s my job. I am the co-CEO of Jabot. Jack trusts me and I am loyal to him and to the company that my father built. And I’m doing a damn good job and I’m not going anywhere.

************************

Tucker: Yeah, I figured it was the best thing. We were married all of five minutes.

Ashley: True. Boy, did we have some fun in those five minutes? Didn’t we not have fun in those five minutes? Anyway, I know I’ve said it before, but I am sorry for my part in how this all didn’t work out for us and, uh, it just seems like such a waste that we have to act like strangers now, Tucker.

Tucker: Do you want to be friends now?

Ashley: Oh, I don’t know. We, you know– can’t we be two people that have been through a lot of stuff together and then maybe there can be some kind of commonality? I don’t know.

Tucker: I don’t see that happening.

Ashley: Okay. Well, then maybe we can be two people that can be in the same room with each other without causing each other pain. I mean, we do share a grandchild, remember?

Tucker: I don’t trust you anymore. I don’t trust your motives anymore.

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Christine: My marriage is none of your business.

Phyllis: Um… it’s just been a while since you’ve been single, you know, and I thought maybe you could use some dating tips or something.

Christine: Oh, right. Yeah. Wait, are you serious? From you? Your latest romantic partner was a known felon who ended up dead. No, I don’t think I’m gonna be coming to you for advice.

***************Christine: We’re not friends, so we are definitely not gonna talk about my personal life.

Phyllis: Well, I feel like I am being a friend to you and to Danny’s when I tell you, you just shouldn’t chase after him again.

Christine: Chase after him? Okay, first of all, that’s your thing, not mine. And second, unlike you and me, Danny and I are actual friends. And Daniel is my godson and we’ve always been close. I’ve heard that you’ve been hanging out with Danny. And maybe you should take your own advice and not fool yourself into thinking that something will come of that. Right now, your number one priority should be getting your miserable life back on track.

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Mariah: Thank you. I needed to hear that. Well, what about you? How is the job search going?

Kyle: Oh. Uh, refresh my memory. Um, what exactly is a job?

Mariah: Oh, please tell me you’re at least looking.

Kyle: Why? I’m rather enjoying the easy life.

Mariah: Yeah, because you always struck me as a man of leisure.

Kyle: Well, I’m learning how to make sourdough from mrs. Martinez.

Mariah: Of course, you are.

[ Kyle laughing ]

Kyle: No, no. Um, but I am having fun.

**********************

Billy: Look at you. You’re here.

Chelsea: I’m back, baby.

Billy: Thank god.

Chelsea: That was the welcome home I was waiting for.

Billy: It’s damn good to see you.

Chelsea: Did you miss me?

Billy: Every day. And why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?

Chelsea: I wanted to surprise you. Be a little mysterious. Did it work?

Billy: Am I smiling?

Chelsea: Your face. It’s not the same as video chats.

Billy: No, it’s not the same like this.

Chelsea: Well, full disclosure, I’m also here for a little bit of work. I have a Marchetti meeting to discuss the spring collection.

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Ashley: Mm. I have so much respect for you. You’re so good at that. You’re so good at balancing your work life and your home life. I mean, I’m just not good at it, Mamie.

Mamie: You know, I didn’t know that much about tucker McCall, other than that he was Katherine chancellor’s son. I know that jack didn’t like him very much. I just never understood why.

Ashley: Well, Jack’s just being Jack and protective of me and Jabot, and I’m not sure in what order.

Mamie: Oh, now, now. Jack adores you.

Ashley: Oh, I know. I like him, too, most of the time.

******************

Kyle: Tucker. Tucker. Tucker. You’re making a big mistake.

Tucker: It’s not a mistake, son. It’s self-preservation, pure and simple.

Kyle: First of all, I’m not your son. And second, if you believe I have any professional allegiance to my father, then you haven’t been listening. He hasn’t shown me any, so why would I be loyal to him?

Tucker: Because he’s your father, and he’s given you everything you have, and I’m not sure I believe that you’d be willing to just blow that up when the time comes.

Kyle: Watch me light a match

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Ashley: Please don’t. I can’t take the small talk.

Tucker: Okay. Well, you have rejected every effort I’ve made to reconnect and talk things out so far, so I assume you must have something very pertinent and, uh, important on your mind.

Ashley: I think it’s important, yeah.

Tucker: Well, don’t tell me, let me guess. You’d like to know what nefarious scheme I have plotted against your family, right? I can clear that up for you right now. None. And I made that clear to jack as well.

Ashley: Okay.

Tucker: Okay.

Ashley: I hope it’s true.

Tucker: So, are you here to try to chase me out of town? Jack and Billy already tried and failed. Pathetically, I might add.

Ashley: Um, why don’t you just shut up and I’ll tell you why I’m here tucker.

Tucker: Oh, yes, ma’am.

********************

Tucker: Yeah, I wish I could believe your apology, but unfortunately, I don’T.

Ashley: I didn’t think it was gonna be easy.

Tucker: That’s the problem. It seems a little too easy. You want some coffee?

Ashley: Sure. I’d love a cup.

Tucker: Because, uh, I texted you recently and I asked you if there was any way back from where we are and you responded with a very emphatic no. So, what happened? Did you have some kind of change of heart over boston or cincinnati on the flight home?

Ashley: Not really a change of heart. Maybe I just started listening to my heart.

Tucker: Oh, yeah. Wouldn’t that be peachy? Except I see right through you, Ashley. You’re hoping I will let my guard down.

Ashley: Yeah, well, jack said you were gonna react like this.

Tucker: Jack said? Ha. Oh, you gotta love the irony.

Ashley: Yeah. Actually, I don’t love anything about this. Not even a little bit. It’s a struggle.

Tucker: Okay. Well, just for kicks, let’s pretend I did believe your apology. What would this I’m sorry of yours actually look like?

---

 

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Nikki: Your father seems to think someone is scheming against him and they’re going to betray him soon and this is his idea of how to trick them into revealing themselves.

Victoria: Me though? He suspects me? I mean, how could he think I would stoop so low to use his mental struggles against him? Just because he demoted me? I mean, does he think that little of me, mom?

Nikki: No, of course not. He adores you. He adores both of you. Never doubt that.

Victoria: Well, then I just don’t understand.

Nikki: Well, personally, I think this is all Adam’s fault. After years of being double-crossed by his own son, victor now wonders if he can trust anybody he’s close to.

Victoria: That might be true, but it’s not an excuse. And I’m not sure that I can forgive him.

*****************

Nick: You know what, it doesn’t really matter how we handle the situation. The bottom line is when you find out someone you love is faking a decline in order to expose a traitor, it’s not an everyday occurrence. I think we all reacted accordingly.

Nikki: True.

Nick: So let’s not dwell on the previous rotten weeks. What is important is what we do going forward.

Nikki: If we could only figure out what that is.

Victoria: Actually, Nick has an idea that might help move things along.

Nikki: Oh, I’d love to hear it

Nick: Simple. We just go along with it. We act like we’re buying dad’s condition, while dad continues to set his trap. Hopefully, Adam walks right into it.

Nikki: Or Nate.

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Sally: No, don’t get me wrong. I was right there too. I just– it would be very easy to just blame it all on you, but the truth is you were just being honest with me about where your heart is. It’s just not what I wanted to hear.

Adam: Well, it wouldn’t be the first time that I, uh, I didn’t read the room.

Sally: I think the kiss confused us both.

Adam: Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. Maybe it was just me doing what I always do. Bulldozing my way through without any regard whatsoever for what you really wanted, which was nick. You know, you had a right to be resistant. I poison whatever it is I touch.

Sally: Adam.

Adam: No, it’s– it’s the truth. You know, sometimes I think that I’m just cursed to be this– this catalyst of bad fortune. And it’s not that I try to be, but sometimes I just always end up in the middle of it. With my career, my relationship, family. Even when I have good intentions and god knows I have not always had them, I just always manage to screw it up. With you, my father.

******************

Adam: You know, you’re really good at this.

Sally: What?

Adam: Pep talks. I’m sure when you get your new company off the ground, you’re gonna be an inspiring boss.

Sally: Thank you.

Adam: Mm-hmm. I know that you inspire me.

Sally: So, are you gonna do it?

Adam: You’re forgetting one thing, big thing, in between me and Nick.

Sally: No, I’m definitely not forgetting it. And I do know that I am part of the conflict between the two of you, but this is way bigger than that too. And Nick will eventually see that if you tell him what you just told me.

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Ashley: I bet you’re happy to see me, right?

Diane: Yeah. You know, we’re never going to be besties, but we are family. So peace for Jack’s sake?

Ashley: Absolutely. You saved my life.

Diane: Oh, there is that.

Ashley: So, I will try very hard not to hate you.

Diane: Well, I will try hard not to hate you back.

Ashley: Great. How’s everybody, anyway?

Diane: Um, uh, well, Kyle left this morning. I haven’t seen him. Traci, I think she had dinner plans, and, oh, my grandson is upstairs getting ready for his bath.

Ashley: Oh, my grandson. I have to see Dominic tomorrow. Absolutely.

Diane: Ashley.

Ashley: Yeah.

Diane: Um, hey, I’m– I’m sorry about the way your marriage turned out. I mean, I– I– I don’t know your side of things directly, of course, but, um, there is no doubt in my mind that tucker is to blame for whatever happened.

Ashley: Yeah. You know what? It’s okay. We don’t really have to dwell on that, okay?

*************************

Jack: When I realized you were listening in, I was tempted to beat you at your own game.

Tucker: All right.

Jack: Yes. Some fake conversations, send you charging off in the wrong direction. The entertainment value was hard to pass up.

Tucker: But you did, pass it up.

Jack: Well, I realized I didn’t want to stoop to your level.

Tucker: There’s good old Jack, righteous as ever.

Jack: I don’t need to stoop to your level. See, I have no doubt in my mind, the Abbotts will always have the upper hand where you’re concerned, so whatever it is you’re really up to here, whatever it is you want to accomplish, I have some advice. Give it up. Go away, back to your monastery or your mountain top. Anywhere but here.

Tucker: No, I like being close to my son and my grandson. Besides, running away is really not my style. It sounds like more of an Abbott trait.

---

 

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Adam: You know, why does it feel like I just got caught sneaking into my parents’ liquor cabinet.

Nate: I don’t know, Adam. Have you been caught? What are you doing in here?

Adam: Why do you care?

Nate: Oh, that you’re sneaking around victor’s office, sitting in his chair like you own the place. Why would that concern me, Adam?

Adam: Look, I just was–

Nate: Fantasizing what it would be like, huh?

Adam: Um, I don’t need to fantasize since I’ve actually run this company.

Nate: But right now, you work for me. You know I’m gonna have to tell Victor, right?

Adam: And that would be fine. But okay, I admit it, technically, I should have run this by you first. I’m supposed to report to you and I shouldn’t be taking orders from anybody else in the company, but he is, you know, my dad

***********************

Adam: Nick. Look, I realize that I’m the last person that you want to deal with right now.

Nick: Way to read the room.

Adam: Listen, wait, wait. Can we please just put everything else aside for a minute and talk about dad? Because I’m really concerned something’s wrong with him.

Nick: You know, the first time Vic brought this up, that she thought that dad was acting confused, I didn’t pay much attention to it. I just thought that she was exaggerating because she was bitter that dad demoted her.

Adam: Okay. Well then, what changed?

Nick: Dad’s the smartest person in every room, you know? He’s always three steps ahead.

Adam: Yeah, and yet, he’s done some questionable things lately that things that the smartest man in the room would not do.

Nick: But wouldn’t it be just like dad to do something like this as part of a grand plan?

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Chloe: Well, would you please say something? I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.

Sally: Okay, fine. Um, Nick has been avoiding me.

Chloe: Okay. Um, that might turn out to be a good thing.

Sally: How in the world is nick avoiding me a good thing?

Chloe: Just let him cool down. You know, give him some time to miss you. The two of you can’t talk through things rationally when he’s all worked up.

Sally: Yeah, but this doesn’t feel like a break or a cooling down period. This feels like the end.

Chloe: No, that’s just because you’re scared, so you’re going to the worst case scenario.

Sally: You weren’t there, Chloe. You didn’t see the look in his eyes or hear the tone in his voice. For Nick, there’s no way forward for us.

Chloe: Yeah, well, I– I refuse to believe that. It– don’t just freak out over something that hasn’t even happened yet.

Sally: Well, I’d say it kind of has happened

**************

Victor: Then, you agree. They’re trying to take me down.

Adam: No, no, no, I– I did not say that. But do I think that she wants her title back? Of course, she wants her title back. And Nate will go along with anything that she says, but why do you think that they’re actively pursuing that?

Victor: I don’t know. I overheard some whisperings, you know. She said that she was very upset about having been demoted by me. And Nate, instead of calming her down, he encouraged her. I’m convinced they’re trying to prove that I am, you know, I’ve lost my marbles. I’m incapacitated.

Adam: Well you– we all make little mistakes, call people by the wrong name, stuff like that.

Victor: Well, what do you think about that?

[ Adam sighing ]

Adam: I– I– I don’t want to say anything that will um, demean Victoria.

Victor: No, no, tell me honestly. What do you think?

Adam: Victoria was furious when you announced that you were gonna come back.

Victor: Yeah.

Adam: So yeah, she’s probably trying to undermine you. She’s probably even planning a coup.

Victor: Okay.

Adam: She’s smart. She’s shrewd, she’s ambitious. Just like Nate. So yes, the two of them teaming up is a real possibility.

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Tucker: I suppose you think you’ve talked me into backing down.

Mamie: Well, a smart guy like you knows when resistance is futile.

Tucker: [Chuckles] I should just bow out gracefully?

Mamie: You could always just trust me.

Tucker: Yeah. I’m not sure how much I trust this plan with nate. Seems to me it’s just…buying us more trouble than we need.

Mamie: Oh, I thought you were a “trust the universe” kind of person.

Tucker: You’re not the universe.

Mamie: Maybe a little bit of it? As are you.

Tucker: Well, I can at least take comfort in one thing.

Mamie: Oh?

Tucker: It’s a long shot if you think you can lure Nate away from Newman enterprises.

*******************

Victor: Hi, sweetheart.

Nikki: Listen, um… I just saw Nate outside, and he seems suspicious that you’re acting normal.

Victor: Oh, yeah?

Nikki: You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?

Victor: Doing what on purpose?

Nikki: You know what I mean– vacillating between lucidity and confusion. This is some kind of plot you have concocted, isn’t it? Victor, for god’s sake, will you please tell me the truth? I need to know that you’re not losing your mind.

Victor: Baby, I’m not losing my mind, okay?

Nikki: So then you are tricking everyone.

Victor: Let me put it this way… things are beginning to coalesce around me, so…

Nikki: I don’t even know what that means.

Victor: Well, that means that I’m beginning to discover certain patterns amongst my children… and it’s somewhat upsetting.

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Danny: Great. Thank you.

Phyllis: Hey. You’re not swarming with fans.

[ Danny laughing ] Can I join you? I figure I should shoot my shot while I can.

Danny: I’m not really sure how to answer that one.

Phyllis: Well, I’ll tell you how to answer it. “Sure, Phyllis. I would love for you to join me.”

Danny: Okay. Only because you seem to be in such a good mood.

Phyllis: Oh. I am in an extraordinary mood.

Danny: Even better.

Phyllis: I haven’t felt this upbeat in a really long time.

Danny: Okay. I’m happy to hear it. Uh, what, uh, brought this on?

Phyllis: Oh, gosh. Well, let’s just say that I scraped the last bits of nasty connection off my shoe.

Danny: Do I wanna know who or what that might be?

Phyllis: [ Laughing ] No, you don’t need to know. You don’t need to know. All you need to know is I feel so great. I finally feel optimistic about my future. I haven’t felt that way in a really long time. As long as I can remember

************************

Daniel: So, what do you think?

Lily: Um, I think it’s an apartment downstairs from mine and–

Daniel: And– and I happen to know the owner of the building, one mr. Devon winters.

Lily: Oh, yeah, Devon. He’s the worst.

Daniel: [ Laughing ] Well, you know, he let me know that one of his tenants was gonna be moving out and selling this place and, uh, he thought I might be interested.

Lily: Interested in– in buying it?

Daniel: Mm-hmm.

Lily: An apartment in my building? [ Chuckling ] Well, that’s a little intrusive, don’t you think?

Daniel: Really?

Lily: Yeah. I mean, how would I get away from you? Just day after day and night after night, it would be nothing but this…

Daniel: Can I take that as a yes?

Lily: Please take it as a yes.

Daniel: Oh, I was hoping that you’d like the idea.

Lily: Are you kidding? I love it. I mean, I love this place for you. It’s– it’s perfect. I say go for it.

---

 

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Phyllis: No pithy remark? No snarky comment?

Tucker: What would you like me to say?

Phyllis: Oh, what would I like you to say? I’d like you to say, “Phyllis, you’re a genius. Phyllis, you’ve got me. I surrender. You’re correct.”

[ Phyllis chuckling ]

Tucker: You are entertaining.

[ Phyllis laughing ]

Phyllis: I am. I just uncovered your connection to Mamie Johnson and all you are saying to me is I’m entertaining.

Tucker: Whatever connection I have to Mamie Johnson is personal and private.

Phyllis: So, there’s a connection.

Tucker: It’s none of your business, Phyllis.

Phyllis: Mm, it kind of is, you know? I uncovered that you have some super-secret connection that you didn’t want anyone to know about. I mean, consider me the fly in your ointment.

[ Tucker chuckling ]

Tucker: God, your self-importance is just astounding. As is your ability to conjure something out of nothing.

Phyllis: You think it’s nothing? Oh, okay. I don’t know if Jill and Devon and lily will think it’s nothing. I’m sure they’ll wonder what your motives are for connecting up with Mamie.

Tucker: What is it you think you’ve learned?

*”************

Kyle: Do you really consider Tucker to be that much of a threat against us?

Billy: Yes, of course, tucker’s a threat. He’s ruthless. He’s hurt and he’s angry. He’s got time, money, and the inclination to cause real damage to our family and to our company.

Jack: Selling McCall unlimited to Newman enterprises more than covers his debt. He’s got a serious war chest and he’s itching to use it.

Billy: And he loves to amuse himself. He finds himself entertaining. I mean, putting a listening device in a bonsai tree? Lame.

Jack: Besides, this is just another smoke screen. Just like hacking into Jabot’s finances to set up Billy. He thinks if we’re busy putting out fires, we will be distracted enough that we won’t see what he’s really up to.

Kyle: Yeah, I see the predicament.

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Phyllis: Okay. Look at this! Having dinner like a normal family. So normal.

Daniel: Just wanted to celebrate your first day at your new job.

Phyllis: Oh, goodness! Great. Ha! You’re paying, right? Because, you know, I’m not making the kind of money I’m used to.

Daniel: I know, I know, but you know, this is all about getting a clean start. Emphasis on the word “clean,” remember?

Phyllis: Yes. Exactly. And I will not let you down.

Daniel: No.

Phyllis: Yeah.

Daniel: That’s all either of us could ask for.

Phyllis: Good

**************

Phyllis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. My immediate superior, she is a embryo, a zygote actually.

Daniel: Kayla is 29 and she has a masters in computer science.

Phyllis: Ooh! Oh wow. A masters. Oh, my goodness. Well, I have a lot to learn from her, don’t I?

Daniel: Mom?

Phyllis: My goodness! She’s a lovely, lovely, young, so very young lady.

Daniel: Mm-hmm.

Phyllis: Yeah. Listen, I– I’m happy to be there. I’m just having fun with you, okay? And I was very productive today, don’t you think?

Daniel: I was told you were on your best behavior.

Phyllis: Yes. And– and like I said, I will not let you down.

Daniel: You know, the, uh, trick is going to be to see if you can continue that team spirit for longer than a day.

Phyllis: Right. Yes. I– I– I do have team spirit. I– I can and I will.

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Daniel: Lucy would like to know if you could stop and pick up some of those brownies from crimson lights and bring them back on the plane to Lisbon.

Heather: Would she? Uh, it’s going to be morning when I land there?

Daniel: Well, then I guess it’s brownies for breakfast. I’ll tell her you said yes.

Heather: Okay. So, I guess I’ll be doing a brownie run before I head to the airport. But when I get back to Portugal, it shouldn’t take us too long to pack what we need.

Daniel: Well, it might not take you that long. Our daughter on the other hand.

Heather: Yes. Uh, it will be very difficult to convince Lucy she doesn’t need to bring every single book, stuffed animal, every single t-shirt. But I can just ship anything she wants later. You know, once we’re settled here.

***************

Claire: Oh, my god.

Nate: No damage.

Claire: I’m so sorry.

Nate: No damage to your tablet.

Claire: Oh, god. Totally my fault. I need to learn that walking while reading is not considered multitasking.

Nate: That is good advice.

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Sally: Look, chloe, you are my very good friend. My very busy friend, between your husband and your kids, and your amazing new job at marchetti.

Chloe: I’m not too busy to listen.

Sally: Yeah, but it’s not fair for me to unload my drama on you.

Chloe: Friends don’t unload, sally. They share and that’s what it means to be a friend. You know, you’re here no matter what.

Sally: You’re really not going to like what you’re going to hear.

Chloe: Come on, you’re clearly going through something and I want to help if I can.

[ Sally inhales ]

Sally: Adam kissed me.

Chloe: Oh. Okay. How did that happen?

Sally: [ Chuckles ] Well, it wasn’t supposed to happen. Um, we went to dinner and we had drinks. Too many drinks, and we talked and– and it was good. And then, he walked me to my door and–

Chloe: He kissed you.

[ Chuckles ] Well, that’s Adam. Never a missed opportunity. You didn’t kiss him back, did you?

*******************

Sally: Oh, this reminds me of when I was in like, seventh or eighth grade and I was madly in love with these two really cute boys at the exact same time.

Chloe: Well, we were all really confused as kids.

Sally: Yeah, but I wasn’t confused, I knew that I loved them both.

Chloe: Well, you’re all grown up now.

Sally: Yeah, apparently, when you’re a grown up, you’re supposed to know your heart well enough to know who’s going to make you happy for the long haul and try not to hold on to them both.

Chloe: Listen to your heart. Let it tell you who wins.

[ Sally sighs ]

Sally: No matter the answer?

Chloe: I know the answer. It’s going to tell you that it’s nick. He loves you. And Adam, Adam is just a part of your past, nothing more.

Sally: And what if it doesn’t tell me that? What if it tells me something completely different?

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Diane: Is it too soon to start planning our next wedding reception?

Jack: I don’t know. Do you think people will find it over the top for us to be married three times in as many months?

Diane: Do we care?

Jack: It’s a good point.

Diane: [ Laughing ] No, we should probably be patient. Maybe we can have a big party for our one year anniversary. How does that sound?

Jack: I’m not sure I can wait that long. We may have to just celebrate our love on our own every hour of every day.

Diane: Mm. You’re such a romantic What’s up?

*****************

Danny: Sure.

Phyllis: Are you interested in the bug?

Danny: I want her to be happy. As I want you to be happy.

Phyllis: Oh, my god. Uh, that’s vague. I can’t– wow. I can’t believe this is happening

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Traci: Jack and Diane seem so happy, don’t they, Billy?

Billy: Yeah. No, it was a very lovely ceremony.

Traci: Yeah. And for Kyle to be the one to pronounce them husband and wife is just, I mean, how awesome is that? Billy. Billy!

Billy: What? Yeah.

Traci: Do you figure if you stare at that long enough you’re gonna– you’re gonna be able to tell what’s inside?

Billy: I’m not just staring at it. I mean, are you not curious about what’s inside here?

Traci: No, I don’t care one little bit what sick idea of a wedding gift Tucker McCall has given them. And jack doesn’t care either, which is why he’s told us to ignore it and throw it out. So, what are we waiting for?

******************

Traci: I don’t follow you.

Billy: Well, uh, this wedding gift, whatever this is, could be insight into what tucker’s thinking. Right? I mean, [ Sighs ] He loves to believe that he’s more clever than everyone else. Like a riddle from The Riddler.

Traci: Or it could be just some– something hateful and despicable that he’s aiming at Ashley and the Abbotts specifically.

Billy: Uh-huh.

Traci: Or it could be a blender.

[ Laughs ] Oh, I don’t care. Why are you obsessing about this, Billy? Come on. Let’s just take it to the trash, open up the lid and put it in there.

Billy: Hm. Okay. Fine.

[ Billy exhaling ] To hell with it.

Traci: Oh, Billy, what are you doing?

Billy: No, I’m just satisfying my curiosity.

Traci: Come on, Jack said that–

Billy: I know what Jack said. He said, get rid of it and I will. I just want to see what’s inside first and we’ll start with the card. “May this symbol of harmony, balance, and patience bring those elements to your new life as husband and wife.” That’s very sweet. It rhymes. Okay.

[ Traci sighing ]

Traci: Hm. I guess that’s it, huh?

Billy: Hm.

Traci: No evil dolls or exploding clocks.

[ Traci laughing ] I hope you’re satisfied.

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Sally: You know, I think the key is to generate word of mouth and get some jobs under my belt before we bring in a marketing team. Get some photos out there, maybe some media content. People love before and after. What do you think about hiring me to design your offices for your new company with Sharon?

Nick: Hundred percent.

Sally: We could feature the empty space and then the concept stage and then the final product. Offer interviews for everyone and it’ll be really good for your company and mine.

Nick: Yep.

Sally: Should I go would you prefer hot pink?

Nick: Yes.

Sally: You’re not actually hearing any of the words I’m saying, are you?

Nick: What do you mean?

Sally: Have you been listening to anything I’ve said?

Nick: Yeah, you were, uh, talking about, um, something pink.

Sally: Nick.

Nick: You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m trying to concentrate, uh, but I can’t stop thinking about something else.

Sally: I bet I can guess. What happened between me and adam? You haven’t been the same since you found out about the kiss.

************************

Adam: Help me out, Victoria. You know this is a double bind for me. If I slack off, I’m an ingrate who thinks this is beneath him. And if I work hard, I’m plotting.

Victoria: That’s about it. Yeah.

Adam: Do– do you know what my dream is?

Victoria: I have no clue. And I’m really not that interested.

Adam: That one day, you will accept what I say to you at face value.

Victoria: Well, I don’t imagine that that day is coming any time soon. You know what they say about dreams? You eventually wake up.

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Jack: Diane and I would like to thank you all for coming to this celebration of our recent marriage, but before the festivities really begin, we’d like to do something a little special, uh, with the help of our son. I love this woman so much, I wanna marry her all over again. Right here, right now, with all of you as witnesses.

Abby: Oh, yay!

[ Attendees clapping ]

Nikki: Oh, how fun.

********************

Jack: You ready?

Kyle: Oh, I’m a licensed professional of the internet variety. Are you ready?

Jack: You bet.

Diane: All right. Let’s do this.

Kyle: All right. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and all of our family and friends and any wedding crashers to celebrate this couple, my parents, as they renew their vows. That’s your queue.

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Billy: Thank you very much. Well, well, what are you still doing here?

Tucker: Why would I leave?

Billy: I just thought you would have left town by now.

Tucker: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Why?

Billy: Well, uh, I have proof that you and Audra did a disgusting thing. Covered up the evidence for a statutory rapist. That’s not a good look. You also failed miserably when you tried to make it look like I embezzled money from my family company. I paid all that money back to Jabot, by the way.

Tucker: Good boy.

Billy: And I can count on half a hand the amount of people that can actually stand the sight of your face, so i thought you would have took off.

Tucker: You probably forgot that I have a son and a grandson here in town who can stand the sight of me. And– and I’m not about to leave ’em again. And if you’re worried that I’m sticking around to exact revenge on you or the Abbotts or Jabot…

[ Scoffs ] I’m a lot of things, Billy, but I’m not an idiot. You’re holding a bomb over my head. So you win. Congratulations. You’ve pretty much forced me to back off.

Billy: Backing off isn’t the same as abandoning, tucker.

Tucker: Oh, god, forgive me. Abandoned. Is that better?

Billy: Not even a little.

Tucker: Yeah, I don’t know what I could do to prove to you that it’s over for me. That I’m just done with you and the Abbotts and your precious little company.

*****************

Traci: So, the florist has just finished setting up and that is done.

Jack: Thank god you changed that order. By the way, how did you remember that Abby is allergic to lilies?

Traci: Abby is my niece and I am Traci Abbott. It’s what I do. [ Laughs ]

Jack: And I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.

Traci: Well, you will die wondering

 

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Lily: What exactly are your intentions at chancellor-winters?

Jill: Yeah, actually, I’m pretty curious about that myself.

[ Mamie laughs ]

Mamie: Jill, Jill, Jill. Who but you would show up at a private party to which you were not invited? Well, I can’t really say that I’m that surprised, but, oh, how rude.

Jill: You see, it just– it all seemed a little wonky, this secret investor thing the way it played out, so I just had to come and see firsthand if it was indeed you, Mamie, who bought into my company. And if so, why?

Mamie: Well, when this investment opportunity came to my attention, I just couldn’t refuse. Oh, come on, Jill, it’s wonderful, isn’t it? To be able to support a successful business and to reconnect with my family?

***************

Mamie: Jill, why is it that you only see shadows and secrets? I suppose that’s just how your mind thinks. But that’s not how the rest of us live our lives. This is my family that you’re in business with. You see the bottom line. I see love and togetherness. This is just not about you, honey.

Jill: Oh, lord, forgive me, Mamie, but I know who you really are and I find it very hard not to doubt your motives.

Mamie: [ Laughs ] Okay. So, Devon is correct. I didn’t have to make an investment in chancellor-winters in order to spend time with the people that I care about, but why not take advantage of a good business move at the same time?

Jill: Good choice of words. Boy, you really know about taking advantage, don’t you?

Mamie: Oh, no, you don’t wanna go down that road. I sit alongside John Abbott all those years that he was building his business empire. I took good care of the Abbott children.

Jill: You just stood alongside him? Sorry, honey, that wasn’t you.

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