GH Transcript Friday, March 22, 2024

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THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!

THE BEGINNING WAS INTERRUPTED BY NEWS; WE’LL GET THE REST LATER TODAY!

A miracle that I didn’t have fully stark white hair by the time I was 25. You know, and really struck me looking back on all of that, how how resilient dante always was, you know? He still is. Yeah. You know, sleep can be very healing. And that is what my son is doing right now. He is healing. So and now sam is talking herself hoarse, and, uh, you got a free meal out of it. Well, I tell you what — the day that I turn down any of your cooking, you know that I’ve been kicked in the head by one of these guys and it’s time to have me committed, take me to a hospital. Well, don’t get too excited. It’s just your standard-issue manicotti, so… well, it smells amazing. It was really relaxing to actually do something for someone, instead of just sitting around and waiting. You know, no one’s good at the kind of waiting that you’re doing. Yeah. And, uh, I-I don’t know if you could spare the time. I’d really love the company. If you don’t mind the horse smell, of course.

[ Both laugh ] It’s better than the smell of the hospital. Don’t get cocky, zorro. It’s a low bar.

[ Laughs ] You know, I can see why leo likes it down here. Being around healthy living things — it’s — it’s really nice. I’m looking into having alexis’s disbarment vacated. Ooh. Lofty undertaking. Well, for some. Thank you. But alexis didn’t even get a hearing. Evidence was simply presented that she perjured herself at neil byrne’s medical board hearing. Well, as I recall, he was a therapist and she was sleeping with him. Oh, no. He wasn’t her therapist at the time. They simply didn’t wait the requisite two years before, you know, enjoying each other’s company. Unfortunately, in a regrettable lapse of judgment, alexis decided to tell the board that they were not sleeping together in order to save neil’s license, but then that lie was discovered in her license was yanked. Well, lawyers that, um, perjure themselves are generally frowned department. Yes, but they didn’t even give alexis a chance to challenge the charge. They simply yanked her license and washed their hands of her. Well, she’s a smart lawyer. She could have appealed. She’s a very smart lawyer, and she deserved to have a hearing. Everyone deserves to be heard. Well, that’s certainly true. I want to find out who exactly was sitting on the committee at that time and why the process moved so quickly and was so under the radar. You don’t think it was an open-and-shut case, do you? You know, I think a lot of things are possible. That’s not one of them. I can feel it in my bones.

[ Laughs ] I’m intrigued. I love watching your mind work. I can almost see the sparks fly. Well, don’t go looking for any fire extinguishers ’cause I’m just getting started. Sasha, you know this crazy business. Have I said anything that isn’t true? No. I-I have sacrificed more than anybody else here for this business. I’ve given my heart, my mind, my body, my soul, my bank account to make a success of all of this. I know, lucy, I know. I care about this company and its success, too. Just not in the way that I used to. What — what are you saying, not in the way you used to? Hearing cody speak made me realize what I have been feeling. Lucy, I am so grateful to you for giving me the opportunity to work at deception. You changed my life, and I loved coming in every day and seeing all of you guys. I love you. But I think I’m over all of this. Effective immediately, I am resigning as the face of deception.


Alexis will always be a lawyer. You can take her bar card away, but she will always be driven by the pursuit of justice. It’s one of the things that made us such great friends — this passion that borders on obsession. Which plays to the more colorful versions of some of your clients. What can I say? A life of muted tones is not for me. Alexis has a fondness for colors, too. That and her incredible skill made me offer her a job at my firm. So when her license is reinstated, you’re gonna have to go up against both of us in court. And when I win, I take us all out to celebrate.

[ Laughs ] I know you, you generous thing. You’d do that anyway. Yeah, but let’s just hope that it happens for alexis. Well, I have — I’ve contacted everybody I know. I called in almost all my favors. And I will find out why alexis was disbarred in such an unceremonious fashion. If I can help you in any way, I’m at your disposal. Thank you so much. That’s very sweet of you. So you’re not gonna need me, are you? No, I have it well in hand. I would never bet against you. Only a fool would bet against me, and you, sir, are no fool. I shouldn’t be here right now. I shouldn’t have come home. I am dante’s mother, and I should be by his bedside channeling all of my energy to him until he wakes up. Hey, hey, an actual mama bear doesn’t have anything on you, okay? But you need to give yourself a break, okay? Otherwise you’re gonna end up in the bed next to dante. He wouldn’t want that. No one does. You’re an amazing mom. Dante always says it. I don’t know. You know you hear those stories sometimes about the moms that, like, see the kid pinned under a car or something, you know, they get a big rush of adrenaline and they pick the car up like some kind of a superhero or something? I don’t know. I kind of think you’re sort of a superhero. I mean, you’ve been dealing with an incredible amount of stress lately. You’ve been practically living in the hospital. Any mere mortal would have been crushed by it all by now. I’d grab your cape to show it and prove it to you, but it’s at the dry cleaner.

[ Laughs ] Mama q, I know if anyone can pull through this, it’s dante. That same strength is in every fiber of his being. He got it from you. Please think about this. Deception needs you. She’s right. Deception wouldn’t be where it is without you. Thank you. And I meant what I said — I love you guys. But it’s time. Time! T-that’s it. It’s time for you to take a vacation. Really, you know, we’ve been expanding the marketing so fast and all that pressure has been on you. You have been carrying this all alone. And — and so that is why I thought of — of maybe a — a second face, you know, someone that could help you carry the burden, just give you a chance to breathe.

[ Scoffs ] That’s not why you said what you said, and we all know it. What, are you living inside my head now? God forbid. No wonder sasha wants out. Okay, hey, you know what? If you are so miserable, you’re not being held hostage. Go. Should I ever want to leave deception, I will discuss it with the majority shareholder, my grandmother. As for sasha, you could hire 1,000 new and different faces of deception, but it won’t matter. Oh, really? And why is that? Because you’ll run every single one of them off, too. Is that true? Are you quitting because of me? I can get you on the elq jet, and I can send you to the grand keys. It’ll only take a couple phone calls to have a doctor meet you there who can oversee your recovery. Phone records, the flight plans, and money transfers — everything can be traced back to you. I’ll charter a jet. It’s too risky. For you, that’s a risk I’m willing to take. I appreciate that, but you know I can’t let you do it. Jason, I’m not gonna let you take off in the middle of the night by yourself. What happens to you matters to me, a lot. Okay, even if I made it to the grand keys, it would do no good. I told you, somebody has leverage over me. If I run, there’s gonna be consequences. Okay. What are you gonna do?

[ Sighs ] The only thing I can.


Chase: You are now official friends of the port charles police department. Everybody raise your right hand. Um, like this. Do you solemnly swear to uphold the law, to be kind, helpful, and respectful to other people in your family, school, and community? All right. I hereby elevate you to honorary deputy status. Be proud. This is awesome. Thank you! You’re welcome. Okay, kids, let’s go get your coats. Hey! Hey. They are so cute. Yeah, it’s definitely one of my more interesting tours. Well, watching you be completely adorable with a bunch of kids is exactly what I needed. I thought you were supposed to be at deception. I was, but I could no longer be kind and helpful and respectful, so I took a break and I came here. What happened? Same thing as always — lucy coe. What started out as a simple meeting turned into a mini disaster because of lucy. Ugh! If I strangle her, can I plead temporary insanity? You could plead however you want, but I’d still have to arrest you. So maybe hold off on a strangling, at least until after our wedding. You know, very few people get to you the way that lucy does. She has a unique gift. I’m worried about you. Are you sure it was the right thing going back to deception? No. Not anymore. I’m starting to think my plan to hand maxie back deception is just making everything worse all the way around. It’s not your fault that I’m leaving deception. You are not driving me out. Great. Great. Thank you. I know we can work something out because I do not want you to leave either. Thank you for saying that, lucy, but I’m not gonna change my mind. You know I never wanted to be a model. But then michael negotiated an amazing deal for me that included a stake in the company, and I couldn’t say no. I remember. He made that deal with me. And I was and I still am so grateful to you. But I’m not the same person that I was when I signed on. The things that I have lived through, things that I’ve lost, they changed me. And I m not sure what I want out of life, but I am sure that I do not want to stand in front of cameras getting my picture taken, or try to fit anyone’s concept of who I’m supposed to be or what I’m supposed to do. Okay. I-I guess if you feel that that is necessary to live your very best life… you know, um, I-I would just be, um, remiss, though, if I — if I-I didn’t remind you of a couple of the deal points that were in that contract that we all signed together. You know, your deception shares and your leadership position — if you resign, if you’re not our spokesmodel anymore, then you have to give up both of those.

[ Cellphone rings ] Excuse me. I need to take this. Sure. Michael, what can I do for you? It’s not michael. I’ve been expecting this call. What took you so long? The timing wasn’t right. Well, timing is everything. Tell me what you need.


I don’t know exactly how old we were, but I know we were at camp, okay? Mm. And so, um, dante, being mr. City kid, he had no idea which end milk the cow from.

[ Laughs ] In his defense, we didn’t really milk a lot of cows in bensonhurst. It didn’t matter, though, because in like three days, dante was — was almost like bear grylls. And that is a good thing? That’s a great thing. Okay. Bear grylls is this, like, outdoor british survival guy. Oh, oh. He could survive on air and bark if he needed to. That was dante. He was so smart. Like, he — he could adapt to the changes in altitude, time of day, uh, terrain better than anyone. He started racking up badges, like, right away. He got canoeing, uh, first aid, um, tracking.

[ Laughs ] Whatever happened to making lanyards and tying knots? Oh, no, no, no. We — we tied knots.

[ Laughs ] Actually, I practiced tying knots on dante. I tied him into a canoe and pushed him into the middle of the lake. Cody! Don’t — don’t worry. Don’t worry, mama Q. Uh, he pulled a full houdini. He got out and rowed himself back in like 15 minutes. And that only took so long ’cause he — he actually took a nap in the middle of the lake.

[ Laughs ] Yeah. Fact that my knots didn’t slow down actually almost cost me my badge. Oh, yeah, that’s him. He could always fall asleep anywhere. Mm-hmm. Well, listen, I know that when he wakes up this time, he’s gonna look at me with the same “look at me, dummy” smile that he had last time. I hope so. You know what, I should, uh… I should go. I should get myself back to the hospital. Thank you for cheering me up. Anytime. Thanks for lunch. Yeah. And, uh, cody… do me one favor. Anything. Don’t tell me any more stories about camp.

[ Laughs ] All right.

[ Laughs ] Haven’t you done enough? I am — I am just trying to be honest here, okay? I want sasha to know the consequences if she just walks out. I want her to understand, to be perfectly clear about what happens. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And you’ve already dug a hole for all of us, so why not make it deeper? Sasha, there is something else. Look, if you do resign and walk away from deception, you have to sell back your shares at market price. Fine. Just send me a check. No, no, no, it’s not buying. You see, they’re not worth what they used to be. The market price has gone way down. So if you could just wait, if you could wait till our marketing strategies work, you know, then maybe when you leave, you could end up with a big chunk of change, ’cause right now you’re gonna walk away with 30% of not much, which equals…not much. Well, gladys basically cleaned me out. So whatever I get, it will be more than I have now. And you can’t put a price on happiness.

[ Door closes ] What the hell is wrong with you? Maxie’s lucky to have you as a friend. What you’re doing is gonna change her life. Well, that was the idea, but now lucy’s over there having a tantrum that she can’t do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, that she’s the answer to tracy, and by extension me, and that she can’t — share her toy? Exactly. And look, the way things are going at this point, there might not even be a company to hand over to maxie, assuming I can pry it out of my grandmother’s hands, which was a long shot to begin with and is getting longer every day. You cannot control lucy’s actions. No one can, including lucy. But you come from a proud line of accomplished schemers, and you have emerged as one of the family’s best. You can handle lucy coe. You say the sweetest things. Ms. Miller, uh, do you have someone in lock-up today? Hello, detective chase. No. I am accompanying my client, who is surrendering voluntarily.


You know what? We still do have an ace in the hole — blaze! Remember, you were really excited about having her be the face of deception before tracy shot us down. And she still could. Yeah, but there’s so many more possibilities now with blaze, I don t think tracy can say no. I mean, think about it. Blaze is really a big deal now. She brings lots of fans and followers. Think about those folks she can bring to us. Yeah, you’re right. Blaze is a bigger deal. So she might not be interested or available. And even if she were interested, who’s her manager again? Oh, that’s right. Brook lynn! And somehow, by the magic of you being you, you’ve managed to get on brook lynn’s even more bad side. Come on, come on, come on. This is deception we’re talking about. You know, blaze will be interested and she will make herself available to us. Come on. It’s us. I can fix this, I swear to you. Please believe me. I will fix this.

[ Sighs ] Lucy, anything you do will be temporary because you are not a partner. You are a one-woman wrecking ball. You don’t consult with me. You just do whatever the hell you want, and to hell with everyone else. I mean, their lives don’t matter. Do you have any idea what it’s cost me to stick with you? Ugh. I can’t even look at you right now. Maxie, please — no! This is still my office. Please leave.

[ Knock on door ] Ah! I always knew the stables were the it place to be. What can I say? I like the regulars who hang out here.

[ Chuckles ] I, uh… I thought you’d still be at deception. I am done with deception. I walked, too. I-I wa– I wasn’t pushing you to do that. You didn’t think I was, did you? No. You think I would let you push me into doing anything I don’t want? Oh, relax. I did it for me. I have been feeling like I needed a change, but I, um, didn’t quite know what that would look like. It’s kinda dumb, I know. Not really. You know, it’s hard to see things clearly when you’re in the middle of them. Well, when you just walked like that, something clicked for me. I think it was so much harder leaving deception in my head than it actually was. Are you sure? I mean, you have history and friends there. They will still be my friends. But I am so tired of worrying about how I look all the time. If I wake up with troll-doll hair, I want to just go with it. Well, I’m not sure how that would happen, but I’d love to see it. You might regret saying that. Um, if I’m overstepping, just let me know, but, uh, are you gonna be okay, you know, financially? I know gladys didn’t help you out there. I am paid up for the rest of the month for my rent. And after that, I-I’ll think of something. I always do. And I am not above, shall we say, enhancing my résumé a little bit. Oh, okay. All right. Well, if you need a reference for your time spent as ceo of comet, incorporated, you tell them to give me a call. Okay? Count on it.

[ Both laugh ] So, did you always knowwhat you wanted to do with your life professionally? No. No, I never had any idea.

[ Laughs ] Um… you’d think that a guy who made a living getting tossed off of horses would have some kind of plan for the future. But, uh, no. There was never — never a time where I was like, “okay, this year, one more year, then it’s back to school and, uh, off to my real career as a brain surgeon/astronaut.” Hindsight, I probably should have been a little smarter. Mm, you don’t really mean that. Yeah, you’re right. I was never cut out for a suit-and-tie kinda job. And did it ever make you nervous that you didn’t know how you were gonna pay the rent the next month? Yeah. I mean, sometimes. But I was also free to, like, pick up any gig that seemed interesting or fun. That kind of freedom comes with a price. Anxiety? Sleepless nights? Sometimes. Yeah, that kinda life isn’t for everyone. I’m not even sure if it is for me anymore. That’s a change. I guess so. Yeah. I’m happy living here in port charles, working for the q’S. And because I stayed, you know, I have family and friends, horses. Really good friends. Yeah. And because of the money that I made standing around and smiling — horribly, apparently — I can afford to have some new dreams. Like serenity? That’s one of them. What’s the other? I am excited for the possibilities. I know there’s a truly fulfilling career out there, and I’m gonna find it. Yeah, you are. Tell you what — here is to your new career. “No groceries. Boathouse is empty.”

[ Sighs ] I hope you’re right about this, jason. Chase: You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights? Yes. Congratulations, detective, on your scrupulous recitation of my client’s miranda rights. And now, if you don’t mind, I need a moment to confer with him. I do mind. You can talk to him after he’s been booked. Detective, I can cite any number of cases where defendant’s needed to be released due to technicalities that occurred during the booking process, specifically, when the booking process was used as a stall to deny defendants counsel. Now, I’m sure that’s not your intention. But the easiest way to assure that the booking process goes smoothly at the proper time is to let me talk to him first. Fine. Right this way. Thank you, detective. Dante is lying in a bed, unconscious, and the guy who put them there looks just fine. Okay, looks — looks can be deceiving, though, right? It’s a good thing that jason came, and we need to hear what he has to say. Ah, he’s not gonna talk. He’s got diane for that. Ooh, I wish I could — I know, I know. But you have a bunch of honorary deputies out there, and they need you here doing your job, keeping them safe. I sure hope you know what you’re doing. You’re looking at some very serious charges. Two counts of attempted murder, one against a police officer with armor-piercing rounds. That alone carries a special-circumstance charge. I’ll try and get an arraignment for tomorrow. Thank you, diane. I haven’t said it already, it’s very, very good to see you again. I just wish it were under better circumstances. Yeah, me too. Any chance you’re gonna actually tell me what all of this is about? I can tell you this. I won’t be in here for long.

On the next “General Hospital” —

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