Days of Our Lives Transcript
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THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
[keyboard clacking]
“Gabriella Hernandez DiMera “went full savage mode “as she exposed DA DiMera’s lies at the press conference from hell.” Good, Lady W. You’ve got their interest. Now you have to hold it. [jazz music] “The diva-est of divas came, “she played, and she slayed. Although it may not have been in that order.” Keep going, you genius. You are rocking this. “She took not a single prisoner. “And let me tell you, dear reader, Lady Whistleblower is here for it.” [sighs]
You gonna drink that, mate?
[sighs] Heaven help me.
So you really think that Xander might show up at his own wedding without a shirt?
[laughs] That show-off? The real surprise would be if he shows up at the wedding in a boring old tux.
Still, my money is on option B.
Well, maybe we’ll be pleasantly surprised. Or one of us will be. Uh, you know, honey, I wouldn’t hate it if you were to follow in Xander’s fashion footsteps. Hubba-hubba-hubby.
[laughs] Any other unusual predictions for the Cook-Horton nuptials? Or Alex and Theresa’s, for that matter?
Uh, no, no, no, no, no. You’ll just make fun of me again.
Maybe. Maybe not.
[chuckles] Well, actually, I am very shocked that Theresa agreed to sign the prenup.
Well, let’s just see if she actually follows through. I know the papers were dropped off today. It’ll certainly put my mind at ease once she signs them.
Or maybe you’re hoping she’ll refuse, and the whole thing will go kablooey.
I didn’t say that.
Mm-hmm. Honey, I know you think the woman’s digging for gold. And you know, even if she does sign the prenup, it doesn’t mean anything. She still could be marrying Alex for his money, honey. [bright acoustic music]
What are you looking at?
Wouldn’t you like to know?
[laughs] You do know I’m not above taking drastic measures to get what I want.
Oh, really?
Really.
You’re really gonna go there?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, OK.
Mm. Now let’s take a look.
Oh, that is not fair!
All is fair in love and whatever this is.
Well, it just so happens that it is actually about love. I was scouting ideas for our honeymoon.
Oh, now I’m very interested. Mm. You want to rent a superyacht?
You know, when you actually think about how many times you would use a yacht for company events, it sort of just makes sense to buy one.
Oh. Mm.
Actually, forget I just said that. Don’t need to give Brady and Justin another reason to think that I’m a gold digger.
OK, Theresa, please do not let them get to you, OK? All that matters, hey, is what I think, my love. That’s all.
But you did make me sign a prenup. [laughs]
But what better way to silence all the doubters, right? Not right?
It’s just a little insulting.
Oh. Theresa, are you having second thoughts about signing? [soft dramatic music]
[sighs] [phone rings]
Kayla, hi. Uh– yeah, thanks for getting back to me. Yeah, I talked to Mayor Price about, uh, exhuming the body. Yesterday, yeah. Um, look, she said she was gonna expedite the request, and now I haven’t heard anything. So I don’t know, are there– must be some kind of snag–
What the hell, Chad? Have you completely lost your mind? [tense music]
[soft orchestration] announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”
Kayla, I think I found the snag. I have to call you back. Jack, listen.
Don’t you play dumb. I got a call from a friend of the city who alerted me of a request to exhume my daughter’s body.
OK, listen. You’re upset, and–
I thought it was some kind of an accident, a mistake. But then they said the request came from you.
It did. [soft dramatic music]
Why? Why would you want to desecrate Abigail’s grave?
[gulping] Ah. Thanks for that, mate. Really hit the spot.
For me, too.
What?
Huh? No, never mind. I just meant that, uh, if your spot is hit, then so is mine because you’re my boss, and I aim to please. And I’m also a bit of a suck-up.
There’s no need for that, Stark. Not when you’re as– as valued an employee as you are. Speaking of, how’s your column coming for tomorrow?
Almost finished, you’ll be happy to know.
Great. Why don’t you join me in the pub for a pint? If we talk about work, I can expense the whole thing.
That is a very tempting offer. But what the hell is wrong with me? I can’t believe I’m going to say this. Regret, thy name is Leo. No. Probably not a good idea.
Suit yourself. [jazz music]
Bonnie, if Theresa signs that prenup, she won’t be getting one penny if she and Alex divorce.
True. But maybe she won’t want a divorce. I mean, she is marrying the Kiriakis abs– heir. [clears throat] And maybe her plan is to stay married and live in the lap of luxury, eat bonbons, and sip champagne.
Oh. So you still think that Theresa doesn’t actually love Alex?
Well, hard to say. I mean, one minute, she’s hopping into bed with Brady, and the next, she’s back with Alex. I mean, personally, I think Theresa is a hoot. But some would say she’s, uh– um, ooh– fickle. Fickle would be a nice way to put it.
Mm-hmm. She’s definitely fickle. I just hope, prenup notwithstanding, that Alex doesn’t get his heart broken.
You can’t stop worrying about him, can you?
It’s not in my DNA, I guess. [phone beeps]
Oh, God. It looks like being late all the time is in mine. I got to get going. I’m supposed to be meeting Sarah to help plan the wedding. Listen, honey. Try not to worry about Alex, OK? I mean, who knows? Maybe we’re wrong about Theresa. Maybe she is desperately in love with Alex, and marrying him for all the right reasons. I mean, you and I do know that is possible, right? [chuckles] I love you, pumpkin. [bright acoustic music]
Did I miss something? I thought you were OK with signing.
A messenger just delivered this for you, Alex.
Oh, yeah. We were expecting that. That’s our prenup.
Oh. I didn’t realize.
Well, look, I know a lot of people have the wrong idea about this thing, but just so everybody knows, it has nothing to do with me not trusting Theresa at all. It’s just that Justin made a huge deal about it.
I am signing that because I am marrying Alex for love, not money, despite other people doubting that. So if signing that is gonna prove them wrong, then prove them wrong, I will.
Mm. So you’re still on board?
Yeah. Yeah, of course I am. Just, you know, I wish you would have maybe discussed it with me first. But no, I’m absolutely A-OK with signing. [tense music]
I hope I’m not too late.
Wow. So many.
Oh, yeah, well–
And your timing is perfect. Victoria took forever to go down.
Ooh!
Oh, wow.
I basically raided the entire newsstand.
Gosh, you sure did. This’ll be fun.
Uh-huh.
This will be fun, right?
Oh, more than a barrel full of bridesmaids, girl. [giggles]
Is there a section for women who have been married multiple times? Because I feel like wearing white is kind of a stretch.
Oh, please. Who cares? Honey, what I– what I mean is, you are going to be the star, which means you should enjoy everything that comes with that. Including wearing white. Or green, or purple, or drunk tank pink, if you feel like it. Mm-hmm. [gasps] What about rhinestones? How about I keep looking? [laughter] OK. You know, Sarah, um, as much as I would hate to have you share your day with anybody, um, have you given any more thought to a double wedding with Alex and Theresa?
Not really.
Well, I only ask because they are full steam ahead, and I hear that Theresa is signing the prenup tonight. Just saying. Mm-hmm. [soft dramatic music] [clicking pen]
Um, is there an English translation for this?
Yeah. Legalese is the worst.
Well, here’s something I understand. If I’m reading it correctly, uh, if I commit fraud or adultery, I get nothing? Is that something you’re concerned about?
No, no. Not at all. Uh, the lawyers told me this was all boilerplate, very standard prenup stuff.
OK, well, good to know that the patriarchy is alive and well.
Mm.
What if you commit adultery or fraud? What happens then? What do I get? Because according to this, I get nothing.
Well, to tell you the truth, I’ve seen how you’ve been eyeing that vase over there. You like it?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that’ll get me through all the dark days. Assuming there are any.
You will never– hey, hey, hey. You will never have to worry about me cheating on you, ever. And I expect that I wouldn’t have to worry about that either.
Hmm. Wow. What was that? Did we just say our vows?
Did we? Maybe a little bit.
Hmm.
Do I still get a kiss?
Yeah.
Mm.
You’re right. I’m gonna sign it. There’s nothing to worry about. Where? All right. Right there. [laughs]
[somber music]
Hey, cuz. Join me for a beer? I’m buying.
[chuckles] Uh, let’s go Dutch. You need to watch your pennies these days.
[chuckles] Cute. You, uh, heard about Maggie and me, then?
Yeah. That you gave her back the check. I am the executor of Victor’s estate, so of course I knew. And I was surprised. I mean, Xander, Maggie wanted you to have that money.
Yeah, but Victor didn’t, did he? He wanted it all to go to his wife and bastard son.
Careful there.
Sorry. I curse the actions of the father, not the son. Even if the son has been a real jerk to you since he found out you’re not his dad.
[sighs] Look, his entire life turned out to be a lie. I certainly can’t blame him for acting out.
Right, but you were deceived too, and you didn’t change. Look, I– as much as I was hurt by Uncle Vic’s will, I think the person that was hurt the most by it was you. [bright music]
I’m just relieved that my friend was willing to hold the process till I had a chance to confront you.
Listen to me. I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out like this. Does– does, uh– does Jennifer know?
No! No. I wasn’t going to upset her till I had answers. So explain. Why do you want to dig up my daughter’s body?
Because according to Clyde Weston, Abigail is still alive. [dramatic music]
And sent. I wonder if a gossip column has ever won a Pulitzer.
Hi. Uh, excuse me–
Yes, I am going to drink that. Every precious drop.
Huh?
Look, sharing is caring, but it is wearing me out. So I am declaring this a no-sharing zone. Now ask me if I care.
Sorry. Uh, I just came over to ask if you’re Lady Whistleblower.
Who wants to know? Are you looking for a retraction?
[laughs] What? No. No, uh, I’m a big fan. That’s what I came over here to say. I’m a huge fan. [soft dramatic music]
Really?
You have no idea. I’m Kerry. Anyway, uh, you’re so clever and funny. I just laugh and laugh.
Here. Take my glass of water. I’m Lady– I’m Leo.
[chuckles] Funny and easy on the eyes. How do you do it? Guess that’s what got me over here in the first place. I’d love to know your secrets.
You want me to reveal my secrets in Salem’s most public place? Lady Whistleblower is many things, but above all, she is discreet. So discreet I can’t even say that with a straight face.
OK, then. Maybe you want to open up somewhere more private? You live nearby?
I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward. I mean, I know most brides would run for the hills if someone suggested doubling up on their big day, but–
I mean, were you not listening when I said this was not my first time down the aisle? It’s my second time with Xander. So I’m not super worried about sharing the spotlight.
Hmm. Two times with Xander, huh? Kind of goes with that double wedding theme too, hmm?
[laughs] Ha.
[chuckles]
The truth is, it’s just– it’s a really hard sell. Xander and Theresa have clashed in the past, and Xander and Alex have, too.
See, but that’s just like I suggested. Even more reason to have a double wedding. All the Kiriakis family under one roof, celebrating him and Alex together. Just think about it, hon. This could be a new beginning for the whole family.
Oh, wow. Don’t these look amazing? May I?
Yes. That’s why I’m here.
Don’t mind if I do. Thank you, Maggie.
Go ahead. Sure.
Oh, my God.
Mm-hmm.
OK. Well–
[laughs]
Mm-hmm.
Now that the prenup is signed, why don’t we talk about some more pleasant business? Like, um, setting a wedding date.
Mm. So good, by the way. But yeah, maybe we should talk to Xander and Sarah just to make sure we don’t pick the exact same day.
Are we talking about a “Bride Wars” sequel here?
Mm.
I mean, Victor, he loved Anne Hathaway.
Mm-hmm.
Oh. Yeah, Bonnie thinks that we should have a double wedding with Xander and Sarah.
That’s news to me.
I don’t know how to feel about it. I think it’d be kind of weird.
Well, actually, I had a double wedding once.
Another double wedding? Wow. Was that awkward?
[laughs] No. No, it was– it was just lovely. Double the love to go around, and whatever could be wrong with that?
Aw. Well, everything has to line up, though, right? You know, like personal style and guests and that sort of thing.
Yeah. It was Valentine’s Day. Um, and Mickey and I, we were here, and– and Melissa and her groom Pete were– they were there. And their marriage didn’t last, but it was, uh, one of my fondest memories.
Mm. I guess the only difference here is that you and your daughter actually got along, whereas Xander and I can barely be civil with each other.
[chuckles]
Well, it doesn’t have to stay that way. I mean, it could be a bonding experience. A way to keep this family together. [tender music]
I just can’t imagine what it was like reading that letter from Alex’s mum. Finding out he’s not your son, just blowing up your whole family.
It wasn’t even the first time that I’d had to deal with Alexander’s paternity. When he was born, Angelica told me that he wasn’t mine, so I had a blood test run. Dr. Tom Horton told me that there is no doubt that Alex is my son.
Hmm. I guess those old-style blood tests aren’t as reliable as DNA tests are now.
Yeah, I’m not a scientist, but I’m guessing the tests came back positive because Alex and I are still related by blood, even though we’re not father and son.
Cousins count, I guess.
Still, it’s so hard for me to believe that Victor conceived a child with Angelica, and kept that secret from me all these years.
Wait. Are you saying you don’t believe it’s true? Do you think Alex really is your son? [bright acoustic music]
Clyde Weston said– [tense music] No. That’s not possible.
Jack, I thought– I thought the same thing at first, OK? And that’s why I didn’t say anything to you or Jennifer, all right? I didn’t want to get your hopes up.
But Julie knows! Julie. Last time I was here, I walked in on the two of you saying something about keeping something from Jennifer and me, and then you came up with a flimsy excuse about the time capsule.
Julie knows because she’s trying to help me find out if what Clyde said was true. Jack, I need to know, OK? I need to know. I know that digging up Abigail’s body is extreme, but it is the only way that we are gonna find any answers.
Well, you can forget about that. It’s not gonna happen. I won’t allow it.
I’ll fight you on this in court. Anything to stop Clyde Weston from desecrating my daughter’s memory more than he already has.
Jack–
I don’t care what Clyde said! The man is a murderer, a liar, a drug dealer, God knows what else. He stabbed my daughter to death, and now he’s trying to get free by tricking you into believing that she’s alive. Damn it, Chad, you are smarter than this.
I don’t trust anything that Clyde says! It’s more than just his word, Jack. He gave me evidence that supports his claim.
What kind of evidence?
I’ll show you. [tense music]
Yeah, I don’t think Xander and I are ever gonna get along, Maggie.
Well, there’s no harm in making an effort. I mean, as Victor’s heir, you are head of this family now.
Yeah. I told you the patriarchy is still humming along.
Mm.
And I believe that your father would want you to make amends, become a united front. And this could be your chance to do that. [soft dramatic music]
What do you think?
[sighs] What do I think? Well, you know I despise Xander.
Mm.
But Xander also despises me. So I don’t know. Maybe we cancel each other out.
Meaning?
Meaning… I want to get married as soon as possible. And if that means hitching our wagon onto Xander and Sarah’s big day, then I don’t know, maybe it’s not such a bad idea. What do you think?
[sighs]
Have you told Alex that you think he’s still–
Don’t misunderstand me. This is wishful thinking on my part.
Despite that letter from Angelica, way back when?
Uncle Victor wouldn’t have left half his estate to Alex if he wasn’t absolutely sure that Alex was his son. It’s still just so damn disappointing that he would lie to me all these years, even if he was trying to protect my feelings.
Well, Uncle Vic always was an ends justify the means type of guy, so that tracks.
But what doesn’t track is why Uncle Vic tried to claim Alex as his son when he was first born. Why would he do that if he wanted to keep it a secret?
[exhales] Victor Kiriakis, master of misdirection? [bright music]
I have so many damn questions. But since Angelica and Victor are both dead, I guess I will never get them answered.
I think you could be right, Bonnie. It would be really nice for Xander to reconnect with the rest of his family.
I– I can’t believe you’d actually go for it. Oh, my gosh. Will– will you talk to Xander?
I mean, well, I can’t promise anything. But yeah, it’s worth a shot.
Oh, that’s wonderful.
OK. What do– what do you think about this one?
Oh. Uh, Kim Kardashian meets Liza Minnelli.
Oh, wow. I– I guess that’s a no.
Oh, no. I meant that in a positive way. That’s hot. You’d look so pretty in that.
By the way–
What?
I got your RSVP, from you and Justin. Thank you for being so prompt.
Oh, my pleasure. Nothing worse than having to wait for somebody to respond, you know what I mean? Oh! Oh, damn. Who put that there? Oh, jeez. All right, who put this in the trash? Oh, Sarah, you let Theresa get in your head about inviting Mama Cook, didn’t you? WWCD? What would Charlemagne do? Hmm. Yep. Uh-huh, uh-huh. [gasps] A-ha. Nothing like a little push to help family do the right thing. Yessiree. Sarah’s gonna be very grateful. And I’m gonna put this in the mailbox myself. Sarah, um, have you received any surprising RSVPs?
No, not really. Just what we expected.
Well, um, Sarah, there’s– there’s, um, something I should probably warn you about. [tense music]
Welcome to my humble abode.
I still can’t believe you live in a hotel. You’re like Dylan from “.”
[laughs] I always saw myself as more of a Brenda. I like that she didn’t take crap from anyone. And she inspired me to experiment with bangs, which was a huge mistake.
Mm.
Mm-mm.
No, I can see it. Dylan would have been putty in your hands.
Well, that was the dream that got me through many a night.
[chuckles] Well, that’s one secret down. How many more to go? Here for all of them.
Well, if that’s the goal, it’s going to be a long night. We’d better get you some sustenance.
All right. What to get? What to get? Appetizers. Here we go. They have oysters?
I don’t know.
On the other hand, they might just slow us down. I’m ready to skip to the main course. [soft dramatic music]
So what do you want to warn me about?
Uh, warn is probably too strong a word. It’s actually– it’s about the invitations. And you know how when we were–
Bonnie, hello.
Hey. You’re wearing a shirt. Awesome.
What are you two up to?
Oh, wait. Avert your eyes. We’re looking at wedding dresses.
Any luck?
Oh, I found a barn buster. Rhinestones everywhere! So hot.
You heard her. We found nothing. Not one thing.
Well, I hate to interrupt, so I’ll just–
Oh, no. You know, actually, I should be going.
So soon?
Well, you know how time flies. [laughs]
Oh. Well, I’m sad to see you go. But wait! You were gonna tell me something before Xander walked in.
Yes, but you know, um, it’s– it’s not really important. Instead, you should talk to Xander about what we discussed before, OK? And I’ll just see you guys later. Happy couple! Couple, couple, couple.
What was it Bonnie wanted you to talk to me about?
[inhales sharply] She thinks we should have a double wedding with Alex and Theresa.
Those two wankers? Why the hell would we do that? [jazz music]
Um…
So are you all actually considering this?
[sighs] Babe, I would hate for you to give up your dream wedding just to score a more convenient date.
You know I haven’t really had my heart set on, like, a big lavish wedding. I’m totally fine with something simple and lowkey, despite what my detractors might say.
Mm.
Oh, look, there’s one of them now. [clears throat]
I take it you’re still peeved about my prenup idea? Of course, if you’re really against it–
Actually, she already signed it. See for yourself.
Oh. Looks good. With this much money on the line, it’s never a bad idea to have protections in place.
Mm.
Well, not that it matters, but I plan to spend the rest of my life as Mrs. Alex Kiriakis.
Mm.
I bet. [soft dramatic music]
I must have watched the video a thousand times.
Sometimes I’m convinced that– that it’s her. That that’s Abby, and she’s somewhere, and she’s alone and scared, and she needs me.
And then other times I watch it, and I think I’m wrong, and I’m an idiot.
Jack, is it her?
[inhales sharply] Honestly, I– I don’t know. [sighs] I– I guess my question is this. Why is that the proof that he gave you? He wants you to believe him. So why give you grainy footage where you can’t see the woman’s face?
I had the same question. I went to go see him to ask him, but he had already been sent to supermax, so I–
[sighs] [phone beeps] Is there no other way? Really, is there no other way to get answers? What? What?
It’s Paulina. The crew is ready to go. So it’s gonna be too late to file an injunction. I’m sorry.
Look, if you’re not on board with this, I won’t do it. I know it’s a lot to ask. I need to do it, Jack. Please.
That is the second-best chest I’ve seen in the last hour.
Second-best?
Oh, don’t take it personally. The first one is headed to the Smithsonian when he’s done with it.
Hmm. Let’s see where you finish in this competition.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. First there’s one thing I need to know.
Anything.
Are you really a fan? Of the column, I mean?
Never miss it.
[exhales] That means– that means you are my first groupie.
[chuckles]
And this is happening, isn’t it?
Mm. When I’m attracted to someone, I don’t like to waste time. I’m betting you feel the same way. [sensual music]
Wow. So Bonnie’s weirdly into this whole double wedding thing. It sounds like you are too.
Well, it’s just– she made a few good points. But if you don’t want to do this, I totally understand.
I mean, it’s just–
What? Uh-oh.
Look, I’m not saying there’s an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records for me, but this would be my second double wedding. And the first one…
With Gwen.
Ended in disaster.
So you’re saying no?
Well, I mean, it was disastrous because I was marrying the wrong person, obviously. And that’s hardly the case this time.
Yes. Well, what a relief.
So I suppose I could stand having Alex on one side of me while I pledge my eternal love. As long as you’re on the other side, a vision as my bride-to-be.
Well, that is the plan. And I will keep you posted about the vision, and whether or not rhinestones will be making a supporting appearance.
Please do.
So should I call Bonnie and tell her we’re in? [soft dramatic music]
So Sarah is gonna talk to Xander about a double wedding. What do you two guys think?
Mm. It’s fine by me.
Yeah, me too. Um, if uh, Sarah and Xander are willing to let us horn in on their big day. [chuckles] [phone ringing]
Ooh. Mm. Hey, Sarah. Did you talk to Xander?
Yes. If Alex and Theresa are game, then we’re in.
Looks like Operation Double Wedding is a go!
[crickets chirping]
Thanks, Jack. Look, I know this wasn’t an easy decision. [somber music]
[sighs] I can’t believe we’re doing this. This is ghastly.
Coffin’s ready to be opened. [tense music]
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