Tag: funny

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Kevin: Far be it from me to tell you how to do it, but sometimes a car crash is just a car crash, even when it involves the most hated man in Genoa City.

Chance: There’s more to the story. Trust me. And it’s all in the police report. And since I want you to take on a bigger role in this case…

Kevin: I need to be up to speed. Got it.

********************************

Chance: And if something feels off, don’t be satisfied with the simple answer. When I learned that Rey had a heart attack, the whole scenario just made sense. It made sense why he didn’t have the natural reaction to avoid a collision, why he didn’t hit the brakes, why he didn’t try to steer away from oncoming traffic. And that is why I need to know exactly what happened to Ashland Locke yesterday. I want to know what he did every minute leading up to his death. And you’re gonna help me do it.

Kevin: Me? What can I do? I’m not a cop. I can’t interrogate people. And while I’m sure his car has plenty of microchips inside, you really need a mechanic to analyze that data.

Chance: Go see the medical examiner. She takes her coffee with two sugars.

Kevin: But I have nothing to do with it in her office. She doesn’t even technically work for the GCPD.

Chance: Go see her and tell her how much you like that fantasy role-playing game.

Kevin: Oh, she plays that, too?

Chance: That’s what I hear. And that’s why you’re the perfect man for the job.

Kevin: Unless you’re suggesting that Ashland’s death had something to do with the search for a mythical orb, I fail to see the connection.

Chance: You can take this shared interest, and you can butter her up, man. Get friendly. Yeah? I mean, ask her to join your, uh — whatever it is you call a group of people who play that game.

Kevin: A guild.

Chance: Yes. Yes. Guild. And then once you two are guild buddies — yeah? — You make sure she knows that that autopsy is our top priority.

Kevin: [Sighs] Alright. I guess that’s simple enough.

Chance: And you make sure you know that police report by heart, man. I’m gonna need you up to speed if we’re gonna figure this out.

Kevin: “We.” Sure. I mean, yes. And I will report right back to you because that is what a good sidekick does. We’re kind of a team now, right? You’re boots on the ground. I’m your guy behind the desk, eyes on everything, plugged in to the mainframe. Yes! Maybe not. But I will see what I can do about speeding up that autopsy, and, uh, I’ll be in touch.

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Billy: Well, I guess there is some poetic justice, the fact that Ashland Locke left this earth in the same way that his big persona was born — in a car crash.

[ Sighs ] I’m just glad that he is not on this earth anymore and he is out of your life for good.

Victoria: You know they say you’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead, right?

Billy: Yeah, well, I’m gonna make an exception this time because I know what he put you through. The way that you handled yourself… I am just in awe of you. Your fortitude. Your stubbornness. And, of course, your grace.

Victoria: [Breathes deeply] I told you to go to L.A. And not worry about me, but you didn’t listen.

Billy: Yeah, well, there’s nothing you can say to stop me from looking out for you.

********************************

Nick: Sorry if it seemed like I was brushing you off.

Billy: It’s alright. I’m just glad that you’re both okay and that you are now Locke-free and this whole nightmare is over.

Nick: Yeah. Um, I need to talk to you about that real estate deal.

Victoria: Oh. Business Nick. He’s unstoppable.

Billy: Yeah. Look at him.

Victoria: Yeah.

Billy: I’ll let you two get to it. Thank you again. Glad you’re okay.

Victoria: Thanks for stopping by.

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Kyle: Hello newlyweds. Thanks for inviting me to hang. Tessa, I heard your recovery was going smoothly, but I’m glad to see it for myself. You look great.

Voice app: Thanks, but i can’t wait to stop sounding like GPS directions.

[Both laugh]

Mariah: Tessa is still resting her voice, but I’m not going to lie. I think I’m kind of starting to like it. I mean, the computer automated voice, it’s kind of sounding a little sexy to me, if you know what I mean.

Kyle: Glad to see you’re keeping your sense of humor.

*******************************

Billy: I realize that, but you can only suppress your feelings for so long, and the longer you do

[Imitates explosion] The bigger the combustion.

Phyllis: You know, I’m actually offended by this characterization of my personality. Yeah, why is it that you get to turn your life around, you get to be an upstanding executive, but me, I can’t do that?

Billy: Because I actually like my colleagues. I trust them and admire them.

Phyllis: Okay, well, it’s unfortunate for you that all you’re working with are, you know, your buddies and your girlfriend. I’m going to handle Diane very professionally.

Billy: And I’m going to enjoy the popcorn watching you do that.

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Adam: What’s the rush, Kevin? Got some hardcore hacking to do?

Kevin: Wouldn’t you like to know. I work for the good. So, if you’re looking for someone to blackmail into being your minion, look elsewhere. This guy’s on the right side of the law.

Adam: Yeah, well, at least for now. Old habits, you know, and all that.

Kevin: It’s funny. Now that I’m out of your orbit, everything is right in my world. Great job, great relationship, great family.

Adam: That sounds nice. I’m very happy for you.

Kevin: From what I hear, you’re striking out on all three of those fronts these days.

Adam: Gloating is not a good look on you, Kevin.

Kevin: I think I’ve earned it. You put me through hell.

Adam: Come on. You were hardly an innocent victim.

Kevin: The difference between the two of us is that I have done my best to change. You just wallow in your bad habits.

Adam: What would you know about it?

Kevin: Uh, hello? Chloe? The love of my life?

Adam: No accounting for taste, but I guess there really is a lid for every pot, huh?

Kevin: [Chuckles] Yeah. My point is that Chloe works for Sally now. Not that she’s a gossip, but she has shared some things your ex has said about you. Whew!

Adam: Like what?

Kevin: Well, I wish I could stay and chat longer, but I’m assuming you heard Ashland Locke turned up dead, so I’m a little busy.

**********************************

Jack: Going out?

Ashley: As a matter of fact, I am. Why? Are you keeping tabs on me like you used to when we were kids?

Jack: We’ve got kids who have kids. No, I don’t think so. I’m actually quietly reading over the lab report you asked me to look at.

Ashley: Well, you know what? I should be back at a pretty decent hour, so we can go over it when I get home.

Jack: Great.

Ashley: Or maybe I should just stay here and keep tabs on you. What are you doing here — again

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Chloe: Blech.

Sally: What’s wrong?

Chloe: All of these people.

Sally: What people are you talking about? Hopefully no one whose name is on the building because they sign our checks.

Chloe: You know, as a rule, I am generally irritated by most of the Newmans, but in this moment, I am specifically irritated by all of these national media parasites who just want to get the scoop on Ashland Locke’s death. Vultures.

Sally: Chloe, you do realize that we’re a part of the national media, right? So, are you calling us vultures?

Chloe: No, no. I’m talking about all of the reporters who have come into town, who are trying to uncover some angle that no one else has found.

Sally: They’re not evil. They’re just trafficking in the most valuable commodity of the day — information. All of their platforms are covering Ashland’s death, and they need to find an angle.

Chloe: Well, I doubt they’re gonna find out that Nick punched Ashland at Victoria’s house the night that Locke died.

Sally: What did you just say? Their confrontation got physical?

*********************************

Chloe: It’s true. Nick clocked Ashland the night he died. Probably not long before the accident.

Sally: And this was at Victoria’s house?

Chloe: Exactly.

Sally: What was Ashland doing there?

Chloe: I don’t really know. I just know that it got really heated between Ashland and Victoria, so Nick had to step in.

Sally: Wow. And you found this out from your trusted source that rhymes with “fleven.”

Chloe: You know there are actual words that rhyme with his name. You don’t have to make up something.

Sally: Yeah, but it’s more fun to say fleven. So, what else did kevin tell you?

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Chance: If you’re hoping that I’m gonna drop this investigation, that’s not gonna happen. It is my duty to find the facts in this case, and I take that very seriously.

Victor: I know you do. And I admire that. You have a highly developed sense of duty. Probably got that from the military. But as far as I’m concerned, all that effort would be better spent elsewhere.

Chance: I doubt Ashland would see it that way.

Victor: Who the hell gives a damn how Ashland would see it? He’s dead, Chance, dead as a doornail! He was a pathological liar. He was a fraud. And I have a feeling he began to realize that. That’s why he drove his damn car into a ravine.

Chance: Okay, so you’re still pushing the whole suicide —

Victor: That’s the only logical explanation.

Chance: Only if the facts would back it up, but that’s not the case. Victor, I cannot overlook the reality that you have covered up a fatal accident in the past involving one of your children.

Victor: Now, wait a minute, man. You’re talking about Adam. This is something that happened decades ago. Let me tell you something about your profession. The more information you have about a case, the more it often obscures the truth.

********************************”***

Chloe: I have to laugh that this is the same woman who was just doubting herself a minute ago.

Sally: Well, your pep talk helped. It was exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. The two of us are going to kick butt running this company.

Chloe: Damn right we are.

Sally: You know, in fashion, I always wanted to influence what people wore, but this is gonna be so much bigger. I mean, folks are gonna turn to Newman Media to figure out who to listen to, what to talk about, and what to care about. It’s awesome, how much power and influence we can wield.

Chloe: Yes, yes, yes. Now, that is the Sally Spectra I know.

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Devon: Thanks, man. And get two of these.

Amanda: Wow. You must be really hungry. You’re ordering the entire menu.

Devon: Well, most of it is for you.

Amanda: For me?

Devon: Yes, because I noticed while you were helping your mother get situated in Virginia that you weren’t really taking care of yourself.

Amanda: I know. I know. I just — I — I needed to make sure that Naya had everything she needed, you know?

Devon: I know you did, and now that we’re back home, I can spoil you and get you all your favorite things and all your favorite foods. All the curly fries you can eat.

Amanda: [ Gasps ] Well, I have to admit that the surest and fastest way to my heart is curly fries.

Devon: Is it?

Amanda: Yes.

Devon: Oh, good.

[Both laugh] Well, I’ll joking aside, I hope that you know that you can tell me if there’s anything else you need me to do — ’cause I can tell that something is still weighing on you. You barely said two words on the flight back home.

****************************

Mariah: And the doctor said the procedure couldn’t have gone better. The only unfortunate thing is Tessa has to be on complete vocal rest for the next few days — so, no talking, no — no laughing or coughing or clearing your throat. And the hardest part, no singing or humming. I know. I’m sorry, my little songbird. But that’s kind of the best part in all of this, is I get to say sappy things to Tessa and she can’t groan. So, it’s kind of a win-win.

Sharon: Well, I plan on keeping you fully stocked with plenty of smoothies and decaffeinated teas while you recover. And maybe the best thing that Mariah can do for you is to stop cracking so many jokes. Tessa’s not supposed to be laughing, either.

Mariah: Uh…yeah. Wait, what are you trying to say?

Faith: Uh, that we don’t have to worry. Your jokes — not so funny.

Mariah: Wow. Okay, fine.

Faith: Oh! I have the best gift for this situation. You can use this instead of talking. What?

Thank you. I love it.

[Laughter]

Faith: I get it. Obviously, Tessa could have just used her phone, but with the whiteboard, she can be more expressive — pictures, emojis. It’s like carrying around her own thought bubble.

Mariah: That’s a very good point. You know, we can also play hangman or ticktacktoe, draw charades. Very good gift. Thank you.

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Sharon: Okay, come on. It’s me you’re talking to. I’m not buying the past tense.

Adam: [Sighs]

Sharon: Okay. Why are you cutting out someone who cares about you and appears to see the best in you and might even bring the best out of you?

Adam: Sharon, it’s — it’s complicated.

Sharon: You know what? When you find someone who you really match up with, it shouldn’t be complicated and you shouldn’t take it for granted.

Adam: Look, as I already told you, um, this is what’s best for everybody, okay? I need a break. And the trip that you heard me booking was for Vegas.

Sharon: Really? Given your history there, why would you want to go back there? And don’t forget — I’m the one who brought you home from Vegas. I wouldn’t want to see you slide into old bad habits. So, how long are you staying?

Adam: I’m taking off now.

[Laughter] Okay, you have a family to attend to, and I have a trip to pack for. Good luck with the procedure today, Tessa.

Tessa: Thank you.

*****************

Diane: you’re having a big talk.

Kyle: Yes, we are.

Diane: I know mommy and daddy shared some sad news with you, how father got hurt and he won’t be back. That’s kind of hard to believe or understand, isn’t it? Yeah. Hey, you and I just saw father at the park, didn’t we? I heard him telling you how much he loves you and how he had to go away on a trip, but that he’d be back soon.

[ Sighs ] But sometimes things happen in life that we aren’t expecting and our plans change, like — oh, do you remember the day that we were going to the park and then, when we went outside, it started to rain, so we decided to stay home? Yeah. Well, that’s — that’s one way that plans can change when something that we can’t control happens to us. And then all of a sudden, things aren’t the way we thought they’d be. But that doesn’t mean that father didn’t love you more than anything else in this world. I know that if father could be here with you, he would be. But this is just one of those times that something bad happened and he can’t be. Show me where your heart is.

[Chuckles] What a smart and brave boy you are. That’s — that’s absolutely right.

Kyle: Father’s still in there, in your heart.

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Sally: No, it is nothing like that. I just — I learned something earlier. Adam was in here tonight, and I heard him talking with Sharon. I overheard him telling her what I had suspected all along. He admitted that the only reason he broke up with me was because he felt like it was best for me. He didn’t admit it to my face, but it’s a real motive behind him breaking things off.

Nick: Do you think we don’t know that already? And who cares? It shouldn’t change anything.

Sally: Yeah, but it does, because I’m not okay with him making that sacrifice.

Nick: Well, Adam doesn’t care what you think, obviously. He made this decision without consulting you, and he’s lying to you, and he’s continuing to lie to you.

Sally: It was a terrible, stupid mistake on Adam’s part, but I know he believes he’s doing the right thing.

Nick: You’re just making excuses for him, just like Sharon did and Chelsea and just like Victoria did for Ashland.

Sally: That is not what I’m doing.

Nick: Sally, what is wrong with you? You’ve got this incredible opportunity. It is right in front of your face. You just have to grab it. And you’re willing to throw it all away for this guy who stomped on your heart with both feet. Is this all the self-respect you have?

Sally: Why are you being so harsh? I bet this has more to do with what your sister just went through than it does with me. So please don’t put all your baggage on me. You don’t know me that well

*******************

Chloe: So, was I right about Adam earlier? Is he angry with you for staying on at Newman when he decided to quit? Is that why he broke up with you?

Sally: [Sighs] You have it backwards, Chloe. Adam broke up with me so that I can stay here. He knew that Victoria would never agree to keep me on as long as we were still together, that she could never trust me to somehow not be conspiring with him. So, he came up with some bogus story about not wanting to be with me because Victor wouldn’t approve.

Chloe: Oh, my god. That is just so hurtful.

Sally: I knew that that’s not how he really felt, which is exactly what you saw us arguing about earlier. And then tonight, I confirmed it. I overheard him admitting to Sharon that he only cut me loose so that our relationship wouldn’t get in the way of my job here at Newman Media.

Chloe: And let me guess, you confronted him right away.

Sally: Of course. I told him that this was a huge mistake and that he would regret it for the rest of his life, once I had moved on with someone else.

Chloe: Good for you.

Sally: But then I also

[Sighs] Told him that I didn’t want to get the job this way and that I would

[Inhaling deeply] Be turning in my resignation first thing in the morning.

Chloe: Okay. I — I’m not going to freak out right away, because I’m sure you just said that in the heat of the moment, and by now you’ve calmed down and realize that quitting would just be crazy right!

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Kyle: Mm. And I wanted us to have a little alone time so I can thank you for being such a great stepmom and wife.

Summer: And now business partner.

Kyle: Oh! How could I forget? I think we should toast to that.

Summer: I think so, too. Well, well, well, would you look at that? My brother and your…

Kyle: Niece.

Summer: Right. Would you mind if we went over there? I know that it’s our date night, but I haven’t caught up with Noah in forever.

Kyle: I think you just want to spy on the new romance.

Summer: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Kyle: Don’t get me wrong, I’m on board. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Allie, which is kind of embarrassing because we live in the same house, so let’s do it

*********************

Noah: What, you got a problem with my plan already?

Summer: Yeah. A grandpa-shaped problem. I mean, he kind of likes having the top of the tower in the Newman building. He uses it a lot. He uses it as sort of like a second office. I’m not sure he’s gonna go for turning it into a nightclub with a glam vibe.

Kyle: [Chuckles] I don’t think Victor knows what glam vibe is.

Noah: I beg to differ, my friend. Have you seen pictures of him in the ’70s? Dude was a stud.

Kyle: I have.

Summer: True.

Kyle: And I stand corrected. But he was less of a Bowie and more of a Burt Reynolds.

Noah: Yeah.

Allie: Who’s Burt Reynolds?

Noah: Are you ser– okay. We have a movie marathon in our future.

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Adam: What are you doing here?

Sally: I’m like one of those ghosts in that Dickens novel. I’m giving you a second chance. A do-over, so this time you can make the right choice. And we can reclaim our future.

*****************

Sally: [Scoffs] You didn’t think I was just going to give up, did you? I thought we knew each other better than that.

Adam: No, I assumed that you had too much self-respect to keep throwing yourself at someone who just rejected you. So apparently, I don’t know you that well.

Sally: I’m here because i have a ton of self-confidence, enough to endure whatever it is that you’re gonna dish out until you finally drop your defenses.

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Phyllis: Hey.

Diane: Hi.

Phyllis: Oh, good on you, keeping your workouts in.

Diane: No. You’re right. I do need to stay fit for Harrison’s sake. He’s needed extra attention from his Dee-Dee after the shock of Ashland’s death. It’s been really hard for him to process.

Phyllis: Oh, yeah.

Diane: Yeah.

Phyllis: It’s really hard for children to deal with grief. That’s why all of us as parents — we make sure that we’re there for them to prevent them from any unnecessary trauma.

Diane: Hmm.

Phyllis: Mm. But Kyle and summer — they’re amazing.

Diane: Oh, yeah. They’re excellent parents. You know what? I-I better get to it. I’m on a gym break from my job at Marchetti. I have to tell you, it is such an invigorating environment, and working with my son is incredible. You know what, Phyllis? My new life in Genoa City is better than I could have ever dreamed.

 

*************************

Phyllis: Ah. You know, it’s funny because, from my vantage point, it seems like anything is possible. I’m starting to feel like the world is my oyster. Do you know what I mean? Like something is about to change that’s gonna be spectacular.

Diane: [ Scoffs ]

[ Cellphone chimes ]

Phyllis: Oh, it’s Summer. How funny. Oh, she has a proposition for me. I need to talk to her. Toodles.

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Diane: Oh, gosh! That wind came out of nowhere.

Jack: Yeah, that’s what we used to call a wicked wind when I was a kid.

Diane: I’ve never heard that phrase before.

Jack: No?

Diane: No.

Jack: Well, it’s an old wives’ tale about summer winds that come in and manage to make things hot rather than cool. It’s a bad omen.

Diane: Oh.

Jack: So, in July, when a wind like this kicks up, well, you know trouble’s right around the corner. And here you are

***************

Phyllis: I’ll tell you why. I had a conversation with Summer. You know what Summer said? She went on and on about Diane and how wonderful she is because I guess she saved Harrison from Ashland. And she was going on like Diane deserved a medal or a parade or something.

Nikki: That’s ridiculous. I was there. She sent Michael a text. That’s the extent of her involvement.

Phyllis: Are you kidding me? And you know she probably did it so everybody would fawn all over her.

Nikki: [Sighs] Ashland Locke. The gift that keeps on giving.

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Billy: You okay?

Victoria: Yeah, I-I’m fine. I-I’m sorry. I know, I jumped a mile.

Billy: It’s alright. You know, this old place. It cracks and pops when the wind blows. You remember how scared the kids used to get?

Victoria: [Chuckles] Yes, I do. Now they just make a game out of it.

Billy: Yeah. “What monster made that sound?” Is the, uh, the grumpy goblin — is that still the winner?

Victoria: Well, now that Katie’s in her sci-fi phase, she likes to speculate about an alien who’s taken up residence in the attic.

Billy: I do not believe that she is reading sci-fi. Seems like yesterday we were teaching her the alphabet.

Victoria: I sort of wish that we could just stop time — you know? — And keep them at this age where they’re old enough to not need us to hold their hand anymore, but they’re young enough to just be innocent and get excited about everything.

*************************

Victoria: [Sighs] What — what the hell are you doing out there?

Ashland: I was debating whether to even make my presence known.

Victoria: As opposed to what? Hiding out in the bushes and spying on me. What’s wrong with you?

Ashland: I just wanted to see you one last time.

Victoria: You shouldn’t be here right now. Maybe I should call the police. Do I need a restraining order against you?

Ashland: I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to scare you. But after everything we’ve shared, I just…

[Sighs] I don’t know how to say goodbye.

Victoria: [Sighing] Ughh!

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Sharon: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the look on your face whenever you’re around her or talking about her. Let’s see, what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh, I know — happy.

Noah: That’s very funny. But, yeah, yeah, I like her. She’s cool, easy to hang out with.

Sharon: She kind of took you by surprise, didn’t she?

Noah: Yeah, I can’t remember ever feeling so comfortable and so relaxed with someone this quickly.

*********************

Ashley: Okay. I’m glad. It’s so important to me that you have your eyes wide open where Diane Jenkins is concerned. Honestly, as long as her presence is here in this town, she will continue to inflict pain on our family. What is it? What are you thinking? I mean, honestly, express it, please. I promise you, it’s not going to affect our relationship at the lab or here. I promise.

Allie: Okay. Ashley, I just… I just want you to know that even though I may seem innocent or naive, I am anything but, and I won’t let anyone manipulate me. Not Diane. Not Phyllis. And not you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get ready for my date with Noah.

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Phyllis: Okay. Well, this is the first meeting of the disappear Diane Club, or the Jettison Jenkins Foundation.

Nikki: Phyllis, I understand you need to inject a little humor here, but the reality is, this is a dire situation. We have got to get Diane out of town before she does some real harm to people we love.

Phyllis: Oh, no one agrees with you more than I on that.

Ashley: So, let’s get down to business. How do we make it happen?

******************

Adam: What happened to you? Have you been on a bender?

Ashland: I’ve been in jail. Not that it’s any of your business.

Adam: Well, I guess that explains why you haven’t answered my calls. But what could you have done to land you in jail? You tried to see Harrison, didn’t you? You defied the restraining order.

Ashland: I thought I found an ally in Diane.

Adam: If you would’ve asked me, I would have warned you against that.

Ashland: Mm.

Adam: No one has ever trusted her without living to regret it. Including me.

Ashland: Well, I thought she, more than anyone, would understand what it feels like to be separated from your own son. She’d taken Harrison to the park… let me spend a little time with him, and then…

Adam: Well, you knew it. The cops were swarming. Yeah, she figured she could use you to score some points with the Newmans.

Ashland: I’m pretty sure Victor was behind it from the beginning.

Adam: Mm. Well, that does sound like dear old dad. But, uh, I guess the question now is, what do you intend to do about it?

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Ashley: She did it, didn’t she?

Jack: What? What are you saying?

Ashley: Phyllis pulled a Phyllis.

Jack: I don’t even know what that means.

Ashley: Jack, you know exactly what it means. What did she do? Listen, I’m done settling. Because this is my secret.

*************

Noah: Oh, no, she can’t.

Phyllis: Why not?

Noah: Uh, we — we have that thing that we’re going to, and we don’t want to be late to that because…

Allie: He’s great. I’m so sorry, but I’m sure you understand.

Noah: Busy woman like Phyllis, better believe she does. Matter of fact, we have taken up way too much time as it is, so we should probably go on.

Allie: I’m sure we’ll catch up soon. I’ll talk to you later, Phyllis. Okay. Bye.

Diane: Wow. You can really clear a room.

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Phyllis: Hey. Why are you still here? I thought Victoria scraped you off of the bottom of her shoe.

Ashland: Beat it, Phyllis.

Phyllis: Not beating it. I can be here.

Ashland: Yeah. Okay, fine. I admit I am not the guy who decides who comes and goes in this park. In fact, I don’t decide much of anything these days.

Phyllis: It must suck reaping what you sow.

Ashland: Boy, you really are enjoying gloating over my downfall, aren’t you?

Phyllis: I am.

Ashland: Oh.

Phyllis: I actually am. Yeah. What are you doing here? Honestly, I thought Victoria got rid of you. And I’m really impressed with her. Maybe I’ll give her a party at the Grand Phoenix for getting rid of you professionally and personally.

Ashland: That is a fantastic idea. You should get on that right now

**********************

Ashland: My gosh, just look at you. Is it possible you’ve grown like a foot since the last time I saw you?

Harrison: Maybe.

Ashland: Oh, then that means I’ve been away for way too long. I-I — I’m so sorry that we haven’t been able to spend more time together.

Harrison: I miss you, father.

Ashland: I miss you too, son. I’ve just been… I’ve been traveling. I’ve been very busy.

Harrison: With work?

Ashland: Yeah. Yeah. And I may have to leave again soon, so I’m really glad that I’m seeing you right now.

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Allie: Hi.

Noah: Oh, there she is, Jabot’s number-one new intern.

Allie: Oh, stop. I just started. It is too soon to say that.

Noah: Well, I got confidence in you. How was your first day?

Allie: Oh, my gosh, it was so fantastic. I loved, loved, loved orientation. They were so thorough.

[ Sighs ] I can’t wait to start working on the projects in the lab.

Noah: Yeah, I mean, sounds exciting. Chemicals and beakers and all that stuff.

Allie: You have not done chemistry since high school, have you?

Noah: No, no, I have not, but I’m trying my best to act like i know what I’m talking about, so if you can just play along, that would be great.

Allie: Okay, okay, well, I am super excited to get practical experience with everything i learned in school. So I’m interested in discovering how science is done in an academic setting versus how it’s done in…

[ Sighs ] I’m sorry.

Noah: What, why are you sorry?

Allie: Here I am going on and on about my fun new internship, and I know you’re not really feeling fulfilled with your career at the moment, so…

Noah: That’s true, but there’s no need to apologize. You know, it’s good that you’re so excited about your new job. That’s what we all want, right? Matter of fact, I think we should celebrate. Would you want to go to dinner with me?

Allie: Oh, sure, yeah, but we could just get something here. I really need a muffin —

Noah: No, Allie, I — I mean like a real dinner.

Allie: Noah Newman, are you asking me out on a date?

Noah: I mean, we — we don’t have to put a label on it if you don’t want to call it that. I just think that we should commemorate your success, and i want to thank you for listening to me about my dilemma with my dad. Talking it out really helped.

Allie: Good, I’m glad. Have you come to a decision? Are you still thinking about leaving New Hope?

**********************

Ashland: You know, in all my years of experience, I’ve found the man who was stripped of everything is the most dangerous.

Victoria: Is that a threat?

Ashland: It’s an observation.

Victoria: You walked in here so calm and deferential ’cause you wanted us to grant you a favor, but now that my father’s refused you, you’re baring your teeth?

Ashland: I’m just saying, if you kick a dog enough times, eventually he will bite back.

Victor: If anyone in my family is bitten by your damn dog, I will kill you myself. Now get out of my sight.

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Summer: I know a little boy who cannot stop talking about wanting to spend more time with you. Hope your new job doesn’t keep you too busy for playdates with Harrison.

Diane: Oh, that all depends on my bosses

*************

Traci: Hey, Allie. Listen, it’s such a beautiful day out, I think I’m gonna go out in the garden and do some writing. Would you care to join me? Allie?

Allie: Oh, hey, Traci. Sorry. I didn’t know you were here.

Traci: Wow. You were a million miles away.

Allie: Yeah. I get into this hyperfocus mode when I read. I’m sorry.

Traci: Oh, don’t apologize. That’s a fantastic quality in a person. In fact, I owe my entire career to good readers. So, tell me, what has your attention?

Allie: Well, my internship at Jabot starts this afternoon. It’s just orientation, but I wanted to prepare.

Traci: So, you have already started doing research. Wow. At that rate, you’re going to be on the board of directors by next week.

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Billy: Whether it’s a business, a friendship, or a romantic relationship, to me, the key to a successful partnership is compromise and balance — supporting the other person while being honest about each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Now, let me be very clear. I’ve had a few partners who were not shy about pointing out my numerous flaws, and it’s not fun in the moment at all. But ultimately, I do believe that it is a good thing.

[Button clicks] What do you think?

Lily: I mean, I love it. I think it’s great.

Nate: Yeah. I won’t be bringing up Elena’s weaknesses anytime soon.

Devon: Do you do that with Lily?

Billy: No, of course not. Look at her — she’s perfect.

***************

Nick: Kids were surprised I decided to come back to work here.

Victoria: In a good way, I hope.

Nick: Oh, yeah. Faith told me that as soon as she graduates college, she’s gonna be coming after my job.

Victoria: Well, you better work hard, because my niece is a very smart young lady.

Nick: I’m on notice. You run a tight ship.

Victoria: Seriously, though, I would love to have her here at Newman Enterprises, but I think maybe the management trainee program might be a better place for her to start her career.

Nick: Yeah, that’s more like it.

Victoria: But I like it very much that she’s interested in the family business. I’d love to see the next generation getting involved and coming up through the ranks. If I’ve learned anything this past year it’s that the leadership of this company needs to stay in Newman hands.

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Adam: Well, this must be the happiest day of your life.

Billy: It’s up there. You know, this has got to sting. Your plan to get rid of Locke cost you half a billion dollars, and it didn’t work. Needed your sister to come in and clean things up for you. You must be in a world of hurt. You’ve got your back up against the wall.

Adam: That’s right, I do. But you, of all people, should know that’s when I’m most dangerous. So, I probably wouldn’t push me, Billy.

****************************

Ashland: Oh. Hello, Adam.

Adam: [Clears throat] What are you doing here, Locke? You know, you have some nerve showing your face in Genoa City again.

Ashland: [Chuckles] Well, no one’s ever accused me of being timid.

Adam: Uh-huh. Well, there’s no love lost between us. So why are you chatting me up?

Ashland: You know, i understand how you Newmans always expect me to turn around and flee whenever I run into one of you. But honestly, I just — I don’t want to give you any of you that kind of satisfaction, so…

Adam: So, you came back to town to irritate us?

Ashland: No, no. I actually have a legitimate reason for being here.

Adam: Surely you can’t still be chasing after Victoria. I heard about how she worked you over. You really must be a glutton for punishment.

Ashland: No, no, no. If you must know, I — I left behind some personal belongings when Victoria and i took off for New York City, and I thought I’d stop by the house to pick them up.

Adam: Ah. Well, she may have already given them to charity.

Ashland: Hmm.

Adam: Or put them out on the curb for the trash collector. Or, hey, maybe she already had a good old-fashioned bonfire.

Ashland: I’m sure that’s exactly what’s happened. But speaking of being kicked to the curb, you must feel exactly like that now that Victoria has returned to reclaim her rightful place on the throne.

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Chloe: Hey Sally. Well, nothing was happening until you showed up, and I mean that on five different levels.

Sally: I’d like to take that as a good thing.

Chloe: Oh, it’s great.

Sally: What are you doing?

Chloe: Oh, I’m just having a business meeting with my partner. Can’t you see?

Sally: Is Chelsea late?

Chloe: Yeah, or possibly forgot the whole thing or just chose not to show up.

Sally: I see.

Chloe: Please, please sit down and join me.

Sally: Oh.

Chloe: Um, yeah, I just wanted to congratulate you on your new gig. Thank you. I mean, taking over as CEO at Newman Media — that is a big job. But I know you can do it.

Sally: Thanks, Chloe. Coming from you, that means a lot.

***********************

Victoria: handle the articles of incorporation. We need to be official if we’re gonna make an offer on the place.

Ashland: Agreed.

Victoria: Uh, also — oh, gosh — in order to file the paperwork, we’re gonna need a name, and we haven’t even thought of anything yet.

Ashland: Okay, how about “anything but Newman” incorporated?

Victoria: Ooh, catchy! But I think — honestly, I think we should leave our names out of it.

Ashland: I like “catchy.” How about Catchy Media?

Victoria: My goodness. I thought you would be better at this. Your previous corporation was named after a 3,000-year-old Babylonian king.

Ashland: Excuse me. I had months to come up with that, not five minutes.

Victoria: Okay, fine. What was that phrase that you used about the building?

Ashland: “Save millions.”

Victoria: [Laughs] No. “Hand of destiny.”

Ashland: “Destiny.” Destiny Media. I love that. And I love you.

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Phyllis: Hey Derek, can you do me a favor? Um, and get housekeeping on this right away. Half a bottle of wine and dirty glasses are outside my suite. I don’t want it there. Hard night for someone. I don’t know who left it there. I don’t know. I don’t know. But could you get rid of it? Thanks.

Amanda: Well, hello. So, you run out of town, you leave us in the lurch for the Chancellor-Winters launch party, and then, worst of all, you don’t call, you don’t text.

Phyllis: I know. I’m the worst. Hi.

Amanda: Welcome home.

Phyllis: Aww, thank you. Thank you

************************

Summer: Mom?

Phyllis: I’m okay.

Summer: No, you’re not.

Phyllis: Yeah, I’m fine Summer. I’m fine. You know what? I want to ask you a question. The job you offered me at Marchetti — is that the same one that Diane’s doing?

Summer: Mom, no, not even close. I wanted you to be my head of marketing. What we offered Diane is a junior-level P.R. Gig. Look, it was Kyle’s idea, and i only agreed to it because I’m here to support Kyle, just like you are here to support me, right?

Phyllis: Yeah. Right. I will support you. I will support you because i love you. Yeah.

Summer: I love you, too.

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