Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne and Thane
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Kassandra and Rhett in holy matrimony. If anyone knows any reason why these two should not wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. And then back from the dead, Charlemagne bursts in to announce she’s pregnant with Rhett’s baby. Pandemonium erupts. But why should she get to have all the fun? Who says there can’t be two interruptions? Suddenly, Rhett’s twin brother Thrust bursts into the church. And he says– he says–
Who do you have to sleep with to get a drink around here?
[jazzy music]
Hey, I’m sorry to just show up like this. I hope you weren’t busy.
No, no, I was just on Julie’s computer trying to find a job. I need to start paying you back that money that you loaned me. What’s going on? Are you OK?
Not really.
Let me guess. Is this about that girl that Tate got pregnant?
[light upbeat music]
Hey.
Hey. Any takers?
Well, everyone seemed really concerned, and everyone took one. They said they’d put it in their windows and stuff. Ah, I just hope it gets results so we can track her down.
Yeah, I’ve been checking social media. It’s getting a lot of reposts, but no word yet.
Dad said he would call if there’s any news. So far, I haven’t heard anything.
[ominous music]
[phone beeps]
Brady, it’s Ava. You need to call me back as soon as you get this–
[phone static] [line clicks]
Damn it, Ava, what were you trying to tell me?
Rachel, are you–
[eerie music]
[dramatic musical flourish]
That was even easier than I thought.
No kidding.
Looks like this Ava woman won’t be coming between your mommy and daddy anymore.
[soft orchestration]
Announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so arethe “Days of Our Lives.”
[jazzy music]
That is the first thing you said to me when we met. Who do you have to sleep with to get a drink around here? Thought it was wonderfully crass and bold. And I considered answering, me. But then I thought that was too crass and too bold, not to mention a little pushy. So I controlled myself and said something reasonably polite, as I recall.
Actually, you said nothing, as I recall. You were, uh, sitting right here in this very bar, and you were sitting over there typing away, drinking a spicy Mezcal Paloma.
Time-out, time-out, Romeo. If you knew what I was drinking, why did you act like you didn’t?
Maybe because I wanted you to tell me about it. Is that such a big mystery, Juliet?
No. I just like hearing you say it.
You were drinking a caipirinha.
My usual.
Mm-hmm. It was tart, very sweet. And I knew that as soon as I tasted it, I would always associate it with you. Which is why I couldn’t even look at a caipirinha for a while– you know, when we were not seeing each other.
Yeah, things did get a little loco between us, I mean, for a while anyway.
Thanks to me and this cursed laptop.
No, no, don’t hurt its feelings. That’s what drew me over to you in the first place.
I thought it was my dimples.
Well, creative guys are my weakness, but creative guys with dimples? Guárdame. And besides, all that matters is that we found our way back to each other.
[phone beeps]
[line trilling]
Come on, Ava. Come on, pick up. [phone ringing]
[eerie music]
Brady calling. It’s your dad.
What do we do?
Simple. We just won’t answer it.
Ava, hey. It’s Brady. I got your message. I heard you say that you needed me to call you back, but there must have been a bad connection because I couldn’t hear the rest. Is this about Rachel? Please call me when you can.
[sighs]
So I was with Tate trying to help him find his missing sister.
His sister’s missing?
Yeah. She ran away and nobody can find her.
Oh, wow. I’m really sorry. That’s terrible.
Yeah. Everyone’s, like, really worried.
Yeah, well, I’m surprised you’re still not with Tate.
Well, we were trying to get the word out on social media. We figured if enough people knew she was missing, maybe someone would have seen her.
Sure. Yeah, of course.
Mm-hmm. And just as we were brainstorming ideas, Sophia shows up unannounced. And she drops this huge bombshell that her mom won’t let her give the baby up for adoption, which, I guess, now means that Tate and her have to raise the baby together. So that’s why I’m still not with him. [twangy guitar music]
Hey, I’m thinking maybe we should split up. You know, I’ll stay here. I’ll watch the laptop. And you go home and maybe see if you can help out there
No, actually, I think we’ll get more done together. Besides, we need to talk about what happened.
Uh, OK.
Because I’ve been thinking, Tate, about the whole adoption thing.
OK. What about it?
Well, since my mother is never going to agree to it, what if we–
What if we what?
What if we do it anyway?
[tense music]
So, speaking of your sexy profession, how’s the writing going?
Well, if I could figure out a way to make this wedding sexy, then all of my problems would just melt away. Alas–
Hey. If anyone can do it–
Well, then I would still have to figure out where 15 different cast members are sitting, who says what to whom. It’s a lot of work. I should be getting hazard pay.
Hey. Try planning a real wedding. Jada and Rafe are getting married in 16 hours, and I still don’t even want to think about what I have to do tomorrow.
Well, at least you have help. Who’s Rafe’s best man?
I don’t think he has one. Tell me– what?
Who’s planning his bachelor party?
What, I’m supposed to do that, too?
Well, if nobody’s volunteered.
Oh my God. I have never planned a bachelor party. I’ve never been to a bachelor party. So I have to order food. I have to book a venue.
OK. the venue is the easy part, Martha Stewart. Just reserve this place. no perspiration required. Or better yet, the Brady Pub. That’s probably more Rafe’s speed. Look, it’s just a bunch of guys sitting around drinking. They’re not going to care where they are, as long as there’s a stripper.
A stripper? Where am I going to get stripper?
That’s where your roguish boyfriend comes in.
I got a feeling Rafe would prefer a woman.
His loss.
And for that matter. Jada would, too.
OK, you need a stripper? I can find you a stripper. Oh, shoot.
What is it?
That kid, Doug, left me a message yesterday. I must have missed it.
Mr. Stark, it’s Doug Williams. I just wanted to let you know I paid off all my debts. A friend gave me a loan. And I’m determined to get a job and pay it back completely. I need to do right by the people here in Salem that have been so good to me.
So if you could call me back, I was wondering if there’s any way you could help me again. And I want to do whatever it takes to get that necklace back to Julie.
[suspenseful music]
Maybe this isn’t as bad as you think it is.
Right. It’s probably worse.
Oh, come on. Just because Sophia has to keep the baby doesn’t mean she and Tate are going to raise it together.
Yeah, I guess that’s true. But still, it’s like they’re going to be tied to each other for– for practically the next 18 years. I mean, we’re literally going to be in our 30s by that time.
OK. I think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself there.
No, not really. I mean, when I first found out Sophia was pregnant, I tried to be so understanding and hopeful because– because I know the two of them didn’t mean for this to happen. And they were on their way to get an abortion.
Which would have made everything a lot simpler.
Right. But when Sophia’s mom found out, it’s like all of a sudden Sophia’s actually having the baby. And only then Tate tells me they’re even talking about adoption. But guess what. Sophia’s mom didn’t approve of that, either. So– so it’s like this is never going to be over. Next thing you know, Tate’s going to be telling me he has to marry Sophia after all.
[twangy guitar music]
I’m sorry. What do you mean we’ll do it anyway? How are we going to give the baby up for adoption without your mother’s approval?
Simple. I’ll be 18 before the baby is born. So what if we go to an adoption agency and make all the arrangements? And my mom never has to know.
Sophia, I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Why not?
Because I just– I don’t think that going to an adoption agency on the sly is a good plan.
It is if we’re the only ones who know about it.
Sophia, your parents are going to find out about this. You said your mother freaked out when you went to the doctor’s appointment without her, right? OK, what happens when you go to the hospital nine months’ pregnant and you don’t come home with a baby? [tense music]
Brady, come on. What is the news? Just tell me what’s going on.
JJ stopped by the house earlier, said there’s nothing new to report yet. Did you get some rest?
No! I couldn’t. I’m just a little too worked up.
I know. Me, too.
I mean, especially after I talked to EJ.
Talked to– what are you, a glutton for punishment?
No. I mean, he was actually kind of being great.
EJ?
Yeah.
EJ DiMera? Great?
Well, I mean, we do have our moments sometimes. And he just– he wanted to let me know that he was doing everything he could to find Rachel and that were, you know, still a family, even though we’re not related by blood.
Is she dead?
Not to worry. She’s very much alive.
She’s clearly a tough bird, though. No wonder she caused so much trouble for your mommy. But now she’s out of the way, nothing to stop your mommy and daddy getting back together again.
Tate, listen. This could really work. OK, just– just think about it. We don’t tell my parents about the adoption until after the baby is born. And what can they do about it then aside from yelling? It’s not like they can interfere with the adoption since I’ll be over 18.
What? What are you thinking?
Just that– they’re– they’re not just going to yell and then get over it. They’re bound to be extremely upset and angry.
So what? I’m used to that.
Yeah, but not the kind of anger you’d be getting over something this huge. Sophia, like, I don’t know. What if they decide not to pay for your college?
Then I will take out a loan. Or maybe I’ll get a scholarship, or at least a partial one.
I just– I think this is a disaster waiting to happen.
Not necessarily. I mean, like I said, I can take my parents going ballistic. And if they don’t want to support me after that, then fine. I’ll support myself. They can disown me for all I care.
What? What are you thinking now?
[gentle piano music]
You said your mom doesn’t want the baby raised by strangers, right?
Yeah, that’s what she said.
What if they weren’t strangers? Like, what if– hear me out. What if we found a really, really perfect couple who wanted to adopt a baby? And then we got to know them, you know. And your mom did, too. She’d– she’d probably end up really liking them, maybe even trusting them, right? What do you think?
Well, I can’t imagine my mom liking anyone who’s not religious.
OK, fine. All right, then we’ll make sure the couple is religious. You know, my Uncle Eric used to be a priest, so maybe he can put us in touch with some couples. Sophia, if your mom knows that the baby is for sure going to be raised in a good Christian home, then maybe she’d change her mind.
Please get back to me when you can. Thanks.
So what’s this necklace that he’s talking about?
Uh, I probably shouldn’t have played that message out loud.
No, it’s too late. You got to spill.
Look, I was doing this kid a favor. Technically, it might have been illegal. Look, the less you know the better, considering you’re planning a wedding for the police commissioner and the former police commissioner.
Well, now I just want to know if I’m going to be visiting my boyfriend in jail.
Listen to me. I’m going to take care of this. You just focus on planning an unforgettable bachelor party. Although now that I think about it, the ones people can’t actually remember are probably the best ones.
Well, a night of debauchery is my plausible deniability.
Don’t forget– more alcohol, the better. Words to live by.
Leo!
Courage! I’ll be back soon.
Hey, don’t forget about my stripper!
[jazzy music]
Not– not my stripper. Just a stripper. Yes, just a random stripper.
God, I’m so sorry for trauma-dumping on you again. I probably sound so self-involved.
Why wouldn’t you be? I mean, you’re dealing with a lot. And it’s not fair to you. I mean, you’re in love. This is supposed to be the time of your life that people write songs about.
Yeah, I’m sure a ton of people write songs about their boyfriends getting another girl pregnant, too.
Yeah. Yeah, they do. But they don’t end up on any decent playlists, because they’re so depressing.
God, I’m such a cliché, aren’t I? Ohh.
Well, look at it this way, OK? It’s like you’re gathering material for your first album. So when you become rich and famous, I can say I knew you when.
But will you put me on your playlist?
On repeat.
[gentle music]
EJ and I– I mean, we started talking about my biological family. And well, he seemed curious about some of the more, well, shall we say, colorful aspects of my upbringing.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, who wouldn’t be?
Well, it was all in my memoir.
It’s going to be a Pulitzer Prize-winner for sure.
No, undoubtedly it will. But he was interested in my childhood and my biological parents. And so I went to get my scrapbook to show him, you know, all about Aremid and my family and our summer home there. And the book is not on the shelf anymore.
So someone moved it to another shelf or something.
Yeah, well, I certainly didn’t do it. And Harold– I asked him, and he didn’t do it. So who took it off the shelf, Brady? That’s what I want to know. What? Come on. No, no, no. What are you thinking? Come on.
[stammers] Could be Rachel.
Rachel?
Yeah. Kids are always curious about what their parents were like growing up, right?
Yeah.
You said you recently had it out. You were looking at it. Is it possible that she saw you taking it off a shelf or putting it back?
No. Yes. I think– yeah, I guess so. Maybe.
Because if she is the one that took the book, that would be a clue to where she might be. You said this book was all about your family, Kristen.
Yeah. Oh my God, Brady. You think she went to Aremid? I mean, I know it’s not very far. It’s just a few miles out of town.
Let’s go.
It’s a shot. Let’s– yes, yes!
[dramatic music]
So do you really think my parents are going to get back together now?
Well, I can’t say for sure, but we certainly have cleared the path.
Until she wakes up. What will happen then?
Well, we certainly don’t want things to go back to the way they were, do we?
No way.
So we’re going to have to come up with a plan, some way to make sure this mean lady doesn’t prevent you from getting what you want– a family, you, your mommy and daddy together forever.
[eerie music]
[gentle music]
[doorbell rings]
I should probably go get that.
Right.
Ooh, I am so sorry. I just got your message about the necklace. Holly, hi.
Hi.
Not sure if you’ve heard, but I make necklaces now. Really all sorts of jewelry– just a little side gig to make ends meet.
Mr. Stark, it’s OK. She knows everything.
Well, there’s everything. And then there’s everything.
We’re friends.
Ugh, give a girl a heart attack, why don’t you. Is there anyone else in on this? The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, perhaps?
Don’t worry. Julie’s not here.
Hallelujah. OK, so you want to get the necklace back, yeah?
Is that even possible?
Well, I’m sure I’ll be able to track it down. That’s not the hard part. But knowing how these people operate, it will likely cost you more to get it back than you got it for in the first place. In fact, I can assure you they have even fewer scruples than I do.
I was afraid of that. I don’t even know what I was thinking when I left you that message. I mean, I definitely want it back. But I don’t have a dime to my name after I paid off those guys I owed.
How did you make up the difference? You said you didn’t get enough from the sale.
That’s thanks to Holly. She loaned it to me. And I definitely need to pay her back first.
Don’t even worry about that. Just worry about getting the necklace back, OK?
No. You first. Definitely. As long as I can start making some money soon. And once I make enough to repay you, and hopefully I can buy back the necklace if it’s still available. But first, I need to find a freaking job.
OK. OK. Look, there is only enough space in this dubiously decorated room for one drama queen, meaning–
Why don’t you come and work for me?
Like I said, my mother has never been a change her mind kind of person. And she seems hell-bent on keeping this kid in our family. But if she did get to know this couple, and she could be sure the baby wasn’t just being sent off to parts unknown, then–
Then yes, then– then this could be the answer, Sophia, for both of us– all three of us.
And then I could actually go off to college.
Exactly. Yeah. So what do you think? Do you think your mom might agree to this? Is it worth a shot?
I do. I mean, I don’t want us to get our hopes up too high. But I– I do think it might work. Oh my God. How did you even come up with this idea?
I don’t know. Something about necessity being the mother of invention kind of thing.
Right. Well, it’s kind of brilliant, actually.
Well, hang on. Only if it works.
True. But I’m actually hopeful for the first time since my mother found out about the baby.
Yeah. Me, too.
Now all we have to do is find the perfect couple.
[light music]
Rachel?
Are you here, sweetie?
My God, it looks like no one’s been here for ages.
Rachel!
Rachel!
Oh my God!
Honey!
No, no.
Sweetie!
I’ve been so worried about you!
Wow. You scared us half to death!
Oh, you’re OK? You’re OK, yes? Oh my God.
What are you doing here?
What do you– honey, what do you think we’re doing here?
We’re looking for you.
Together?
Oh, well, it looks like our instincts were right.
Sweetheart, you did take my book.
How else would I find this place?
Why didn’t you tell us were coming here?
Sweetie, we had no idea where you were. You were all alone here. Anything could have happened to you in this weird place.
But I wasn’t alone.
[eerie music]
I totally lost track of time. I should probably get home. Oh, but it’s good that we talked.
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I should go, too. Maybe there’s been some news about Rachel.
Oh, yeah. Text me if there is.
Of course. Hey, I just want to let you know everything will be OK. Whatever we do, we’ll figure it out together.
Thanks.
[twangy guitar music]
Like I said, I couldn’t get through this without you.
Work for you?
I could use an assistant. Honestly, I can’t believe I’ve made it this long without one.
But I don’t know anything about writing.
Which is why I will be doing the writing, and you will be doing the assisting.
Well, I even less about soap operas.
Well, look, it is complicated. I won’t lie. There are a lot of pieces, all moving at different speeds at different times. But all you really need to know is that we tell love stories. You know about love stories, don’t you?
Yeah, he does. We were just talking about the “10 Things I Hate About You.” The title is supposed to be ironic.
Uh, OK.
Mr. Stark, I can’t ask you to do this for me.
Honestly, you’ll be doing me a favor. I am drowning in scripts. And after the whole Lady Whistleblower fiasco, I need somebody to make sure that things stay secure.
OK. That sounds amazing. Thank you so much.
Yeah.
And it’s probably going to take a little bit of time, but I can finally start paying you back.
Uh, did you hear the way she just stuck up for you? And you want to make her wait? I don’t care what they say. Chivalry is not dead. And I suppose I could find my way toward giving you an advance.
[gentle music]
Honey, what do you mean you weren’t alone?
I was with Seymour.
[gentle piano music]
Listen to me, young lady. You and Seymour are in serious trouble.
How serious?
How serious? OK, you know what? We’ll talk about this when we get home. Now get your things and come on. Get packing. I can’t believe this.
Are you OK?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I’m just– I’ll collapse later.
Yeah. I’ll be right behind you. All right, come on, honey. We got to go. All right, you got everything? Let’s go.
Wait. I forgot something. My parents found me.
Yes, but the plan can still work. Here, take Ava’s phone. I’ll take care of Ava.
OK.
Go.
[ominous music]
OK, I think we’re all set for the bachelor party. Did you get the stripper?
It’s all arranged. Sadly, Gypsy Rose Lee wasn’t available.
Who?
Oh, Javi. I have so much to teach you. I should start calling you Grasshopper.
Who’s– OK, forget it. What about your necklace situation?
I think it’s all worked out. Everything is coming up roses.
Ah, so you were able to help the kid out?
I did what I could.
He’s lucky to have you looking out for him.
Maybe. But I get the feeling I’m not his only guardian angel.
Wow. You’ve got a job.
I have one question. What is “10 Things I Hate About You”?
Oh my God. Um, OK, it’s this heartbreaking tale of young love set in Czarist Russia.
Really?
No, not really. It’s just a silly old rom-com. Anyway, that was super nice of Leo. I mean, he hardly knows you, and he really stuck his neck out for you.
Yeah. I mean, he’s not the only new person in my life that’s been nice to me.
Mm.
[phone rings]
It’s Tate. Hey, what’s going on?
Holly, guess what. I just talked to my dad. They found Rachel.
Oh my God. That’s amazing.
Yeah, I know. Hey, uh, listen, I’m really sorry about before. Do you maybe want to get together and talk? Are you busy?
Uh, no. No, I’m not busy. I’ll be right there.
[gentle music]
I have already called Harold. And you are getting three weeks without cable and Wi-Fi.
Three weeks?
Yes, three weeks. And I– I am being very generous, my dear. You know, I could be laying down the law right now and sending you to bed without any supper. But since you have survived 24 hours with only one peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I’m going to have Cook make you up some mac and cheese, and I will try not to slather it with a lot of hot sauce. But I can’t make any promises, young lady. Hmm?
Daddy, do you want to stay for mac and cheese?
After everything you just put me through? Yeah, yeah, I could probably use a couple bites of mac and cheese. Listen, I want you to understand that this little stunt you pulled, it’s not going to put Mommy and Daddy back together. And I know you think that that’s what’s going to happen. But you have to understand that Ava is a big part of my life right now, OK? And there’s nothing you can do to change that, sweetie.
[foreboding music]
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