Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne and Thane
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
[tense music]
So what did Abe say?
He said no one’s getting killed, and he thinks that Leo just went rogue.
Well, it sounds like Leo.
Yeah, and Abe said he was going to get to the bottom of it. [sighs]
Sweetness, are you OK?
I just feel kind of– I don’t know. I–
Oh, baby. Hey. Oh.
So you want to be with me? You really mean that?
[sighs] Of course I do. [soft music]
Alex, what’s wrong? Alex. Alex. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
I–I don’t understand why they would do this. They have to know that killing off Seth is a huge mistake. He’s the one who gave us permission to shoot at the hospital. If he revokes that, we’re–we’re screwed.
You’re right.
[sighs] I’m going to call Leo right now. [eerie music]
[groans]
Johnny!
So what is this, some kind of a joke?
Oh, my God. What if it’s the stalker?
What stalker?
The evil SOB who sent those poisoned cupcakes and the text to Bonnie sending her to the elevator– the person who has been targeting the cast and crew of this show since you put a curse on it.
Oh, yeah, I guess that’s possible. But attempted murder– I mean, that’s no small potatoes. And I know they were killing me off on the show, but at least I wasn’t going to die in real life, you know? [tense music] Although I’m feeling a little unsteady. Whew.
You are suddenly looking a little green around the gills.
Mm. I just–[sighs] [grunting] [tense music]
Oh, my God. I think I know who’s doing this.
The cupcakes, Bonnie’s accident. I should have realized this sooner. I should have known it was you.
Hello, Abe. What took you so long?
[soft orchestration]
announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”
[tense music]
You’ve got to be kidding me. Oh, do they think they can pull this crap on Seth Burns and get away with it?
Everything OK, Seth?
Far from it. Dr. Kiriakis, I have been– oh, damn. I am so angry I can’t even get the words out.
Take your time.
I, in the most insulting and outrageous way possible, have been fired.
From the hospital?
No. Worse. From “Body & Soul.” They’re killing me off.
Oh. Oh, wow. Yeah, I’m sorry. I know how much you like being on that show.
And I was doing a great job. I mean, everyone tells me I could have a future as an actor. That’s how– [grumbles] convincing I was. Just this evening, the director tells me, no one could bring Dr. Blake Lamoray to life like I do. Did you see last Wednesday’s episode? OK, I got a lot to say in that one, and I didn’t flub a single line.
I–I did not see it, but I’m sure that you were very convincing, like you said.
And you know how I started? As an under five. Yeah, that meaning that I had fewer than five lines an episode. But I so impressed the powers that be that they almost immediately upgraded me to a day player, meaning I have a major role. I’m on my way to being a leading man. And now this.
It is–it’s so unfair.
It’s more than unfair. It’s outrageous. They’re not going to get away with it.
Who is they?
Abe Carver, Kate Brady, and Leo Stark, the hack that wrote this drivel. I mean, have they forgotten that the only reason they’re allowed to shoot in this hospital is because I signed off on it?
Yeah, that was–it was very gracious of you.
No, it certainly was, especially because I knew the risk involved. But, see, I agreed to it for the love of the craft. And this is the thanks they gave me.
Yeah. Well, I wouldn’t take it too personal. I mean, I don’t know much about soap operas, but they– they kill off the characters pretty regularly, don’t they?
Not when you are as popular as I know I am. My mother told me that the only reason that her friends still watch it is when I’m on it. And if those tasteless producers were going to get rid of me, the least they could do was come up with a more memorable way to do it, like Blake goes over a waterfall atop Pinetano Mountain or his jet ski blows up on Lake Pineview.
How are they going to do it?
Oh, it’s so humiliating, I don’t even want to tell you.
Oh, yeah. Well, I get that. I totally understand. And I’m–I’m so sorry again. So I’ll just–
No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I’m going to tell you. Dr. Blake Lamoray, chief of staff of Pineview Hospital, succumbs to carbon monoxide poisoning due to a faulty space heater. Have you ever heard anything more banal, more–more unrealistic? I mean, the guy’s not an idiot, right? So why would he be so damn careless?
I mean, actually, it’s not that unrealistic. I mean, people do die that way, sadly. Nurse King’s husband– it happened to him.
[sighs]
So nice of you to visit, Abe. What took you so long?
This is not a social visit, Whitley.
Oh, dear. You sound upset.
You’re damn right I’m upset. You’ve been attacking the men and women who work on “Body & Soul.”
Guilty as charged. How did you figure it out?
Kayla Johnson wanted to know why we were killing off Kassandra.
Ah, she got the latest script.
In which Charlemagne’s cat steps on a gun and it goes off, shooting Kassandra through the heart.
Sasquatch.
I beg your pardon?
Oh, that’s the name of the kitty in the script– Sasquatch. Oh, but back to you figuring out all the details.
Yeah. Well, I remembered how much you love your cats and “Body &” Soul. So then it suddenly hit me. It had to be you.
Oh. [laughs] That’s one of my favorite songs. Oh. Well, anyway, I guess you found me out. You’re right. I did it. And you know what, Abe? I’d do it again.
I don’t get it. How could you do this to the cast and crew of a show you claim you love?
I do love “Body & Soul.” I do with all of my heart. But that show that you’re producing– well, that’s not my “Body & Soul.”
What the hell are you talking about?
You ruined it, Abraham Carver. You and all those people who brought that back. So I had to make you and everyone who’s helped you pay for what you’ve done. [tense music]
Oh, I remember Whitley King. She held Abe Carver hostage in her apartment for months.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, what she did to Abe was horrible, but she wasn’t in her right mind. She had–she’d suffered a psychotic break after, you know, what happened to her. Her husband died tragically from carbon monoxide poisoning, and so did all her cats.
So I’m supposed to die like a bunch of cats?
Well, it was her husband, like I said– a human being.
Well, still and all, it’s hardly dramatic. They probably won’t even cover it in the soap press.
Well, you could ask Leo Stark. I mean, I bet he could jazz it up a bit.
Oh, I plan to. But I’m going to tell you this. When it comes time for me to kick the bucket for real, it won’t be lame and pathetic like in that script. Mm-mm, no, ma’am. It’s going to take more than a little bit of poison to take out Seth Burns. [coughs] [grunts] [tense music] [grunts]
Seth? Seth, is everything OK?
[groans]
Sweetness, sweetness. Hey, hey, Kayla? Kayla, I need you to open your eyes. [tense music]
Barely breathing. Need some help. [phone beeping] Yeah, listen, my wife just collapsed. She’s not responding. Hurry!
Alex. Alex, wake up.
Steph, what’s going on?
There you are.
Where was I?
You passed out.
I don’t feel good.
Oh, yeah, you got a fever. We need to get you to the hospital right now. [phone beeping] Yes, this is– what the hell? They put me on hold.
Johnny. Johnny. Johnny, talk to me.
(WHISPERING) What happened?
I don’t know. You were just–you collapsed, and then you passed out.
Help me up?
Yeah.
[grunts]
You good? How are you feeling?
Uh–out of it, dizzy, nauseous.
OK, you know what? I’m going to call for help. [phone beeping] Hello? Hi. I’m calling from the DiMera estate, and I’m going to need an ambulance here right away. I’m sorry. What do you mean, it’s going to be a while? My husband just fainted dead away– you know what?
What’s wrong?
I don’t know. They’re saying– I don’t know, something must be going on because they’re overwhelmed with calls, and they want us to wait, but to hell with that. Come on. Come on, get up. Take my arm. You can just–
[grunts]
–lean on me, OK? All right. We’re just going to walk.
Where?
I am taking you to the hospital my damn self. Come on.
Hattie? Girl, do not mess with me. I still have PTSD from finding Sonny with that steak knife in his back. Get up. Please get up? [tense music] Oh, God. [sighs] She doesn’t have a pulse. Ah. Ah. She isn’t breathing. Oh, my God. Hattie! Ah. Ah. Oh, Hattie. Oh. Hattie–
You were so funny. And you were such a gre– well, no, you weren’t a great actress, but you weren’t bad. Hammy, but you never phoned it in. And yes, you could be such a diva, but you made it worthwhile because you had such spunk, such a joie de vivre. I’ll never forget watching “Drag Race” with you, eating those revoltingly salty pork rinds. Oh, did they bloat you. God, did they bloat you. And now, you’re gone. Oh, Hattie, I’m going to miss you so much. [sighs]
What a cruel, cruel twist of fate. The irony is positively Shakespearean. You were so upset thinking you were going to die on the show, which you were not, that you actually died. I wouldn’t kill off Charlemagne, not after just writing her back in. I hope you believe that. Why did you have to come in here so angry like that? You probably stroked out from all that adrenaline. Well, either that or all that sodium and cholesterol finally caught up with you. The LDL. Or is it the HDL? I can never remember. But you did not deserve this. Yes, you could be incredibly annoying and a total diva, as I already mentioned. But you were an incredible person, kind of like a crass, bizarro version of Marlena. I absolutely adored spending time with you, laughing, talking. It was an absolute honor to call you a friend. You were so full of life. How could you be dead?
Will you stop your blubbering?
Hattie! Oh, thank God! You’re alive! [sighs]
They said it could be a while for the ambulance. For some reason, they’re really backed up tonight. So looks like I’m going to have to take care of you myself. But it’s OK. The dispatcher gave me excellent instructions on what to do until they get here. First and foremost, we need to get your fever down.
[coughs]
Oh, are you thirsty?
[clears throat]
Yeah, um–ice water.
[coughs] Thank you, Steph. I honestly don’t know what the hell I would have done without you. [clears throat]
Help is going to be here soon. Let’s just get back to cooling you down.
OK. [sighs] [somber music]
Sarah, thank God.
What is it? What’s wrong?
I just brought Kayla into the ER. They told me I could find you up here.
What happened?
I don’t know. She got her first script for “Body & Soul.” We were running the lines, and she just– she collapsed.
That’s strange. Seth Burns was reading his script when he collapsed.
What? When?
Just a few minutes ago. I was standing right here with him when it happened. They’re treating him now.
How’s he doing?
He’s conscious, but he’s weak. He’s–he’s lightheaded. He’s nauseous. He’s got a really high fever.
Heart racing?
That, too.
That sounds exactly like Kayla. So these symptoms– what do they tell you?
Well, I can’t say for sure, but I think someone may have poisoned them. [somber music]
[sighs] You did this because we took the show in a new direction?
A new direction? A new direction? Is that what you call making a complete mockery of my favorite show? The plot lines are abysmal. The sets are trash. The recasts are a joke. I thought sending my cupcakes would get the message across.
So you poisoned me and half the cast and crew to make a point?
Which is that your reboot is a complete failure. And I needed you to see the error of your ways before “Body & Soul” was damaged beyond repair, even if that meant making sweeping changes to your cast.
Sweeping changes.
I had to clean house, permanently, starting with Bonnie Kiriakis. [tense music]
Yeah, I–I understand that there are no available units. Do you understand that I am here with Charlemagne Delacroix? Huh? No, that is not a Chicago Bulls draft pick. She’s a soap opera goddess. Just–just get somebody here as soon as you can. [sighs]
Am I going to die?
You most certainly are not.
[sighs] I sure do feel like it. I feel like I’m just hot as a firecracker all over.
Well, just keep that cold compress on your képi, and think cool thoughts.
What’s the holdup?
I don’t know. Some kind of city-wide crisis. Reminds me of this time I was in South Beach, and I called a rideshare to take me to a place called Club Caliente, which was anything but. Hour later, still no ride. Turns out traffic was at a standstill because somebody’s pet spider monkey had escaped and was running wild through the streets. So I, in that Floridian humidity, a.k.a. my hair’s worst nightmare, had to walk. All of that is to say this might take a while, so we’re just going to have to do our best to keep you comfy.
Hey, Lenny.
Hmm?
Can I ask you something?
Yeah, anything.
Well, all that sweet stuff you were saying about me there– was it just because you thought I was about to meet that big network executive in the sky?
No. I meant every word, kiddo. [soft music]
I don’t get it. How–how did you go after Bonnie from in here, inside Bayview?
Invisibility has its benefits, Abe.
Invisible. But wasn’t the staff watching you around the clock?
Well, at first, they were. But now, everyone sees me as some poor, grieving woman– eccentric, but mostly harmless. And then when super fan Jason32 posted a photo of one of the actors holding her call sheet, all I had to do was zoom in and I could see when and where and what you were shooting. And then I sent that text to Bonnie Kiriakis from a burner phone.
How’d you get her number?
Hello. It’s called the dark web. [laughs] Come on. That and Soap Twitter–you can find out anything you want.
And you tried to murder Bonnie.
But I didn’t succeed, obviously. The next thing I know, Soap Hub is reporting that you’ve brought on Kayla Johnson.
It was a temporary recast.
It was a travesty. A doctor moonlighting as my Kassandra Lovegood. Oh, no. Hell, no. Kayla had to go. [somber music]
It’s OK, sweetness. Sarah’s going to figure out what’s making you so sick. Just stay with me. Stay with me, baby.
I need you to put a rush on those blood tests. The lives of our head administrator and our chief of staff depend on it. OK.
Sarah?
What happened to him?
I–I don’t know. All of a sudden, he just passed out.
OK, what was he doing right before–
The script.
“Body & Soul.” He–he had just got a script delivered, and he was reading it.
[sighs] Not another one.
Another one? What are you talking about?
I think that Johnny’s script was poisoned.
What?
Yes. We need to get him into a room. I’m going to fill you in on the way. Come on.
So you weren’t happy with Kayla, so you wrote her out of the show?
Like I said, she had to go, just like the other one.
You mean–you mean Bonnie.
She’s not Kassandra Lovegood.
I know how passionate you are about “Body & Soul,” but this– you’ve taken this way too far.
Too far? I’m fighting for my life.
What are you talking about?
“Body & Soul” is not just some TV show to me. It’s–it’s what kept me going after I lost my husband and my cats. That’s why they all had to die. [dramatic music]
So you’re saying that’s why Kassandra had to die in that script you wrote.
No. I mean, I poisoned every last one of those actors you hired. With this.
OK. Thanks for the update.
What’s the word?
They’re sending someone out shortly. How are you feeling?
Better.
Good. Yeah. Yeah, your fever’s definitely down.
Thanks to you.
You think I missed my calling, going into PR? [laughs] Could be right. Maybe I should have gone into medicine, like my mom.
No. No way.
Hey, after that amazing, heroic, life-saving care I just administered, you don’t think I’d make a good doctor?
I think you’d make a fantastic doctor. No question about it. I just don’t want you at anybody else’s bedside. [clears throat] [coughs]
OK, easy. Easy there. OK. All right. Can’t have you dying on me now, Kiriakis. Not after we finally– finally got on the same page about our future.
[sighs] You’re not getting rid of me that easy, Doc.
What is that?
Oh, it’s an experimental drug they’ve been testing here at Bayview for psychotic behavior. Oh, but it has a toxic side effect.
How did you get your hands on it?
[laughs] I’m a nurse, Abe. I know my way around a drug closet.
So you sprayed that on the script you sent to Kayla.
Oh, not just Kayla. I sprayed every script that you sent to every actor. You get a spritz, and you get a spritz, and you get a spritz. But I wore gloves so I didn’t accidentally poison myself.
So anyone that– anyone that handled one of those scripts that you sent out–
Is probably dead. And you’re next. [tense music]
Sarah. Did you figure out what Kayla and Seth Burns were poisoned with?
We think so. And more importantly, we had the antidote right here in the lab.
That’s great news.
Yeah.
So she’s going to be OK?
Yeah, as soon as this makes its way into her system, she– she should make a full recovery. [somber music]
All right. Once this makes its way through Johnny’s system, he’s going to be just fine.
[sighs] Oh, thank Lord. And thank you, too, Sarah.
You’re very welcome.
So you’re sure that he’s going to be OK.
Yeah, Johnny’s going to make a full recovery. Listen–
Yeah?
I need to go check on everyone else that was poisoned tonight and make sure that they’re being treated, OK? I’m going to come back and check on you.
OK.
OK.
Thank you so much, Sarah.
Of course.
I was so scared, Johnny. I could have lost you.
No, not a chance. I am never going to leave you, Chanel.
Yeah. Well, I’ll hold you to that.
OK.
This is a concentrated amount of the drug. As soon as it touches your skin, you’re a dead man. Just–just like my husband.
Whitley, now, you don’t want to do this.
I thought that we had a special bond. And–but after what you’ve done to “Body & Soul,” that bond is forever broken.
Whitley–
You have to die.
Please.
Oh, no, you don’t, heffa. Not on my watch!
[sighs] You know, I texted you my hunch about Whitley. I thought you–
I know. I know. I know. You thought I was going to call the police and have them meet you here, and I did. I did. But Salem is such a mess tonight, even the mayor was going to have to wait.
A lot of people in distress.
Mm-hmm, thanks to her. When that lunatic was locked up in here after kidnapping you, I thought that we were done.
Well, she wasn’t.
Ugh. And I was not about to let you face her alone, so I jumped in my car and headed straight here.
[chuckles] My precious wife.
[chuckles]
I’m so grateful to you.
Oh, and I am so grateful that you’re all right, my darling. Oh, I just pray that the rest of Whitley’s victims got help in time, too.
Whew. Wow. You know what? I–I’m already feeling better. My energy’s coming back, my appetite. Do you think Sarah would let me have a cheeseburger?
[laughs]
What? What’s wrong?
Nothing. Just looking at my husband.
I like hearing you call me that. After what I did, I– I wasn’t sure I ever would again.
[sighs] Look, Johnny, I– if I wasn’t already sure that I wanted to give our marriage another shot, almost losing you just now, it really drove it home for me. You are so important to me, Johnny. And I think that going through what we just went through and finding our way to the other side and finding our way back to each other is going to make our relationship even stronger.
I agree. And you, my beautiful wife– I– you mean everything to me. And I promise you that I’m never going to take you for granted again.
Yeah, well, that goes double for me. [laughs]
All right, you should be fine in a couple hours. But if her conditions worsen, get her to a hospital immediately.
Yes, sir. I know you’re not in the military, but what you do, saving lives– that deserves to be saluted. So I will keep an eye on Hattie, and thank you for your service. Heavens to Betsy Ross am I relieved. My favorite leading lady is going to be OK.
You better not let Bonnie hear you say that.
[laughs] Oh, Hattie, I don’t think I realized how much I adored you until I thought you were dead.
Oh, that’s all it took, huh?
I will be sure to never, ever take you for granted again. I promise.
Oh. Back at you, Lenny.
Come here. [soft music]
You should be fine in a couple hours. But if his condition worsens, get him to a hospital immediately.
Will do. Thank you so much for coming. Oh, my God. I can’t believe that someone poisoned your script.
“Body & Soul,” man, the gift that keeps on giving.
Yeah, I’ll say.
You know, now that I’m starting to come out of this fog a little bit, I did remember something.
What?
Something I was going to do before I collapsed.
Alex, you’re going to have to tell me. It’s been a whirlwind. What were you about to do? [sweet music]
I’m so grateful you’re going to be OK.
I think the antidote is working. I’m really–I’m really feeling so much better.
Good. That’s so good because I– I couldn’t imagine losing you again. I love you so much, baby. [monitor beeping]
I love you, my darling.
Yeah? What about Rhett?
[laughs] What about him?
Aren’t the two of you supposed to get hitched?
I’m already married. And quite happily, I might add.
Don’t you forget it.
Never. So am I to understand that there was poison on my script?
Looks that way.
Do you have any idea who’s behind it?
Not yet, but I can promise you this. I’m going to find out who it was, and I’m going to make them pay.
[whimpers] How could you do this to me, Henry?
Henry?
After all that we’ve been to each other, you expect me to call you Commissioner Marshall?
What is she babbling about?
Henry Marshall. He’s a character on the show.
[laughs] Should have guessed.
Poor thing.
She is definitely one sick puppy.
She has–she has no one. I want to show her some compassion.
Oh, there he is, my Abraham, with his big, forgiving heart. OK, go ahead. Do it. Just do your thing.
Whitley–
Hm?
I’m not Henry Marshall.
Oh, you expect me to believe that you’re his twin brother, William. Well, I’m not buying it.
I am sorry. I truly am.
Oh, well, [chuckles] that’s OK. You know, the heart wants what it wants. Kind of like “Body & Soul,” right? We’ll always have Pineview, though, right?
We will always have Pineview.
OK. OK. OK.
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