Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
It is so good catching up with you. Yeah, John sends his best as well. I just–I can’t believe that your dad’s turning 90 years– when did that happen? Oh, my gosh. [elevator bell dings] Yeah. Well, you know what? We will catch up soon. OK, stay close. Bye.
Dr. Evans, I am so relieved you’re here.
Oh, Leo.
I know we don’t have an appointment today, but this is an emergency. Some events have conspired that have put my mental health at great risk.
Oh, is it something about Lady Whistleblower?
No, no, my life does not revolve around the malicious machinations of that whistling wench. Although somebody taking my previous job to sabotage my current job is also an emergency.
All right, well, since you have two emergencies, let’s take one at a time. What is the problem with Lady Whistleblower?
No, no, this is not about that. This is about the cutest, funniest, smartest guy I ever blew it with.
[light jazz music] [phone ringing]
Gabi Hernadez’s office. Please hold. [ringing continues] Gabi Hernandez’s office. Would you mind holding, please? Thank you. Gabi Hernandez’s office. Ms. DiMera is not available.
This is her personal assistant, Javi. As I just said, she’s not available. Where is she? She’s in a meeting. I’m not lying. OK, fine. She’s not in a meeting. She went with her ex-boyfriend to Vancouver to pose as her dead frenemy to find some crazy escaped convict.
Ah!
What is it?
Ugh. Sorry. Just a cockroach.
[dramatic music]
OK, we’re in business. I found his laptop.
Damn, it’s password protected.
I feel like Clyde’s a simple kind of guy.
Try “Kate.” [keyboard keys clacking]
No.
“Goldman.” [keyboard keys clacking]
No again.
“Nancy.” [keyboard keys clacking]
Bingo. We’re in.
Huh.
And it looks like I can access his text messages from here. If we’re lucky, this could be exactly what we’re looking for.
[gasps]
What, did you find another cockroach?
Not a good idea. You see, any sudden movement might make me flinch, pull the trigger, and spill this little lady’s guts all over the floor.
Weren’t expecting me back so soon, were you, JJ? Or should I call you Chad? [laughs wheezingly]
[grunts] Chad, what are you doing?
We need to make this look good. Weston!
I did what you wanted! I brought you Cat Greene!
Weston! Stop playing games! I know you’re here!
Finally.
[grunting]
Mom?
What, you mean this is your–
Yeah, this is my mother.
[soft orchestration] announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”
[tense music]
Mom. I–it’s me–it’s me, Cat. You can put the gun down.
[chuckle] You expect me to believe that? Don’t you think I would know my own daughter?
Oh, I– I know I look different. After the car accident, I had to have surgery, plastic surgery. So I look different, but it’s me. I am your daughter, I promise you. Mom.
[chuckles] He told me you would lie to me.
Who told you?
Clyde. He told me you would– you would lie to me to try to trick me.
What, you’re gonna believe Clyde? All he does is lie. Is that who gave you that gun?
Of course.
Well, why? Why would he do that?
Because he wants you both dead.
[gasping]
I got to admit, I am so humbled to know that Mr. and Mrs. Chad DiMera came all the way to visit little old me. Though I got to be honest, you do look a little different than what I remember.
And you’re even uglier than I remember.
Oh, careful there, sweetheart. You see, I have no problem hurting you.
Now, you think you’d have learned a lesson after your hubby tried to disobey me. But apparently you’re as insolent as he is.
Shame on the two of you for trying to pull a fast one.
I guess I’m just gonna have to teach your new hubby a lesson about what happens when you stick your nose where it does not belong.
That’s fine with me, Clyde. You let Gabi go, and we’ll settle our differences. She has nothing to do with this.
Au contraire. You see, she made the bad choice to accompany you on this little intrusion into my abode. So I’m afraid she’s gonna have to suffer the consequences.
So I’m not supposed to tell anyone who calls where my boss is or who she’s with, or it’s like, krrk, Off with my head. And I’m new at this job, so– I am not making this up. Ms. DiMera is out right now trying to track down some homicidal hick as we speak. Fine. Don’t believe me. Do you want to leave a message?
[line clicks] Hello? Ugh. Adios to you too.
[light jazz music] Gabriella, I sure hope that your cover story is better than mine, because I don’t know how much more of this I can take. [keyboard keys clacking] [knock at door] [sighs] Now what?
Hey, you.
Bad time?
No, no. Not at all. Come in.
You told me you were working from home today, so I thought I’d stop by and bring you a skinny mocha.
How did you know that I was dying for one?
It was a guess. And to be honest, the mocha was an excuse. I just wanted to see you.
Leo, when we talked about Javi, you said you were going to apologize.
I did. I even brought him flowers. And not one of those discount bouquets you get at the supermarket that always smell like onions ’cause they keep them next to the produce aisle. He just slammed the door in my face.
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.
Thanks, and then I tried to apologize again, and that didn’t work. [sighs] But, Dr. Evans, that’s not what this is about. There is a new wrinkle. And I’m not talking about the frown lines that have started to appear on my forehead even though I diligently moisturize three times a day.
OK, what is the new wrinkle?
Oh, it’s not a what. It’s a who. Do you remember last summer when I tried to hook up with that guy Kerry and I told you there was no spark, I thought there was something wrong with me because Kerry was hot, and you said, oh, maybe it’s ’cause you’re not over Dimitri?
Mm-hmm. So are you saying now there’s a spark with Kerry?
No. And that wouldn’t be a problem. The problem is that Kerry is now sparking with somebody else.
Oh. [gasps] Javi?
Uh-huh, hallelujah. Dr. Evans, this is why they pay you the big bucks. OK, so now that you know what my problem is, I need your help fixing it.
Dr. Evans, I really need your help. I know it sounds paranoid, but I can’t help but feel like he’s doing this to me on purpose.
[light music]
Kerry or Javi?
Both. What if the two of them are conspiring to drive me insane? And what do I do about it? I mean, do you know how destabilizing it is to have a former hookup hooking up with another former hookup? And who knows what’s gonna happen? Aside from driving me insane, this could cause a rift in the entire space-time continuum.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This morning, I found a baby cricket in my shower. At least I thought it was a cricket. It could have been a locust. This could be a plague on all of our houses.
It might start raining frogs at any moment. No. No, no, no. I will not accept that. I will not live in a world where Javi is sparking with Kerry.
– I don’t want to keep you from your work. [phone ringing] I just wanted to tell you that I had fun on our date last night. And I’m hoping maybe we could do it again. [ringing continues]
[sighs]
Don’t you need to get that?
Screw it. Let’s do it again right now. I mean…go on another date.
Great. [both chuckle]
Can I take you to lunch?
How about I take you?
[dramatic music]
Kristen, hey. I wanted to talk to you about the plans for this weekend. I was hoping to pick Rachel up on Friday.
[holiday music] Hold on. What do you mean you already have plans? Wait, we scheduled this a while ago. You– I know that I missed her recital. I didn’t have a choice. I had to work at Basic Black. I think I– Kris–Kristen, I know that that’s not your fault, OK? But you know I haven’t seen Rachel in weeks. I have tickets to “The Nutcracker,” and it’s at the Salem Opera House, and– I’m sorry?
What do you mean you already took her? You knew that I wanted to take her. We talked about this. Kristen–Kristen! Hello, I was out of town. Yeah, you knew this, OK? But I was gonna be back in time to take her on the weekend. There’s always next year? There’s al– There’s always– Wow.
Brady.
Mm.
Hey.
[sighs]
Something wrong?
[sighs] I was supposed to take Rachel to “The Nutcracker” this weekend and Kristen already took her.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I– [chuckles] I told her that I was gonna take her. And she said she had to take her because I wasn’t gonna be there that weekend. She’s just– she’s just screwing with me.
Actually, I think that this might all be my fault.
[tense music]
Ms. Greene, she’s you telling the truth. This is your daughter.
Mom… you have to forget about what I used to look like and just– just listen to my voice, OK? We thought that you had died in that accident. When we found out that you didn’t, we were worried that Clyde had killed you.
Mark and Felicity and Aaron, we’ve all missed you so much. And we were so, so worried. But…here you are. You’re alive. And now we can all be a family again. I can bring you back to them, and we can all be a family again.
No. No, I–I have to do this.
No, no, no. You don’t.
Why? Why?
‘Cause–’cause Clyde told me to, and I– I have to do everything that he says.
What? No.
You’re not gonna get away with this, Clyde.
Get away with what, exactly? I come home, find two suspicious characters ransacking my apartment. They attack me. What choice do I have but to stand my ground? I mean, that’s the story the police are gonna hear when they show up. And, you know, the two of you will be dead, so they’ll just have to take my word for it.
And what are you gonna tell them about your escape from prison?
Oh, I don’t think I’ll bring that up.
No, I’m guessing you won’t have to, ’cause as soon as they recognize you from your mugshot, they’ll ship you right back to Statesville.
[scoffs] You got a lot of faith in the boys in blue, don’t you? Course, up here in the Great White North, I guess the Dudley Do-Rights all wear red, don’t they?
[chuckles] No, it’s impressive that you’re still able to make wisecracks, even knowing this isn’t gonna end well for you, that you’re screwed. So why don’t you save us all the time and the trouble and just tell us what you did with my sister’s body?
I don’t get it. How could Kristen taking Rachel to “The Nutcracker” be your fault?
Well, after she saw you and I together the other day at the pub, well, she and I got into it. And she accused me of going after you, of being a homewrecker. And she told me it was only a matter of time before the two of you got back together again.
Delusional.
Yeah, right. And I lost it. And I told her not to get her hopes up.
I would have told her the exact same thing.
Yeah, well–yeah. But then I told her that you told me that you said you made no promises to her.
[chuckles]
Yeah, I know. I–it should not have been me who was sharing that. And I am sorry. So I opened my big mouth. Now she’s taking it out on you.
[holiday music]
Actually, I know all of this.
Hmm?
When Kristen saw you, she contacted me right away and said she needed to meet with me. And she proceeded to give me holy hell about telling you how I felt about her.
Oh, I am so sorry I betrayed your confidence, Brady. Oh, I’m so sorry.
No, you didn’t.
Yeah, well–
What, were you sworn to secrecy? No, no.
No, but–
No. Ava, anyway, I told her that I want our relationship to be strictly about co-parenting Rachel, period.
Oh. Oh, I bet she took that well, huh?
She did not. [chuckles]
Hmm.
As a matter of fact, I think the reason she thinks I’m pushing her away is because of you.
She accused me of being interested in you.
So now that we are on our second date, there are some hard questions that need answered.
Such as?
Britney or Christina?
Please, is that really a choice? both: Christina. [both chuckle]
OK, my turn.
Go for it.
Stevie or Cher?
Is that a trick question?
You’re right. It’s a thousand times– both: Cher. [both chuckle]
Hey, Rafe, it’s Leo. I was just checking in to see if you’ve had any luck tracking down that phony Lady Whistle…
Blower.
I would think twice about making any demands, JJ, as long as I got a pistol in her side.
[tense music]
That gun in my side is the only reason you’re talking tough. In a fair fight, I’d put you down like the rabid dog you are.
Well, you’d think you’d know by now, Gabriella, life is not fair.
You really love threatening women, don’t you?
I just go with what works. You see, as long as JJ here wants to play the hero and spring into action, me holding this pistol in your side just renders him helpless as a kitten. Face it, JJ, I’m holding the cards here.
Well, then, I guess… I’m calling your bluff.
– What do you mean? What do you mean you have to do everything that Clyde tells you to do?
Did he threaten you?
[scoffs] Why would he do that? He’s–he’s my friend.
What? Your friend? No, no, no, no, no, no. Clyde–Mom, Clyde has been the one who was threatening to kill you. What are you talking about?
She doesn’t know what she’s saying.
What?
She’s brainwashed.
No, Clyde only told me the truth. He said you’re both bad people and you– and you want to hurt me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mom, I–I’m your daughter. I would never, ever hurt you. OK? I love you. Mom, I would–
No! I–I have to do this.
Cat.
[yelps] [gunshot] No!
[tense music]
I wouldn’t get too cocky with that gun, JJ.
You wouldn’t want to put your ex in a coma, would you? Like you did that poor Theo Carver.
I’m not playing around, JJ. You shoot me, my reflexes pull this trigger. Now, you kick that gun over here, or Gabi gets a bullet.
[breathing shakily]
That’s a good boy.
Now… what am I gonna do with the two of you?
Wow. Huh. My God. My own mom tried to kill me. If you didn’t tackle her when you did, I– my mom tried to shoot me. [phone beeps] What? What is it?
It’s JJ. He just sent an SOS. We need to go to Clyde’s apartment–now.
I–I can’t leave my mother here. I– [sighs] I mean–
Don’t let her out of your sight.
Ah, so Kristen accused you of being interested in me, huh? [chuckles]
Mm-hmm. Not really surprised by that, are you?
Mm, I mean, not really. I did tell you just now that after she found us together, she and I got into it. She thinks that I am moving in on her territory. You know, kept going on and on about how I like to… take other people’s men.
[holiday music]
I’m sorry about that.
[laughing] What are you sorry about? I mean, look, she’s not totally wrong. It’s happened. But anyway, you cannot control her delusions.
That’s a strong point. True.
Mm-hmm, it is. And, you know, if she’s paranoid enough to think that I made a play for you, it makes sense that she would think it worked. Right?
Right.
I mean, even if it’s ultimately unlikely.
Right.
[chuckles] Ridiculous, right?
Yeah, that’s crazy. That’s–
Yeah.
Is it, though? Is it–I mean, is it ridiculous and unlikely that two single people who get along really well–
Is it that far-fetched that there would be nothing going on between them?
[chuckles] – Rafe, I’m gonna have to call you back.
Hello. [chuckles] What do we have here?
Hey, Leo.
So I’m guessing your date went well last night, since it seems to have carried over into the morning and now the afternoon.
Actually, not that it’s any of your business, Leo, but Kerry and I did not go home together last night.
Aw. So there was no real attraction between you two?
Oh, there was. A whole lot of attraction. I just didn’t want to make the same mistake I made with you, so… we’ve decided to take it slow. Just for now, anyway.
[dramatic music]
Mom.
Everything is gonna be OK, I promise. I promise, we’re gonna figure out whatever it is that Clyde did to you, and we’re gonna find a way to undo it.
[scoffs] You can make all the promises you want. I don’t believe a word coming out of your lying mouth.
Mom, listen to me, OK? I am your daughter, I swear. I swear, I–
You know what? When I was little, you used to call me Kitty Cat. Remember? You used to call me Kitty Cat. And every day before school, you would wake me up, singing… * Meow, meow, Kitty Cat * * Time to wake up * And then you bought me this stuffed cat that had a little spot on the paw. And it was because I– see, I have this– this freckle right here that you called a beauty mark. You said–you said that only the specialist kinds of little kitty cats had marks like these because– because I was your– [sighs] I was your special kitty cat, Mom. [sobs] It’s really me. It’s really me.
Cat?
[crying]
Is it really you?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
[chuckles]
Oh. Oh, Cat. I’m so, so sorry.
[gentle music] I can’t believe I was gonna hurt you.
It’s OK. It’s OK. None of that matters. None of that matters anymore because I have you back. That’s all that matters. That’s all I care about.
Please… untie me so I can– I can hug my baby girl.
[crying]
[holiday music]
So you’re saying that… Kristen’s crazy delusions about you and me are not that crazy after all.
Oh, no, no, no. They’re crazy.
Oh. [chuckles]
I mean, nutty.
OK.
I mean, come on, there’s obviously nothing– there’s nothing going on here.
Nope. Nope.
Right? No, it’s just that you make it sound like as if you could never be attracted to me and I could never be attracted to you and crazier than that is, we’d be attracted to each other.
No.
That’s what it sounds like.
No, I didn’t mean that.
Oh, OK.
That’s not what I meant, OK?
Then what’d you mean, then?
Look, I meant that– mm, OK.
All right, I’m–I’m not saying it’s–it’s–it’s totally out of the question that at some point, you and I may move beyond a friendship.
Ooh.
But look, I mean, it’s just–it’s absolutely nuts that Kristen has any reason to be jealous now, right? I mean, since you and I, we– we’ve barely hung out, and we’ve had just a few brief conversations. And honestly, they’ve mostly been about your son and my employee Sophia, right?
True.
So, yeah, I– it’s not like we’ve ever focused on, you know, getting to know each other.
Right?
Right. But maybe it’s time we did… focus on that.
So is there anything else inquiring minds need to know?
No. Look, I’m just being friendly, OK?
No, you’re not being friendly, Leo. You’re being nosy, which is part of your job, right, since you write a gossip column? Oh, no, wait. I’m Lady Whistleblower now, right? You’ve moved on to writing novelas.
Right. I have. Which means anything you tell me goes no further than the Brady Pub. Although I will undoubtedly tell my shrink, who is helping me to recover from… ruining a really good thing. In fact, it was her who urged me to apologize for being an idiot. And I had to tell her that said apology fell on deaf ears, which made her feel terrible, like she had failed me.
Wait, why would I care that your shrink feels terrible?
Well, you wouldn’t… [scoffs] Obviously. I was just pointing out that that poor woman, whose ego is now bruised for having made things worse for me, would likely benefit from knowing that– that maybe you aren’t so angry with me anymore and that maybe you’ve realized that I have a good heart…
And that– that I am way more fun than this guy.
[scoffs] I beg your pardon?
OK, look, I’m sorry. I don’t know that for a fact. You seem like a nice enough guy, reasonably intelligent. I just don’t really get a fun vibe from you.
OK, enough. You don’t get to insult Kerry.
What, it’s not–it’s just an observation, that’s all. Some people just aren’t fun or funny. That doesn’t mean Kerry doesn’t have plenty of other wonderful attributes. Like, I would bet you are…
Good at math? Maybe he has wonderful handwriting. Not that anybody writes by hand anymore. It is a dying art.
OK, you know, Leo, one thing I do pride myself on is having excellent taste.
Ah, there you go.
And you’re the new head writer of “Body & Soul,” aren’t you?
You watch it?
I grew up on it. Used to be a great show.
[chuckles] Used to be?
Yeah, before you ran it into the ground.
[gentle music]
It’s tangled. There we go. OK.
Oh, my sweet girl.
[chuckles]
Oh! I love you so much.
Oh, I love you too, Mom.
Thank you. Thank you for rescuing me.
[tense music]
Wait a sec. Wait. What are you doing? Stop. What are you doing? What are you doing?
I’m sorry, sweetheart.
What are you doing?
I can’t let that son of a bitch get away with this.
Mom? Mom! No, no, no, no, no. Mom. Mom!
You know, I’ve done enough business to know when supply exceeds what the situation demands. Like now, for instance. I got myself two hostages when all I really need is one. So I guess that makes you expendable.
What, are you just gonna shoot him? [breathing shakily]
Oh, I could shoot you instead.
Huh, I didn’t think so. It does seem a bit cruel to old Jack and Jennifer, though. I mean, after all, I did take the life of their daughter, Abigail. And now to do the same to their son?
But, you know, them’s the breaks.
[gasps]
So what you saying, Brady?
What am I saying? I’m saying I got two tickets to the hottest show in town, right? “The Nutcracker.”
[laughs]
Now, it’s a great show. It is festive, fun, and traditional. And my daughter obviously has seen it. So I would love if you would go with me. I’ll even splurge for dinner.
Oh.
All right, and I’m not talking about the Bistro, OK?
Oh. Oh.
And I’ll give you one even better.
What’s that?
We don’t even have to talk about my son or Sophia at all.
All right.
Now, listen, if you’re scared…
Oh.
Of incurring the wrath of Kristen DiMera, then you– you don’t have to go.
OK. There’s something you need to know about me. I don’t scare easily.
So what are you saying?
I’m saying it’s a date.
[chuckles]
FYI, the network is very happy with “Body & Soul’s” writing, and our numbers are excellent.
Well, as if that’s gonna last. I mean, really, who needs to waste time watching when they can just get the 4 from the new and improved Lady W?
For your information, viewers will soon only be able to get said 4 by tuning in because I’ve hired a private detective to stop the story leaks.
Great. Good luck to you, Leo. Bye. Adios.
Yeah, adios to you too also. Vaya con Dios.
So…
Mm.
Taylor or Beyoncé? both: Gaga.
[chuckles]
[tense music]
[groans]
Wakey, wakey, Clyde.
Chad? [groans]
I bet you’re surprised to see me. Thought I was dead, didn’t you? Sent Cat’s mother to kill me. Whom you obviously brainwashed.
Well… never hurts to have a spare assassin, you know. [grunts] Besides, she was already a hostage. I figure I might as well make use of her.
No, it was a smart plan. Too bad it failed. You see, Cat’s with Catharina right now at the Pink Kitten, keeping an eye on her. She’s gonna make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone.
[line ringing]
Come on, Chad, pick up the phone. [sighs]
[line clicks] [scoffs]
[line beeps] Voicemail, damn. [breathing shakily] Chad, it’s Cat. My mother is on the way to Clyde’s apartment. She has the gun.
Yeah, seems like that spare assassin plan didn’t work out too well, did it?
That little game you played with my life, with Cat’s life, that’s over now, Clyde.
Why don’t you just tell me what you did with Abby’s body?
Yeah, I–
I suppose that’s the least I could do for you, seeing how you’ve won this round.
I’ll tell you the truth about Abigail. But you ain’t gonna like it.
I’m listening.
Yeah? Well, Abigail is– [gunshot]
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