Y&R Transcript Thursday, March 30, 2023

Young & The Restless Transcript


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Transcript provided by Suzanne

Summer: Oh, my god.

Phyllis: Congratulations to the abbotts.

[ Chuckles ] Congratulations. Bravo. Bravo.

Summer: Oh, my god.

Lauren: Bravo to the happy couple.

Michael: Congratulations.

[ Applause ]

Phyllis: Yeah, but bravo would sort of mean that it’s a performance of some kind, and this is quite — quite a show.

[ Chuckles ]

Nick: What do you say we go and get that cheeseburger now?

Sally: Yeah. Best idea ever.

Nick: Yeah.

Sharon: Are you worried about the baby?

Adam: Um… yes, I-I am, sharon. I’m really sorry. Will you excuse me?

Sharon: Yeah. Please, go. Go.

Phyllis: [ Sighs ]

Daniel: Mom, you need to stop this.

Summer: Please.

Phyllis: Why? Why do I need to stop? I’m embarrassing you? Is that what I’m doing?

Daniel: Yeah, yeah, a little. So why don’t we go, you and me right now? Come on, let’s —

Phyllis: Why? Why? Why? ‘Cause I’m telling the truth? Is that why? Because that woman has convinced everyone in town that she’s a changed woman?

Jack: Listen to your children. Go. Now.

Phyllis: I will go when i am good and ready! When I am good and ready, I will leave this room! But not until then! Does everybody have a problem with the truth? You have a problem with that? You don’t, right? You know what I’m talking about. I have lost everything. I have lost my entire life, my children, everything because of that woman. And I am telling you, that woman is as dangerous today as she was the day she faked her death, and I am the only one, apparently, who sees this.

[ Sniffles ]

Amanda: Please, don’t let me keep you. I would hate to ruin your date. That is what this is, right, a date? I’m sorry. What is it that you said to me when I found you practically naked on top of devon? That it was spontaneous? No, no. You said it was a moment of confusion. Well, look at you. Doesn’t look like anyone’s confused now, huh? Word of advice. He’s a cheater.

Devon: Amanda, wait a second.

Amanda: Why? So you can tell me that you guys are living together, shacking up, playing house? No.

Devon: No, no. I don’t want to have an argument with you right here.

Amanda: Agreed. So if you’ll excuse me.

Devon: Can you just wait a second, please? I would like to have a peaceful conversation with you. Can you give me that?

Amanda: [ Scoffs ]

Phyllis: Jack. [ Chuckles ] No — no one’s happy for you. Seriously. I mean, it’s an embarrassment. They’re laughing at you, actually.

Jack: This is an evening of celebration. Your tirades are not welcome here, phyllis.

Phyllis: You must be loving it. You loving it? I mean, you should. Yeah, because you hit the jackpot, didn’t you, baby? Marrying into the abbott family.

Danny: Hey, phyllis. Phyllis, hey, hey. Hey, let’s step outside and get some fresh air, huh? Cool yourself down. What do you say?

Phyllis: You know me. Right? You know me?

Danny: Of course, yeah.

Phyllis: Okay. I mean, you know that I have changed, right? You know I have changed, right?

Danny: I know.

Phyllis: And I have done horrible things, horrible things in my past, but I’ve changed, and you know that, right?

Danny: Yeah.

Phyllis: I’ve hurt a lot of people in this room, but you know I’d sacrifice anything for my children. You know. And I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this, but I have to. I have to. I have no choice. Because of you. Because of you. That’s why I am doing this. Because of you. Because she’ll try to take me down. Oh, I’m — I’m fine.

Summer: Mom.

Phyllis: I’m okay.

[ Breathes heavily ] I’m fine.

Summer: You’re not fine.

Diane: You’re obviously drunk, so why don’t you just go home and sleep it off? Sometimes, the lows of bipolar depression

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Amanda: I have nothing more to say to you.

Devon: Well, you had an awful lot to say earlier, and then you just left, and we didn’t get a chance to actually talk.

Amanda: [ Scoffs ]

Abby: I know that you have zero reason to listen to me.

Amanda: That’s right.

Abby: But maybe if you could just listen to devon, maybe it would bring you both some —

Amanda: Some closure? No, I got all the closure that I needed when I found you two together.

Abby: I was going to say healing for both of you.

Amanda: [ Chuckles ]

Devon: Amanda, it would mean a lot.

Amanda: [ Sighs ] Fine. You have three minutes.

Devon: Thank you.

Abby: Okay, I’m going to give you some privacy.

Devon: Sure. Kiss dominic for me.

Abby: Yeah.

Amanda: [ Scoffs ]

Devon: Why don’t we go inside and we can sit at the bar and I’ll order you a chardonnay if you’d like.

Amanda: Remembering my favorite drink doesn’t score you any points.

Abby: I’m so sorry.

Amanda: Help the lady find her shirt, devon. Did you rip it off and throw it over there by the stairs? Or did she peel it off teasingly?

Devon: Please don’t do that.

Abby: I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I am so sorry for the pain that I caused you. Look, I understand that a betrayal is a betrayal and it doesn’t matter that it wasn’t intentional and we never meant for this to happen. It was just — it came out of emotion, and I — we don’t even know where it came from.

Amanda: Okay, you can stop. I don’t need to hear this. I really don’t care.

Abby: I doubt that.

Amanda: Well, it’s true. But you’re right. “Not caring” — it didn’t happen overnight. It took time. I replayed that day over and over, you scrambling to find your shirt, devon stammering to explain. I was hurt, I was angry, but i could not — i did not let it dictate my life. I have too much to focus on. My job, my family. My mom needs my love and support back home. So, I have so much going on that I don’t have time to worry about you and devon ever again.

Ashley: This is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Jack’s idiocy was on full display. This announcement that he’s engaged to diane. Ugh! Do you know — you know what he did? He knew that I wouldn’t make a scene in front of half of genoa city. But you know what else is making me crazy?

Tucker: No, but I have a feeling —

Ashley: Traci. Traci. I watched her face when jack was making that announcement, and she knew. She knew, tucker, and she didn’t tell me. Am I the only one in my family that hasn’t lost their mind? Am I the only one that sees diane for who she really is? She has played jack perfectly. You realize that, right? Because she’s gotten everything she wanted.

[ Sighs ]

Danny: Hey, come on. Why don’t —

Phyllis: I’m good. I’m good. I am not dru– hey, trust me. I am not drunk.

Jack: You’ve made your scene, phyllis. Go home.

Phyllis: Okay, I just have this to say. One more thing. Diane, I tried to apologize to you.

Diane: That’s a lie.

Phyllis: No, I tried to apologize to you, and you know it. I brought you into a room to apologize and clean the slate, and you attacked me. She attacked me. She attacked me, by the by. Yeah, that happened. [ Sighs ] But it doesn’t matter, mrs. Soon-to-be jack abbott, right? You’ve just taken my entire life, that’s all.

Jack: You blew up your own life, phyllis. Blame the choices you made, not diane.

Phyllis: I really just cannot believe you’re still protecting her. You are so blind, jack. You are —

Summer: Mom, please, just stop.

Phyllis: Baby girl, I’m fine. Seriously.

Daniel: It’s okay. Why don’t we just get out of here, you and me?

Phyllis: [ Chuckles ]

Daniel: Come on.

Phyllis: Just give me one second, okay? I’m really getting to the good part, okay? Give me one second. Alright, baby? Seriously. I’d like to toast the happy couple. Anybody have a drink for me?

Jack: Phyllis, phyllis, no more. We’ve had enough of your hatred.

Phyllis: No, it’s about love. Honestly, it’s just about love, that’s all. I want to toast your happiness together. See, I’m just trying to protect you and my entire family right now.

Jack: Yes, with lies and viciousness, yes.

Phyllis: Right, right, lies and viciousness. Sure. I don’t understand this still. I don’t understand. This woman abandoned your son and made him believe that she was dead. That’s what she did.

[ Voice breaking ] I would sacrifice everything for my children. Everything. I would lay down my life for my children. But I’m the bad guy? And she still gets a free pass, and everybody just accepts her. She will hurt you. She will. And she will hurt everybody else in this room. But you know, don’t you? You… you know that I see you. You know. Right from the start, there was nothing… different about you. I know… I know you’re capable.

Daniel: Whoa, whoa.

Summer: Mom.

Daniel: Got her. What’s the #1 retinol brand

Nate: I could dance with you all night long.

Elena: Oh, careful. I might hold you to that.

Nate: Mm. Don’t look now, but this is definitely a night for surprises.

Devon: Thank you.

Elena: Hm. Devon and amanda.

Nate: Actually talking. Yet another sign devon is trying to make peace.

Amanda: Thank you for the drink, but we really don’t need to do this. I don’t want to see you grovel.

Devon: I take it you haven’t talked to lily?

Amanda: No. Why?

Devon: Because I dropped the lawsuit.

Amanda: What?

Devon: Yeah.

Amanda: So is that why jill waltzed into the arbitration and demanded a recess?

Devon: Yes.

Amanda: Huh.

Devon: She changed her mind about the ipo.

Amanda: And you just dropped your lawsuit? Just like that? You were so angry, it was so personal, and, poof, just like that, it’s all over?

Devon: Did you hear that tonight they renamed the lounge the neil winters jazz lounge?

Amanda: That’s very nice. I’m sure that you and lily were very moved.

Devon: Yeah, we were. And it was very nice. The whole thing put everything into perspective for me, and it made me focus on what neil would actually want if he was here, and it certainly isn’t his kids going at each other. And lily felt the same way.

Amanda: Oh, so you and lily are —

Devon: We’re fine, yeah. We talked, and we forgave each other. And I wish it didn’t take me as long as it did to get to a place where I could forgive her and ask for forgiveness myself.

Amanda: Well, I’m glad. I am. No, really. I’m happy for you and lily.

Devon: Thank you.

Amanda: So I guess you’re going back to chancellor-winters?

Devon: I don’t know about that yet. I’m just happy to have my sister back.

Amanda: Well, good for you.

Devon: I feel like this whole last year has been a journey of me making regrettable decisions and hurting people that I care about, and I know I can’t fix that, but I’m trying to move forward. I’m trying to learn and be a better man because of it.

Amanda: Well, I am really glad that ripping my heart out was just — it was just a part of your journey to finding yourself.

Devon: I never intended to do that to you, amanda. Listen, I haven’t forgiven myself for what I did to you, and I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just want you to know how profoundly sorry I am for what I did.

Amanda: I’ll heal, devon. Don’t worry.

Daniel: Easy, easy. Someone give me something for her head.

Kyle: Yeah, got it.

Summer: God, I knew that there was something wrong with her.

Diane: What is she up to now?

Gina: Oh, for god’s sake. She’s faking it. It’s just phyllis going big.

Christine: I’m not so sure.

Victor: Something is way off. I’m going to call some people. Okay? Keep me informed.

Nikki: Alright.

Summer: Mom, can you wake up? Can you hear me?

Daniel: Can I get an ambulance to the gcac, please?

Sharon: We need to keep her airway clear.

Kyle: Hey, phyllis, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?

Summer: We need a doctor. Is there a doctor here? Mom, please wake up.

Daniel: Hey, mom. Mom.

Kyle: Phyllis — hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Summer: Oh, my god.

Daniel: Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.

Lily: Well, this is a surprise. You two are being civil.

Amanda: Yeah, devon told me that he dropped his lawsuit and that the two of you have resolved your issues, right?

Lily: Yes, we have. Very grateful to have my brother back. So was the lawsuit the only thing that you two were discussing?

Amanda: No. Devon was telling me all about his journey to finding himself. But, you know, I think what he said made a lot of sense. The only way to move on is to get past the anger and the hurt. So to moving on.

Devon: Yeah. The good news for you is, now that the lawsuits off the table, you can go back home to your mom and family.

Amanda: Yeah. Well, I actually feel like I have family here, too.

Victoria: Oh, there you are. Nate, we need a doctor.

Nate: What is it?

Victoria: There’s an emergency. You have to come.

Elena: Why? What happened?

Victoria: Phyllis collapsed.

Devon: Collapsed?

Summer: She’s tried so many times to make things right between us, and I’ve just — I’ve shut her down every time. How could I do that to her?

Daniel: Hey, mom knows you love her.

Summer: Does she?

Victoria: Excuse me.

Amanda: Oh, my god.

Elena: What happened?

Nikki: She was having a tantrum, and she just passed out.

Daniel: She started talking, she started stumbling around, and then she collapsed.

Nate: Has she been drinking?

Summer: No, I don’t think so.

Nate: I don’t smell any alcohol.

Daniel: The emts are on their way. They should be here any minute.

Elena: They need to hurry. I can barely feel her pulse.


macular degeneration

Sally: I am so excited for this burger. Although, I have to admit, I do feel a little guilty eating a burger beat cheeseburger at crimson lights, but it is absolutely not going to stop me.

Nick: Don’t worry about that. I got a pretty solid in with the owner of this joint.

Sally: Ooh, yes. Extra hot sauce.

Nick: You put hot sauce on your french fries?

Sally: Uh, yeah. If there’s something that you should know about me, it’s that I love my hot sauce.

Nick: So weird. Alright, well, let me try one.

Sally: No, unh-unh. You had a chance to get your own. You said you didn’t want any.

Nick: Well, how about little credit, then, for getting you out of the gala before things went south?

Sally: Fine. Maybe one.

Nick: Just one.

Ashley: Mamie had a wonderful time. Isn’t that nice? She’s very tired, though.

Tucker: You seem a little tired yourself.

Ashley: Thank you.

Tucker: Try that. Cheers.

Ashley: Yeah, cheers. It’s not going to help, but thanks. You’ve been quiet all night long.

Tucker: When did I get an opportunity to speak at that place? It’s just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah from everyone. So how about jack and diane, huh? They sure seem happy.

Ashley: It’s faux happiness because it’s based on a lie.

Tucker: Diane was just radiant.

Ashley: She wasn’t radiant, tucker. She was smug because she thinks she won.

Tucker: Or maybe the two of them have found true love.

Ashley: I liked you a lot better when you weren’t talking, actually.

Tucker: No, but, seriously, she seems to have changed. Really.

Ashley: Are you trying — listen.

Tucker: No, but if so, who are we to doubt her, to judge?

Ashley: Do you want to annoy me right now? Because you know better than anybody what she’s capable of, so —

Tucker: Yeah, and I know what love is capable of.

Ashley: Oh, I know, because of the time you spent in the ashram —

Tucker: No, because of you. And because I’m selfish.

Ashley: Well, that part I completely agree with you.

Tucker: I saw the way they looked at each other when jack was giving that speech. It was there. It was there — forgiveness. And I selfishly want to believe that forgiveness is possible because that’s what I want from you. And I figure if jack and diane can find a second chance, then maybe we can, too.

Nate: Breaths are shallow.

Elena: Pulse is thready.

Nate: Pupils are reactive.

Audra: Nate’s a man of many talents.

Victoria: Thank god.

Elena: Does your mother have any allergies?

Daniel: No.

Nate: Is she on any medications?

Summer: Not that I know of.

Elena: Did anything specific happen to prompt this? Did anything unusual happen tonight before she collapsed?

Kyle: She was upset about my dad’s engagement announcement. She went off on them, just ranting, and then passed out.

Summer: Can you tell what’s wrong with her?

Daniel: Why isn’t she waking up?

Elena: Unfortunately, her loss of consciousness can be a sign of a number of things. I’m sorry we don’t have any better answers for you yet.

Nate: The only thing we know is that we need to get your mother to the hospital, stat. Her vitals are deteriorating.

Elena: Here they are.

Danny: This doesn’t make any sense. I mean, phyllis is so strong and healthy, right?

Lauren: Well, you know, she was in a coma a few years ago. That couldn’t have lasting effects, could it?

Nikki: Whatever this is, let’s pray she pulls out of it.

Michael: If anyone’s a fighter, phyllis is. (Geri) I smoked and I have copd.

“The young and the restless”

will continue.

Sally: I hope you’re not just going to stand there lurking.

Adam: [ Exhales sharply ] I’m not lurking.

Sally: You’re totally lurking.

Adam: Okay, look, I — i just have to know. Are — are you and the baby okay?

Sally: We’re fine.

Nick: That’s why you’re here?

Adam: At the gala, I saw you put your hand on your stomach and then leave pretty quickly, so I was worried that something was wrong, but now I know. Cheeseburgers. You were just hungry.

Sally: Okay, well, if you followed us here, then you saw us go through the drive-through, so you didn’t put it together then?

Adam: Well, I thought you might have just been faint, maybe some low blood sugar, and if that’s all it was, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.

Nick: That’s why you followed us?

Adam: And now you make me sound like a stalker. But I would rather chalk it up to being an overprotective father-to-be.

Sally: Well, I guess i appreciate the honesty.

Nick: Yeah, honesty’s good.

Adam: Well… I’m genuinely relieved everything is okay with you and the baby. Pretend I was never here.

Sally: Or you could join us.

Adam: Are you sure?

Sally: No. Mnh-mnh. No, but I just want to find a way for things to be normal, and this is our new normal. And to make it all about me, I really don’t have the greatest tolerance for stress right now. It gives me heartburn. Like, for real. So I would just really like to, you know, figure this out in a way that doesn’t include stalking or family feuds.

Summer: Has there been any changes?

Nate: I’m sorry, there hasn’t, but your mom’s stable for now, okay?

Elena: We’ll know more after we run some tests.

Daniel: Okay, I’m going to follow the ambulance to the hospital. Do you want to ride with me?

Summer: Yeah, I — I should do that, right, instead of, um, driving myself?

Daniel: Yeah.

Kyle: Hey, go to the hospital with your brother, sweetheart. I’ll check in with harrison and the nanny and meet you there.

Summer: Okay. Thanks.

Kyle: She’s going to be okay.

Lily: Hey, I’m really sorry.

Daniel: I mean, I was such a jerk to her. You know, she came up, she tells me how much she loves me and how proud she is of me, and I just blow her off? And now — now look at this.

Lily: No, no, don’t do that, okay? You will get a chance to tell her how much you love her. She’s way too fierce to let this get her down, okay? She’ll be fine.

Danny: Lily’s right. Your mother is way tougher than whatever this is.

Lily: Hey, it’s okay. Come here.

Traci: Sweetie, we are here for you — whatever you need, okay? I’ll be praying for your mom. Come on, sweetie. Okay.

Leanna: Any idea what led to this circus? That spectacular collapse?

Victoria: Leanna.

Leanna: Yeah?

Victoria: Go to hell.

Diane: [ Sighs ] How is this happening? Oh, my god.

Jack: What?

Diane: Phyllis has my ring. How did she get it?

[ Laughter ]

Jack: Ooh, yeah.

Lauren: [ Laughing ] Oh, honey!

Jack: Of course. It was stark who bumped into me. He’s the one who picked my pocket.

Diane: Why? Do you think he left?

Jack: And miss the show? Not a chance. But to what end? I don’t know.

Diane: You know what? This isn’t making sense. Why would he take my ring and give it to phyllis?

Jack: Anything can happen with those two.

Diane: [ Sighs ]

Jack: There he is.

Jeremy: Nikki, how beautiful you look tonight.

Nikki: What are you doing here? You were distinctly not invited.

Jeremy: Call me a plus-one. My god. Phyllis. What the hell happened here? And now please welcome ana montoya.

Nick: Yeah, I agree. We need to make this situation work. Boundaries, et cetera. I thought we were doing a pretty good job until a certain someone started tailing us through the burger beat parking lot.

[ Alert sounds ]

Sally: What is it?

Nick: I don’t know. Summer needs me. I got to go. Um… you good?

Sally: Yeah. Yeah, I’m — I’m fine. Go take care of your family.

Nick: You’ll make sure she gets home okay?

Adam: Um, of course.

Nick: Thanks.

[ Smooches ]

Adam: Did you have fun at the big event?

Sally: Yeah, till things got weird. You?

Adam: Uh, it was alright.

Sally: And sharon was alright with you taking off to stalk us?

Adam: [ Exhales sharply ] She understood. Did you want to head out?

Sally: I have waited way too long for this burger, and I’m not going to wait another second, so if you have someplace to be, I can get myself home.

Adam: I don’t have anyplace to be. So I will stay.

Sally: Okay, but don’t expect any fries.

Ashley: Second chance? I don’t even like you sometimes.

Tucker: You like me sometimes. Sometimes you more than like me. So there’s hope.

Ashley: Honestly, I preferred you when you weren’t talking. Could you go back to that?

Tucker: It’s too late.

[ Taps ] I want a second chance with you, ashley. Alright maybe a — by now, a 22nd chance. But, look, if diane and jack can do it, we can do it.

Ashley: Completely different situation.

Tucker: No, not at all. Look what diane did when she came — granted, she didn’t land a helicopter on your back lawn…

Ashley: Thank god.

Tucker: But when she came back, she owned up to her sins, she apologized for any pain she’s caused anyone, and, in her own way, she has tried to redeem herself, as have I. So same.

Ashley: It’s not the same.

Tucker: Yes, it is.

Ashley: It’s not the same. It’s completely different because jack is so befuddled by what he thinks is love that he doesn’t see diane for who she is. See, I see you. I know exactly who you are.

Tucker: And you love me.

Ashley: Listen.

Tucker: [ Laughs ]

Ashley: Just stop it. I need to focus on jack and making sure he doesn’t make the worst mistake of his life, because I’ll be damned if diane jenkins ever becomes a member of the abbott family.

Jeremy: How is she?

Nate: Phyllis is stable, but that’s about all I can tell you.

Jeremy: Well, she was perfectly fine. How did this happen?

Diane: Oh, come on. What is he doing?

Jack: Something tells me we’re going to find out, and it’s not going to be good.

Nate: We don’t have any answers at the moment, but we should know more after we run some tests.

Jeremy: [ Scoffs ] That’s great. Nobody knows anything. Well, come on, guys. Let’s — let’s get her to the hospital. Hey. Listen. You’re going to be okay. You hear me, my love? I want to be with you every step of the way.

Emt carson: Hey, I’m sorry, sir. You can’t ride with us. But you can meet us there.

Daniel: What the hell is that — “my love”?

Summer: I don’t know what he’s doing, but he needs to get away from her.

Kyle: Yeah, it makes no sense.

Leanna: Who’s the handsome new face in town?

Victoria: You don’t want to know.

Leanna: Oh, but I do.

Jeremy: Hey. You’re going to be just fine, okay? I’ll see you soon, my love.

Emt carson: Let’s go.

Kyle: Okay, you just keep me posted.

Summer: I will.

Lily: Hey, call me when you know something, okay?

Daniel: Yeah.

Lily: Alright.

Jeremy: Hm. You people. You happy?

Kyle: Hey, where do you get off crashing this party, pretending you care about phyllis? You know damn well you’re not wanted here.

Jack: What the hell are you up to, stark? What are you doing here?

Jeremy: I get answers first. How did phyllis end up in an ambulance?

Jack: I don’t see where that’s any of your business.

Jeremy: Oh, it is my business. So somebody better start talking.

Kyle: Hey, get out of here. And stay away from the hospital. Summer is worried sick about her mother. She doesn’t need you there.

Jeremy: Nothing is going to stop me from going to the hospital.

Kyle: Mm-hmm?

Jeremy: Once I get my answers, I will be right by my wife’s side.

Traci: [ Gasps ] What? My a1c stayed here, it needed to be here.

Ashley: You know, I’ve been telling jack since diane first came back to town that she is still a threat, she hasn’t changed, and she keeps on lying. Somehow she manages to take those lies and she turns him around and she uses them to her advantage. And not just that. Every time I have an argument with jack about it, it just pushes him closer to her, you know, ’cause he can’t help but play the hero to this walking nightmare.

Tucker: Mm. You really got your work cut out for you. I have a thought, though.

Ashley: Please tell me. I’m desperate.

Tucker: Well, it’s not going to stop their marriage, but —

Ashley: Well, then, what’s the point?

Tucker: Well, hear me out. So, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction —

Ashley: Oh, my god. Excuse me?

Tucker: You love it when i talk science.

Ashley: I don’t love it when you talk — you have no idea what you’re talking about, tucker.

Tucker: Alright, now, so let’s talk the facts, then. So you hate diane. You think she’s a threat to jack?

Ashley: Well, at the very least, she’s going to break his heart — the very least.

Tucker: She’s a threat to the abbott clan.

Ashley: She’s going to blow our family apart, yeah.

Tucker: Right. Kind of like how jack feels about me.

Ashley: Times 10. Is there a point to your story?

Tucker: Yes, so you have told jack about your concerns, about the facts, your truths over and over and over again, ad nauseam, right?

Ashley: Right, he refuses to listen to me, so —

Tucker: Right, then stop talking and do something. You know? Act. Shake him up. Kind of punch him between the eyes.

Ashley: Okay, and what do you have in mind?

Tucker: Marry me.

Sally: [ Exhales sharply ] That was the greatest burger of all time.

[ Chuckles ]

Adam: You still like hot sauce with your fries?

Sally: Ooh, the hotter, the better.

Adam: You, um… you… you got A…

Sally: Here? Oh, here?

Adam: Yeah.

Sally: Oh.

Adam: Sorry.

Sally: No. Is it good?

Adam: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Sally: [ Clears throat ] So, um… this…

Adam: What?

Sally: The awkwardness. We really need to work on it. We’re going to be in each other’s lives for…ever now, so I’m going to say it again. We really need to figure this out. Okay?

Jack: Your wife? What the hell are you talking about?

Diane: You expect us to believe that phyllis is mrs. Stark?

Jeremy: Mrs. Stark was just wheeled out of here tonight on a gurney.

Jack: You and phyllis? That is absurd.

Jeremy: We got married three days ago.

Kyle: There’s no way phyllis would marry you.

Jeremy: Oh, and you know that because you’ve been so close lately.

Amanda: Phyllis is married, and she never said a word?

Danny: Who the hell are you?

Jeremy: The only person in this room that gives a damn about phyllis.

Lauren: So you just want us to accept that phyllis just suddenly got married? To you?

Jeremy: My wife and I were going to announce our marriage here tonight, but, unfortunately, that’s not going to happen.

Jack: Okay, what kind of game are you playing?

Jeremy: No game, jack. I’m just a happily married man.

Traci: Okay, so phyllis makes this giant change in her life, and she doesn’t tell her family or any of her friends?

Jeremy: What family?

[ Chuckles ] What friends? You all shut her out. You all made it very clear that you didn’t want to have anything to do with her.

Nikki: So you swooped in and took advantage of her?

Jeremy: Hardly. I was in a bad place, too. Was alone. I just got out of prison. I understood what phyllis felt.

Leanna: Prison? Huh.

Jack: Okay, this is ridiculous. You and phyllis? There was no wedding.

Jeremy: I don’t care what you believe, jack. Phyllis and I connected, so we decided to make it official.

Michael: So phyllis married you, someone she barely knew?

Jeremy: Yeah, she was afraid, vulnerable, she wanted protection, and I wanted to be that for her.

Jack: Protection from what?

Jeremy: From her.

Jack: From diane?

Jeremy: Phyllis was very afraid, and she had reason to be. So we’re all here, diane. Tell us, what did you do to phyllis?

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