Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne and Thane
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
Joy, hello. You are just the person I was hoping to run into. I wanted to give you a heads-up.
Oh?
I’m writing you out of some scenes– the ones with Chanel, to be precise.
Great. So I guess that means you heard.
Yeah, I heard what happened. Johnny filled me in. It’s too bad we can’t harness that animus on camera, you know?
Leo, do you think this is going to end up in Lady Whistleblower’s column?
Oh, not if I have anything to say about it.
So in other words, yes.
[sighs]
Excuse me.
Happy new year, Javi. Thanks for stopping. I know you didn’t ask, but my year is off to a rousing start thanks to Lady Whistleblower’s latest jab. Really went for the jugular this time.
So what was this jab about?
You.
“Blind item: which two naughty ‘Body & Soul’ costars “rung in the New Year together? “No need to tax those brains, dear readers, Lady Whistleblower never could keep a secret.” Oh, my God. “It was that sex-on-a-stick Alex Kiriakis and newbie hottie Joy Wesley.” Sex-on-a-stick, really? “This reporter has to wonder what Alex’s former flame “and ‘Body & Soul’ publicist, Stephanie Johnson, thinks about this little tryst.” Uh, I’d love to tell you what I think about it in person, right before I punch you in the throat.
[knock on door] Abe, happy new year.
Does this look like the face of a happy man?
I take it you read Lady Whistleblower’s–
Only the first two sentences before I threw the paper down in disgust. Now, we–we have to do something about this menace.
“Darling readers, did you catch “last Friday’s episode of ‘The Bland & The Talentless,’ er, ‘Body & Soul’?”
[laughs] So clever–not. “Pray tell…” Ooh. “What was Bonnie Kiriakis doing during Kassandra’s monologue?”
[haltingly] “Because it most certainly was not acting.” Oh, excuse me? “I’ve seen doggy droppings in Salem Park with more range.” How dare you? “Perhaps the former Ms. Lockhart should stick “to what she knows best– marrying rich men for money– and leave the acting to the professionals.”
[laughs dryly] Okay. Okay. Who does this Lady Whistleblower think she is? I cannot wait to get my hands on that gossipy garbage monger.
Happy New Year, Bon-Bon.
[soft dramatic music]
Chanel.
I know I said I had nothing to say to you, but I do have something to say.
Okay, yeah. What is it?
I quit.
[sighs] You don’t mean that.
Oh, so what, I don’t have my own mind now?
It’s just you–you love working on “Body & Soul.”
Yeah, I did, until my husband cheated on me with my costar, who I thought was my friend. So I’m done with the show, and I’m done with you.
[soft orchestration]
announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”
Did something else happen for you to come to this decision?
What, you don’t think cheating on me was enough?
No, I just– you didn’t say this before.
Well, I ran into Joy. That’s what happened.
[tense music]
How’d that go?
Yeah, she tried apologizing, but I wasn’t trying to hear it.
Look, Chanel, I understand, okay? I understand that you’re upset and you’re angry with me and with Joy. But there’s got to be some way that you can stay on the show.
There isn’t.
But you love acting. And you are so talented. If you quit, what are you gonna do instead?
I will go back to my first love.
Well, I didn’t read all of Lady W’s column either. So should we brace ourselves for more?
Might as well. We need to know what we’re dealing with.
Okay. “Is it any wonder “Body & Soul’s” production values are on par with a middle school staging of “West Side Story”? Executive Producer Abe Carver spent his adult life as a cop, police commissioner, and mayor. Does that sound like the resume of someone who knows how to run a TV show?”
Oh, son of a–
“The purchase of “Body & Soul’s” rights were nothing but a vanity project for him and his partner, fellow amateur, Kate Roberts Brady. Carver should really consider handing over the reins to a competent show-runner before viewers vote him out, much like the citizens of Salem did when he was mayor.”
Well, that’s not even true. I stepped down as mayor.
Well, I’m sure I can get a retraction printed.
The hell with a retraction. I want Lady Whistleblower’s column shut down, immediately. And as the publicist for “Body & Soul,” that’s your job to make that happen.
So what could Lady Whistleblower possibly have said about me to hurt you?
Well, somehow she managed to find out how badly I screwed things up between us.
You mean when you accused me of being the Lady herself?
Yeah, that.
Why is that even interesting to readers?
I don’t know. It’s hot goss, I guess. But after she shredded my love life, or lack thereof, she went after my professional life. Apparently, my job at “Body & Soul” is in jeopardy, too.
Sounds like she made it pretty personal. So you still have no idea who’s writing these columns?
No. Rafe managed to track down Hattie Adams, but she denies having anything to do with it.
So do you believe her?
I don’t know. I don’t know what to believe. All I know is that somebody is out to get me.
How did you get in here, Hattie?
Well, normally, I would say that Henderson let me in, but that would be a lie. I just walked in your front door.
It was unlocked?
It was unlocked. You know, for a big old mansion with a lot of important Greeks around here, I’d say your– your security is pretty shoddy.
What the hell are you doing here, Hattie?
Nice to see you, too.
Now, just tell me what you want.
All right. Well, I’m–I’m glad you asked because I’m here to…
[gasping] Apologize.
[stirring music]
[sighs] Just when I thought this new year couldn’t start out any worse.
[door slams]
Hey.
Hey.
How’s it going?
Oh, you know, it could be worse.
What’s wrong?
I’m assuming you haven’t seen Lady Whistleblower’s column today yet.
No. Should I?
Depends. Want your day ruined?
Oh, my god. What’s it say? Let me see. Doo, doo, doo, doo. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. “Sex-on-a-stick?”
What? Not on your business card?
At least they’re talking about us, right? I mean, they say any publicity is good publicity.
Sure, as long as you don’t have to deal with the real-life part of this disaster.
Why? What do you mean?
I ran into Chanel this morning. As you could probably imagine, didn’t go well. She pretty much hates my guts.
[music playing]
Your first love?
Sweet Bits?
Oh. Ah, for a second, I thought you meant–
Your sister?
Yeah
Look, Allie has a boyfriend, in case you forgot. And at least at Sweet Bits, I won’t have to look at your lying face every day. And I won’t have to work side by side doing scenes with a home-wrecking slut like Joy Wesley.
Chanel.
What?
Wait. All right. Will you please just take a second and think about this? All right, you can’t quit the show. And you–and you can’t give up on us. The show needs you, and so do I.
Listen, Steph, if we don’t put an end the Lady Whistleblower’s reign of terror–
We’ll all be on permanent vacation? I know. And I won’t let that happen. I’m just sorry it’s gotten this far.
I just don’t understand why we’ve been targeted.
I don’t either. I went to Johnny and Chanel’s New Year’s Eve party, hoping to head off any new scandals. But this clearly goes deeper than that.
Yeah. Well, I wish I knew who this was.
I’m on it, Abe. That is why you and Kate brought me in.
Thank you. Thank you. I’d better head over to the office. I just hope there aren’t any new problems popping up today.
Hmm.
[chuckles] All right.
See you.
Take care.
How do you solve a problem like Lady Whistleblower? I know exactly where to start.
I knew it. You’re admitting to being Lady Whistleblower.
No.
I should scratch your lying eyes right out of your lying head.
Hey, hey, take it easy, Bon-Bon.
Don’t you call me Bon-Bon. Do you have any idea how much chaos that column has caused?
I’m going to tell you something. I am not Lady Whistleblower. And I’m not Lady Bountiful. I’m not even Lady and the Tramp, for that matter.
But you just said that you are–
No, no, no, no, no. I will tell you what I told Leo Stark. I did not write that column. Come on. Can you picture me sitting at a computer doing all that stuff, writing all those words?
You have a point. You don’t exactly have a way with words.
I’ll tell you what else I don’t have a way with. I’m not responsible for those tainted cupcakes.
Well, if you’re not responsible for the column and you didn’t send the cupcakes, what the hell are you apologizing for?
For trying to get my best friend fired.
[dramatic music]
You’re seriously worried that Lady Whistleblower could get you fired from your novella?
It’s a soap opera.
Whatever. But does it even matter what she thinks?
Look, I stand by my stories. But I’ll be the first to admit not everything we’ve produced is Emmy-worthy.
Oh, so she’s a critic now?
Well, she’s using her criticism to try and ruin my life.
Isn’t Rafe looking into finding out who’s behind the column?
Yeah, he said he would investigate. But I haven’t heard back from him.
Well, I’m sure my cousin will get to the bottom of it soon.
I hope so. The only thing I know for sure is that that miserable Lady Whistleblower knock-off is– is not you. I just wish I had realized that before it was too late for us.
Leo–
Javi, look, I know that I’ve said this before, but I just want to reiterate how sorry I am that I accused you of going behind my back. I was paranoid because I’ve been burned so many times in my past relationships. You know, you get your heart broken enough times, and you start expecting to get hurt. But I should have recognized that you are different. I should have realized how lucky I was to have found you.
Well, you can stop feeling bad because it’s over. I’ve moved on, and you should, too.
Yeah, right. How are things with you and Kerry? Did you guys spend New Year’s Eve together?
No. Kerry was out of town for the holiday, visiting family.
Oh. And what about you? What did you do?
Well, Rafe and Gabi had dates. And so I went out by myself, but I decided to come home early.
That doesn’t sound like you.
I’m pretty new to Salem, and I don’t have a lot of friends right now.
Maybe I could be your friend.
Well, I’ll tell you it’s nice to see a friendly face to start off the new year.
Where are the kids?
Well, they’re supposed to be upstairs packing. But my guess is they’re probably playing with the souvenirs that they suckered me into getting them from Universal.
[chuckles] You are a softy when it comes to those two.
You know what? I’m not going to apologize for it, either. Do you want to go see them?
I will. But I need to talk to you about something important first.
Okay.
Chad, please, tell me who the hell Lady Whistleblower is before she gets Body & Soul” canceled.
[suspenseful music]
Look, obviously, Chanel is very upset right now, but–
You don’t say.
–just give it some time. It’ll get better.
How is it going to get better? I’ve ruined her marriage.
I would not say that. She and Johnny were having troubles way before you entered the picture.
Not like this. Not only does Chanel completely hate me now, but her husband is the director. How are the three of us going to continue working together?
Chanel, please. Okay, just–just take a little more time before you make a decision that you can’t take back.
I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?
No. Not at all. You are just in time.
Chanel.
Just in time for what?
For me to make this official.
Make what official?
My resignation. I am quitting “Body & Soul” effective immediately.
The hell you are.
[suspenseful music]
Look, you and I were going at it trying to– trying to be the star of that show, you know. And I really was trying to be the top diva.
Yeah, I know. Abe told me you said Pineview wasn’t big enough for the both of us.
Yeah, well, I guess he believed me because he ended up having me get shoved down the elevator shaft.
[laughter]
Poetic justice, I will say.
Yeah. I would say comeuppance. I’m wondering if you can find a way to forgive me.
Forgive you? Really? For trying to get me canned from the best job I ever had?
I know. I’m a cow. What can I say? But I’ve learned a lesson. I’ve learned an important lesson. I–I miss you, Bon-Bon.
I miss you, too. In fact, I miss getting to share this whole crazy ride with you.
Yeah, I can tell you something now. You’re so good on that show. You really are a star.
Lady Whistleblower doesn’t think so.
Well, she can just blow it up her whistle.
[laughter] Oh, Bon, you’re such a star.
Thanks for that. God, we really have had good times, haven’t we?
Yeah. Are you– are you thinking maybe you can forgive me?
Well, it is the new year. Maybe it’s time to let bygones go bye-bye and wipe the slate clean.
Oh, you mean that?
Of course, I do. Oh, hard-hearted Hattie, please, I could never stay mad at you.
Oh.
[laughter]
Oh! Oh!
Girlfriend.
Oh!
Don’t tell me you’re thinking about quitting the show.
Hell, no. I love working on “Body & Soul.”
Good.
I feel terrible about what happened with Johnny. I’m not going to give up my career over it.
Nor should you. I mean, that’s the great thing about starting a new year. It gives you the chance to figure out how you’re going to face it all.
What do you mean?
We all made mistakes last year, right? We’re certainly going to make more. But it’s like I told you before, you need to forgive yourself, move ahead, start fresh.
Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.
Yeah.
You’re right.
I know.
You’re right. No more feeling guilty and like I’m a bad person.
There you go.
This is a new year. I’m treating 2025 positively and head on. And you know what? Chanel can hate me all she wants. I’m done hating myself.
You are not leaving the show, Chanel. You signed a contract.
You’re not seriously going to sue your stepdaughter for breach of contract?
No, no, no, no. Of course not. I–Chanel, I am– I’m sympathetic to what you’re going through.
Okay. So why are you making me stay?
I’m not making you do anything. It’s–Chanel, you are one half of our most popular couple.
Okay, so recast me. They do it all the time on soap operas, right?
Yeah.
I remember I was watching one of Big Mama’s stories. And this lady, Babe, she went in for a hug and she came out a completely different person.
Well, that doesn’t happen these days. Have you checked out Soap Twitter recently?
We try to avoid it.
Well, let me tell you something. They are going to rip this show to shreds the minute we announce you’re leaving.
Yeah, if Lady Whistleblower doesn’t beat them to it.
Well, she just might.
Okay, well, I really hope that that doesn’t happen. But, Abe, I am sorry, but I just can’t do this anymore.
Chanel, you don’t have to quit the show to get away from me, okay?
Oh, no? Well, can you think of a better solution?
Yeah. I’ll quit.
[tense music]
I’m sorry, Steph, but I can’t reveal Lady Whistleblower’s identity.
You can’t or you won’t?
A little of both. I mean, I honestly don’t know who Lady Whistleblower is. And if they want to remain anonymous, then “The Spectator” has to respect their wishes.
Even though this person is hell bent on destroying “Body & Soul,” a show which you’re an investor in?
Well, that’s even more reason to be evenhanded. Don’t you think you’re–you’re overexaggerating just a little?
Have you seen today’s column? It is a vicious hit piece.
One newspaper column isn’t going to bring down an entire production.
Ever heard of Hedda Hopper? Chad, your newspaper is leaking spoilers, not to mention personally attacking our cast and crew, including me.
And I definitely don’t approve of that. But I can’t censor them.
But as publisher, your name is on the masthead. You control what kind of content you put out there.
I don’t want you or Abe or Kate or “Body & Soul” to suffer. But at the end of the day, I’m going to back my columnists.
Yeah? What about your friends?
I know you said you didn’t want to have anything to do with me, but right now I could really use one less person in this town hating me.
I don’t hate you, Leo.
You don’t?
No. I’m not saying that I seriously wasn’t pissed at you for calling me a thief and a liar. But I’m over that now.
You are?
I am. And when you stopped me just now, I was pretty glad to see you.
You were?
I was.
So then maybe we can be friends.
I’d like that.
So would I. I mean, yeah, that’s great. So, I don’t know, do we shake on it or something?
What, shake on it? What are we, a couple of straight white dudes in business suits?
[laughter]
I guess so.
Sure. Why not?
Well, well, well. What have we here?
Well, now that we’ve buried the ol’ hatcheroo, I have an idea.
Ooh, you want to go tie one on at the Bistro?
[chuckles] It is a little early for that, don’t you think?
Early for either one of us? What?
Well, I’m a respectable woman now, don’t you know? And I have to be aware of the paparazzi these days, so.
So what do you want to do?
I was thinking maybe we’d go talk to Leo Stark and see about getting you back on the show.
Oh, but I’m dead.
[laughs] Honey, it’s a soap opera. Nobody really stays dead.
Well, and nobody stays dead in Salem, unless they do.
True. Listen, when you stormed off the set, Leo had me lie under a sheet on a gurney pretending to be dead Charlemagne while Dr. Blake Lamoray was on the phone plotting her resurrection.
Really?
Really. That little scamp wanted to make sure he had a plausible way to resurrect you one day.
Well, I think this would be a very good day.
And I couldn’t agree with you more. So let’s go stalk Stark, shall we?
[giggling]
Kerry, you’re home.
And you’re sweaty.
Sorry, I just left the gym.
I don’t mind. I kind of like you sweaty.
So when did you get back?
Just a little while ago. Didn’t you see my text?
Sorry, I wasn’t checking.
You were busy, huh?
No. Leo and I just ran into each other.
You looked pretty chummy, considering he accused you of being a spy.
No. We decided to put that behind us.
Have you?
Yeah, Javi was gracious enough to give me another shot at being his friend. I hope you’re okay with that.
Why wouldn’t I be?
I don’t know. Just checking.
I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since I got on the plane. You want to grab some lunch?
Why don’t we go back to the house? I’ll shower, and then I can make us something to eat.
Sounds good to me.
I’ll see you around, friend.
Mm-hmm. See ya. Friend.
Look, Steph, I want to help you, but we have policies in place to protect our employees.
This isn’t some First Amendment issue, Chad. And you’re not protecting a source. You’re enabling a gossipmonger who is using your platform to spread malicious, agenda-driven content for the purpose of damaging your friends.
Whoa, those are very big PR words.
How else do you explain this vendetta?
It’s not exactly a vendetta. Look, Lady Whistleblower is in the business of attracting readers. And right now, “Body & Soul” is getting a lot of attention. So–
This is exactly what is wrong with the media today– it’s clicks over substance. If Lady Whistleblower truly stood by the articles that they publish, why not do it under their own name?
Okay. Well, that’s a good argument.
Okay. So does this mean you’re going to get me the info on Lady Whistleblower’s identity?
I’ll see what I can do.
[sighs] I don’t– I don’t know. I don’t know which is worse– losing my young star or my star director? Are you all trying to kill me?
You’re not losing your star, Abe. I’m the only one who’s going to quit.
I didn’t ask you to do that.
You didn’t have to. It just makes sense. Look, Abe, you’re going to be able to find other directors. The fans aren’t even going to notice. All right, but there’s only one Faith. And that’s Chanel.
Yeah, well, what about Joy?
What about her?
Don’t you get it, Johnny? You leaving only solves half the problem. I would still be forced to work with the woman who hooked up with my husband and then lied to my face about it. So you can keep your little noble sacrifice and keep your directing job. I am done with “Body & Soul.”
[dramatic music]
Nice try.
So what are you in the mood for? Maybe a salad. I can make some eggs.
Whatever you feel like making. Doesn’t matter.
Are you okay?
Of course.
Because you seem–
I’m fine.
Are you sure? Because you’re acting like–
Why do you want to be friends with him?
Sorry?
Leo Stark. Why do you want to be friends with a guy like that?
I don’t know. Maybe because it’s a new year, and everybody deserves a second chance.
[knock on the door]
I’m writing.
[banging on the door]
[sighs] Bonnie?
And Hattie.
What are you two doing here? And why are you together?
We made up.
You did?
We did. I told her that I was sorry for playing Joan Crawford to her Bette Davis.
And I forgave her, especially since it was kind of sort of my fault, too.
Yeah. And I forgave her. So we’re good.
Well, that is so great. Congrats. I have to get back to work now.
Not so fast. See, now that we’re BFFs again, you’re going to have to write Charlemagne back on the show.
You realize that’s not only my decision to make, right?
Of course, we do. But we figured if we got the head writer on board, it shouldn’t be too hard to convince the suits.
You two are lucky. You caught me in a semi-good headspace. I’m in the mood to mend fences today.
Then you’ll do it?
Hold that thought.
What is that?
This, my friends, is the Bible.
Doesn’t look like any Bible I’ve ever seen.
Not the Holy Bible, dum-dum. This is the “Body & Soul” story Bible. both: Oh!
Don’t call me dum-dum. What do you–what do you mean to do with that?
I need you to swear on it.
What?
I need to know that I can trust you. So place your hand on the Bible and swear on it. Good. Now repeat after me. I, Hattie Adams–
I, Hattie Adams–
–swear to the Creator of Pork Rinds that I am not Lady Fricking Whistleblower.
–swear to the Creator of Pork Rinds, that although I love and adore them, they do tend to bloat me, that I am not Lady Whistleblower.
Okay, that works for me. So, pending Abe and Kate’s approval, I shall write you back to life. Welcome back to the show, Charlemagne.
Oh!
You’re back!
I’m back!
Okay.
[laughter]
All right.
Mm, I am glad to hear that you took my advice, and now you’re not going to, you know, beat yourself up anymore.
Just like a man to take credit for a woman’s journey of self-acceptance.
Busted.
I’m kidding. Your advice really helped.
Good. I’m glad. You’re welcome.
All right, well, I better get back to my room. I have a ton of lines to learn tomorrow, so.
Well, I will see you on set. Mm-hmm. Bye.
[light music playing] * * Hi.
Hey.
Are you okay?
I think you know the answer to that.
Chanel, listen, let me just say I didn’t say anything about Joy and Johnny because I didn’t want you to get hurt.
Yeah, well, a lot of good that did.
I’m sorry. Are you and Johnny–
My marriage, it’s over, and so is my career.
Career?
I quit “Body & Soul.” And I know that it was the right thing to do, but, well, I’m going to miss it, all of it.
[sobs]
[crying]
I get it, all right? I understand that Chanel is upset. I just–I hate– I hate that she quit the show.
Not as much as I do.
Abe, I’m really sorry for any trouble that this is going to cause you and Kate, and for Leo, too, if he has to figure out a way to write out Faith.
Lady Whistleblower is going to be like a shark smelling blood in the water.
Yeah.
You know, I just pray that Stephanie can unmask who this person is before “Body & Soul” fades to black for good.
Okay, let’s see. It says that we’re paying Lady Whistleblower directly into an account under the name Lady Whistleblower LLC.
So no personal paystubs.
Here’s a routing number for the bank where the paychecks are being wired to.
Spaulding-Lewis Bank & Trust.
Rochester, New York.
So whoever this Lady Whistleblower is, they have connections to Rochester.
Can we not talk about Leo?
Gladly.
Good. So I’m going to go shower, and then we can eat. And I want to hear all about your time in Rochester with your charming family.
Sounds like a plan.
[phone chimes]
“I hope you all enjoyed the latest tea “our Fair Whistleblower brewed up “about the hot mess at “Body & Soul,” but I’m just getting started.”
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