GH Transcript Tuesday, May 16, 2023

General Hospital Transcript


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Transcript provided by Suzanne


[Baby crying]


Sasha? Are you all right?

Well, you haven’t been in front of the cameras for quite a while. Looks like someone’s got a little bit of the jitters.

[Baby crying]

Crank the baby crying in sasha’s headset up to eight.

Got it.

[Dramatic music]

Come on, sasha. Hang in there. Hang in there.

Sasha, you don’t look so good.

What was I thinking? What do you mean?

Look, I get why you want to go on the rescue mission.

Oh, good, because as far as motives go, stopping a genocidal maniac is self-explanatory to me.

It’s one thing to go up against victor. It’s another thing to take on a virus which has an 80% kill rate.

I know. But there are worse odds. And you and I have faced those.

Were you thinking about your daughter? Were you thinking about noah? Were you thinking about emma? How about even me? I mean, you’re gonna run off and die with this guy. Shouldn’t you be putting your family first?

Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that i have prioritized anyone or anything above my family. Don’t do that. You would have done the exact same thing.

We’re not talking about me.

Ok, but you know that I’m right. You would do anything. You would risk everything for the woman that you love.

First I got to choose the woman.

Sorry I’m late. Really I am. I have work, and I can tell you all about it, but I know you don’t want to hear about it. What’s the occasion?

I know I did the right thing, but I need you to tell me that I did the right thing and I didn’t make A…

there she is.

Fool out of myself.

I’m so lookingforward to a drink.


You want to tell me what’s going on?

Not really.

Where’s your handsome husband? I thought he was joining us.

He was, right up until he got called into the station on a case.

Ugh, that’s the trouble with law enforcement. Always on duty. He should become a criminal. They have very flexible schedules. Apparently.

Oh, well, I’ll suggest it when he retires.

Much though I’d like to celebrate with mac, I’m actually quite pleased that it’s just you and me. A girls’ night.

Yeah, honestly, me too. Now, I know what you’ve been up to, but what’s next? Are you back in port charles for good?

Uh, that’s the idea, if I’m wanted.

How am I supposed to get that much money together so quickly? It’s impossible.

There might be another way for you to repay your debt.

Venmo? Crypto? I mean, will you take a check? I can write you a check.

No. Let’s step away, shall we, and talk about this somewhere more private.

[Tense music]

[Knock at door]

Come in. Thanks for coming.

Thank yo u for calling meand asking me. We were interrupted at the hospital, and there’s still so much more I have to say.

I’m listening.

[Dramatic music]

No. No, thank you.

Ok. Well?

Well, like I was telling you at the hospital, I’ve been doing some soul searching, carly. And I realized that I have been acting from a place of fear and that fear has led me to make some poor decisions. I hurt people, most of all willow. And in that fear and jealousy, I blamed you for the distance between me and willow, and that was wrong. But I think it’s easier for me to hate you than accept the consequences of my own actions. I know it’s late. I understand that now. I’m so sorry.

Is that it?

I don’t have the money now, but I can get it.

Who’s that, your steno?

I was under the impression that you’re sasha’s guardian.

That’s true.

And as her guardian, you have complete control over sasha’s finances.

Right, but it’s a lot of money to move all at once. Sasha might have questions. But I suppose it’s not impossible. I just need to be subtle about it.

I understand your quandary. Availing yourself of sasha’s money to pay off your growing debts could put you in an awkward position, with sasha certainly, but legally as well. But like I said, there are other ways for you to make good. After all, money isn’t everything.

[Baby crying]

There’s a problem, I think, with my earpiece.

A problem? What kind of problem? I don’t hear anything in mine. What are you hearing, exactly?

Something is up with sasha.

Ok, maybe maxie pushed her too soon into this. You know, really, maybe she’s not ready.

No, that’s not it. Look, something’s wrong with her earpiece.

The deceptor is a portable home spa device for the woman on the go.

Louder, I want that baby wailing in her ear.


You know what, forget the wailing. Just cut the sound, or I’m gonna start streaking.

You what?

Cut the sound now, or I’m gonna start streaking. By the way, it’s huge, the fcc fine, so cut the sound now.

[Dramatic music]

It’s easy to use and–

and just look at deceptor’s design. I mean, so much thought went into that.

Now, flora, I’m sure our viewers would really rather hear all about it from the face of deception herself. Go ahead, sasha. All eyes are on you.

What do you mean by that? Choose the woman?

You’re tired. It’s late. And I’ve kind of overstayed my welcome.

Well, you did that when you rang the bell. You can’t– this is so typical of you. You come barging in here, pick a fight with me just because you have something else on your mind. So what is it?

Holly has indicated that she wants to have a relationship with me.

Ok. Good. I know you care about her. What’s the problem?

The problem is… another woman.

Does this mean ethan’s safe?

Not really. But australia is familiar territory. He has to replenish his funds if he is going to–

pay back the people he stole from.

Make restitution.

Oh, is that what they’re calling it these days?

It’s not entirely his fault. He’s young. And both his parents have been known on occasion to avail themselves of things that aren’t necessarily theirs.

Case in point.

I may have given robert a slight ultimatum.

How slight?

I told him not to call me until he had decided between holly and me.

Shall we relocate?


I just thought this might be a little awkward.

Well, it’s only awkward if we make it so. And actually,if robert’s fond of diane, then I should take advantage of this opportunity to get to know her a little bit.

It’s early days for robert and me, but I’m not going to waste my time if he is in love with holly.

May we join you?

Hi. Yes.

First of all, haven, flora, and especially the viewers at home, I am so sorry. My earpiece was making this horrible noise. You want to know what it sounded like, haven? You know what, it’s not important. Once again, viewers, thank you so much for staying tuned in. I promise you will not be disappointed.

Well, don’t keep us in suspense, sasha. Tell us all about the deceptor.

The deceptor is a revolutionary new product. It’s the home spa device for the woman on the go.

Ooh. And how does it work? I’m dying to know. Right, haven?

Right, right.

It’s really simple. Would you like to be my model, flora?

Oh, I would love to.

I think you’re going to love the results.

[Soft music]

Of course, join us.

Actually, alexis, would you and felicia mind if I had a moment alone with ms. Sutton?

No, not at all.

Why don’t we order the second round?

Great idea. You know what I like.


I have everything I need right here.

Well, all right. Ok. You can have my seat. Help yourself.

You think they need a referee?

Ms. Sutton–

please, holly.

Holly, of course. Now, you and I don’t know each other very well, but you strike me as a woman who is direct and to the point.

Guilty as charged.

So let’s lay our cards on the table, shall we?

They’re both brilliant, funny, amusing. While holly is electrifying, diane, well, there’s an ease about her. I can talk shop. Hell, I can talk anything.

And there’s little to no chance that you’d have to prosecute her in the next few months, whereas holly–

yeah. Well, you said that, not me.

Just ’cause you’re thinking it.

Mm. Yeah, well, I– what should I do here?

I don’t know. Maybe witness protection or something.

Come on. You’re being picky.

I don’t know what you want me to say. I mean, you’ve always managed to make your own decisions in the past.

Yeah, but this one’s kind of got me a bit twisted.

[Soft music] Diane has stated in no uncertain terms she will not compete for my attention.

Good for her.

And holly–

yes, I’m sure that she has no problem with competition.

[Sighs] Every time I see her face, it’s like I’m– like I’m home. Diane, she challenges me.

And holly doesn’t?

Well, yeah, she does, but it’s– it’s like, well–look, I come to you because you’re always honest with me, sometimes when I don’t want you to be. But what do I do here?

Well, that’s all we have time for tonight, so I would like to thank my special guests, flora gardens–

oh, always a pleasure, haven.

And the face of deception herself, sasha gilmore. So until next time, happy homes and warm hearts.

[Upbeat music]

And we’re out.

Well, that went great, sasha.

It did. I’m sorry to disappoint you. You’ll be hearing from my lawyers. I did it!

You sure did. You were amazing.

You did do it. You did do it. You did do it. You were so amazing, really. But you got to tell us what happened at the beginning of the segment.

Someone was piping a sound effect into my earpiece, a crying baby.

Oh, they did not. No, no.

I knew you did something to that poor girl’s earpiece, but a crying baby?

I did no such thing.

Oh, don’t you lie to my face, haven. Of all the rotten, lowdown, despicable things to do to a woman who lost a baby. I mean I thought the tweets were bad enough, but, I mean, to try to push poor sasha over the edge on live tv–

there was obviously a screw-up. I will find the culprit.

Oh. I think we’re looking at the culprit. And you know what else I think? Maybe I don’t want to be the number one seller on a show where these kind of mistakes happen. I quit!

Flora, wait. Those baby sneakers are not going to sell themselves.

Look, I’m ok. Yes, I had a second when I thought history was repeating itself, I was imagining it.

It’s horrible. It must have been terrifying.

It was. But then I can’t explain it, but I knew that the sound coming through my earpiece was real. It wasn’t a hallucination. It wasn’t liam. I knew that I was being manipulated and that I could keep going.

Ms. Gilmore, I’m really sorry. There’s just one more caller, and they are insisting on talking to you about the deceptor. Can we patch her through?

Oh, wow, wow, wow. You know, you must be as morally bankrupt and deranged as your boss to think that sasha would trust you, or this show, or anybody here anymore.

Lucy, it’s ok. I can handle it. Patch it through.

Hey. No stunts. Do you hear me? No, ok.

It’s not a stunt.

You swear no stunts?

Yes, yes. Ok. Yeah. Ok. You’re live.

This is sasha.

– Sasha?

Sasha gilmore?

It’s me. What can I do for you?

– You’re back. I’d heard your baby had died and then your husband died. Such a tragedy for a young person like yourself.

Yes. It was a tragedy. But thanks to the support of my family and friends, I am doing much better.

– Isn’t that a miracle?

It is. And you know what else is a miracle? A new device we call the deceptor.

I know better than to think that you would accept my apology.

If you were me, would you accept your apology?

You know what I would do, carly? I would at least acknowledge it.

You want acknowledgment, a blue ribbon for self-awareness? You talk about what you want from willow, but you don’t talk about what you want for willow. Now, me, I want willow to be safe, happy, and healthy. Can you say the same?

and willow pulls through, I want my daughter to have a happy, long, healthy life. That’s all I want, and… even if I’m not part of it.

I almost believe you.

But if there is a way that I can be part of it, if there’s a way that I can repair our relationship, I’m just telling you that i am willing to do anything.

Nina, you just don’t get it, do you? You just don’t get it.

Get what?

The more you push, the more you drive people away. And what do you mean, repair your relationship? What relationship? What is there to repair?

You’re right. When I first met willow, when she was charlotte’s teacher, I made her life miserable, I did. And I should not have done that, even if she wasn’t my daughter. But when I found out that she was mine, I tried and I’m trying to heal our relationship. But of course, that’s after I scorched the earth ten times over. And we all know that. And that’s why…

[Soft music] In hindsight, I’m relieved that she had you, carly, because willow needed a mother, and I couldn’t be that for her.

But you could. And you did. And for that, I am truly thankful.

You don’t waste any time. I like that.

Who wants to go first?

May I?


I apologize for kissing robert in his office. Obviously, we had no idea you were there.

And by that, I shall infer that you know. All right. Robert and I had been on exactly one date. And I don’t ask for exclusivity until well into the second. As such, my relationship with robert, whatever it may be, is still in the nascent stage, so there’s no apology necessary.

Well, still, it wasn’t appropriate.

Well, that’s between you and robert. Here’s where I stand on things. And I have told this to robert as well. I will not compete with another woman for a man’s attention.

Fair enough. And you should know that i have strong feelings for robert.

And you have told robert of these feelings?

Why hold back? I mean, robert and I have been dancing around each other for 30 years.

And you believethat robert has these feelings for you as well. That’s what you’re trying to say, isn’t it?

Robert and holly are two of my oldest friends. I just want what’s best for them.

Yeah, I want what’s best for diane.

Of course you do, but you know, with holly, she knows what she wants or what’s next.

You sound like you don’T. That doesn’t sound like you.

Well, I’m not exactly lost and aimless.

Oh, I am. Trust me. It’s not fun.

Well, actually, I’m looking for a new project, something I can get excited about, kind of like with you and “the invader.” I mean, you’re on a mission to serve the community and make real positive change.

That was the plan from the start.

Not now?

Well, it’s still the plan. It’ll always be the plan. If I’m going to be perfectly honest with you, “the invader” actually isn’t what I wanted it to be.

You were just amazing. You know, you seized the day. You beat them at their own game. I’m so, so, so happy.

Good news, ladies. The deceptor is flying off the shelves.

Of course it is because it’s a wonderful product. But also, you know, pain sells. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Listen, you wimpy little weasel, you and haven, and “home and heart,” you’re going to make this right. You hear me? You are going to make this right!

Well, well, well, cody bell. What are you, a big fan of the “home and heart” shopping channel?

How else could I add to my porcelain cat collection?

You didn’t see those inflammatory tweets that the show had people post?

I do not understand. What are these tweets you speak of?

I saw you talking to that pa. You got her to stop that sound effect.

If you say so.

Right. Well, anyway, we’re gonna go celebrate at the savoy. You in?

I want to pull out haven’s hair. If I had any idea this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have put you through it ever. But you did…

I got a thing. Next time.

Your loss.

But hey, make sure sasha has fun. She deserves it.

[Soft music]

You have options. There are things I value more than money.

Such as?

Assets, of which you have many.

Not really. I mean, I guess I could finally unload my house back in bridgeport.

I’m referring to your connections.

Connections? You think I have connections?

Don’t sell yourself short. You may hold knowledge of certain business dealings, certain arrangements that could prove useful to me and my organization.

Business dealings? Oh, you want the skinny on what goes on at deception because I can– wait. Are you talking about my cousin sonny?

I can’t tell you what to do.

Well, tell me what not to do. That’s the next best thing.

Um, I don’t know. I mean a new person is always very exciting, whereas an old love is kind of comforting.

Holly and I certainly know each other inside and out.

Yes, you do.

On the other hand, diane takes the law very seriously, and you do also.

And holly looks upon it at best a challenge, at worse an obstacle.

It’s very exciting though, isn’t it?

I’m back to square one.

Ok. I mean, I can totally understand why you don’t know how to make this decision because you never thought that you would ever be in a position like this, right?

No, I didn’T. But for what it’s worth, I’m not surprised. You’re quite the catch. You do have your moments, you know, rare as they are.

Oh, I got to go. I got–

are they just quite–

tell what’s-his-face goodbye.

You mean good night.

Yeah, that too.


[Soft music]

I thought he’d never leave.

My god.

Robert and I fell in love decades ago. And those feelings never went away, certainly not for me, and I don’t think for robert either. But to answer your question, in typical robert scorpio fashion, he has neither confirmed nor denied.

Well, good to know that’s his mo.

Exactly. And I wanted you to know this because– and I realize this is going to sound patronizing.

But you’re gonna say it anyway.

I don’t want you to get hurt.

[Laughs] Well, thank you for your concern, but, really, I’ll be fine. As I said to robert, I have no intention on going to war over a man, especially one who, at this stage, is still just a friend.

And you should remain friends. I would be completely comfortable with that.

Would you? Well, that’s good to know. That’s very generous. So let’s say I bow out, and you and robert pick up right where you left off.

The ideal situation for me.

Yes. So here’s what i don’t understand. What makes you so confident that your relationship will work out this time?

The news that I want to report is just a fraction of the news that needs to be reported. And there’s administrative and economic issues. Well, “t he invader” may not beexactly what you envisioned when you started there, but I mean, it’s become a respected publication. And that’s because of your leadership.

Thank you. I really do appreciate that perspective.

Am I wrong?

I think you’re very kind. I spend most of my time finding advertisers, managing investors, managing staff. And to be perfectly honest, it’s a little disappointing that my dream for “the invader” just really hasn’t entirely come true.

Yet. But if anybody can make it happen, alexis, it’s you.

N’neka, your best bubbly, ok? We’re celebrating.

Ok, I promise. I promise you I was very, very polite when I cornered the “home and heart” producer. I just said russell, russell, russell, I mean, intentional infliction of emotional distress, et cetera, et cetera, lawsuit, lawsuit. Guess what. We ended up with five more spots for deception– primetime.

That’s amazing, lucy.

Of course, comes with one condition, mine, not theirs.

Ok. What is it?

I want you to be deceptor’s spokeswoman.

Ok. I’ll help with willow.

Oh, my god. Thank you so much. That’s more than I even dared to hope. Of course, we don’t want to do anything to make willow feel uncomfortable, right? So I was thinking that maybe you could set up a phone call.


Then if that goes well, carly, we could maybe–

ok, stop, please. I want to be really clear here. I will help you with willow by supporting whatever decision she makes for her family. If she decides to let you in, I promise you I will not stand in the way. But if willow decides she wants nothing to do with you, I won’t advocate for you.

[Soft music]

I should have known that you weren’t going to help.

I don’t know anything about sonny’s business.

But you’re close.

No, not really. Sonny doesn’t like me that much.

Even so, you might know more about his business than you realize.

I’m telling you I don’T. Trust me. That’s asking for trouble that neither of us wants.

I don’t understand why you seem so bothered by the suggestion. After all, it’s one way for you to settle your ever-increasing debt.

I can get the money. I just need a few more days.

You have until tomorrow. Noon.

That’s not enough time.

I grow tired of making allowances for someone who won’t take a gift when offered.

Oh, listen. I am so thankful for your patience. Really.

Perhaps I’ve been too patient. Noon tomorrow. And if you can’t pay, perhaps sasha will.

[Tense music]

Thank you both for being so supportive.

Never doubted you for a second.

I did. I mean–sorry. If I’m being honest, I did actually have some doubts. I was fearing the worst, but then–I don’t know. You just pulled it together, and you became this magnificent creature that I knew you could be.

Well, thank you regardless. Honestly. I don’t know what I would have done if you two weren’t there.

Well, that’s very nice of you to say, but I think you would have made it. I mean, even when you got distracted, you weren’t falling apart.

Mm-mm, you got right back on your feet, and you just did it. There was no stopping you.

Right. I mean, you kept your focus. You kept the segment going. And you really stuck that landing like a boss.

You know what, you’re right. I feel more like myself than I have in a really long time.

Ok, that’s good, really. Just don’t rush it too much. I mean, if you want to, then you know me, I say go for it, pedal to the metal. But just pace yourself.

Maybe it’s the rush talking, but now I’m wondering, maybe it’s time that I get back in the driver’s seat. What do you think, brook lynn?

I think you know when you know. But from where I’m standing, absolutely.

Ah, yummy. Perfect timing. Please, ladies.

Oh, my god. It can’t be that late. I told maxie that I was going to stop by her place and bring her some soup. Anyway, thank you so much for the chat. I mean, you’ve really given me a lot to think about.

Same here.

I cannot believe that I came here groveling and begging for your forgiveness and help. I never should have listened to drew.

Drew? What the hell did drew say?

He said that I should come here and acknowledge my mistakes and be honest. But you, carly, you don’t listen.

Nina, no one can save your relationship with willow but you.

But I’m standing here asking you how.

Then stop. Stop. Stop pushing through every boundary that willow sets a million miles an hour and have some patience, patience for a young girl battling cancer. I mean, all you do is put your needs ahead of willow’s time and time again.

You’re such a hypocrite.

Maybe I am. But maybe I’m not. But we both know right now I’m right. I’m right about you. And I’m right about willow. You want to be her mother, you’re going to have to do it on her terms.

That is an annoyingly good question.

I know.

Ok, so the reason that things between me and robert are going to work out this time is that, this time, there are no obstacles.

What about the fact that he’s a district attorney and you lead, shall we say, a very colorful life?

So there’s one obstacle.

Doesn’t it concern you that,despite the rich tapestry that is your history with robert, at present, the two of you currently reside in completely different worlds?

I’m not going to apologize for the way I live my life.

No one’s asking you to apologize, holly. Quite the contrary. I think you should write a book about your escapades. But has the universe really been working overtime to keep you and robert apart, or is it more likely that things have not worked out because they can’t and probably never will?

Deceptor sales are off the charts.

Oh, even without a total meltdown. Well done, us.

Oh, my god. Haven de havilland.

This is a closed set.

No, I know. I almost just ran across it during the broadcast, naked.

Oh, you did what?


That’s how i got your pa to cut off that cute sound effect you were using to gaslight sasha.

Ok, show’s over pal, so why don’t you move–

you know how many bones are in this hand? You want to find out?

What do you want?

Nothing. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever threaten my friend sasha again with a stunt like that, your sales figures will be the least of your problems.

[Tense music]

Honey, are you threatening me?

Why yes, ma’am, I am. And you don’t want to see me make good on any of my threats.

N’neka. Is ms. Wu still in the club?

She is. Do you want me to tell her you’re looking for her?

No, no. Thank you.

It’s been a really long time since I allowed myself to trust my instincts. Now that’s all going to change. I think it’s time to let gladys off the hook and end the guardianship. I’m ready to take the reins again.

Hear, hear.

[Glass clink]

I’ll give you this much, carly. You didn’t drive the wedge between me and willow. But once you saw it was there, you didn’t hesitate to take advantage.

If by take advantage, you mean care for the young woman who my son is in love with, the young woman that you abused relentlessly, yeah, ok, I took advantage of her.

And to think I felt guilty about–

guilty about what?

About blaming you forthe estrangement from willow when it’s clear that you will do everything in your power to keep us apart.

Nina, you can lash out at me all you want. It doesn’t make what I said any less true.

Good luck with the sec, carly.

[Tense music]

I don’t think I’ve spoken out of turn, have I?

Not at all. I appreciate your frankness.

Well, then what’s left to say except, you’re welcome? And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to call it a night.

Not on my account.

Oh, no, no, no. I have to be in court tomorrow morning. Who knows, maybe one day I will get to defend you.

I would trust my freedom to no one else.

Nor should you.

How’d it go?

Not half bad. I actually think I kind of like her.

Oh, that’s nice. Why don’t you sleep on it? See how you feel in the morning.

Listen, I’m not too proud to admit that holly sutton has some very interesting qualities. I almost feel sorry for robert having to decide between us.



So what did he want?

He’s having a really hard time making a decision. And he wanted me to make it for him.

Did you?

No. I didn’t, not this time.

We ll, while you were solvingyour ex’s life problems, your current, which is me.

Oh, yes. I remember him.

Was putting the finishing touches on dinner. And not to brag–

as if.

But it’s the greatest amatriciana ever made. Even I’m impressed.

[Gasps] And you’re not one to be impressed.

Are you hungry?

I could eat.

[Soft music]

Ms. Sutton. I’m so glad to see youback in port charles.

I’m glad to be back, especially since there was a moment where I didn’t think I’d be back here, or anywhere else for that matter, ever again.

Since you’re here safe and sound, I wonder if you’d be open to doing a little more business. Our last venture proved fruitful to us both, did it not?

It certainly did.

On the next “General Hospital” —

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