Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
Mmm.
Arnold?
Morning.
[soft dramatic music]
– Rafe, look at all these choices.
Yeah.
Oh, I forgot how much work goes into planning a wedding.
Yeah, I’m starting to think that maybe Nicole and I had the right idea getting married at city hall.
Such a romantic.
Well, for me, true romance is gazing into your eyes while I say my vows.
You’ve been working on that one for a while, haven’t you?
Did that not sound off the cuff? I have been rehearsing that for a minute, actually. Yeah.
No, it sounded perfect, just like you.
[tender music]
You know, we should probably table this, though, because don’t you have to get to work?
Oh, yes. You are right. But wait. Before I go, I have a date in mind for the wedding, so we should probably talk about that first.
Oh, okay. What you got?
Why don’t we get married on your birthday?
“Good morning, Capricorn. “Or should we say, beware the morning. “With Pluto dominant and Aquarius taking the reins, consider hibernation as your go-to mode for the day.” Ugh. Happy birthday to me. Why are my horoscopes always such a downer? I really need to talk to Chadwick about hiring a better astrologer. Oh, of course, a new column from Lady Whistlefaux-er. “Here’s some hot goss, fresh off the griddle. “Rumor has it that the old Lady Whistleblower is going crazy”– Ugh. “Old”? I am the only person I know whose birthdays go in reverse. Where was I?
-“is going crazy not knowing who replaced her. In fact, she’s so desperate to figure out yours truly’s true identity, she hired a PI. Sorry to say, this private dick’s barking up the wrong tree. But I do have respect for my elders, and I wouldn’t want the old girl to have a stroke. So who knows? Maybe I’ll just show up at her door and put her out of her misery.” [knocking at door]
[tense jazz music]
Whistleblower? At long last, we finally meet.
I’m not that early, am I?
No. Don’t worry. My dad and grandma already left for work, so we’re alone.
Good. I just had to get out of the house. I mean, I know the abortion appointment isn’t until tomorrow. But I just feel like the sooner we get on the road, the sooner we can get this over with.
Yeah. I wanted to get an early start, too, so– [knocking at door]
[tense music]
Are you expecting someone?
Tate, are you home? It’s Holly.
[soft orchestration] announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”
Tate, are you there?
Go. Go, Kate. You need to hide, like now.
Go?
Yes. Holly can’t know anything about this. You said to me, you don’t want anyone to know either, right?
Fine.
[tense music]
[sighs]
Oh. Hey. There you are. What took you so long?
You’re not Lady Whistleblower. Wait. Are you?
Um, I have no idea what that means.
Never mind. Come in. Come in, come in, come in. [sighs] I’m sorry. This just is not a very good time. There is a gossip columnist trying to ruin my life.
I’m never sure if you’re joking.
It’s my superpower.
Right. Well, I didn’t want to bother you, but I was just hoping you would have some news about that necklace I gave you to sell.
The necklace, right. That’ perfect, perfect necklace. As a matter of fact, Dougie boy, I do.
We could call it a birth-aversary. Okay, yeah, that might need a little workshopping.
Yeah.
But it would be a surefire way for you to remember our anniversary.
Oh, ye of little faith.
No. No, that is not what I meant, okay? I just meant that you are a very important and busy man with a lot on his mind.
Oh, that’s a nice save.
Mm.
But it is coming fast, you know. My birthday’s end of January.
Yes, I know. But remember, we did talk about doing it soon, so no? Unless– unless you are afraid of being forced to share the spotlight with your bride on your special day. Would that be an issue?
Actually, I can’t think of a better present.
Mm.
Mwah.
Mm. You know, I am beginning to like this idea.
It’s okay.
Yeah. Okay. Later, birthday boy.
Okay, bye.
[soft music]
Arnold, are you out of your mind? What in God’s name do you think you’re doing?
I’m enjoying this breakfast. That’s what. You’re man, Harold, I got to tell you, he’s something else. You know, he cuts these strawberries into these little flowers. It’s a little girly, but– you want some?
No, I do not want some. Is that my robe?
This is yours?
Yes.
Oh. Well, I spotted on a hanger, and I got to tell you, this thing is so plush. I mean, it is so soft and silky. It feels really good on my naked body. But if you want it back–
No, no, no, no. Keep it–keep it on. Consider it a gift, in fact– a parting gift.
Who says I’m parting?
I do, damn it. Now, you’ve had your fun. It’s time to leave. So get dressed and get the hell out of my house.
What’s the rush? I just got here. Oh, by the way, you got any more of this vodka? This OJ, it could use a kick.
Arnold, we went over all of this last night in excruciating detail. I can’t have anyone else seeing you and me together. My son, Johnny, walking in on us like that could have been a total disaster.
But it wasn’t, right? The kid thought I was Rafe.
But you are not Rafe. And my son is not an idiot. And he will figure that out if you stick around.
EJ, you need to relax, okay? Just relax, right? I mean, I saw him. I saw him and his hot wife earlier. He already left for work.
Did they see you?
Oh, my God. You need to take a chill pill, okay? We’re good.
No. No, we are not good. We are far from good. What if Johnny bumps into Rafe and mentions seeing him here yesterday?
Mm-hmm.
Rafe will be dumbfound and confused– his natural state, of course– but he will send that into overdrive, meaning our respective gooses would be cooked.
Uh, no. Your goose will be cooked. My goose will be fine.
Good morning, Rafe.
Mayor Price.
I’m sorry to just show up unannounced, although that is one of the perks of holding Salem’s highest elected office.
Right. Well, if you’re looking for Jada, she just left.
Not surprising at this hour. She’s always punctual. Oh. Not that you weren’t.
Yeah, of course. But if you want to meet her, I’m sure she’s at the office.
I could, but I came to see you.
Me? Hmm. What about?
Well, actually, I’d like to talk about our fair city’s new police commissioner, the aforementioned Jada. I would like to give her every opportunity to succeed.
Well, I’m glad to hear it. So do I.
Oh. Well, I’m glad to hear that. And if you truly mean it, you need to stay the hell out of her way.
[tense music]
Belle, this is getting to be a habit.
Oh. Not a bad one, I hope.
Oh, no, not at all. I’m almost always happy to see you.
While others never are, or–
Well, this probably isn’t news to you, but, you know, our DA was none too happy that you made that deal for Mark Greene.
Ah. Well, then he should have been better prepared. He tried to railroad that guy into serving ten years for crimes that were committed in France, which was kind of a unique strategy, considering EJ doesn’t have jurisdiction there.
Sounds like you beat him at his own game.
Yeah. And I just came from doing it again, actually.
You were in court this early?
Well, I was with the judge and an ADA in chambers. Turns out, EJ tried to question Hattie Adams behind my back, knowing full well that she was represented by counsel. So I got the judge to let her go.
Damn. That means I won’t be able to prove that she tainted those cupcakes.
No. Well, don’t blame me. Blame EJ.
Oh, I do. Say, are you in a rush?
Not really. Why?
Let’s talk in my office.
You sold the necklace? What did you get for it?
All right. Slow your roll, you master thief, you. It’s still here, but I did find someone who will sell it for me.
Oh. That’s good.
Well, don’t sound too excited.
No, no, no. I’m very thankful. Thank you. But I just wish I didn’t have to do this, you know? Like I told you before, my grandfather’s wife has been really nice to me. And this necklace– it was in that time capsule for over 50 years, you know? It’s a family heirloom.
[soft dramatic music]
Well…
If you want to give it back, there’s still time.
I was starting to think you were hiding from me.
No, no, no. I was just in the other room, packing. And I didn’t hear the door. You know, just getting ready for my trip.
Right.
So why’d you come over? I thought we said goodbye last night.
Yeah, we did. But– okay, well, now it feels kind of silly to say, but since crackers cost, like, $20 at the airport, I made lemon squares with my grandma and Aunt Sarah. Thought you might want some for the plane.
Wow. Thank you. That is– that’s really thoughtful.
[tense music]
Anyway, I don’t want to make you miss your flight, so I should go.
[tense music]
I’ll miss you.
I’ll miss you too. And you better think about me constantly, or there will be consequences, mister.
I’m going to be with my grandparents. Trust me. You’re all I’ll be thinking about. And thank you, again, for the concert tickets. It was really sweet. Sorry we couldn’t use them.
It’s okay. There’ll be other concerts.
Hey, why don’t you go anyway?
Oh, uh, I don’t have anyone to go with.
What do you mean? All of our friends stayed home for the break. Surely one of them has to be free. Come on. Take them. Don’t let them go to waste.
Yeah, sure.
All right.
Thanks. Listen. Don’t feel bad about taking this trip, okay? It’s important for you to see your grandparents.
You’re right. It is. Thanks again for the lemon squares.
Try not to eat them all within the first hour. That’s what I usually do. I love you.
I love you too.
Okay. Text me from the plane.
I will.
And call me when you land.
I definitely will do that.
Bye.
Bye.
Sorry to be such an inconvenience.
I know I should give it back. I really want to. But I can’t. I really need the money to pay those people off.
[gasps] Hold on a minute. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before.
You have a way out for me?
Huh? Oh, no. This isn’t about you, per se. It occurs to me that this would make a great story for my show. Don’t worry. Nobody will be able to connect it back to you.
Um…
You have no idea how much I have to stay on top of these kinds of things. A show that airs five days a week– it’s like an evil taskmaster, a giant that never stops needing to be fed, Kim Kardashian when there’s a camera around.
Right. Take your time.
Okay. Sorry. Listen. I know what it’s like to be in the kind of bind that you’re in. And I know that you feel horrible hurting someone that you care about. But if it makes you feel any better, your grandfather’s family already thinks the necklace is gone. They’ll get over it. And you will too. No. I mean, I need to play that differently if I want it to last more than two scenes. Okay. You want my advice? Get the money, pay these jerks off, and put this behind you.
[light jazz music]
I have been fully briefed about what happened in the Hattie Adams case. You spoke to her with your citizen’s arrest, so she lawyered right up. That killed Jada’s shot to question her first.
It was my citizen’s arrest that allowed Hattie to be questioned in the first place.
Oh, that may be. But if Jada isn’t able to procure any evidence, the district attorney can’t make his case, which means that we can’t bring the criminal to justice. And I’m sure I don’t have to remind you, I have a vested interest in this case. My husband was poisoned by that miscreant.
I’m aware. But I was hired as a private investigator and, well, I can’t help it if I got there first.
Well, there’s no denying that you’re good at what you do.
Well, yes, which is why you replaced me.
Now, you know that wasn’t personal. You were out of commission, so to speak. And Jada, she did such a stellar job in your absence. I didn’t want to cause another disruption to the department by turning around and replacing her.
It just makes me even more sense the more you rationalize it.
Now, now, now, now, please, please, just let me get to my point. Rafe, I’ve come to realize that, you know, I could– I could still use on my team, a man of your skill set, with your very impressive work ethic.
Hmm. So you’re here, offering me a job?
Actually, yes. No, obviously not as police commissioner. That position is already taken. How would you like to be my rat czar?
Your goose would not be fine, Arnold. I know it’s been a few years. And just in case your memory has failed you, you were facing serious felony charges before my father and I faked your death and spirited you out of the country. If the police were to find out that you are, in fact, still alive, you would be arrested on the spot and your charges immediately reinstated.
Man, that sounds horrible. I wonder why I’m not worried.
Because you’re not thinking straight.
No. Actually, it’s because I know that I wouldn’t go to prison.
The authorities would beg to differ.
Right. Except you are the authorities, aren’t you?
[tense music]
Congrats on the new job. Shawn used to tell me about his time working with you, so I’m sure you’re going to be a great commissioner.
Thanks. And I probably shouldn’t admit this, but taking over has been pretty intimidating, and not just because of who my predecessor is, but, you know, it’s a big responsibility. And I want to do the very best job I can for Mayor Price and for the city.
Of course. And I’m sure she has no doubt you will.
I’m going to give it my all, yeah. But you see, this office requires that I work hand-in-hand with the district attorney, which means that I can only be as good as EJ is.
Well, that’s the name of the game, right?
Yeah, but the game’s not so great when you’re attached at the hip with a guy who’s botched as many cases as he has lately.
Well, not to defend EJ, but, you know, when the facts are against you, it’s–
Yeah, but this isn’t about the facts. I mean, look at the two cases that he just lost to you. Both times, he tried some underhanded move, and all it did was come back to bite him.
True. Well, some might argue that he’s just very determined to win at all costs.
Except when he isn’t. You see, the botched cases aren’t the whole story. Whenever EJ has a conflict of interest, he just– he simply declines prosecuting the guilty party. Yeah. So as you can see, my hands are tied. It doesn’t matter how many criminals I catch. If EJ doesn’t put them away, I mean, that makes me look bad. And I don’t like looking bad.
What are you saying?
I’m saying that I would rather work with someone like you.
[soft dramatic music]
I’m sorry about that. Holly bought me those tickets as a Christmas present, and I had to tell her something about why I couldn’t use them.
Oh, so I spoiled your special present. Wow, even better. Okay. Forget it. Sorry. I’m being a bitch. I just–I guess I didn’t realize you two were at the “I love you” stage.
Yeah. It just happened on Christmas.
[tense music]
I guess Holly must have been the good one this year. She gets “I love you,” and… I get to have an abortion.
Yeah. It’s okay, Madison. I figured you might be busy tonight. Mm-hmm. We’ll just do something another night. Okay. Cool. I’ll see you then.
[phone beeps] Oh. Hey, Doug. It’s Holly. We met on Christmas Eve.
Oh, yeah. I remember you. Hi. You taking advantage of the after-holiday sale?
Not exactly. Although I could give you a belated Christmas present. Would you like these tickets to see Mystic Brew? They’re a great band, if you don’t know them.
I do know them. They’re amazing. These are for tonight?
Yeah, it’s kind of late notice, sort of a re-gift, actually. I didn’t have anyone to go with, so I don’t want them to go to waste.
Well, then why don’t we go together?
[soft music]
You want me to be your rat czar? As in, like, “The Nutcracker”?
Oh, I um– I believe that you’re thinking of the Mouse King. The rat czar is someone who is in charge of strategizing about how to keep the rodent population down. Rats are a public nuisance. They carry a lot of diseases.
Wow. Who knew?
Eradicating them is vital to my administration. Now, the person in charge would be literally saving lives– human ones, I mean.
Yeah, right. So who’s in charge of this job now?
Well, no one, yet. Using New York as an example, they’ve implemented a program there called Rat Action Plan, which has not only been quite successful, but the director of said plan is highly respected, as you would be.
Highly respected for taking out rats?
I promise you, it is a critical job, not to mention well paid. Well, what do you say?
Hmm.
You want me to replace EJ as DA?
Why not? I mean, you’ve been in town for, what, five minutes, and you’ve been winning cases left and right.
I hardly think winning two cases is all that impressive.
Three. Or are you forgetting how you just got Philip Kiriakis reinstalled as CEO of Titan?
Co-CEO, and that was a civil case.
Look. A win is a win. Belle, you are very good at what you do, okay? That is obvious. And I am very good at what I do. So I think you and I would make a very, very great team.
Well, Jada, I mean, the job’s not even yours to offer. Mayor Price has to appoint the DA.
True. But I’m an excellent saleswoman. I mean, not that I’ll need to work that hard to sell it, considering Mayor Price’s own issues with EJ.
I just don’t know.
Belle, when I hired Shawn back, he told me that the two of you were getting divorced. Are your reservations because of him?
So you know. Well, yes, that’s part of it. Shawn and I have quite a history, and I think working together this closely, it’s–
I think you’re more of a pro than you’re giving yourself credit for.
Well, thank you for saying that, but there’s more.
More?
I also have a history with EJ.
I may be the district attorney, but I answer to the mayor, who, in turn, answers to the citizens of Salem, many of whom were none too thrilled that you posed as the beloved Rafe Hernandez and bedded my wife.
Yeah, huh. Sami Brady– she was a real pistol.
You raped her, Arnold.
Mm. I don’t remember hearing “no” that night.
That hardly makes her a willing participant. She thought you were Rafe. Now, why she would sleep with him, that’s another story. But the point is, Samantha was incapable of consent.
Yeah, well, it seems like a gray area to me.
Hmm. Well, the murder of Fay Walker sure as hell wasn’t a gray area. And for that, you will be arrested. And for that, you will be prosecuted. And what will you do then?
Oh, well, I guess I’ll just do what I did last time when Bo and Hope Brady tried to throw the book at me. I’ll just offer to testify against you.
[tense music]
You want to go together?
I mean, there are two tickets. Unless you have other plans. Is that why you wanted to get rid of these?
No. They were just a Christmas gift for my boyfriend. But he’s going on a trip, so–
Oh, hey. I wasn’t asking you, like, a date or anything. I just–you said you liked the band, and I don’t know anyone in town, so– Look, I know you want to do right by your boyfriend. I understand that. So maybe you could run it by him first. Would that make you feel better?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, it would. Good idea.
[soft acoustic music]
[soft dramatic music]
Sophia… I’m really sorry that you had to hear that, okay? Obviously, I didn’t plan on Holly coming over.
Oh, but she had to, right? Since she went through all the trouble of baking those lemon bars for your trip, you know, perfect little girlfriend that she is.
Okay. All right. Can we just not talk about Holly, please, and just focus on what we need to do here?
Okay, fine.
Okay. All right. Since we have to go out of state for the appointment, we should probably get our stories straight.
I thought we already had them straight. You told Holly that you were going to visit your grandparents in California, right?
Yeah. And I told my dad the same thing. What about you?
I told my parents that after I finished my shift at The Bistro, I’m going to check out colleges with Brianna and her family, you know, take a last look before I decide where I want to go, if I go.
You will, okay? We’re going to fix this. I’ll just get my bag, and we’ll hit the road, okay?
Guess it’s some consolation Holly won’t be having any fun either. I wonder if she found anyone to use those tickets.
He’s still not answering.
Maybe he already left.
He wasn’t finished packing when I saw him. You know what? He probably just doesn’t have his ringer on, or he isn’t near his phone. How about this? I’m going to run back to his place, see if I can catch him before he leaves. How about you just– Just put your number in, and I’ll text you, okay?
Okay, cool. Just let me know what he says.
Well, I got to tell you, Mayor Price, I am flattered that you would think of me for such a highly esteemed position.
Why do I get the sense that you’re turning me down?
Yeah, I’m getting a sense too. I’m getting a sense that you only offered me this job so that you can keep me on the sidelines, you know, so I don’t embarrass your new commissioner. And yeah, well, I may have won this battle. Who knows who’s going to win the next one. But the one thing I do know– I love Jada, and I am not going to let some professional rivalry come between us.
[tense music]
As to my offer for being rat czar?
Yes, the offer. Actually, I have a counteroffer. You can take the job and shove it– respectfully, of course. You’re going to have to have someone else deal with your rats.
I’m not sure if Shawn told you about my history with EJ back when you were partners.
Yeah. Well, he did mention something about it, but he certainly didn’t go into detail.
Right. Well, I mean, obviously, EJ and I are long over. We’re just colleagues now.
Colleagues who go toe-to-toe in the courtroom.
That’s true. We do spar, quite contentiously sometimes. And, you know, I just– I don’t want to take his job from him.
That’s very admirable of you. But if your real concern is sparing EJ his job, then you might as well know that if I get my way, he’s gone, no matter what.
Well, it’s not the only reason. I mean, I don’t even know how long I’m going to be in town.
Okay, okay. But, you know, Paulina may be open to hiring you if you can just at least commit to a certain amount of time. We could sell it like it’s a transitional move. So knowing that, could you at least consider it? – You keep making me out to be the bad guy here.
Yeah. But in case it slipped your mind, it was you. It was and your father that arranged for me to have the plastic surgery, so I could have Rafe’s mug. And it was also and your father who switched me out for Rafe when he had that car accident, right? So let’s stop pretending now, shall we? It’s also going to be you who pays for my crimes. Oh, you know what? Scratch that. Because your old man– your old man, he’s dead now, isn’t he? Yeah, that’s right. So guess what? It’s going to be you– you who’s left holding the bag.
[tense music]
I never asked you to sleep with Samantha or to kill Fay, for that matter.
Nevertheless.
Arnold, come on. Be reasonable. Why would you want to be here? I’m offering you good money to leave. If you were smart, you would take it.
Yeah, well, I’ve never been accused of being all that smart, so… it looks like I’m going to stay put.
[bright guitar music]
Did you do it?
I did. The necklace is sold.
Oh, thank God. As much as I didn’t want to do this, at least I can get these people off my back.
Okay. Before you get too excited, it’s not as much as you thought it would be.
It sure as hell isn’t. Damn.
I’m sorry. It’s the best I could do. Hey, if it’s any consolation, I’m not to take my normal 0%, okay?
I appreciate that. Thank you. But it’s not going to make a difference. They were expecting the full amount.
So what are you going to do?
I don’t know. I’ll have to figure out something.
I got your message.
Madam Mayor, I appreciate you coming in.
You wanted to discuss something with me?
I do. It’s about replacing EJ DiMera as DA.
Let’s back this up a tad, shall we? I mean, if you hate Argentina so much, there’s a whole planet worth of places to choose from.
[doorbell chimes]
You want me to get that?
No. No, I do not. You stay put. I’ll get rid of whoever it is. Clean this mess up.
[suspenseful music]
Okay.
What? What’s with the look? Am I not allowed to have any of these? Because I am eating for two, you know, at least for now.
[soft dramatic music]
Sophia… are you sure that you’re okay with this?
Well, that’s not the point, is it? I mean, it’s not like you want to have a baby, so… It’s what we have to do. Come on. Let’s go.
Okay.
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Angeles at the Second City, the Groundlings, ACME Comedy Theatre and I.O. West.
