Days of Our Lives Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
Please. Ava. Good morning, Hicks. Oh. Don’t you just love waking up to the smell of freshly mopped linoleum floors? I am, uh, I am getting used to it. They only have decaf here? Yeah. You seem like you’re in good spirits. Your visit with, with your son went well? Yeah. Yeah, it was, it was incredible. I think that same trip was just what the doctor ordered.
You trying to drown out the noise from Caligula’s Garden of Delights in there? Yeah, if only it was working. You know, I wish there was a front desk so I could channel my inner Karen and complain. Yes, I’d like to speak to the manager. Oh, if you’re the manager, then I’d like to speak to the manager’s manager.
Hey, Karen, make sure you let them know how little sleep you got. Is it that obvious? Well, I just assumed, because I sure didn’t get any sleep. I mean, who can really sleep with all that going on in there? Well. All that is going on between my brother and Melinda Trask. Oh, so he decided to give her another chance.
He sure did. Well, you get a 10 for stamina, right? Definitely. Hey, you don’t think they started like one of those webcam side hustles, right? Uh, absolutely not. It’s bad enough I have to listen to it. I do not need those images in my head, thank you very much. I don’t know, I have to say, when I see those images in my head, I get a little envious.
I shouldn’t have admitted that, right? Actually, it’s kind of cool that you admitted that. And truth be told, I feel the same way. Cut to NPS.
Wow,
that was incredible. Are you watching this on your morning cardio? That’s very thoughtful of you. My phone keeps going off. Let me see what… Oh my god. What? What is it? Victor Kiriakis, he died in a plane crash. That’s… Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Oh my God. It’s really sad.
I gotta tell you, I’m a little taken aback by your reaction. I mean, there’s really no love lost, right, between you and Salem’s answer to Aristotle Onassis? It wasn’t, but, I mean, this is Sonny’s uncle. I mean, he always made sure to make Ariana feel part of the family. Right. Well, Salem’s not gonna be the same without that old larger than life coot scheming and manipulating every upstanding citizen this side well, both sides of the Mississippi.
Yeah. Hey, um, wait, if we Hey, listen, talking about schemers, we need to talk about your sister. Which one? You know which one, Steph and Kristen. She’s up to something, and we need to get to the bottom of it.
I tried my damnedest to send you to your grave. And at long last, you finally made it there. Without my help.
You stole my child. And now, thanks to you, I may never see her again. Oh, don’t be so dramatic. We’ll find your daughter.
Emmett, woman, put that knife down. We both know that you’re not gonna But
I wouldn’t give to watch the hounds of hell tear you limb from limb. Ah, rest in misery, you son of a bitch. I’ll
get it, Harold!
Can I help you? I certainly hope so. I’m looking for Dimitri von Leuschner. Um, concerning what? Concerning a rather urgent business matter.
Ah.
Well. Looks like someone’s tummy has recovered. Yes, thanks to a good night’s rest and the loving attention of my beautiful wife slash travel companion.
Well, now that you are the perfect picture of health, shall we go check out those lava fields? Yes, yes, that sounds great. Although you should know that I would be happy… Doing anything, as long as it’s spending time with you. Whether it’s at an Icelandic lava field, or… The parking lot of a strip mall. Oh, you…
God, you just really know how to melt my heart, don’t you? Okay, my sweaty little Romeo. Why don’t you go have a shower so we can make a move? Yeah. You know, I think that we just melted whatever ice was left in Iceland. Oh no, now they’ll just have to call it land from now on. They could call it water land, you could be my Kevin Costner.
Oh, this is perfect. Here we are. Together.
On your honeymoon. With my best friend.
You know what? I just had an idea. Should we invite Leo? Like sand
through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
Okay, when isn’t my sister up to something? No, I know, but this time it’s, it’s different. I heard her talking to Rachel yesterday. They have some shared secrets, something about touching money. You mean like… Monopoly money or money money? Money money, honey. That’s why my ears perked up. Okay, so what else did your perked up little ears hear?
Any specifics? Okay, well, I wouldn’t say specifics exactly, but it has something to do with your nephew, Dimitri. Of course it does. Dimitri? Well, that is my darling nephew. Please, come on in. Is the man of the hour here? I have this residence listed as Mr. von Leuchner’s home of record. Well, it is, but he is away right now.
On his honeymoon, actually, with the love of his life, who has a charming English accent, just like yours. Too bad he’s not around. I suppose I should have, uh, done journeying all the way from Alamania. Did you just say alumania? So, is it safe to assume that this has something to do with the cortisol of the Von Leuschner Trust?
Yes, it does actually. Uh, sorry, may I ask, Miss… Oh, DiMera. Kristen DiMera. And you are? Elliot Roth. I’m a barrister, uh, representing Sedd von Leuchner Trust. Barrister, huh? So did you pack that funny little wig in your carry on? It’s at the dry cleaners. But I’m curious, Mr. Mirror. You mentioned the Codacil. How did you become privy to its existence?
Well, my nephew and I are very close. We practically share everything. Oh, well then I can share with you that I flew to the States to personally present Mr. von Neuschne with the first installment of his funds. Oh, well, looks like Santa arrived earlier this year, and not by sleigh. Well, you can leave that with me, Mr.
Wolf. Not so fast, Auntie Dearest.
Really? You want Leo to come to the lava fields with us? Well, he’s your best friend, right? And he just seems so lonely, traveling all by himself. I just thought maybe, I don’t know, it’d be nice to, uh, make him feel included.
My, my, my, my Dimitri von Leuschner, you… Oh, such a wonderful man. My God, I mean, my annoying, garrulous, pesky, gay best friend crashes our honeymoon, and instead of you being infuriated, which, believe me, most blokes would be, you invite him to join us. Whatever did I do to deserve you? Well, I know how much he means to you.
And honestly, the thought of him all alone… In his hotel room, watching the Icelandic version of Mamma Mia without subtitles. Yes, or trying to seduce some blue eyed twink named Gunnar. Hang on. Was it the Madonna concert last night? Doesn’t that mean that he would be flying to Salem now as we speak?
Did you order room service?
Quinny, thank God you’re here. I was worried you would be at the lava fields or whale watching or at the blue lagoon. God, Matty, what’s wrong, babe? Quinny, I feel awful, just awful. What? But why? Talk to me. Listen, there’s something I have to tell you. You
know, something that would make me a little less envious. As if tamped down my envy. That’s the idea? And Wendy,
I
wanted to apologize again for, you know, interrupting at the Salem Inn. That wasn’t your fault. You got that important call from Bayview about your mom. You never told me how that went. It was, it was really encouraging. Okay. She’s… She’s improved so much. That’s, Tripp, that’s amazing. Yeah, yeah it was. You know, she and I were talking and I was looking at her and there’s lights in her eyes, they’re back on, you know.
Like, there’s none of that craziness, no more paranoia. It’s just, actually like I had my mom back. I am so happy for her.
And for you.
So you, you know that I was concerned that seeing Tripp might, might cause intrusive thoughts or hallucinations. It didn’t. Not a one. That’s great. It sounds like the uh, the meds the doctor puts you on are working. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, I can feel it. You know, I can, I can feel it in my psyche. I can, I can feel it in my soul.
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I’m healing.
And just in time to face the consequences of what I’ve done. I don’t know if you want to worry about that right now. I mean, you’re, you’re getting better. Focus on that. You know, focus on our healing journey, right? Is that what they say? Yes, but part of my healing journey is being accountable for what I’ve done.
And a, uh, a very sweet, innocent woman is dead. Because of what I’ve done. I’ve gone it. You know, I have to own that if I hadn’t let my rage for E. J. DiMera get the better of me, that his mother would still be alive. Mimosa? Uh, no thank you. I, I don’t drink on the job. Oh, I’m sure Don Draper would like to have a word with you.
Um, Mad Men? Okay, you know what, never mind. Anyway, uh, I hope that you can forgive my insolence earlier. As I mentioned, my nephew and I are very close and… So, I took umbrage at the notion that, uh, he would be anything other than grateful to you if you gave that cheque to his favorite antichrist. I’m sure your nephew would be fine with it, but there’s a protocol.
I have to make sure the conditions of the codicil are carried out to the letter before I can disperse. Disperse the first installment of the funds to Mr. Von Leuschner. Yes, yes, of course. Um, and I also understand that the codicil stated that Dimitri was to be a married man before his 40th birthday.
That’s correct. Well, I’m happy to inform you, Mr. Roth, that your job here is done. See, I can personally attest that Dimitri has met all the conditions of his paternal family’s trust. See, I was at the wedding. I am an eyewitness. Well, I can’t just take your word for it, Mr. Bearer. You’d be surprised how many people are willing to commit fraud to get their hands on even a fraction of this kind of money.
That is so true. What a corrupt world we live in. You know, it wouldn’t surprise me if my greedy sister Kristen and duplicitous DiMera coffers. Babe, we are going to get to the bottom of this. Ow. And what exactly did you learn from your little chat with Rachel that you both share a fondness for Spongebob Squarepants?
Look, I got nothing. Nada. She’s her mother’s daughter. She keeps her cards close to the vest. No, no, no, no, no. Mi amor, you’re using the wrong metaphor. See, we de Meres were a family of chess champions, okay? Not common poker players. And I can assure you… From birth, Rachel has been taught to protect her queen at all costs.
The question is, what role is Dimitri playing in Kristen’s latest con? Does she see him as an equal? Her king standing right beside her? Or is Dimitri just another one of her pawns?
Leah, whatever it is, I’m sure we can find Come on, tell me. Tell me what’s upset you like this. What’s wrong?
It’s my Uncle Victor. He’s dead. Oh! Oh dear, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you had an Uncle Victor. Gwendolyn, of course you did. My Uncle Victor, Kiriakis, Ringabel. Oh that, Victor, you mean Sunny and Xander’s pathetic excuse for an uncle? You’re crying over that old geezer. Yes, I am. He was family. He was my… Well, technically, he was my uncle in law for a brief period.
You mean that brief period when you blackmailed his nephew into marriage? Come on, the man despised you! he glared at me with the intensity of a thousand suns, and, sure, he had the warmth of Jack Nicholson in The Shining, but… We had a special bond. When I think of the last Christmas we spent together at the family home…
So, how do Christmas mornings work around here? When do we open the gifts? An hour after we throw you out on your sugarplum ass. Victor, you’re such a cut up. Anderson! I need you to escort this deranged woodland critter out of my house. I think, deep down, Despite all the kvetching I’ve done about him in therapy, I think he actually liked me.
Oh, I’m so sorry, Matty. No, never, don’t.
I know our stories aren’t the same. But I do get what it feels like to become so lost. It’s so separated from reality that you end up hurting innocent people. You see, but our stories aren’t the same at all. No, you, you told me, right? That this Megan cow, she brainwashed you. So you. You weren’t in your right mind when you heard those people weren were, but you weren’t, but you weren’t even in your right mind when you went after Susan Banks.
You told me that you were grieving over your ex-fiancee. And God knows people when they grieve, do crazy things, especially when they’re alone, when they don’t have support, which clearly you didn’t.
I, I don’t know. Maybe, maybe. I know you didn’t ask for my opinion. But from what you just told me, it sounds like E. J. DiMera and this Gabby woman used you as a pawn in your twisted little family war.
You know, this could be a palace coup. I mean, Kristen could be using her daughter as a red herring, knowing we’d follow the scent, and then… And then what? She beheads us all and she ascends the Iron Throne? I wouldn’t put it past her. Okay, I wouldn’t either, but I haven’t seen any white walkers milling about.
So let’s slow down, go with what we know, what we can deduce, and build on that. Okay, well we know that Dimitri is too smart, too cunning, to be Kristen’s pawn. Unless she’s double crossing him. Which is entirely possible. However, we know that she and Mr. Gotta Be Married By My 40th Birthday are in this together.
Yeah, whatever this is. You know, when I talked to Rachel, I asked her to play 20 questions with me, and we only answered one question before Mommy interrupted. What was the question? What was the answer? I told her that I knew that her and Kristen had a secret, and that it had something to do with money. So I asked her if it involved anybody in this house.
And what did she say? She said yes. Well, that’s a start. Yes, and we still have 19 chances to get to the finish line. Hmm.
Please, sit.
So, just out of curiosity, Mr. Roth… Oh, please, uh, call me Elliot. All right, Elliot. Pray tell, what, what would happen to the money earmarked for my nephew via the von Leuschner codicil if, uh, the marriage doesn’t stand up to your… Rigorous scrutiny. It’s quite simple. Should I determine that Mr. Von Leuchner did not meet the terms of the codicil or that his marriage is fraudulent, the money set aside for him would be divided between the remaining heirs of the Von Leuchner Trust.
Oh, I see. And that would be Carly Manning, Frankie Brady, Some love child no one knows about, an unassuming cobbler in Vienna. There aren’t any cobblers listed as theirs. But you’ve certainly done your homework on the von Leuschner family history. Mr. Mehra, I grow more impressed by the minute. Hmm. Well, Elliot, I am not one for homework.
I just want everybody to be treated fairly. That’s commendable. And getting back to business, it appears Katerina and Francois both renounced their claim to the von Leuschner family fortune decades ago. It seems they’re more than happy to subsist on their wages as a film director and chocolatier, respectively.
I see. Uh, so who, uh, Would get the money if it falls through for Dimitri. Dimitri’s portion would be divided equally between Katerina’s children, Dimitri’s cousins. Nicholas James Alamein and Melanie Jonas. But, surely you aren’t worried about your nephew failing to meet the terms of the codicil, are you?
Mr. Merrill?
Oh, I don’t know where all this grief is coming from. Maybe it’s just being here in Reykjavik. Walking past all the tall, blonde Icelandic zaddies. That I’ll never get to cover head to toe in Skier. Oh, so much is coming up. I’m even thinking about how I’ve never had a chance to mourn Bernardo. From West Side Story.
I saw the movie recently. The original from 1961. And George Chakiris, oh, I was so smitten. And when Tony takes Riff’s blade and stabs him? Oh, God! Oh, Matty, I’m so sorry. You’re feeling so sad. Is there, is there anything I can do to help you feel better? Actually, I did see a picture of a weirdly shaped ice cream cone downstairs with an impossible to pronounce word beneath it.
Right, okay. Well, if ice cream is what Matty wants, then ice cream is what he shall have. Chocolate or vanilla? Okay, both. Dimitri, can I get anything for you, darling? Oh, uh, I probably shouldn’t risk it after earlier. Oh, right, the yogurt, yes. Right, well, very well then. I will be back in a jiffy, okay?
What was that? You scared me half to death, showing up here in tears. It looked like you had a confession on the tip of your tongue. What? I would never. I really am sad. I’m sad about, well, mostly that all the viking themed gay bars I thought would be here for some reason aren’t. Although… A confession would have served you right.
After you suggested I take Gwen with me to a very fictional Madonna concert? How is that gonna play out? We show up at the Fjord extravaganza and no one’s there. I only said it because you called me a tight ass. That was a compliment. You also said that I had no taste in music. Was that a compliment too?
No, but I was just acting for Gwen, playing the role of someone not having sex with her husband. Really? Really. And were you acting just now or are you actually sad about Victor Kiriakis passing? I really am sad. Curmudgeons are a dying breed. We need them. Aww. Oh, darling. Everything’s gonna be okay. Hey, you know what?
I just had an idea. How about we take your mind off things?
So? Where do you think your mom goes from here? Well, it’s hard to say. Um. It’s, of course, great that she’s doing better. But, I mean. The reality is, is that she’s still responsible for the death of Johnny’s grandmother. But surely the courts won’t hold her responsible for something she did while she wasn’t in her right mind.
Well, the only person that knows for sure whether or not my mom will be prosecuted is in that room with your brother. Huh. Well, why don’t we knock on the door and ask Melinda right now?
Of course I’m not worried. Dimitri and Gwendolyn Ryszczak are completely above board. And they said their vows and Dimitri is deeply in I appreciate the reassurance. Oh, trust me, Elliot. Those two are head over heels. They can’t keep their hands off of one another.
Yo, I cannot take my hands off of you. Well, you have to. We cannot do this. Oh, come on. I just… Just what? I am in deep mourning. This is as inappropriate as the comment that lacrosse coach made to me when I was peeling a banana in the cafeteria.
You are funny. I try. Too hard most of the time. No, not too hard. You always manage to lift my spirits with that sense of humor. It’s one of the many reasons that I am just crazy about you. Stop it! Stop it! Stop! Stop! What if Gwen comes back and finds out you are as gay as a Cher collage? You can tell her you were just consoling me.
I’ll be quick. Oh, uh.
But really, must we leave this room? Because I’m telling you, I hate staying here. We must, babe. We must. Because, listen, I would love to stay in bed with you all day and all night. But the sooner we get downstairs and sniff out what your sister’s really hiding… The better. Okay? Time is of the essence. Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you’re planning someone’s takedown?
Oh, right. That guy just did. Shall we? We shall.
You better get that. It could be Gwen. It could be Gwen.
Yes. Ground control to Major Tom. Honeymoon is over, nephew. You need to haul your ass back to Salem. Pronto. I don’t
know, it’s kind of crazy. You know, my therapists are already helping me understand and process, you know, some childhood traumas. Um, all the things I endured as a SEAL. And how all that made me more susceptible to the mind control. Well, I’m glad you’re getting the help that you need, Harris.
You know, about what you said earlier, you know, I know that you were trying to just ease my conscience. But the fact is, I was in control of my faculties when Gabby asked me to pretend to be married to Jake. I could have said no. But I chose to go along with the lie.
And then when EJ found out the truth, and he banished me from Salem, I just, I just went into a really dark place.
But you know the, the help and the treatment that I’m getting here at Bayview, it’s… I feel like it’s actually starting to help and I’m finally able to see some light. And that’s why
I have faith in you too. We’ll be walking out of here very soon. There is Michael.
Oh my god, did you hear what I just heard? Seems like Melinda and your brother are not quite tapped out. Yeah, and less stamina like you said. So it looks like I’ll have to wait to ask the DA about mom’s case. You know when she and your brother aren’t, uh… Otherwise occupied. In the meantime, maybe we could take a page from their book and make a little noise of our own.
Mmm. Mmm! Oh, true!
So, who was that on the phone? Dad, that was my, uh, my Aunt Kristen. She’s in Chicago for a few days. You’re lying to me, I can tell. I am not lying. You are, and I know this because you’re doing that thing where the words coming out of your mouth don’t sound true. So tell me, what was so important that Kristen had to bother us on our honeymoon?
Oopsies. Your honeymoon with Gwen. Okay, fine. The truth is, that somebody showed up at the DiMera mansion representing the von Leuschner Trust. And? Did they bring the money from the cata salt? The first payment, yes. Oh my gosh! Wow, wow, wow! You know, this means we could actually fly to a secret Madonna concert.
We’re gonna get it. Just as soon as Gwen and I return to Salem and prove to this man that we are a legitimate married couple.
Sorry to keep you waiting. Oh, that’s quite all right, but were you able to get in touch with your nephew? Well, I didn’t know we had company. What a pleasant surprise. Well, if you’ll excuse us, um, Elliot, let me walk you to the door, please. Uh, wait! Aren’t you going to introduce us to your guest, Kristen? Uh, Elliot Roth, I represent the The Martin Preparatory, uh, Academy.
Uh, this is Rachel’s new headmaster at her school. Rachel, I, um Kristen, I didn’t know you were pulling Scalemel Elementary. Yeah, you see, um, she needed a more challenging scholastic experience, uh She’s very clever, like her mommy. Yes, um, shall we go?
Nice meeting you, Elliot. Yes, um, likewise. Thank you.
I told you she was up to something. That Elliot is, is, is not the headmaster at Martin Prepper or anywhere else. What’s going on, Miss DiMera? Who’s Rachel? And why are you telling those people I’m the headmaster of some school? Rachel is my daughter and that is my brother and my sister in law. Maybe I’m not understanding.
Why are your brother and sister in law not… Well, Elliot… My brother is married to an opportunistic fortune hunter who is hell bent on sleeping her way to the corner office at DiMera. And the last thing that Dimitri and Gwen need right now is that woman knowing about this enormous fortune that he has come into.
I suppose that makes sense. So when exactly are Dimitri and Gwen expected to return? Well, actually, very soon. The Demerijad is on the runway. Uh, in Reykjavik, as we speak. Well, I do look forward to concluding my business with Mr. Leuchner. I’d better be off. Tell your nephew I’ll be staying at the Salem Inn.
Wonderful. And I will make sure he comes to see you the moment he returns.
So, you’re telling me this Elliot character is in Salem to vet your marriage? Mm hmm. What is this, the Middle Ages? Does he have a golden chalice, a feathered quill? Right, well, two Bragafer something or other ice creams, coming right up. I’m sorry that took me so long. You should have seen the queue, lads.
You’d think that we were waiting to see the Queen lying in state. Mattie? Dimitri? Is everything all right? Yes, yes of course Gwen, uh, but unfortunately I’m afraid it is so long, au revoir to Iceland for now. What? Why? Well, I received a phone call while you were away and my presence is requested back in Salem at once.
Requested? By whom? I’ll tell you all about it on the way, but for now we really have to get packing. Chop chop! So
how’s Rachel getting on at her new school? Is she, uh, playing well with others? Hmm. Where is your wife? She got an errand to run.
Now
I’m gonna get to the
bottom of why Mr. Elliot Roth is really in Salem.
What’s wrong? I don’t know, I just, uh, I guess I didn’t envision our first time together happening before a live studio audience. Me neither. I guess the collective three hours of sleep has impacted our decision making abilities. Agreed. We deserve better. Yeah, mood lighting, rose petals. At the very least, privacy.
Yeah, I mean, I’m a simple guy, a locked door will suffice. Let’s say we both get ready for work. And then once we get home, we can make a solid plan about when and where we can finally be together. Sounds good to me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a very cold shower.
And the doctors think that the visit went so well that they say that Chip can come back soon. Oh, God, and Harris, I, I can’t wait till he does. Oh, my boy. God, my sweet, wonderful boy.
No, the only thing that I’m actually proud of in this life is getting to be his mom. Your progress gives me hope. I’m telling you. This place can help me, can help anyone. And look, I know it’s only been a couple of days since my last episode, but um, I feel like I’m really getting my life back. And, to put my own little spin on a quote from one of my favorite Bruce Willis movies, I no longer see dead people.
Heh… Hm.
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