General Hospital Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
[ Cellphone rings ] Hello, you. Don’t hang up. I think we need to talk. There’s no time like the present. Why does this feel like déj vu? I don’t know, maybe because we apologize to each other, like. Two or three times a day. Think we’d be used to it by now. Yeah, maybe that’s it. So since we’ve played this scene before, can we just fast forward to the part where we’re friends again? We could. But I don’t know that we should. Your op-ed is less of an opinion and more of a hit piece. I stand by what I wrote. You st– your stand by this?
“The invader’s interjection of opinion into the reporting of facts is not only lamentable but an ethical slippery slope”? You issued a challenge. I accepted. I’ll say so. Now the question is, can you set your ego aside and accept mine? Your ego? My challenge.
[ Chuckles ] What do you mean elizabeth is gone? You just missed her. She signed herself out. Is that a good idea? She came of her own volition. She had the power to leave any time. Are you saying that elizabeth left against your recommendation? Then you know as well as I do that was a mistake. Hey, can you look at this? Is it boring? Yes. Then I live for it. What is it? Epiphany made some last-minute changes to the nursing rotation.
[ Exhales sharply ] Also, I wanted to ask you about that society setups mixer. Oh, god. What now? A new gif from another angle? No, nothing like that. I was so impressed with the clientele that I signed up. Well, then.
[ Chuckles ] Hope you have better luck than me. Hey. So, wait, do we have enough coverage for tonight? Elizabeth: Problem solved. I’m back and reporting for duty. Where do you need me?
[ Sighs ] Mama falconeri. Hey. Well, it’s quartermaine now. Yeah, I — I know, I know. But, uh, you know, I thought of you as mama falconeri for all these years, so I hate to break tradition. Well, then, don’T. I answer to both. What can I do for you, ma’am? Well, actually, you already have. You’ve made a forever friend in my son, leo. Leo’s a great kid. Yeah, he can’t stop raving about cowboy cody and how he can answer any question about horses. Well, it’s nice to have an appreciative audience, you know? Yeah, it’s kind of funny. You grew up making trouble with my one son and showing the ropes to my other one. Handling horses is a lot like getting to know people. Sometimes it’s a lot easier. Yeah, I would say with the exception of my son leo, horses are a lot smarter than the men in my life. Valentin: Hello, laura. Glad I found you. You mind if I join you? No, not at all. Is charlotte alright? I believe so. Why wouldn’t she be? Why else would you be seeking me out? Charlotte is healthy and safe, and I promise there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure she remains so. C-a-s-s-a-d-I-n-e, and the first name valentin. He was recuperating at your clinic several weeks ago, and I know you wouldn’t obviously normally release that kind of patient information, but this is an ongoing official investigation with the wsb. Oh, yeah, yeah , I can send overmy credentials immediately. Would you please then have director gibson call me back on this number? Right. Thank you. No, I appreciate it. Thanks. Bye. Good morning, agent devane. Good morning, victor. You stalking or lurking? No, out for a morning constitutional is all. An agenda-free stroll. Why don’t I believe you? I would have announced myself earlier, but I saw you were preoccupied investigating my son.
You don’t want to be friends? Of course I do, and we are. Okay, then what? I just don’t think we bring out the best in each other. That maybe our friendship — as much as it means to both of us — is unhealthy. You may have a point. I mean, this pattern that we’ve fallen into — all the fighting and apologizing. Not to mention I inspired you to punch someone. I guess you could say it’S… childish? Codependent? I was gonna say tricky, thesaurus boy. Forget being a cop. You could work for webster’S. Well, if I went to work for webster’s, how would you benefit from that? Ouch. I’m sorry. Don’t be. I deserve that. I realize you haven’t had the opportunity to do more than skim the op-ed. Well, I can’t wait to sit down and just take it all in. The gist of it is that invader coverage blurs the lines between objective reporting and editorializing. I challenge your staff to commit to objectivity at all costs. Well, first of all,
the invader is a newspaper, not a wire service. What, are you saying only wire services can be objective? I’m saying that the newspaper has to have a point of view. Hmm. Still, the invader is miles ahead of where it was when peter august was at the helm. Mm. Damning me with faint praise? Not at all. No, I think you’ve led the invader to become a journal not unworthy of respect. As an editor, I need to point out the double negative. I used it for effect. Sure you did. Still, as far as the invader has come, there’s still room for improvement. For both of you. You’re just chock full of suggestions. 1,000 words of them, mostly scathing. Listening to you now, I’m reminded of a criticism I omitted. There’s more? Your penchant for hyperbole. You know what I think? I’m eager to hear. I think the good professor is so accustomed to dusty, dry tomes, that he just isn’t used to contemporary journalism. And if I may? Oh, by all means. I conclude the humble — that’s irony, by the way — I recognize it. The humble editrix is unused to being challenged. You know I can’t discuss specifics of elizabeth’s treatment. You don’t have to explain doctor/patient confidentiality to me, okay? I don’t want the details, kevin. I just — I want your honest determination. Did elizabeth discharge herself prematurely? Look, all I can say is if a patient no longer wants intensive therapy, that’s their call. As for elizabeth, I take heart in knowing that she has a good support system at home. As long as she doesn’t push everyone away. Yeah, I’m afraid it’s gonna take time and patience. Hey, listen, I’ll — I’ll hang back. I’ll — I’ll give her time. Seems like that’s all I’m doing these days. But how do I know? How do I know if I’m giving her the space to heal or the room to relapse? You don’T. You didn’t tell me you were coming in today. It’s time. I’m ready. Britt: Good to see you, nurse baldwin. Thank you. It’s good to be seen. So how about it? Put me in, coach. I’d be happy to as soon as I hear from hr that you’re cleared. Oh, let’s just skip the red tape. And it sounds to me like you guys are shorthanded.
[ Chuckles ] While I love the enthusiasm, the hospital has policies. Protocol after a — I know what protocol is. I’ve worked here longer than you. Hang on, biz. You were probably hoping that you’d gotten rid of me for good. Actually, I was hoping you’d have a speedy recovery and come back to work soon. You’re an excellent nurse, and, yes, we are short staffed. So what’s the problem? Do I need flashcards? If you want to come back, you have to be cleared by hr. So go to hr and get cleared. This is so like you. I’m sure you’ve convinced everyone else that you’ve turned over a new leaf, but I see it pretty clearly. “The britch” is back and britchier than ever. Well, tell me, anna, what possible reason could you have for looking into valentin’s private medical records? Have you ever heard the quote, “we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are”? Your point? Given your own villainy, it makes sense that you would ascribe nefarious intent to others. Oh, anna. Cynicism is an ugly look on such an attractive woman. As is misogyny on such a dapper man. Yet here we are.
[ Chuckles ] You are such a joy, anna. I try. Always a quick riposte and the appropriate literary reference. Oh, thank you. The question, however, remains. Does valentin know you’re a spy in and out of the bedroom? Yes. Why? Oh, asking only as a concerned parent. What exactly is the nature of your relationship with my son? What is the nature of yours? Valentin, I know that I don’t say this often enough, but I am actually grateful that charlotte has you to watch out for her. Well, that is certainly nothing I would expect to hear you say.
[ Chuckles ] Yes, I know. We have had our difficulties in the past, but I can’t deny that you’re an excellent parent. Well, thank you, laura. Coming from you, that means more than I can express. Yeah. Well, if this little visit is not about charlotte, then to what do I owe the pleasure? Just a drink between friends. I’ll have a bloody mary, please. And for the mayor? An iced tea. Coming right up. Just an iced tea? Day drinking is not a good look for the mayor, especially after an attempted recall. I’m so grateful that ridiculous campaign to oust you failed. You were a wonderful mayor, and port charles thrived under your leadership. Why do you talk about my tenure in the past tense?
When I offered to manage your singing career, I really did it to help you. Primarily. What percentage was to help me? 90… 85. Hand to heart. Yeah, I believe you. I hate that you’re out a paycheck for defending my honor again. My actions were my own. Yeah, but I put you in the middle of my mistakes and two guys who anyone would want to punch. That is true. So even though it wasn’t my main goal when I was pitching you the whole idea, the revenge part just sort of slipped in. Slipped? So it wasn’t always there in the back of your mind? Of course it was.
[ Chuckles ] Well, then, why not just come out and say it? Tell me the plan from the get-go. Because I didn’t want you to think I was using you. And were you? Using me? Well, I’m a quartermaine. Self-interest is sort of in my dna. But, chase, on my word, nothing is more important to me than helping you. Ned: Olivia? And here’s one of those men right now. Cody. I’ve been looking for you. I need to speak to you about something. Oh. I can leave you two alone. Oh, no, no, no, no. You’re busy. I wouldn’t dream of interrupting your work. I was just thanking cody for being such a good friend to leo. Yes, leo seems to think cowboy cody has stepped straight out of a john ford western. I’ve lived a lot of places. Home’s wherever you hang your hat. Yeah, about that, since you’ll be interacting with my son, I took the liberty of going over your employment history, and it seems like you don’t really stay in any one place for very long. Should we already be looking for a replacement? Ned. No, hey. No worries, mama Q. I have been bouncing around for a while. That’s true. But your kind employment has got me doing exactly what I want to do, exactly where I want to do it. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. Okay. That’s enough, nurse baldwin. Clearly you are still under duress, so leave now while you still have a job. You can’t fire me. I’m union. I doubt your union rep will come running to your defense. And as chief of staff — co-chief. Terry, you gonna let her threaten me like this? Actually, biz, I’m gonna agree with britt. You’re out of line. Anna, if you’re curious about the deepening bond I have with my son, why ask me? Why not ask valentin? Well, I know what his intentions are when it comes to you. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Now I want to know yours. What do you want with him? What any parent wants — to see their child excel, to uplift and exalt the family, and most of all, to make me proud. Really? Huh. Okay. You seem confused. Well, the relationship you’re describing, it — it doesn’t sound reciprocal. In fact, it sounds as if you’re using valentin. And knowing what I do about what you’re capable of, it compels me to ask to what end? I’m sorry. I misspoke. I meant to say you are a great mayor, and port charles continues to thrive. All the machinations with elq — I’m just not sleeping. Well, just so you know, I don’t intend to go anywhere. I hear the all-stars gathered at charlie’s to celebrate you.
[ Cellphone rings ] You are much loved and very respected. Oh, I’m sorry. I have to take this. Yeah. Kevin. Hi. Thank you. That was kevin. He had a patient cancel, so he’s on his way over to join me. Well, I certainly won’t be a third wheel, so until kevin arrives, let’s make the most of our time.
[ Cellphone chimes ] Oh. What a coincidence. It’s charlotte. It’s everything alright? Oh, yes, yes, everything’s fine. She’s just thanking me for the care package I sent her. A care package? I wasn’t aware she needed anything. Well, it was hardly disaster relief. It was just the new book by her favorite author, and then a couple other fun little things that I thought she might enjoy. I’m sure she appreciates it. Well, her mother is still not able to be present for her, so I try to fill the void when I can. She’s lucky to have you. And you. And she’s not the only lady in your life who feels that way. Oh? Anna seems to have grown very fond of you. You want to know my plans for valentin? I’ll tell you, provided you tell me why the furtive calls to check up on him. Oh, I will never explain myself to you, victor. We can remain mysteries wrapped in riddles inside enigmas forever. You see, it’s obvious to me that neither you nor valentin really know each other as well as you claim to. Nor do you trust each other, which is a pity, because, anna, without trust, you’re nothing more to valentin than a comely diversion. For someone who takes issuewith my subjective opinions, you certainly print a lot of them and call them hard news. My paper takes stances on vital issues, alongside fact-based articles, like fact-based articles we did on city hall. Okay, so will the invader next be printing a triumphant interview with the exculpated mayor? I don’t see why not. We printed the petition against her. Yes, well, you’re still relatively new to journalism. It’s a subject I teach at the university level. I’m sure it’s easy for you to sit on your high horse behind ivy walls. But while you’re talking about journalism “theory,” some of us are actually out in the field doing actual reporting. I hoped that you would have seen that my intentions were sincere, and when you didn’T… you thought I was overreacting. I did. Until I talked to my dad. He helped me see that I probably should have run the whole plan by you, including the revenge plot. I also talked to my father. He and my brother urged me to give you the benefit of the doubt. They did? They saw that you were just trying to help me and… and what? They don’t seem to think that your proposition was as crazy as I do. Great. Then it’s settled. We will move forward with my plan. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pump the brakes, quartermaine. Elizabeth: I can’t believe you’re taking britt’s side. You know if I’m on anyone’s side, it’s yours. Then let me come back to work. No, you’re clearly not ready. I’m fine. I just can’t stand the way britt acts like she’s queen of this place. She’s co-chief of staff, not god. She is, and she asked you to go to hr, same as I would have. I was at that clinic voluntarily. Why do I need to go to hr? For liability purposes, personnel still need medical clearance. Did your doctor at shadybrook sign off? I signed myself out. Biz! Which is my right. It is your right, but was it right for you? I appreciate your concern, but caring for me doesn’t give you the right to question my decisions. I shouldn’t have to justify myself to anyone.
I have not agreedto your wacky pop star scheme. But you will. It’s inevitable. So why waste time? I’m not confident it’s gonna do either of the things you want — get me paid or get linc what he deserves. Maybe not, but we’ll never know if we don’t try. I am not the pop star you are envisioning, okay? I’m not saying we should put you in a spandex onesie and throw glitter all over you. I don’t think the pcpd will value a singing detective as much as you. And if, after your suspension, you want to go back to being a detective, I will totally support that. But while you’re in limbo, why not take the road not traveled? You know, maybe, just maybe, this setback will lead to a new passion. You know, a new passion can be a risky proposition. But the rewards could be greater than we ever dreamed of. I didn’t write the op-ed to insult you. In fact, I admire what you’ve done in such a short time. Well, thank you for that. I’m sure you understand that in the era where news is a click away, that I have to distinguish the paper. When you read what I wrote, you’ll see I don’t fault you for that. I merely offer constructive ideas to help maintain integrity in the reporting. Alright. Well, I will read the whole op-ed piece. I will put my wrath aside, and I will let you know if there’s a place for it. If you stand by your vision for the invader, you will not have a problem printing every last word. Well, I’m glad to hear you’re sticking around, cody. I know leo would hate to lose you. I’d hate to leave behind a brand-new friend, so he’s stuck with me. That’s good to hear. Well, we’ll let you get back to work. Alright. My god, ned, are you planning on alienating every single person in this house this week?
[ Scoffs ] Alright. Okay, I guess I could have been a little more tactful. You couldn’t have been less. I was just looking out for leo. I know that. I do. Looks like I’ve been inconsiderate and self-centered all around. Well, if that’s the road you want to go down, I am not gonna stop you. And because you deserve to hear this as often as possible, I should have looped you in on my decision-making process about my elq vote. Damn right you should have. It’s not like I’m asking for veto power over all your business decisions, but I do expect communication in the marriage and I’m just gonna pray for peace in this family. I let you down, and I know that. And I’m sorry. Now…I need to know. Are we okay? We are a team, ned. If we can stick with that, we’ll be fine. Is there, uh, something else bothering you? You picked up on that, huh? Anything I should know about? Oh, well, things may be fine here at home, but at work…
[ Sighs ] …My work, it’s all falling apart. Britt: Thanks for the backup. I know she’s your friend. My best friend. Great. Well, then maybe you can tell me what the hell is going on with your bff. You look good. Thanks. I feel good. I’m off the pills. They’re out of my system, so no more sleepwalking. That’s a great start. Start? Finn, I was at that clinic for weeks. I did the work, and now I’m better. I hope that’s true. It is. Believe me, if I felt like I was a danger to myself or my boys or my patients, I would still be at shadybrook. I know. I know how committed you are to…the people in your life. I think we’d just like to return the favor. I know. Then why didn’t you tell anyone you discharged yourself? Or am I the only one who didn’t know? You don’t know the first thing about me and valentin. We go back decades. And unlike you, his concerned father, I’ve actually been there for him. This isn’t a competition, anna. Well, if it were, you’d lose. The difference is, my dear, unlike you, I trust valentin. I rely on him to do what’s expected of him. I trust him, too. I just don’t trust everyone around him. That makes two of us. Valentin: Anna spoke to you about me? She did. Anything you can repeat?
[ Chuckles ] Just seems that she’s found a kindred spirit in you. Is that what she said? It’s not so much what she said, but how she said it or how she didn’t say it, as the case may be. But she does seem to have found the good in you. I told you it was there. Yes, you did. And you seem to get anna in a way that most people don’T. So, like I said, kindred spirits. I just hope that her faith in you isn’t misplaced. Oh! Oh, my goodness. What?
The invader welcomesall viewpoints, even yours. I’m sure after its proofread, it will be submitted into the next issue. Good to hear. Print and digital? Exactly how many platforms do you need, professor? It’s easier to read the commentary online. I like it when the readers are chiming in.
[ Chuckles ] So you’re pretty sure that the feedback will — will all be in your favor? I suspect that many will agree that, with tweaks,
the invader is on its way to becoming a great source of information. And I suspect that the readers will already attest to what we’ve been doing right. I look forward to reading their honest reactions, provided the feedback is uncensored. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
[ Cellphone rings ] I have to take this. Oh, by all means. Hello? Director gibson: Anna devane? Yes, this is she. This is director gibson. We received your credentials. I can confirm that valentin cassadine was in-patient here. Okay. Good. Alright. Thank you. That’s what I needed to know. However, his convalescence did not occur during the dates you provided. Oh?
According to our records, mr. Cassadine discharged himself after a week. The end date you provided — exceeds that by a lot.
Exactly. I’m sure you can’t divulge the nature of this investigation, and that’s fine. My priority is that the clinic not be held liable for any health implications caused by his early departure. Oh, no, no, no. That won’t be an issue, no. Great. Is there anything else I can help you with? No. Thank you. You’ve helped me more than you know. I appreciate it. Problem? I am so sorry. Please send me your dry cleaning bill. I will. What happened here? I’m afraid you arrived to witness a rather inelegant lunge for the pepper. That’s what I witnessed? Well, as I was telling your lovely wife — please, another iced tea — I haven’t been sleeping very well. It’s made me clumsy. Well, I’ve never known you to be clumsy before. It happens. I apologize, dr. Collins, laura. I’m so very sorry. Just when things were going so well. What’s this all about? I wish I knew. I’m as confused as you are. He — he asked to join me, and we had a surprisingly civil conversation.
[ Chuckles ] He’s about as social as he is clumsy. And today he was both. And why don’t I believe any of it? Because you’re keenly perceptive and smart. Well, thank you. Hello. Hello. Well, everything okay with you? No, today could have gone better. Really? It’s not even lunchtime yet. What happened? Is it elizabeth? She left shadybrook. She left? Mm-hmm. Was she your patient cancellation? Yeah. Should I be worried? I wish I could say no. I’m so sorry. Elizabeth isn’t like that. Elizabeth has been downright hostile to me since we met. I know you never liked each other. I was terrible to her, to everybody. I earned all of my lovely nicknames. But now, today, this? She’s been going through a lot these last few months. Oh, I understand, and her time away doesn’t seem to have helped at all. Elizabeth seems to be the same… oh, again, best friend, right here. …Challenging personality she always was.
[ Sighs ] And whatever she has going on, she can’t bring it to work like that. Agreed. I just hope she’s okay. Oh, she’s in fine form. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. No, it’s okay. You know, I guess I’m just trying to figure out why you left me out of the loop.
[ Sighs ] And, hey, you know, I know I had A… a little bit of trouble giving you the space you need to heal, and for that, I’m — I’m sorry. You know, but I think I’ve gotten better with that lately. Yes, you have.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Sighs ] So… is this the — is this the way you want things going forward? You — you don’t need me around? No. No, finn. I… I asked for distance while I was at shadybrook because I have a lot to work through. And I know you wanted to be there for me and you wanted to help me, and you did by allowing me…space to take this journey and figure things out on my own. How did that go? I learned a lot.
[ Chuckles ] But the most important thing I realized is… …my life is just better with you in it.
[ Clears throat ] So, um, so for what it’s worth, I — I think you have the “it factor,” and I know linc agrees. Oh, two people. It’s quite the niche fan base. Try two times 1,000. Give me your phone. Go ahead. Okay. Thank you. Check this out. Yeah. With the? Yeah, see? So whether or not you want to be a recognized performer, you are well on your way, my friend.
Another reason why I should have shared my plans with you. If I had known that carly had invested so heavily in aurora… I didn’t even know until the morning of the vote. Anyway, it’s not gonna be a problem. I might end up owning my hotel with some oligarch who just bought in to launder his money. It is a problem, ned. Not if we buy carly’s half of the hotel and give it to her. I already floated that idea. It’s not gonna happen. Carly said no. No dice. Not even if we sell it to her for the same price she purchased it? The history between carly and the quartermaines is too much. Just forget about it. Okay. But look, it’s gonna be okay, alright? The best partnerships cannot be torn apart, and we are proof of that.
[ Chuckles ] I know I kept you at arm’s length, but it was never meant to hurt you. I know. I can be thick sometimes, and… I wanted to help. It took me time to realize that what you needed was distance, and that — that’s on me. Well, what if I told you what I really need… is you. Well, if you told me something like that, I’d probably tell you that I — I was the luckiest guy on the face of the earth.
[ Chuckles ] Wait, but are you sure? Because everything that was wrong with me before, it’s — it’s still there. That list is long. I mean, I’m working on myself, but I got a long way to go. You sure you want all that? All of it. I’m sorry for everything that I put you through. I promise it’s all behind us.
[ Grunts ]
[ Cellphone chimes ] Apparently there really is a lid for every pot, even the cracked ones. Yeah, well, if that’s true, maybe there’s hope for you yet.
[ Scoffs ]
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Sighs ] Okay, society setups, let’s see what unpromising loser you insist is my perfect match.
[ Sighs ] First you malign my leadership at the paper, and now you’re questioning my integrity? I’m merely pointing out how tempting it is to confirm our own biases. I’m convinced that the readers at the invader will reject your narrow suppositions. Okay, then. Care to make it interesting?
[ Chuckles ] What, like a bet? Unless you’re not as confident as you pretend to be.
[ Chuckles ] Oh, now the strategy is to call me a chicken? I didn’t know they had playgrounds at universities, because that’s clearly where you picked up your tactics. Are my tactics working? No. But I will take your idiotic wager. I’m in. Great. What are the stakes? Besides a massive hit to your ego?
[ Chuckles ] Okay. If the readers support you, then I will entertain your archaic notions. Is that all? You have my time and my attention. Take it or leave it. Done. And on the off chance that the readers side with you? You will promise to pipe down and stick to enlightening young minds. It’s a bet.
I know we’re gonna make it chase: Wow. I-I can’t believe this. Well, credit leo. He was the first one who liked the performance, and then it just sort of blew up from there. How does it have so many views? Well, I have an intern at deception watching it on repeat. Oh, you do? No, it’s —
[ Chuckles ] These numbers are all you.
[ Chuckles ] Face it, chase, there’s an audience who wants you. All we have to do is cultivate it and then monetize it, of course. Where would we start? Is that a yes? It’s not a no. It’s A…how. Don’t stress the details, okay? Just trust that by the time I’m finished, these numbers will look quaint in comparison. Here. Just leave it to me, rock star. I’m gonna make you a household name. Laura: Anna? Oh, hi. Did you forget something? No. Hi, kevin. Uh… I actually was — I was just looking for valentin. I thought maybe he was in his room, but he’s not, so I thought I’d try here. Well, your instincts are good, but you just missed him. I don’t know where he went. Oh, no matter. Um, I was gonna ask him something, but now that I’m here, I-I’ve kind of changed my mind. Is everything okay? I’m not sure. Um… but I intend to find out. Is it done? No. Laura remains in perfect health. And why, pray tell, is that? Because I failed. Well, that’s a pity, dear boy. I’m sure by now you’re aware failure is not an option.
On the next “General Hospital” —
Back to the GH Transcripts Page
Back to the Main Daytime Transcripts Page
