Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne and Thane
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
[doorbell ringing]
Coming. Oh, Leo, what a surprise.
I know, I know, I know. I shouldn’t just drop by unannounced for an impromptu session or even just to shoot the breeze, but I’m hoping you won’t be too annoyed with me, because, ta-da, I brought scones.
“Scones”? That’s so kind of you. I’m really not in the mood.
Oh, no, what’s wrong?
Well… I had an argument with my daughter this morning.
About what?
Well, I wanted to take her some coffee, and–
And?
And…
And?
And she wasn’t alone.
Ah. So you walked in on Belle and some guy in flagrante delicto? Who was said guy?
I’m not going to talk about that.
Oh, you’re gonna make me guess? Fine, I’ll throw out names. You blink twice if I’m right. Shawn Brady, Philip Kiriakis, Dr. Seth Burns.
EJ Di– [gasps] [dramatic music]
* For he’s a jolly good fellow * * For he’s a jolly good fellow * * For he’s a jolly good fellow * * Which nobody can deny * Yay. Happy birthday, Rafe. Should be a good one. After all, you have so many reasons to celebrate. [ominous music] [clapping hands]
[humming Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus”] * * Rise and shine, bride-to-be. Coffee’s almost done. [resumes humming tune] Who’s ready to get married today?
[sighs]
Wow. That was meant to be rhetorical.
How are you feeling?
Like there is no chance that this wedding is going to happen.
[sighing] Okay.
[knock at door]
Oh, room service. Finally. [grunts] Hey.
[imitates fanfare] [chuckles] Happy birthday!
Can we turn that down a little bit?
Yeesh, you look like hell. I mean, I had a feeling you would after how crazy last night got. Here.
What’s this?
Come on, you know what it is. Ceviche.
Shrimp… for breakfast?
Yes. Abuela’shangover cure.
Yes. Yes. Right, right. But, uh, I already ordered room service, so, um… Yeah. What are–what are you doing here so early for, anyway?
What–what do you think? I’m here to help you get ready for your wedding.
Yeah. That’s go– I got it covered, though. So you know what? Why don’t you– why don’t you go help Jada? Because I’m sure that she has got, like, a million things to do.
I smell something good. Is our breakfast here? Sorry. I didn’t know you had company.
Neither did I.
[soft orchestration]
announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”
Oh, I can’t believe this.
Yeah, I’ll bet seeing EJ DiMera naked is pretty unbelievable.
No, I mean, I can’t believe that I just blurted that out.
Oh, Dr. Evans, it’s all right. And I assure you, I won’t repeat a word of this to anyone. And, frankly, I’m honored that you confided in me.
Well, you know what? I don’t have anyone to confide in anymore. I mean, John is gone, and… well, I can’t very well confide in Belle about this.
I can see you’re very upset.
I’m so upset. Not just because of the way I feel about EJ, but… because I know what this will do to– to Sami and Belle’s relationship, not to mention Shawn.
Huh?
Shawn. Shawn showed up when all that was going on. – Shawn BradyShawn?
Yeah.
[gasps]
Yeah. And then EJ walked out. And it was pretty clear to Shawn… Belle and EJ had spent the night together.
Wow. Awkward.
Very awkward.
Oh. I am so, so sorry.
Mm.
Was EJ still naked when Shawn showed up?
Leo.
What? It’s not exactly irrelevant, because if he had been dressed, Shawn could have assumed that he was there for a business meeting?
Oh… no… he wasn’t fully dressed.
Hmm.
So Shawn could have assumed… very well what was happening… that the two of them had spent the night together. Oh, my gosh, I can’t believe that I’m saying all this to a gossip columnist.
Uh, no, a former gossip columnist. And you’re not telling me anything that hasn’t already been in a “Body & Soul” script.
Yes, that’s true. That’s true. But that’s a script. I mean, this is– this is real life. Oh! I can’t believe I’ve been so indiscreet. I mean, that’s the kind of thing that you only tell to a really, really close, trusted friend.
You know what this means, right? Maybe you’ve confided in me because you think of me as a really close, trusted friend. [chuckles]
Boom, there. Now we’re appropriately festive. And let’s not forget. [tense music]
Well… make a wish. Come on.
[exhaling weakly]
Oh, for God’s sake… Come on.
I wish you were dead.
Ah, ah, ah, you said it out loud. Now it’s not going to come true. But since I’m in a very generous mood, I’m gonna take that wish personally. You can have your cake and eat it, too– or muffin, in this case. Come on. Here, have at it. What’s the matter? Too vain to, uh, dive in face-first? Come on.
Knowing you, it’s poisoned.
Now, why would I do that? I wouldn’t be able to see the look on your face when I share the good news.
What good news?
Well, today is not only your birthday, it’s also your wedding day.
[groans] My head is pounding.
Oh, boy, okay. Uh, On a scale of one to ten, how bad?
Way beyond ten. Like, we’re talking a whole new scale. [groans] How am I supposed to get ready in four hours and I can’t even think straight?
It’s okay. You just need a little caffeine. Here.
Oh, thank you. But short of mainlining it, girl, I don’t think I stand a chance.
Relax, I got your back, okay? Starting today, we’re family. So put all the worries out of your mind. I promise, you’re going to walk down that aisle, because if you don’t, a certain someone will kill me.
No, Rafe wouldn’t blame you.
Mm. No, forget Rafe. I’m talking about Javi. He’s so invested in planning this wedding, you’d think he was the one getting married.
[chuckles] Well, speaking of Javi, where is he? Why isn’t he here?
Oh, I told him that Stephanie and I had everything under control. She’ll be here in a few, by the way. And as for Javi, he’s got a much more difficult task ahead of him.
Mm, more difficult than reviving the corpse bride?
[laughs] Yeah. He’s, uh, helping Rafe get ready. My brother is the only one who partied harder than you did last night, so…
Yeah, uh, don’t mind Javi. He was just, uh, leaving.
Wait a minute. I know you. You were at the party last night.
[mockingly] And you were the entertainment. So what are you doing here, in my cousin’s room, wearing nothing but a towel?
[chuckles] I should get changed.
Yeah. [door opens, closes] All right, listen, this– this is not what it looks like, all right? I can explain.
Oh, you better. So go ahead, explain.
Yeah.
Best friends.
Best friends?
Listen, don’t be concerned about offending anybody. Best friend is a tier, not a title. Not that I’m aware of anyone else in the running.
Oh. Well, I-I did have several best friends. I guess they’ve left town by now. But that’s what texting and social media is for, huh?
Dr. Evans, you cannot watch “Drag Race” with an avatar. Well, you can, but it would be a different experience. Bonding over who should sashay away is sacred.
Leo, you’re still my patient.
I haven’t had a real appointment in ages. That professional boundary has long been breached.
Yeah. I have only myself to blame for that, don’t I?
Oh, no, no, don’t think of this as some deep, dark shame. Look, I didn’t haul my tush over here with fresh pastry so you could bill me for an hour. I came here because something wonderful happened, and… I just–I just wanted to share it with you.
Tell me what happened.
Javi and I got back together. [chuckles] [soft music]
I can’t believe you, man.
Listen, man, you got it all wrong, all right? I can explain.
Oh, this should be good.
Yeah, okay? I-I, um– I forgot my scarf at the bachelor party.
Oh, your scarf.
Yeah, my scarf, okay? And Savannah was nice enough to bring it to me. The problem was, when she got here, she’d been drinking, so… Yeah–So I didn’t think it was smart for her to drive, and I thought it was best if she spent the night here. [dramatic music]
So she spent the night? Where exactly?
[scoffs]
[ominous music]
You and Jada planned on getting married today? Don’t tell me it slipped your mind.
We never set a date. We only talked about getting married today… right before I saw you with Arnold.
The beginning of your stay in my lovely home.
How the hell did you know about our plans?
Because your bride-to-be went along with them. Jada is getting married today.
I have to admit– I was surprised at how much Rafe was enjoying his bachelor party.
Yeah, well, I guess everyone gets a little wild the night before their wedding, right, Commissioner?
I suppose. [knock at door]
Mm, I’ll get it.
Mm-hmm. [door opens] There you are.
Hey! Oh! Sorry for the delay. I, um–I stopped by the “Body & Soul” studio on the way here. And not to brag, but your glam squad scored some Hollywood-level cosmetics for your big day.
Mm.
[chuckles] Not that you need it. You are already the most beautiful bride in the world.
Well, given how I feel, that is debatable.
Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I’m just taking your look to the next level.
Well, if you’re all set here, I’ll meet you both at St. Luke’s.
Oh, you’re leaving?
I just have to take care of something. But don’t worry–I promise I’ll be back in plenty of time to watch you and my brother tie the knot.
Okay.
Okay. [light music]
Jada’s getting married today. [scoffs] You’re out of your mind. She’s out there following every lead, knocking on every door, looking for me.
Rafe, Rafe, Rafe, look, I know that you’re rattled, but it’s still a bit concerning to me that you don’t recall what I told you when this first came up. And that is, Jada is not looking for you because she doesn’t think you’re missing, which means she’s had plenty of time to plan her wedding to… [dramatic music]
Arnold.
[imitates gunshots]
I didn’t want Savannah driving home, so I thought it was best that she sleep in my bed. I slept on the floor, of course. Isn’t that right?
That’s right. Rafe was a perfect gentleman.
So you’re saying nothing happened between you two?
Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying.
Yeah, well, there’s just one problem. I don’t believe a word of it. So just fess up and say you guys slept together. [soft music]
Gabi. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Believe me, the pleasure is all mine.
So how are you feeling?
Well, a little more human now that I’m on my third cup. [chuckles]
I wasn’t talking about your hangover. I mean, how are you feeling? Any butterflies?
No, no, I’m–I’m not nervous. I mean, no more than anybody would be before their wedding. You know, I have done this before, after all.
Right.
Yeah.
Everett. Or, um, Bobby, technically.
Yeah. I mean… that marriage, it didn’t end how I had hoped.
Oh.
But if there was one silver lining through that whole disaster, it’s that it brought you and me closer, so… Uh, I mean, having you as my maid of honor, it just really feels so right.
I love you, Jada.
I love you, too.
You’re sick. You’re a sick bastard. I will make you pay for this, EJ.
Don’t blame me. Blame your fiancée. This could have all been avoided had she not conspired with the mayor to have me fired. When you cross a DiMera, there will be a reprisal. If you take a shot at the king, as they say.
And this is your revenge? This is your revenge? Marrying an unsuspecting woman off to a maniac? What do you think’s gonna happen on their wedding night?
Relax. Arnold Feniger is not sleeping with anyone today.
Okay, fine. We had sex, okay? Why are you making such a big deal out of it?
Are you kidding me? You’re getting married to Jada in, like, four hours. You proposed to her with my mother’s engagement ring– you know, the one she left to you instead of me so that you can give it to the love of your life.
So?
So? So now you’re making a mockery of that gift by sleeping with a stripper.
Whoa.
I am an exotic dancer, thank you very much. And for the record, I didn’t cheat on anyone. So, if there’s no breakfast coming, then I’ll just leave and spare myself your judgment. [dramatic music]
[door slams]
Wow.
How could you do this to Jada?
I can see that you’re upset.
Yeah, damn right, I’m upset.
Yeah, well, get over it. Get over it, because you are not gonna breathe a word of this to anyone. Do you hear me?
So, then after all the details about the new “Body & Soul” storyline show up in Lady Whistleblower’s column…
Oh, the one about devil possession?
Well, you know what they say– imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So, anyway, then I head over to Javi’s place, where I find him in bed with Kerry, who I blow the whistle on just in time, because five minutes later, a different whistle of Kerry’s would have been blown, if you catch my drift.
Well, subtlety was never your long suit.
Point is, Javi then throws Kerry’s sorry ass out of the house. It was incredible. Better than “Waiting to Exhale.” Full-on Angela Bassett walking away from that cheating bastard’s car after setting it on fire. So then, Dr. Evans, Javi takes me into this big romantic kiss. It was everything.
I’m so glad it worked out.
Oh, I’m not done. Then I spent the night, and we had sex–lots and lots of sex.
Are you sure that was a good idea?
Not a good idea? I thought sex was like Paris– always a good idea.
Paris, yes. Sex, not always. The last time you behaved so–so hastily, it ended up badly for both of you.
Mm, that breakup had nothing to do with our relationship speedometer, as you know all too well, because I kvetched to you about it endlessly. It’s because I accused Javi of spying on me.
I know. I’ve told you so many times– you can’t build a relationship on a faulty foundation.
So are you saying my relationship is doomed? [dramatic music]
May I say, wow… you look amazing.
So do you. [chuckles] I mean thank you.
So where are you off to looking so gorgeous?
My brother’s wedding.
Right, that’s today. Not that I’m not happy to see you, but, uh… what are you doing here?
Excuse me?
It’s just, aren’t you a little busy?
I most certainly am. Well, I’ve been helping Jada get ready and putting out fires all morning. I’m exhausted.
I’ll bet.
[chuckles] But there is one very important detail that I totally forgot to take care of, which I hope that you can help me rectify.
Whatever you need.
It’s about my plus-one.
Your plus-one?
Well, someone needs to be mine, and… I was hoping that someone could be you. [romantic music]
[humming] Mm, mm-hmm. Are you still not feeling up for this?
No, no, I’m feeling much better now. Thanks.
Oh, okay, good. After everything you and Rafe went through this past year, you must be so happy to finally be getting married.
Yeah. Yeah, it’s amazing. [chuckles]
Jada, what’s wrong?
Nothing, nothing. I’m fine.
You might have been able to fool Gabi but not me. Talk to me.
It’s–it’s stupid. It’s just that I haven’t heard from Rafe, you know? I mean, I know he wanted to be traditional and sleep apart the night before the wedding, but… I thought that I would for sure get a call from him at least before we walked down the aisle.
I already gave you my word that Arnold wouldn’t lay a hand on Jada.
You know what that monster did to Sami. How the hell could you let this happen to someone else?
I will never let that happen again! I made sure of it!
How, EJ? How? Jada thinks that she is marrying me. You don’t think that she’s going to want to be with her husband on her wedding night? Oh, and, what, Arnold’s just going to be like, oh, no, it’s okay? You need to stop this, EJ.
Settle down, Rafe. I’ve taken all of this into account. Before the happy couple heads up to the honeymoon suite, all of Salem is going to receive some very distressing news.
What news?
Oh, I didn’t mention it? Jada Hunter is gonna be outed as a corrupt cop. [dramatic music]
I thought it was kind of adorable that Rafe wanted to spend the night somewhere else.
So did I, but just because we slept apart the night before, you know, I thought I would at least get a text good night. I mean, I understand him not wanting to see me before the ceremony, but… I don’t know. I just– I feel like I’m being ghosted.
Well, this may come as a surprise to you, but that phone of yours, it works both ways. Did you call him?
[sighs] Fair enough. [chuckles]
Besides, it’s still early. I bet Javi is putting him through the ringer, trying to make him look presentable. I mean, I’m sure he’ll call you as soon as he can.
Yeah, but… it’s not just about some silly text or phone call.
Then what is this about?
It’s just that… something’s been really off about Rafe lately.
Are you kidding me, Rafael? You want me to keep quiet about the fact that you cheated on your fiancée?
Exactly. Fiancée. Fiancée. We are not married, so no commandments were broken. And besides, it’s not your secret to tell.
Oh, s-so, what? So, no harm, no foul? How could you hurt Jada like this?
I didn’t hurt her, all right? I didn’t hurt her because she doesn’t know about it. What are you going to do, huh? Are you going to tell Jada, huh? You going to ruin her big day, my big day? Because of what? Because of a little extracurricular activity at a bachelor party?
This isn’t some ’80s movie. Most bachelor parties don’t end up with the groom having sex with someone else.
Yeah, you said you never even went to a bachelor party. From where I stand, that actually was pretty tame. I mean, it’s not like the stripper died or anything.
Oh, my God.
It was a joke, okay? A joke. The bottom line is this– it is not unusual for people to sow their wild oats before they settle down, all right?
This just doesn’t seem like you.
Okay. Well, agree to disagree. The bottom line is this– you do not breathe a word about this. You hear me? Not one.
I never said your relationship was doomed.
Well, you may as well have. Dr. Evans, I’d think you’d be a little more encouraging. Javi and I finally put this Lady Whistleblower business behind us, and it just felt right. Why would we wait after being apart for so long? [gasps] You know what I think? I think you’re projecting.
I beg your pardon?
Oh, that’s right. I remember all the terms you taught me in therapy. I’m telling you about Javi and me, but you’re thinking about walking in on Belle and EJ. Projecting.
You’re right.
And another thing, if you– I’m what?
You’re right. You’re right. Yeah, I was–I was thinking about you and Javi, and I was–I was concerned that you might get hurt… because I don’t want that to happen, because I– I care so much about you.
[scoffs] Sort of like a… best friend?
[scoffs] Best friends. You and your best friends. Yes, just like best friends.
Come here. Come here.
[chuckles]
So what happened? Someone cancel on you?
No, I was gonna ask you earlier.
Well, then why didn’t you?
Because I lost my damn nerve. [chuckles] Uh… I– Look, we haven’t been seeing each other for very long, and I know being my date to my family wedding is sort of a big deal. I was worried that you might think I was rushing things.
Well, I’ll admit– I was, uh… wondering whether you were going to ask… and what it would mean.
Or we could disregard any meaning this might have. And it’s just a party… a very elegant party where people will profess their love to each other in front of all my family…
Hmm.
But a party, nonetheless. And, uh, maybe it’s just as simple as, I like you, and you like me. And it would be really fun to go together. So what do you say? You want to be my date?
I don’t like this. In fact, I hate it.
All right, well, noted. [chuckles] But you’ll still do me this solid, right? Hey, we’re family. We’re family, and family looks out for each other, right? Come on, huh?
Jada’s my family now, too.
What are you– Where you going?
You can get ready without me.
All right, but you’re not going to say anything, right?
No. I won’t.
All right.
God, help me.
All right, well, I’ll see you at St. Luke’s. [dramatic music] [door closes] [sighs]
[sighs]
What do you mean something’s off with Rafe?
He’s just been different… for a while now.
How so?
Well, like the fact that he was getting all handsy with the dancer last night… that was just so not him.
Yeah, I mean, I didn’t love that.
Me neither. And the fact that he hired EJ as a client– He can’t stand that man. He hates him like poison. Why on Earth would he want to work with him?
Well, didn’t he say that he was trying to get some extra cash for the wedding? That’s kind of sweet, if you think about it that way.
Yeah, yeah, and–and I did appreciate that gesture, but… Okay, Black Patch is not short on clients. He didn’t tell Steve, and he didn’t even tell me. It’s just–it’s so weird. And then EJ practically lost his job because of me. But he’s totally fine hiring my fiancé? Something about this doesn’t add up.
I don’t blame you for needing me to put the pieces together. You do have a lot on your mind, after all. So I will tell you how this is going to work. Jada will lose her job. That will then allow Mayor Price to reappoint you– oh, well, Arnold. Arnold will then convince Paulina to reinstate me as district attorney. I will have a job. Rafe will have a job. Jada will be the only one out on the street.
There’s only one problem with your plan.
Hmm?
Jada’s not a dirty cop.
Mm. Neither were you. Me and Ava Vitali manufactured enough evidence to do a real good number on your reputation. I mean, I’m not Ava’s biggest fan, but a good idea is a good idea. When all is said and done, Jada will be toxic.
There’s no way you’re gonna get away with this, you know.
Would it be cliché to say I already have? Because… Now, there is somewhere that I must be. So if you want to enjoy any of this, I suggest you open wide. Choo-choo! [imitates train chugging]
Aah!
Well, Gabi, you’re right. We haven’t been seeing each other for very long, and as–as much as we want to downplay it, it is kind of a big deal for me to go with you to your brother’s wedding.
[chuckles] Oh, my God. I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry. I’ll go.
No, no. I didn’t say no.
Oh.
I like that it’s kind of a big deal. And I want to go with you.
I want you to go with me, too. [soft music]
[cell phone ringing]
That’s the DA.
Okay.
I got to take this. Deveraux. No, I’m off today. Wait, it got moved? Since when? Yeah, I can be there. Give me an hour. Damn it.
I have a feeling you’re not going to be my plus-one after all.
That was the ADA, prosecuting a perp I arrested a while back. The trial wasn’t supposed to be for a few weeks, but it got moved up.
And you have to be there.
Yeah. Belle needs Shawn and me to testify. Hey, I’m–I’m sorry.
You don’t need to apologize. I sprung this on you out of nowhere.
Yeah, but I’d much rather be spending the day with you than taking the stand.
Well, not exactly a high bar.
Let me try that again. Um, I’d much rather be with you than doing anything else.
Hmm. Well, it’s all right. You know, my brother being on the force for so long, if there’s one thing that I have realized, it’s that justice never takes a day off. I have to go. Uh, I will save you a piece of cake.
Hey, Gabi…
Even though I can’t go, I, uh… I know that even being asked was a big step. And, well… I like that for us.
So do I.
Ah, isn’t this the most pleasant of coincidences? Mwah. I was just telling Dr. Evans– I mean my best friend, Marlena, how happy we are.
No, I’m mad at you.
Me? What? Why? Because you ruined Jada and Rafael’s wedding. [dramatic music]
Look, I get that Rafe has been acting a little strangely lately. And I don’t blame you for overthinking all of this.
What do you mean?
Well, not to bring up the Everett in the room again, but the last time you were married, you got blindsided when the groom was experiencing a literal personality change. So… [chuckles] No wonder you’re a little sensitive when it comes to Rafe cutting loose. [cell phone vibrating]
It’s Rafe.
Ah. See, told you he didn’t let you down.
Hello?
Hey, baby. Sorry I didn’t hit you sooner.
Oh, it didn’t even cross my mind.
Well, I just wanted one last call with my gorgeous fiancée before she becomes my wife.
There’s not going to be a wedding… you son of a bitch.
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