Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
[door opens]
Hey, primo.
Hey, Javier.
Ooh, you know what? I can use one of those.
Yeah.
[dramatic music]
Cheers.
Here’s to you being back at work, Commish. So how was today? Did you solve any crimes?
Hmm. Guess you haven’t heard, then. I didn’t go back to work.
You didn’t? Why not?
Mm-mm. Because I am not the commissioner anymore. Jada is.
[distant siren wailing]
Mayor Price.
Commissioner.
How’s Abe? Is he okay?
He’s doing better. But I’m not, nor will I be… until we track down that deranged woman who landed him on his back. So just tell me… have you found Hattie Adams?
[distant siren wailing]
Well, I didn’t want the day to pass before I wished you a happy birthday. A-and good luck with the writing. Okay. Bye. [cell phone beeps] Oh. Leo, I didn’t know we had–
We had an appointment? We didn’t. What is your rate for walk-ins? Double, triple?
It doesn’t work like that.
[scoffs] Well, that makes sense, because nothing is working for me, Dr. Evans. In fact, my life is over.
[exhales sharply]
[knocking on door, door opens]
Johnny.
Hey. [door closes]
I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing.
Uh, yeah, I mean, physically, I’m doing much better, not so achy. But, mentally, Dad, I-I just– I don’t know if I can– I don’t know if I can do this. I’m going crazy.
So you’re still beating yourself up for cheating on your wife with that actress?
Yeah, with “that actress,” okay, who now has a huge presence in our lives, who works with Chanel and I every single day, who Chanel keeps inviting to dinner. I mean, my wife is… She’s the best person I know. She’s kind. She’s loyal. She’s generous. And not only have I cheated on her, but now I’m lying to her about it, pretending as if it never even happened. I can’t go on like this, Dad.
Alex, please. You have to promise me that you’re not going to tell anybody what I told you about me and Johnny. Promise me. [knocking on door]
I need to get that. Chanel, hi.
Hey, uh, Alex. I’m–I’m sorry to bother you. I-I heard you weren’t feeling well.
It’s cool. Yeah, it’s cool. I’m actually… [clears throat] Feeling a little bit better.
Oh, okay. Well, great. Do you mind if I come in? There’s actually something I need to tell you.
There’ actually something I need to tell you, too.
[soft orchestration] announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”
Leo… your life is over? I mean, w-we’ve talked about this black-and-white thinking, haven’t we?
I don’t know. But when I was a kid, my mother used to sit me down in front of these old black-and-white movies. And if I so much as yawned, she’d be like, “Oh, is this too boring for you, Siskel? Or should I call you Ebert?”
I’m not sure what to say to that. Look, let’s put the hyperbole aside. Why don’t you tell me what happened?
Well, I’m having a problem, a really big problem, one that has no solution. In fact, things are so bad, I’m looking at these one-bedroom flats in these dreary little English cities, someplace where nobody knows me, where I can start over.
Okay, Leo, Leo, just tell me what happened.
Okay. Well, my entire career and my burgeoning, oh, so promising love life have all gone up in smoke, just like that.
Oh. Well, I’m surprised to hear that. I didn’t know that you were having a relationship.
I’m not anymore. And it wasn’t really a relationship yet. See, it was very new, but it was amazing. And it was kind of perfect, and I ruined it.
How do you think you did that?
I don’t think I did. I know that I did. I met this guy, Javier Hernandez. He was witty. He was charming. He was incredibly good-looking. And now he never wants to talk to me again.
So Jada did a great job while yours truly was out of commission, and the mayor offered her the job.
And what? So they sent you to the mailroom? Did she fire you?
No. No. I was basically offered her old job, and I didn’t want it, so I resigned.
Wow. I can see it now. “Commissioner Hernandez, sworn protector of every man, hangs up his hat.”
Okay. You might want to tone that down a little bit, but, yeah. Anyway, I noticed you didn’t come home last night.
How’d you know I didn’t come home last night?
Because I didn’t see a long fur coat draped across the couch.
Okay, just so you know, it’s not real fur. I am an animal lover.
Noted. So… hot date, huh?
I did have one. It cooled off quickly… [sighs] When he revealed himself to be a giant idiot.
Son, haven’t we spoken about this? I thought we both agreed that no good can come from you telling Chanel about your one-time transgression.
“One-time transgression.” What, is that DA speak for cheating on your wife?
Johnny, you’re entitled to do whatever you feel is best, of course. But you and Chanel have something very, very special. And perhaps keeping quiet is–
But I-I did decide to keep quiet, remember? And then as you know, Chanel decided to invite Joy over to watch the premiere of “Body & Soul” with us.
Yes, I remember. I ushered her in. And I also remember seeing you nestled between the two of them on the couch. That must have been very awkward.
It was more than awkward. It was excruciating. Dad, I don’t know if I can keep this up.
So then what? You’re just going to tell Chanel the truth?
Hey, Joy.
Hey, Chanel. Um, Alex and I were just running lines, until he started feeling sick, that is. I thought I’d keep an eye on him. What in God’s name was in those cupcakes?
Actually, that’s why I’m here. So it turns out that the Health Department was able to analyze those cupcakes, and– the ones that weren’t eaten, obviously– and it turns out that they didn’t come from Sweet Bits.
Ah, so you weren’t trying to poison your co-stars, huh?
[chuckles] You know, that would have been a good way to get some more screen time, but, nope. I didn’t even think of it.
Ah. Well, all joking aside… I am glad that nobody messed with your bakery.
Yeah, me too. I am completely relieved. But, anyway, um, Alex, it’s your turn. Uh, what did you want to tell me?
So who is this “idiot” that you speak of? Or did you get his name?
Oh, believe me, I got his name. Leo Stark.
Leo? Wow. Yeah, come to think of it… as I recall, you two were flirting the other night in the Small Bar, but I was under the impression that Gabi put the kibosh on it.
Oh, she sure tried to. She said to me, “Primo, siéntatewhile I tell you what a creep that Leo Stark is.” But did I listen? No. And… it just really hurts, you know?
Yeah. Yeah, obviously. All right, so I’m curious. What exactly did Leo do?
[dramatic music]
So you’ve accused Javier of being Lady Whistleblower?
Right. And I know what you’re thinking, Dr. Evans. How could that guy be Lady Whistleblower when I am Lady Whistleblower? But the thing is, I’m not anymore. I eschewed my nom de plume to become the head writer of “Body & Soul.”
Yes. Yes, that’s right. So it would seem that Javier is–
An impostor. Exactly. A sham Lady Whistleblower, who is not only pretending to be moi but spoiling upcoming storylines. In fact, she told everyone that Charlemagne’s not–
Not what?
Not important. What matters is that this cheap knockoff is spoiling my show in “The Spectator”– my former paper. Can you imagine how angry I am? My fists are, like, permanently clenched.
So you think the person pretending to be Lady Whistleblower is Javier?
Well, I thought so. But now I think I may have jumped to the wrong conclusion.
We haven’t been able to locate Hattie yet. But, Mayor, I can assure you that we are doing everything we can.
Have you tried looking under your desk?
What? I don’t–
Because unless she’s tunneled into the building, I’m assuming… Nope. She’s not in the office. So why are you?
Mayor, look–
You and every other officer should be out there beating the bushes. Now, need I remind you, Commissioner, that I put you in this job because I trusted you to get results? But, you know… I’m–I’m starting to wonder if I should regret that decision.
I know that I promised Joy I wouldn’t say anything to Chanel or anyone else for that matter. But, Dad, I mean, the guilt– it’s killing me, okay? And not to mention that I’m constantly in fear that Chanel’s going to figure it out somehow, that she’s going to realize what I did.
Well, you never did have much of a poker face.
Ah.
[pats leg] But, seriously, you think, what– Chanel is just going to look at you one day and go, “Ah, this man has trespassed against me, and I know exactly how he did it”?
Honestly, yeah. Yeah, I do think that could happen. Nobody knows me like Chanel. Even if she can’t read it on my face, what worries me even more is if she were to find out some other way. – So are you going to tell me? Or are you going to start a game of charades?
Uh, Chanel, I forgot to ask you. How’s, uh–how’s Johnny doing? Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. It’s just this morning when we were watching the show, he had a cupcake, too, right?
Yeah. Yeah, he was actually feeling pretty sick himself. But he’s starting to feel much better now.
Oh, well, that’s a relief.
Yeah, it is. I mean, I thought he was kind of delirious for a second there because he was talking in his sleep, and he never does that.
Really? That’s strange.
Yeah. Yeah, and what was even more strange is he was talking about you.
Madam Mayor, I can assure you that although I am physically here in this office, I am doing everything I can to track down Hattie Adams.
Would you care to expand on that?
As I mentioned, I have officers working very closely with the Health Department to determine the origin of the tainted cupcakes. I am also following a few leads with my counterparts in other jurisdictions in regards to Hattie’s whereabouts in the days since she decamped from Salem. And, Mayor, I am sure you’re aware that your husband is not the only victim of a crime here in Salem. I have several families… who want justice for their loved ones. And as commissioner of this city’s police department, I have to direct my attention on those cases as well. But, of course, if you are not happy with my performance, then you are more than welcome to give the job back to Rafe.
[dramatic music]
This is amusing to you, is it?
[laughing] Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? It’s just… It’s not funny, all right? But Leo accusing you of taking his old job so you could destroy his new job–I mean… Look, I don’t use the word “narcissist” that much, but, I mean, wow, yikes.
Yeah, well, I’m glad it’s comic relief to you, but I became quite intimate with this jerk. And I even felt myself becoming– I don’t know–smitten a little. He had the nerve– the gall to question my integrity? [scoffs]
And then all of the dots started to connect. See, I walked in on Javi tapping away at my computer, which is a total invasion of privacy. And this was right after he said that “the fans would kill to know what’s on there.” And he also mentioned that he needs a second job to make ends meet. And before you say, why do you think Javi would stoop to that level? Dr. Evans, I invented that level.
So… case closed?
Well, you would think so. But then I stormed over to his office to accuse him of spoiling my show, and he denies everything. Worse than that, he starts poking holes in every single part of my story, talking about how improbable the whole thing was. And the more he said so, the more–
You began to believe him.
But it’s too late now. I mean, you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. And now Javi wants nothing to do with me. [sighs] Dr. Evans… why do I do this to myself? It’s like I have a PhD in self-sabotage.
How could I be so stupid?
I mean, who does he think he is? God’s gift to novelas? I mean, the very idea that I would even date him or whatever just to steal his stupid story so then I could, what, become Lady Whistleblower? [scoffs] I mean, as abuelaused to say, “Ese ahí mismo es un loco.” That man right there is a crazy person.
Mm. Mm-hmm. I mean, you know, Javi, if– if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re a little defensive.
Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?
Well, it just means, um…
No, what are you trying to say? Don’t dance around it.
Okay, then. Are you the new Lady Whistleblower?
Okay, so… you’re worried that even if you don’t tell Chanel about what happened, she’ll find out anyway.
Yeah, I am.
But, Johnny, how could she?
Well, when she came to check on me earlier, she said I was talking in my sleep.
[sighs] Okay, um, and did she tell you what you said?
Yeah. Yeah, apparently I said something to the effect of, “No, Joy. We can’t do this.”
[clears throat]
Luckily, I was able to cover. I said that I was dreaming about directing Joy in a scene. But what about next time? All right, maybe instead of… worrying about what I’m going to blurt out in my sleep, I should just come clean while I’m awake.
So Johnny was talking in his sleep about me?
[laughs] Yeah. Yeah, he was. I guess apparently he was directing you in a scene. And then the two of you got into an argument about how you should play it. And so he was saying, “No, Joy. We shouldn’t do this.”
Huh. [chuckles] That’s crazy.
I know, right? But I guess that just goes to show how dedicated he is to his craft. I mean, even struck down with food poisoning, he’s still dreaming about work. And, you know, seeing him sick like that, it really just– it made me realize how much I love that guy and how just lucky I am to have him in my life. You know?
Mm-hmm.
But, anyway, I-I should get back to him. Oh, yeah, Alex, weren’t you going to tell me something?
[dramatic music]
[clears throat]
It seems like you two are having some sort of telepathic conversation or something.
No, no, I just…
I don’t know if I’m going to be well enough to make it to work tomorrow. So I wouldn’t even bother learning your lines, to be honest.
[chuckles] Okay, well, I think someone forgot that tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We’re off.
Right. Thanksgiving, mm, day off. Ugh.
Yeah, which we all clearly need right now, huh?
Yeah.
All right. So how about you get some rest and hydrate? And, um, it was good seeing you, Joy.
You too.
Thank you, Chanel. Thank you.
All right. Uh-huh. Take care.
All right. [door closes]
Thank you, Alex, for not telling her about me and Johnny.
I didn’t do it for you. Don’t get me wrong–I’m not saying you’re the one to blame. Johnny obviously shouldn’t have cheated. The person I’m doing it for is Chanel.
Listen, son, you know where I stand, so I’ll simply say that while you may feel that telling Chanel the truth will unburden you, alleviate your–your guilt… I truly believe… that this will most likely only compound the suffering for both of you. Son, I-I truly believe that before long, you and Joy will be able to move past what happened between you and simply coexist. And this incident will be remembered by you merely as a-a speed bump on the long, beautiful road that is your marriage to Chanel.
Yeah, if only.
Johnny, it will happen, but not if you give in to this irrational need to confess to Chanel that for one night, you were unfaithful, but only because you believed she was. Son… if you say something now, it could cost you dearly. So you need to seriously ask yourself this question. Is this a cliff? Or is this just a speed bump? Now, I know I can offer you advice, but I can’t force you to take it. This is your life. This is your decision. So, whatever it is… you need to make the best one that is right for you.
Jada… Forgive me if my tone was abrasive. I don’t want to replace you. Of course I don’t. I think you’re more than qualified for the job. I-I just– I… I let my emotions just get the best of me. And you got to understand. Now, this woman– she poisoned my husband.
I know.
And, you know, while I’m grateful– very grateful that Abe is going to make a quick recovery, the idea of that– that lunatic on the lam… But I shouldn’t have– I shouldn’t have taken my worry out on you.
I understand. I know what it feels like to lose sleep over a deranged individual who’s trying to hurt someone that you love. And I can assure you… that Hattie Adams will not be on the lam for long. We will find her, and that is a promise.
Did you really just ask me if I’m the new– Forgive me for saying this, Rafael, but maybe it’s a good thing that you’re no longer on the force because your detective skills, man, are a little rusty.
It was a yes-or-no question.
No, I am not Lady Whistleblower. I never was Lady Whistleblower. And I never will be Lady Whistleblower. And I’m insulted that you would even ask that.
Okay. Look, I am sorry, all right? I was just asking a question.
And first of all, I would come up with a much better alias than Lady Whistleblower.
Oh, yeah? Like what?
Like… Beatrice Shoehorn.
“Beatrice Shoehorn”?
What’s wrong with Beatrice Shoehorn?
Um, it’s–it’s fine.
Oh, I’m so glad that you find this all so funny… because I actually am hurt and disappointed and angry… ‘Cause I actually like Leo.
You like Leo. Okay. Can I ask why?
Because he’s… funny and… sexy and kind of eccentric but in a good way. And there’s this– I don’t know– resilience he had that I admired. And I miss him already.
Okay, listen, I am sorry that you’re hurting. Um… and I’m sure that this is cold comfort to you right now, but believe me when I say this– you dodged a bullet.
So, if you want my opinion for the likely reason that you were pushing away Javier–
Oh, believe me, I do. Your opinions are incredible. I even love the way you give them in this hoity-toity, yet mensch-y kind of way.
“Hoity-toity, yet mensch-y kind of way.” I haven’t heard myself described that way.
Oh, it’s true, and I mean it as the greatest of compliments.
Thank you.
You must realize that it’s possible that a-a therapist can misread a situation from time to time. But in your case… I suspect that you were so hurt… by Dimitri… you didn’t want to go through that pain again. You didn’t want to hurt that way again. So, instead of opening yourself up to a relationship, you just sabotage the relationship.
That explanation sounds like a skeleton key to every relationship I’ve ever been in.
So that sounds like an accurate picture of what you’ve been doing?
Yeah, but I don’t want to push people away, Dr. Evans. I am through with my era of binge-watching “The Nanny” and crying into a weighted blanket.
Look, maybe you’re not consciously pushing people away.
Oh, so you’re saying that I– Wait. I don’t know what you’re saying. And I don’t really care. I just want to make it stop.
You’re doing exactly what you need to do to make it stop. You’re in therapy. We’re looking at your early-childhood traumas… all the things that came out of that period of time. And now you’re in therapy, and you’re– you’re learning to trust other people. And pretty soon you’re going to be able to have authentic relationships.
Yeah. Therapy is great, especially when it’s covered by insurance. But is there anything I could do more immediately to make things better with Javi?
There is. You could apologize to him.
What did that admin at the Health Department say? No, no, no, no, no, it’s not carrot cake. Make sure they know it’s cupcakes. Yeah, and let me know when you get any updates about the origin. All right.
Hey.
Mm, hey.
Any luck finding Hattie?
No. And Mayor Price is breathing down my neck.
Ooh. [chuckles] Yeah. I remember those days. Oh, figured it’d be a long night, so I brought you… some sustenance.
You are such a lifesaver. Thank you.
[soft music] So any sage advice on how to deal with a helicopter mayor?
Hmm. [inhales sharply] I’d say, keep her as informed as you need to and don’t let her push you around.
I’m trying not to, but Mayor Price is one tough cookie.
Hmm.
Hold it right there. Don’t you move.
Oh, Paulina.
That’s Mayor Price to you.
All right. U-uh, what’s going on?
What’s going on is, I’m making a citizen’s arrest.
[dramatic music]
So you didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to hurt Chanel?
Chanel and I have both had our ups and downs together, but at the end of the day, I consider her a good friend. When she started going on and on about how much she loves Johnny and how much he means to her… I just thought, why should I be the one to take that away from her? Even though part of me thinks that she definitely deserves to know the truth.
Stop the presses. [giggles]
Hey, you. How’s it going?
I have some news–good news, like, really good news.
Okay, well, what is it?
Okay, so those spiked cupcakes– it turns out that they did not come from Sweet Bits.
That’s great. That’s great. I am so happy to hear that.
Oh, me too after all that tossing and turning and worrying.
I, too, am delighted to hear that. Um… I’m going to fill up your glass for you. Uh, more ginger ale?
Please, yes.
Oh, Chanel, I want you to thank your mother for me.
Uh, for what?
When she knocked that cupcake out of my hand, she saved me a lot of suffering.
[laughs] Okay, I’ll thank her.
Thank you. Bye.
So, after I went to Sweet Bits, I stopped by Alex’s to give him the good news.
Mm-hmm. And how’s he doing?
Uh, he’s–he’s doing much better, actually. He’s almost fully recovered, also thanks to Joy.
Uh, Joy?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. When I got there, they said that they were “running lines.”
And what? You–you don’t believe her?
[laughs] I mean… I don’t know. It kind of looked like something was going on between them.
Huh.
What would a month in Thailand not fix? [knocking on door]
Javi, hi. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Leo, what do you want?
Uh, well, these– these are for you. They’re begonias. We used them on the show. They–they saved Kassandra’s life.
And now I was hoping that maybe they could save our relationship.
Paulina, I’m not–
Save it, Hattie. The jig is up. And you have some nerve walking around the square with that cupcake.
Oh, uh, it’s an almond croissant. And they’re half off after 8:00 p.m.
[stammers] Oh, Lordy. Marlena?
Mm-hmm.
Oh. Oh, my goodness. Oh. Ooh, I’m– I’m so sorry, Marlena. I– F-forgive me. I thought you were–
It’s okay. It’s okay. I understand.
You know, I’m just so frantic, you know, trying to find that woman who poisoned Abe. I just–I can’t think of anything else.
It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. Tell you what, why don’t I–
Oh, again, I’m so sorry.
Why don’t I– Let me just buy you a nice cup of tea, something in a– like, an herbal decaf tea. Hmm?
Oh.
So… what have you been up to?
Mm… just listening to the sordid details of Javi’s love life.
Didn’t he just come into town?
Mm-hmm.
There’s sordid details already?
Leo works fast.
Leo?
Yeah, Leo. See… he and Javi went on a date.
Uh-huh.
And to say that Javi regrets it, well, that’d be an understatement.
Shocking.
Mm-hmm. And hopefully my cousin has learned his lesson and steers clear from him from now on.
[dramatic music]
“Relationship”? [scoffs] I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Leo, but we don’t have a relationship.
No. No, no, no. Those are either yours, or I’m going to give them to this really cute parking-lot attendant who tells me I look like Cillian Murphy.
You don’t look like him, Leo.
Yeah, I know. I don’t think so either. Look, Javi, I really am sorry. I made a big mistake throwing around accusations like that. I have a lot of work to do on myself–I know that. But I really do like you.
I was hoping you would be willing to give me one more chance.
One more chance. Yeah… I don’t think so.
Listen… Alex, whatever the reason is that you decided to keep what I told you confidential, please hold on to that, because before long, Johnny and I– we won’t even remember we hooked up and what happened between us. It’ll be–it’ll be in the past. For Chanel. I mean, what she doesn’t know… will never hurt her, right?
[scoffs]
Alex… if you really are her friend… I think it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.
Really? You think something might be going on between Alex and Joy? Why?
I mean, I-I don’t know. I just kind of sensed a vibe between them.
Huh. “A vibe?”
Mm-hmm. You know, like, you can tell, right? I mean, I would be a little bit surprised if it happened so soon after what happened with Alex and Stephanie. But if there is something going on between the two of them, I-I would be really happy for Joy. I mean, I know how it is to be new in this town. I was new once, and I remember how lonely it was. That’s part of why I made so many mistakes when I first got here.
Look, Chanel, I, uh–
What? What is it?
Ah, it’s–it’s nothing. I was just… thinking about how lucky I am to be married to someone like you.
Mm.
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