Young & The Restless Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
Diane: I am warning you, phyllis. Back off.
Phyllis: You’re warning me? Really? Diane, this is one of those teachable moments. Really, it’s teachable. I mean, “back off.” It doesn’t really have a lot of heat. “Back off or…” is really a threat. So you want to try it again?
Diane: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Back off!
Jack: Diane. I can hear you all the way down the hall. What is going on here?
Phyllis: Diane seems to be reconnecting with her authentic self.
Diane: No, I’m sorry, jack. I just — things got a little heated, and —
Jack: Well, try to cool things down, would you? Kyle and summer just laid down the law. They made very clear boundaries about this kind of thing. If they’d walked in on this instead of me, you two would be out of a job right now.
Tessa: [ Sighs ] Do you really think I can get all of this done by tonight?
Mariah: Oh, yeah, I have no doubt. We’re going to finalize everything when I see noah later.
Mariah: [ Chuckles ]
Summer: Hate it. Sad. Help me.
Kyle: These are, um —
Summer: Don’t even say it.
Kyle: What are we going to do?
Tessa: Uh, this was not part of the plan.
Mariah: It’s okay. It’s fine, alright?
Tessa: This could ruin everything.
Mariah: We’re just going to go in there, you’re going to smile that gorgeous smile, pretend like it’s any other day. We’re just here getting coffee. No one’s going to suspect a thing, alright?
Traci: [ Gasps ] Oh. Oh. [ Chuckling ] Allie. Oh, my god. What are you doing here?
[ Both chuckle ]
Allie: Terrifying you, apparently.
Traci: No, no, no, no. I’m fine. I mean, my tablet is still dry, and my tea is still wet, so I’m good, but what about you?
Allie: I’m doing okay. Why do you ask?
Traci: Well, because I’m used to having this couple of hours to myself in here. You know, I can spread out and I can work and I can procrastinate to my heart’s content because all of you are at jabot.
Allie: Working on anything interesting?
Traci: Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. It is about this brilliant scientist who loves being in the laboratory until one afternoon she’s home instead of at work.
Allie: Everything’s fine, traci.
Traci: [ Chuckles ] Well, honey, I know that it must be grueling doing an internship. I know that, you know, you have to do all this grunt work, and you don’t get very much, I don’t know, recognition or credit for what you do.
Allie: You know, actually, ashley is making sure I get plenty of special projects and recognition. I love it there.
Traci: Okay, um… even with phyllis and diane there, too? I mean, I know they’re in a different division than you are, but you’re all still in the same building.
Allie: I try to keep my head down and just do the best job that I can.
Traci: Well, that must be difficult, especially with a couple of chaos junkies like phyllis and diane, I know…
Allie: Oh, traci, stop.
Traci: …Dragging you into their cage matches.
Allie: Yes, it’s true.
Traci: And that’s me being nice. They are like a chemical reaction.
Allie: With two highly combustible compounds?
Traci: [ Chuckles ] Yeah. They’re a handful on a good day, but put them together, something is bound to explode.
Diane: I hope you’ll accept my apology for my outburst. Excuse me.
Jack: Phyllis —
Phyllis: I didn’t do anything, jack. I was just — I was just doing my job.
Jack: I can see it’s killing you not to gloat. I won’t keep you from your glee any longer. Just be happy that summer and kyle didn’t see this.
Phyllis: [ Sighs ]
Jack: You’re not off the hook, by the way.
Allie: Yes, diane and phyllis, they are a handful.
[ Both chuckle ] But they have actually not been a problem for me.
Traci: I am so glad to hear that.
Allie: Yeah, they have given me a wide berth ever since i stood up to them and made clear that I am nobody’s pawn.
Traci: Well, good. It is really important that you set boundaries. Good for you.
Allie: Thank you.
Traci: And you are lucky that they don’t work in the lab.
[ Both chuckle ]
Allie: You know, if I time my days just right, I don’t have to run into either of them.
[ Both laugh ] But I do love it there. Ah. With chemicals, you know, you know exactly what they’ll do in a given situation.
Traci: Yeah, they’re a lot easier to predict than most people, aren’t they? Ashley used to always find it so peaceful to work in the lab.
Allie: It really is. And, my gosh, ashley, she is such a legend. I mean, the things that she’s been able to accomplish. And working at the place where my dad found so much joy at, it’S… oh, it’s — it’s [Chuckles] More than I could have dreamed of.
Traci: Alright, I’m just going to have to come out and ask you.
Traci: If you are loving the laboratory life so much, why aren’t you there instead of here today?
[ Both chuckle ]
Allie: Things and reasons I just — I just can’t tell you about, not just yet, traci.
Mariah: Come on. Just be nonchalant.
Tessa: I can’t be nonchalant when they’re literally ripping apart photos of me from the marchetti photo shoot. I am so chalant right now.
Mariah: It’s going to be fine.
Mariah: Hi, guys.
Tessa: So was my modeling photo shoot just, like, a total waste of time? I know it took me a while to warm up, but I thought I finally got the hang of it.
Kyle: What is she talking about?
Tessa: Well, I saw you looking at the photos and things you were saying.
Kyle: Oh! Oh, no. No, no, no.
[ Both chuckle ] We’re not looking at the marchetti photo shoot.
Summer: Which was fantastic, by the way. But also problematic in another way. I could not choose which photos to use for the layout. They were all so good.
Tessa: You really mean that?
Mariah: She wouldn’t believe me. They loved you. They’re calling you marchetti’s brightest star.
Tessa: Oh, stop. Seriously.
Mariah: See? I told you she wouldn’t believe me.
Tessa: She’s biased.
Mariah: Okay, well, maybe the two of you can talk some sense into her.
Summer: Tessa, your smile alone could sell a million dresses.
Tessa: Thank you so much for saying that and for your support. I mean, you guys know I’ve never done anything like this before, and I didn’t want to let you down.
Summer: You could never.
Mariah: So what were you guys looking at that was so disappointing?
Kyle: We were looking at different concepts for our vow renewal.
Mariah: What? Oh, my god. You’re doing what now?
Summer: We are getting married again — in town, this time, in front of all of our family and friends.
Mariah: Wow. [ Chuckles ]
Tessa: Aww, what a sweet and romantic idea. I love it.
Kyle: But we are having a difficult time trying to find the perfect theme.
Summer: You know what i think? I think we should step back and let it come to us.
Kyle: That’s a great idea.
Summer: Let’s turn our attention to our gorgeous model. Tessa, you killed it.
Tessa: Aww, thank you so much. But, I mean, I couldn’t have done it without you. I mean, your idea for the brand? I mean, you’re making it more fabulous than it already was.
Kyle: Our wives are a mutual admiration society. Who could have predicted it?
[ Laughter ]
Mariah: Alright, I want to see these ideas.
Summer: Oh, yeah, it’s not…
Diane: [ Sighs ]
[ Sniffles ]
[ Sighs ] Whatever it is you tracked me down to say, it’s, uh — it’s not necessary. I am — I am already beating myself up for what you overheard. I — I really screwed up, jack.
[ Sighs ]
Jack: I’m not going to disagree with you.
Diane: I’ve just — I’ve just been hiding my feelings inside and just stuffing them down for so long, and then today just really pushed me. I mean, first I had this uncomfortable, borderline threatening conversation with victor, and then, you know, yet another run-in with phyllis. I’m not — I’m not — I’m not trying to make excuses. I’m just trying to explain.
[ Sniffles ] And for all I know, you know, it cost me a job with my son, a chance to be closer to him.
[ Sniffles, sighs ] I just hate it when I let people like victor and phyllis get to me. But what I hate most of all is that I brought this on myself.
[ Sighs ]
[ Sniffles ]
Jack: Wait, wait, wait. Who are you calling now?
Diane: [ Sighs ] Kyle. He deserves to know the truth. No matter who you are,
[ Indistinct conversation ]
Mariah: Hey, noah.
Tessa: Hi. Hi.
Kyle: Good to see you, man.
Noah: Yeah, is this a private conversation, or can anyone jump in?
Summer: No, we were just talking about tessa’s photo shoot the other day.
Noah: Oh, are you saying it was a hit because of all the practice we got making the album cover?
Tessa: Yeah, something like that.
Kyle: And celebrating our impending wedding redo.
Noah: What? You guys are getting married again?
Summer: We are — here this time so that everyone can come and see what true love looks like.
Noah: Ah. Sounds cool. Maybe I’ll be there.
Summer: Maybe you’ll be invited.
Noah: No, seriously, though. Congratulations, you two. I’m happy for you.
Kyle: Hey, thanks.
Summer: Will you be bringing anyone? Like, say, allie perhaps?
Noah: Yeah. Yeah, about that, I actually want to talk to you two about that if you have time.
Mariah: Uh, yeah, of course. We can do that now.
Mariah: Okay. Sorry to run off like this, guys, but see you later.
Tessa: Well, good luck with the planning and everything.
Summer: That was weird.
Summer: I mean, any relationship advice I could give is just as valuable as mariah’S. I mean, are we not as blissfully happy as there are?
Kyle: We left bliss in the rearview. We are on our way to “no one’s ever been this happy” level of happy.
Summer: Yeah. So why them and not us?
Kyle: Maybe he knows we need to focus on the details of our vow renewal. Come on what about this one?
Allie: Traci, I promise I am not doing anything wrong.
Traci: Oh, that’s a relief.
Allie: And — and I did not call in sick. I’m very careful about getting my hours in at jabot.
Traci: I’m sure that you’re going above and beyond, but let’s see. This mystery of yours has got my curiosity piqued. We’ve got a scientist who isn’t at the lab assigned to keep her auntie in the dark. I don’t know. I think I’m going to need more. How much longer am I going to have to wait? I need spoilers.
Allie: And I wish I can tell you, but unfortunately, this just isn’t my secret to tell.
Traci: Okay, whose secret is it?
Allie: Noah will be here soon, and I am sure we’ll both find out more.
Traci: Noah? Now, that is interesting.
Allie: Wait, wait. What’s so interesting about noah? The way you’re saying that is making me a little nervous.
Traci: Oh, no, no. I’m just so delighted things are going so well for you, honey, both at the office and outside of work. I knew you would find your way.
Allie: Well, I couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t gotten some sage advice.
Traci: From your favorite auntie, I suppose.
Allie: Oh, yes. She told me that I, uh — I needed to give myself permission to be happy. And I have. So thank you again, traci, for more than just the advice. It feels really great to have family again.
Diane: I mean, how do I even begin to tell my son what an idiot I was? Having a fight with phyllis in the office when I knew better? I just — I just hope he can forgive me.
Jack: Before you make that call, you should know I have no intention of telling kyle about this run-in with phyllis.
Diane: Why would you protect me?
Jack: I’m not protecting you. I’m protecting myself. Look, this is between kyle and summer and phyllis and you. I can’t be the one to instigate issues at marchetti.
Diane: Well, I respect that, and I — I also feel terrible that you had to witness my meltdown.
Jack: Well, you were certainly pretty careless about anyone and everyone who works with you hearing you.
Diane: Yeah, so you’re not the only one. Another reason that I should come clean.
Jack: Okay, I don’t think anyone was nearby.
Diane: [ Sighs ] It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. I mean, even if you carried the secret of my fight with phyllis to the grave, I would know, and that lie of omission would impact my interactions with my son. That’s why I have to be honest with kyle. It’s the only way our relationship can work. So I am… I’m going to tell him how horribly I behaved, and then, um, he can decide how to deal with it.
Kyle: None of these options are speaking to me.
Summer: Maybe we’re not listening hard enough.
Kyle: Oh, really?
Summer: Yeah, sometimes you have to lean in. Shh.
Kyle: What’s the muse saying?
Summer: We need more choices. Mom, hi. Is everything alright?
Phyllis: Something has happened.
[ Cellphone rings ]
Kyle: It’s my mom. Girls trip.
Allie: I wonder what’s keeping noah.
[ Knock on door ]
Traci: Oh, I think we’re about to find out.
[ Chuckles ]
Mariah: Hi, allie.
Allie: Hi, mariah. Hey, tessa.
Noah: Hey, babe. Alright, I am sorry that we’re late. I can explain everything. I ran into the two people who could’ve —
Traci: [ Clears throat ] Hi.
Noah: Traci, hi. Uh, what does she know?
Allie: Uh, I hinted something was up, but I wasn’t sure how much to tell.
Traci: Okay, so whatever you’re planning, I’ll leave you to it.
Noah: No, no, no. Stay. I’m actually really glad you’re here, and I hope that your evening is free.
Traci: I have nothing on the calendar.
Tessa: Because we planned a surprise.
Mariah: For summer and kyle.
Noah: And we can really use your help.
Traci: [ Chuckles ]
Diane: [ Scoffs ]
Jack: Phyllis, I didn’t know you would be here, as well. I —
Diane: Seriously? I assume you wasted no time in sharing with them what happened earlier.
Phyllis: Oh, well, I felt they had the right to know.
Diane: Yeah, I’m glad you told them, because honesty is so important. That’s why I told kyle and summer to meet me here so that I could own up to what happened.
Phyllis: Well, I mean, you’re just saying that because you were caught.
Diane: [ Sighs ]
Kyle: Is that true, mom?
Jack: I was with her before the phone call. She is very remorseful.
Diane: Thank you, jack, but what I did was indefensible. My behavior was completely out of line, and I — I am truly sorry. After sharing my commitment to family harmony and assuring you both that my priorities were in the right place, I lost my temper. It was unprofessional, it was uncalled for, and I am truly sorry.
Phyllis: Wow. Is this where I applaud? I mean, because this performance is truly remarkable.
Diane: I’m not going to make some last-ditch plea to try and save my job. You know, a job that I have grown to love because working with you two has been a dream. But you made it painfully clear that there would be zero tolerance for this kind of thing, so I am going to save both of you the discomfort and officially resign.
Traci: Okay, I love a good mystery just like the next person, but I’m going to need a little bit more information before I sign on to this plan of yours.
Allie: Well, I promise noah’s idea is exciting and fun.
Noah: Even if it is coming together at the last minute.
Mariah: Tonight was the only night that worked.
Traci: Okay, so I think I’m getting this. This is about kyle and summer, but you can’t possibly be surprising them with their vow-renewal ceremony, because I think I just successfully talked kyle out of keeping it a surprise from summer.
Noah: It’s a surprise pre-vow-renewal party.
[ Laughter ]
Allie: At noah’s new club.
Traci: Oh, my gosh. I love it. And I know kyle and summer are going to love it, too. What a great idea to christen your club. So what can I do to help?
Noah: How do you feel about being a decoy? We could really use someone to lure the guests of honor into the club.
Traci: I can do that.
Noah: I could also use your advice on something.
Traci: What’s that?
Noah: We’re having a little bit of a guest-list quandary. Obviously, my dad and phyllis have to be there and you and jack.
Tessa: But should we include diane?
Mariah: Or are we just asking for trouble putting those two in a room together with a throwable cake?
Phyllis: I, for one, would like to congratulate diane for doing the right thing, stepping down after that very, very embarrassing outburst. I’d like to congratulate you for doing the very noble, sensible thing.
Kyle: Are you sure this is what you want to do, mom? You’re willing to step down?
Diane: I made a promise. I agreed to your terms, and I violated them. How could you ever trust me again if I didn’t keep my word?
Phyllis: Why are you nodding to him? What’s going on?
Summer: Mom. Those terms we agreed on?
Kyle: We made it clear that both of you would be terminated from marchetti if there were any more infractions, and we meant it.
Summer: Diane resigned because of an argument with you.
Phyllis: [ Chuckles ] What? What, you — you both don’t want me to resign, as well.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Sighs ] Ubrelvy helps u fight migraine attacks.
“The young and the restless”
Traci: Phyllis and diane. Well, they would definitely cause a rift in the time-space continuum considering how much chaos they generate. But wouldn’t they have to be on their best behavior because this is about their kids? Wouldn’t they?
Allie: Yeah, I agree with traci. Why would kyle and summer’s mothers cause trouble at a celebration of their love for each other?
Mariah: Because this is phyllis and diane, and history has proven that that’s just what happens when they’re in each other’s orbit. So why risk it?
Tessa: Because if only one of them is invited, they’ll probably take it very personally.
Mariah: So maybe we shouldn’t invite either of them.
Allie: Wait, no moms at all?
Tessa: Well, of course they’d be at the ceremony.
Noah: No, seems weird and wrong. I know phyllis and diane bring out the worst in each other, but they love their kids.
Tessa: But maybe the best gift that we can give summer and kyle is a night of love and support without all the drama.
Allie: I know I’m new here, but what if there’s another option, one that doesn’t exclude phyllis or diane?
Phyllis: What? I’m not at fault. She lost her mind. I didn’t provoke her.
Summer: We’re aware of what happened, mom.
Phyllis: She’s resigning because she knows she did the wrong thing. I shouldn’t have to resign, too.
Summer: I guess I need to remind you of the lunch that we just had where we notified you and diane that it wouldn’t matter who said or did what to whom, that you would both be out.
Phyllis: Okay, wait a second. So when I came to you in good faith about what happened, I was just sealing my fate?
Diane: Nobody likes a tattletale.
Kyle: What was that?
Diane: Oh, I was just saying that you made the terms of our employment crystal clear.
Kyle: Even more reason we appreciate you being honest. You knew the cost, but you did the right thing anyway.
Phyllis: Okay, well, that’s it?
Diane: You know, I guess phyllis just didn’t grasp the concept of what you had said, but I respect that when you and summer say something as senior executives at marchetti, that you mean it.
Phyllis: Oh, my goodness. Okay, so, listen, I have the utmost respect for both of you because you’re fair and you’re both very, very smart. And I would think you wouldn’t let some ridiculous, arbitrary rule stop you from doing the right thing.
Kyle: Summer and I are sorry to see you go. Both of you were assets to the company, but it seems as if this was inevitable.
Summer: We’ll miss seeing you around the office.
Phyllis: Okay. Thank you for the opportunity. It was a great time. Thank you.
Summer: [ Sighs ]
Diane: Well, I — I hope we can all get together for dinner at some point.
Jack: [ Groans ] I know that wasn’t easy for you. I have to ask. Were you just teaching your mothers a lesson, or is marchetti saying goodbye to them forever?
Kyle: I don’t think learning to play nice is even a possibility for those two at this point.
Summer: You know what the worst part about this is? They were both doing really great work, and my mom is a perfect fit at marchetti home, and…
Jack: Can I perhaps offer a suggestion?
Summer: Anything. Please.
Jack: Let them stew in this for a while, and then offer them one final one last chance.
Mariah: I want to be optimistic. I do, okay? But I have to be realistic. And diane and phyllis in a room together, it’s just going to be total war.
Noah: Alright, well, I think we should hear allie out.
Traci: I agree. What’s your plan, honey? One mom and then the next.
Tessa: Oh, like staggering their arrival?
Allie: Yes, precisely. We have one mom spend time with the happy couple, they give a toast, they have fun, and then all we have to make sure we do is get her to be gone before the next one arrives.
Noah: Genius. I love it.
Traci: This plan might actually work.
Mariah: Yeah, it definitely has potential. You know, we just have to make sure that there is no overlap ’cause then everything will fall apart.
Tessa: If anyone can pull it off, we can.
Noah: Alright, we need to set the next phase of this plan in motion.
Allie: Operation let’s get everyone there on time. Okay, suggestions?
Traci: Um, I think you should ask diane to be there first. I think she’ll be easier to get out of the room. Easier than phyllis.
Mariah: Well, perfect. I’ll escort kyle and diane to the venue.
Noah: And I’ll take care of summer and my dad.
Traci: I can get jack there.
Tessa: And allie and I will make sure that the club is ready to rock.
Traci: [ Chuckles ] Alright, everybody have their assignments?
Noah: Alright, let’s give kyle and summer a night they’ll never forget.
Summer: You’re seriously advocating giving our moms one more last chance?
Kyle: We’ll take that under advisement.
Summer: How many more last chances do they deserve anyway?
Jack: I will leave that decision in your very capable hands.
[ Cellphone pings ] That’s traci. She wants to see me. Um, I’ll see you both later.
Kyle: Yeah, go. We’ve got this under control. What do you think?
Summer: I think your father’s a pushover. Why should we give our moms another chance to break our hearts?
Kyle: Maybe we scared them straight, and they’re filled with remorse.
Summer: Yeah, they’re sorry. They’re sorry that they’re suffering any consequences. This is the only way they’re going to learn, kyle. We have to be firm.
Kyle: I hear what you’re saying, but is it worth the collateral damage to marchetti just to prove a point?
Summer: On the other hand, if we let them off the hook now, they may never take anything we have to say seriously again.
Kyle: Okay, let’s see what they’ve been up to since they left. If they’re carefully crafting apology letters, we can talk. If they’re planning on waging war, they’re out of chances.
Summer: Okay. I’m on board. Just hope for the best.
Summer: [ Sighs ] I’m sorry about how that went down.
Phyllis: You are my daughter. You’re supposed to be on my side.
Summer: You’re not being fair. I am always on your side.
Phyllis: No, you’re not. You fired me because of something diane did. She lost her mind, summer. She lost her mind. Doesn’t seem to matter. I mean, she can’t get over her hatred for me. She’s constantly playing mind games, but I’m paying the price.
Summer: We laid out the zero-tolerance rules less than 24 hours ago.
Phyllis: Yep. It doesn’t matter. Her hatred for me goes back decades. No rule is going to change that.
Summer: I know. Mom, I’ve heard all of your stories about diane. And you know what? I believe them. I understand why you feel the way you do about diane, but you gave me your word that you would keep the peace.
Phyllis: I did keep the peace. Diane didn’T. I mean, honestly, this — this rule is ridiculous, summer. It’s ridiculous. One mom is bad, and then the other one should get fired, too. I mean, come on.
Summer: It’s the behavior that’s unacceptable.
Phyllis: It’s diane’s behavior that’s unacceptable.
Summer: Mom, be honest with yourself. If you wanted to keep the peace, you would have quashed the conflict. You could’ve ignored her, you could’ve walked away, but you didn’T.
Phyllis: Gandhi wouldn’t be able to walk away from diane.
Summer: But must you accept every invitation for a fight? Mom, as much as I love you, and I do love you, and as much as I sympathize with what you’re going through, my husband and I are trying to run a major fashion company. We’re dealing with time differences, creative differences, and now, every single day, it seems like, we’re dealing with issues with our moms that are distracting us. And I’m not even going to talk about that mysterious file that allegedly showed up on diane’s computer.
Phyllis: Oh, my goodness. And there it is. You just mentioned it.
Summer: Diabolical plot or not, it’s the fact that I had to take time out of my day to deal with it. That is the problem. Mom, I need you to see my perspective on this, to focus on the bigger picture here, please.
[ Cellphone pings ]
[ Sighs ]
Phyllis: Is that a fashion emergency? Do you need my help?
Summer: No, it’s — it’s noah. He wants me to meet him at the grand phoenix.
Phyllis: What’s going on?
Summer: I don’t know. Maybe something to do with the club? I should go.
Phyllis: Okay, well, I’ll go with you. We can finish our discussion.
Summer: You know what, mom? I think we should sleep on this, talk of the morning.
Summer: Love you.
Diane: [ Sighs ] Are you here to get me to hand over my company credit card?
Kyle: No. I came to tell you I’m proud of you.
Diane: Proud? That’s not a word that comes to mind when speaking about what I did.
Kyle: Well, we can all agree you were in the wrong, but I am still proud that you made the right decision afterwards.
Diane: Yeah, what choice did I have? You know, part of my therapy has been learning to own my actions. I just… I just hope this doesn’t change the way you see me or affect my relationship with harrison.
Kyle: Hey, it was business, nothing more. And it’ll stay that way unless things escalate.
Diane: I do not intend for that to happen. I hope you know that. And I know I made a similar promise earlier today…
Diane: But after losing the job that I’ve grown to love, I, um — I am more resolved than ever to do better, to be better.
Kyle: I really hope you mean that.
Diane: I do. So has phyllis officially resigned?
Kyle: [ Scoffs ]
[ Cellphone pings ]
Diane: Is everything alright?
Kyle: I’m not sure. What do you think?
Phyllis: [ Thinking ] Oh, diane, you are so sweet and innocent and humble.
[ Sighs ] Could you actually [Sighs] Be getting the better of me? Could I be failing? No. I will not let her win. I will not. Think. Oh, phyllis, think. They all have blinders on. If I could you just get to summer, and if I could just get her to open her eyes and look at things honestly from my perspective… yeah. That’s it. Summer just needs a little nudge to see that diana is the one who was wrong. That’s it.
Summer: Okay, what’s going on?
Diane: I have no idea.
Summer: What did your message say?
Kyle: Mariah said to meet her here and bring my mom.
Summer: Hmm. Noah told me to meet him here, but he didn’t say anything about the two of you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Noah: Surprise! A fragrance this alluring
Summer: I think we walked in on the wrong party.
Noah: No, this is exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Kyle: But why? Would someone please explain what’s going on?
Noah: You’re in the right place ’cause this party is for you. And you.
Kyle: I don’t get it. Surprise what?
Jack: Traci, what would you call this?
Traci: The surprise non-bachelor/non-bachelorette party. Eh, that’s a little clunky.
[ Laughter ]
Allie: Well, whatever it is, it is my first big abbott shindig.
Noah: Oh, in honor of you having yet another wedding.
Kyle: [ Chuckles ] I love it.
Summer: Oh, my god. You guys, this is so sweet. I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s just, you don’t — you don’t know how much this means to me. To us.
Kyle: Mm. Thank you so much, everyone. As you all know, historically, I am the go-to guy for wedding and all things wedding-related.
Mariah: I’m sorry. Have you planned a speech for your surprise party?
[ Laughter ]
Kyle: What I’m trying to say is you guys really know how to celebrate.
[ Laughter ]
Noah: You heard the guy. Let’s party. Welcome to the glam club.
Kyle: [ Chuckles ]
Summer: Noah, this place is going to be packed day and night. I love it.
Kyle: You’ve done an amazing job.
Allie: I’m so impressed.
Traci: And noah planned this entire evening.
Noah: Yeah, well, I know you have pretty high standards, so I hope I lived up to the expectation.
Kyle: You sure have.
Summer: You know what? I was right to suspect something earlier, even though you all were very convincing when you were pretending not to know anything about our vow renewal.
Mariah: Well, I really hope you can forgive us.
Kyle: It’s the best surprise we could’ve gotten.
Traci: Even better than the surprise re-wedding you had planned?
Diane: Ah, I’m so glad everything’s out in the open.
Summer: Noah, did you say something about champagne?
Noah: I didn’t, but, uh — okay.
Jack: [ Chuckles ]
Summer: Noah, I see kyle’s parents here, but where are mine?
Noah: Oh, dad’s on his way. He should be here any second.
Summer: And what about my mom?
Noah: We thought it might be a good idea to avoid any possible tension, so we staggered the arrival of your mom and diane. I know it’s weird.
Summer: Oh, actually, after the day the four of us have had, that is the most brilliant solution ever. You are about to win brother of the year award.
Noah: Yeah, we got to make sure that diane’s out of here before phyllis shows up.
Summer: And you have a plan to get her out of here on time?
Noah: I thought that I did, but it looks like we just hit a little snag.
Summer: Oh. No, no, no.
Phyllis: What’s going on?