Days Transcript Thursday, November 4, 2021

Days of Our Lives Transcript

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Transcript provided by Suzanne


Maggie: Well, cook really outdid herself with these scones.

Victor: Mm-hmm.

Maggie: You should try one. Well, you know what I miss most about being away? Was our lovely conversations over breakfast. You know, the news about politics, and catching up. It was all so invigorating.

Victor: Excuse me?

Maggie: You didn’t hear a word I said?

Victor: I’m sorry. This article. Ava vitali, she’s– she’s in police custody on suspicion of killing the guy that shot abe. That’s wonderful, isn’t it?

Maggie: Well, thank god that horrible man is no longer a threat.

Victor: I’m talking about the part of her going down for murder.

Maggie: Oh, of course. How silly am I?

Victor: The woman blackmailed philip. Forced him to launder money through my company. I’m allowed to revel at her misfortune.

Maggie: Well, whatever sparks your joy, dear.

Victor: Another miscreant behind bars. You know the cell in pd lock up must be running out of room.

Justin: Actually a few spots just opened up.

Maggie: Oh, justin!

[Laughter] You are free!

Justin: Yes, I am.

Maggie: Oh, my goodness gracious.

Justin: All thanks to uncle vic and steve johnson.

Steve: Oh, hey. Right about now, gwen should be getting released.

Jack: Oh, steve, I don’t know how to thank you. You really came through for my daughter.

Steve: Well, when victor told me that the original deal didn’t include bonnie and gwen, I just didn’t think that was right.

Jack: So you fought for both of their released too?

Steve: And I was happy to do it.

Jack: Even though you’re not a fan of either one.

Steve: Well, I’ve come around on bonnie. And gwen is my niece. What kind of an uncle would I be if I just let her go to prison?

Xander: Oh, there you are. Are you okay?

Gwen: Better now.

Xander: What took so long? Bonnie and justin got already released. I was starting to worry there was something, like, snag with your case.

Melinda: I was just explaining to ms. Rizczech that the only reason why she’s free is because her uncle, steve, played hard ball.

Gwen: Apparently, your uncle did not intend to save bonnie or me.

Melinda: If it were up to me, all four of you would be serving time in statesville.

Xander: Oh, a softie like you wanting us all locked up? I’m surprised.

Melinda: More than you know. But your freedom was a small price to pay for what I got in return–the bitch who murdered my daughter.

Kristen: Oh, thank you for coming. So where’s ej?

Chad: [Sighs] He won’t be showing up.

Kristen: What do you mean? Why not? I need him to represent me.

Chad: I’ll let him explain it himself.

Kristen: [Exhales sharply]

Abigail: Aunt kayla, do you have a minute?

Kayla: Oh, sure. I was just going on my break, so yeah, I definitely have a minute. What’s up?

Abigail: Did you happen to get my text the other day?

Kayla: I’m sorry, I did. Then, everything with abe and everything else going on. I’m sorry. Things got so crazy.

Abigail: Totally understand. No, no. But now that everything is okay with abe, thank god, I’m hoping that you could help me out.

Kayla: Okay.

Abigail: [Sighs] I think that gwen is lying to my dad, and I need you to help me prove it.

Male announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “days of our lives.”

[Soft orchestration]

Justin: Since D.A. Trask dropped all the charges, I probably won’t be disbarred.

Maggie: Oh, that is fantastic news! Did you happen to pull some strings?

Victor: Well, I might have negotiated a deal that was mutually beneficial with trask.

Maggie: Oh, and what did she get out of the deal?

Victor: Something, or someone that she’s always wanted. Kristen dimera.

Maggie: But she’s gone into hiding.

Victor: Well, that’s why i hired steve johnson to find her, and apparently, he’s come through. Looks like he took her directly to trask.

Justin: It’s a fact. Kristen is already in custody.

Victor: Could this day get any better?

Victor: I really do appreciate your help, uncle vick. Things were looking pretty dire.

Victor: Well, you’re the best of us, justin. I couldn’t allow you to go to prison. Although what you did was very, very stupid.

Justin: I love you too. Sincerely, thank you. Bonnie and I owe you.

Victor: Bonnie? The hell she’s got to do with it?

[Squeals] Time to get this party started!


Xander: Oh, I would love to see the look on victor’s face when he finds out bonnie’s out of jail.

Gwen: He hates her that much?

Xander: Can’t stand the sight of her. No, he’s convinced that she’s not nearly good enough for precious justin.

Gwen: I can’t imagine what he’d think of me then.

Xander: I don’t give a damn. Victor’s opinion hasn’t mattered to me for a very long time.

Melinda: Ugh, this insight into the kiriakis family dynamic is oh, so fascinating, but you’ll have to excuse me. I have a psychopath to put away. Although, something tells me it won’t be long before I see one or both of you back here again.

Xander: Excuse me, um, aren’t you forgetting something? You and I have unfinished business.

Kayla: So what do you think gwen’s lying about?

Abigail: Well, I mean, i don’t know if you’ve heard, but gwen admitted to my dad that dr. Snyder blackmailed her into being his drug courier.

Kayla: Yes, jack did tell steve and me that, yeah.

Abigail: And did he happen to mention the leverage that snyder had over gwen?

Kayla: Just that apparently he knew that she was a sex worker in her past.

Abigail: Right, which, I mean, she only did it to help make ends meet, which is so sad and something my dad would absolutely understand. And she knew that, and he did understand.

Kayla: Right.

Abigail: So I just–I don’t see why she would allow herself to be blackmailed into delivery drugs, something that she abhorred, all in an effort to keep my dad from finding out she used to be a sex worker. I mean, we both know she’s done things infinitely worse since coming to town, and she’s felt no shame about them.

Kayla: So the point is, you think that she’s lying about her past?

Abigail: Yes, I do. I think she’s hiding something else, something much worse.

Victor: Why aren’t you in jail?

Bonnie: [Giggles] What are you talking about? Hey, honey.

Justin: Hi.

Bonnie: You’re the one who got me sprung. That’s why I bought you this fancy champagne as a thank you. Mm-hmm.

Victor: Well, you’re not welcome. Must be some sort of a mix-up.

Justin: What do you mean?

Victor: I negotiated a deal for you and xander to be released. It didn’t include the release of some dime store dolly parton.

Bonnie: Well, I guess patchy renegotiated the terms, because now both gwen and i are free as birds. Tweet tweet.

Xander: Gwen and I aren’t walking out of here until you return my briefcase.

Melinda: Oh, the one filled with a million dollars?

Xander: Yeah, that’d be the one. And now that bonnie’s case is closed, you don’t need it for evidence anymore.

Gwen: And xander and I have really big plans for that money. Don’t we, darling? Starting with a tropical paradise resort and mai tais.

Xander: Not to mention sex on the beach.

Gwen: Yeah, and he’s not talking about the drink.

Melinda: Ew. Okay. Enough already. I’ll get you your money, mr. Kiriakis, but the paperwork will take a while. So why don’t you come back in an hour or two?

Xander: I’ll be here, and I expect every last dollar to be accounted for. Shall we?


Steve: You know, initially kayla and I had a hard time accepting gwen into the family after what she did to you and jennifer, and the hell she put abigail through.

Jack: I understand, I do. But you have to know, gwen regrets everything she’s done, the pain she’s caused. She’s worked so hard to make amends and turn her life around.

Steve: Yeah, well the only reason she saw the inside of a cell was because she was trying to take down a corrupt judge.

Jack: Exactly, exactly. Gwen’s really trying, and I just hope it– hope it counts for something.

Steve: Well, I had to give her a second chance. I’ve had plenty of those myself.

Jack: Me too. And for what it’s worth, I truly believe that gwen has changed. She’s done for good with her secrets and lies.

Kayla: So if gwen wasn’t a sex worker in her past, what do you think snyder was holding over her head?

Abigail: I don’t know. And to be honest, I hope that I’m wrong. I mean, gwen and my dad have gotten close recently, as I’m sure you know, and if there is something, I hate the idea of hurting my dad, and gwen, for that matter. I’ve done enough to that woman as it is. I’m the reason she lost the baby–the whole fight at the top of the stairs– and that’s just really hard to forgive myself for.

Kayla: Abigail, it was an accident.

Abigail: Yeah, but it wouldn’t have happened if i wasn’t so furious. And it didn’t end there, right? You know, I mean, she went, she was treated by snyder because of the fall, and we all know where that led. And so, I–part of me feels like I should just let the whole thing go, but I just have this nagging feeling that there is something else going on. And that’s where you come in.

Kayla: I–I don’t see how I could help.

Abigail: I’d like to go in and take a look at snyder’s office. I’m–I’m hoping that I could go in there and I could find some clue as to what it was he was really holding over gwen.

Kristen: “Dear kristen, I know you were counting on me to represent you against your latest charges, but the board has advised me not to take on your case, as it will reflect badly on the company. I will do what I can to help you behind the scenes, but unfortunately, I cannot do so publicly.” What the hell? I nursed this bastard back from the grave, and this is how he repays me?

Chad: I lobbied hard. Ej refuses to go against shin.

Kristen: [Scoffs] To hell with shin and appearances. My future is on the line, and without ej’s help, I could spend the rest of my life behind bars. I order my groceries online now.

Steve: So you and gwen have gotten pretty close, haven’t you?

Jack: We have. We have, and now that she’s finally let down her guard, I’ve had a glimpse of the kind of woman she could’ve been if she hadn’t been walking around carrying that huge chip on her shoulder. Selfless, caring, especially when it comes to xander.

Steve: Things pretty serious between them?

Jack: Well, she did try to entrap that judge to get xander out of jail.

Steve: Well, nothing says love like pretending to seduce another man.

Jack: In a weird way, in gwen’s mind, that’s exactly what that said. And now that she has zander are out of jail, they have a real chance to see where it can go.

Gwen: [Scoffs] Well, I just checked upstairs, there’s not a soul to welcome us.

Xander: You didn’t really think anyone in this house would actually be glad to see us, did you, besides your father?

Gwen: I suppose you’re right. Hey, what are you doing there, mister? Is that my laptop?

Xander: Oh, I hope you don’t mind; I just couldn’t wait to get started on our vacation plans.

Gwen: You really are excited about this, aren’t you?

Xander: Are you kidding? We’ve been apart for weeks in tiny, dank cells. The least we deserve is to unwind on a nice, sandy beach somewhere.

Gwen: Mm, yes. With our toes in the water.

Xander: Seagulls squawking overhead.

Gwen: [Chuckles] The smell of salty air.

Xander: And you, in the tiniest bikini we can find.

Gwen: And you, trunks or a speedo?

Xander: Speedo. You know I can pull it off.

Gwen: Not unless I pull it off first.

Kayla: The police had sealed snyder’s office, but as of this morning, the case is officially closed since all the charges against xander have been dropped. Apparently he was the last unresolved part of the case. The rest of the drug ring has already been rounded up.

Abigail: Mm-hmm. Well, are you sure this is okay? I don’t want you to get into any trouble.

Kayla: Well, I don’t see why you can’T. I already retrieved all the patient information, so now, all that’s left are his personal effects.

Abigail: Great. Well, I can’t thank you enough for this.

Kayla: Well, just lock the door when you leave. And good luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Abigail: So do I.

Kayla: Okay.

Kristen: [Sighs]

Chad: Don’t panic, okay? Ej hired another attorney. He’s supposed to be top notch. He’ll meet you at the courthouse later.

Kristen: Oh, great. Am I supposed to be grateful? When did ej become such a coward that he couldn’t come down here and tell me to my face that he was abandoning me?

Chad: You know he’s worried about the bad publicity.

Kristen: Didn’t seem to bother you. Or are you not scared of incurring shin’s wrath?

Chad: Well, you know me. I like to live dangerous.

Kristen: Thank you. Thank you for coming down here.

Chad: I’m sorry you’re in this mess, kristen.

Kristen: Yeah, and I’m only in it because victor sicced steve johnson on me. Ooh, I really ought to just stab the old man in the heart, again.


Chad: No, no, no.

Kristen: [Sighs]

Steve: So johnson went behind my back and negotiated a side deal. I should’ve known I couldn’t trust him.

Justin: And here I thought you did something nice for a change.

Steve: I did do something nice, just not for her.

Maggie: Victor!

Bonnie: [Scoffs] I don’t know why you’re making such a big fuss. You got what you wanted. Justin and xander are free. Gwen and I are just an added bonus. Kind of like when you order onion rings and you get a couple of fries thrown in.

Steve: No, absolutely not. No, I’m going to call trask. This has got to be fixed right away.

Justin: No, stop! The deal is done, and in case you need to be reminded, bonnie is innocent. She deserves her freedom.

Victor: She killed a woman and tucked her into your bed.

Bonnie: It was self-defense.

Victor: Forgive me if I find that hard to believe.

Maggie: Victor, let it go. Justin and bonnie have been through enough. I’m sure they’re ready to put this nightmare behind them.

Justin: And that’s exactly what I intend to do. In fact, I would like to, um, pick up right where we left off. What do you think about getting married today? Better skin from your body wash?

Bonnie: [Giggles] You want to get married today?

Justin: Why not? We could have the ceremony right here, just like we originally planned.

Victor: This venue is booked.

Maggie: For what?

Victor: I’m having friends over for lunch.

Justin: You don’t have any friends.

Victor: How the hell would you know that?

Justin: Name one.

Victor: Ricardo.

Maggie: He’s your barber.

Bonnie: [Snorts]

Justin: That settles it. We’re having the ceremony right here. Now we just have to hope that the justice of the peace, the matron of honor, the best man are all available. I’ll call them right now.

Bonnie: Wait, what do I wear? My wedding dress is all wrinkled, and still in the bag from being arrested.

Justin: Not a word. How about that dress that you were gonna wear for the reception?

Bonnie: It’s perfect. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh, god, I love you so much.

Justin: I love you too.

Bonnie: Aw! You have made me the happiest woman in the world.

Justin: Let’s go.

Bonnie: Okay.

Justin: Oh.

Bonnie: Oh.


Victor: I’m gonna kill steve johnson.

Kayla: [Gasps]

Steve: [Growls lowly]

Kayla: [Squeals] Hello.

Steve: People are watching us.

Kayla: Perfect timing.

Steve: Well, I thought you would be on your break about now, so I wanted to come down and see if I could steal you away for a stroll in the park.

Kayla: Well, that sounds lovely. I just need to hear back from the lab, and then we can go.

Steve: Okay.

Kayla: So how was your breakfast with jack? I bet he was very happy that you got gwen released.

Steve: He was. I tell you, though, I’m just hoping our niece can manage to stay out of trouble from now on.

Kayla: Yeah, about that… you know, I’m sorry to say this, but I–I think that she might be lying to jack again.

Steve: About what?

[Cell phone rings] Hold that thought. Hey, justin. What’s up?

Melinda: I heard the bad news. Your brother, ej, is throwing you to the wolves. Hmm, tough break.

Kristen: Uh-huh, yeah. Well, he did arrange for another lawyer. The best, so, I’m not worried.

Melinda: Well, you should be. You’ll be serving out the five years of your original sentence, which could’ve been two, but you blew that by breaking out twice. And now, you’re facing additional charges of… how many counts of kidnapping and aggravated assault? I can’t keep track anymore. So trust me, you are going away for a very, very long time. And I want you to know, I’m the one that’s making it happen.

Chad: Hey. Got your message. Find anything yet?

Abigail: Uh, not so far. Snyder was definitely a pack rat, which is why I needed your help.

Chad: Anything you need. Where do you want me to start looking?

Abigail: Um, why don’t you do these cabinets here?

Chad: You got it.

Abigail: How did things go with your sister?

Chad: Well, she’s upset that ej’s not taking the case. I can’t blame her, you know. I mean, ej goes on and on about loyalty, but whenever it comes down to it, he’s only ever out for himself.

Abigail: Yeah, well, we knew that already, right?

Chad: What exactly are we looking for?

Abigail: I don’t know. I’m sort of hoping something’s just gonna jump out at us, but maybe I’m grasping at straws and there’s nothing to find.

Chad: We sure as hell aren’t going to give up. Gwen has a secret in here. We’re going to find it.

Both: [Moaning]

Xander: Oh, god, I’ve missed those lips. Every bit of you.

Gwen: I think we should take this to my room, yeah?

Xander: Why don’t we stay here? Why waste precious moments climbing stairs?

Gwen: [Laughs] We know how julie feels about this couch. She will absolutely kill us.

Xander: Or number one, she’s not here, and two, she doesn’t have to know. And three, I am so crazy for you right now. I can’t wait another second.

Gwen: Oh, god. Oh, yeah.

[Both laugh] Hurry. Hurry.

Jack: Gwen, are you– oh, my god.

Gwen: [Screams]

Xander: [Grunts]

Gwen: Oh. It’s my 4:05 the-show-must-go-on

Jack: Excuse me. I didn’t mean to interrupt.

Xander: No worries, mate. Did you have to shove me so hard?

Gwen: I’m sorry, it’s reflex. Are you all right?

Xander: Just a broken rib or two, no big deal.

Jack: I really should be going, so I’ll–

Gwen: No. No, no, no, no. Jack, jack, please don’t go. Don’t go. I’m so happy to see you.

Jack: Not as happy as I am to see you. Steve filled me in on everything, welcome home.

Both: [Laughs]

Gwen: I owe steve so much.

Jack: Listen, you pay him back by having a really good life.

Gwen: Believe me. I plan to do that, and it’ll be such a relief to know I don’t have to ever think about that awful snyder ever again.

[Tense music]

Chad: Snyder was really into legal thrillers.

Abigail: Maybe he was researching how to get away with running a drug ring.

Chad: I mean, he certainly wasn’t studying the classics– “law and disorder”, “miscarriage of justice”?

Abigail: What’s that?

Chad: Looks like a medical record.

Abigail: For gwen rizczech?

Chad: It’s about the miscarriage.

Abigail: Whoa, it is, but why would he be keeping this hidden away in a book?

Kristen: I’m very aware of the deal you made with victor and steve. I’m a bit surprised an overachiever like you cut loose four potential feathers in your sad little cap.

Melinda: It was so worth it. The woman who killed my daughter wasting away in a prison cell. I will finally have justice for my little girl.

Kristen: I’m sorry about haley, but it truly was an accident–

Melinda: Shut the hell up with your excuses. You took my daughter away from me.

Kristen: Yeah, and you are doing exactly the same to me. I may never get to see rachel again.

Melinda: That seems fair to me. I lost my daughter because of you. I’m just returning the favor.

Kayla: Hello?

Steve: Hey.

Maggie: Hey.

Steve: Where are the bride and groom?

Maggie: Oh, they’re still getting dressed.

Victor: This is all your fault.

Steve: Say what?

Victor: We had a deal. And that deal did not include you going behind my back and making any side deals to release any other trash that you happen to have around town.

Kayla: Well, what was steve to do? Leave them behind? I mean, bonnie was innocent and gwen was just helping zander.

Steve: There was no way in hell I was going to leave my brother’s daughter and justin’s fiancée in prison, so I don’t give a damn what you think.

Victor: I should’ve known you’d go rogue. Let me make one thing clear. I am not paying you one red cent, and I’m not going to hire you either.

Steve: Is that a promise? Oh.

Kayla: Oh.

Steve: There’s the happy couple. Except they don’t look so happy. What’s going on, man?

Justin: The justice of the peace is not available today. So we’ll have to postpone the ceremony.

Victor: Great.

Maggie: No, you won’t! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I suppose I could officiate. On the outside, I looked fine.

Bonnie: You’re offering to marry us? You don’t even like me.

Maggie: Well, you’re not exactly my favorite person, but you are justin’s, and that counts for something.

Justin: Thank you, maggie. Thank you.

Victor: This is ludicrous. You’re not even ordained.

Maggie: Well, actually, I got ordained in prison last year. I had a lot of time on my hands.

Victor: You couldn’t take up macrame?

Kayla: I think it’s a great idea.

Steve: So do I.

Maggie: [Chuckles]

Justin: Shall we do this?

Bonnie: There’s nothing I want more.


Maggie: All right, well, let me write a script, and I’ll be right back.

Kayla: Well, I thought that you might need this.

Maggie: Oh, thank you.

Kayla: Well, what are matrons of honor for?

Bonnie: Could I ask you one more favor?

Kayla: Of course.

Bonnie: Mimi wanted to video chat so she could watch. Could you hold my phone?

Kayla: Yes, I’d be happy to.

Justin: And, steve, do you mind doing the same thing for sonny and his brothers?

Steve: No problem, buddy.

Justin: Okay.

Bonnie: Steve, I know I’m about to have the happiest day of my life, and it’s all because of you, because you got me out of prison. So I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you did for me.

[Laughs] For me and my about-to-be husband.

Justin: Steve, we are so very grateful. Thank you.

Steve: You know, kayla and I are grateful too because you look happy. I can see those dimples again.


Justin: Okay, are we all set?

Kayla: Yep.

Justin: Are you staying?

Victor: Why wouldn’t I? I was here first.

Justin: Suit yourself. But you better be on your best behavior. I don’t want you casting a pall over our celebration.

Victor: I wouldn’t dream of it.

Jack: I think we should celebrate your freedom with a toast.

Gwen: Sounds lovely.

Jack: To my best mate. To my darling daughter. I know these past few months have not been easy, but I never cease to be amazed and impressed by how the two of you have looked out for each other. Not quite yet. I’d like to think of this as a fresh start. What’s that irish blessing? May green be the grass you walk on. May blue be the skies above you. May pure be the joys that surround you. May true be the hearts that love you.

Xander: Now?

Jack: Now.

Xander: Cheers.

Gwen: Cheers.

Both: [Indistinct]

Gwen: Mmm.

[Phone beeps]

Xander: Oh, a text from trask. Paperwork’s finished. I can collect my briefcase. I’ll be back as soon as I can. We are one step closer to our little bit of paradise.

Gwen: I can’t wait.

Xander: Me neither. Thanks so much for the welcome, jack.

Jack: I take it you two are official now?

Gwen: [Sighs] I–I suppose so, yeah. How do you feel about that?

Jack: Does he make you happy?

Gwen: [Sighs] Believe it or not, yeah. Yes.

Jack: Then you have my blessing.

Gwen: That means more to me than you know. Thanks, dad.

Jack: Dad?

Gwen: Sorry. That sort of just slipped out.

Jack: No, no. Don’t be sorry. I’ve been waiting months to hear you call me that.


Gwen: Lovely.

Abigail: “Patient experienced sharp abdominal pain, drove herself to the hospital 20 minutes after symptoms began.”

Chad: Well, that’s not what happened. Gwen took an ambulance here.

Abigail: That just doesn’t make any sense. This doesn’t mention anything about her falling down the stairs. Look at the time on these.

Chad: What about them?

Abigail: This says that this exam took place hours before gwen and I had the argument.

Chad: So she was here before the accident?

Abigail: Oh, my god. Why give your family just ordinary eggs

Maggie: Dearly beloved, we are gathered today to join justin alexander kiriakis with bonnie maureen lockhart in marriage. This commitment is not to be entered into lightly, as it is a sacred bond and one that comes with great responsibility. If there is anyone present who may show why this couple should not be lawfully wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace.

Justin: Don’t even think about it.

Victor: Worth a shot.

Maggie: Shall we continue?

Justin: Please.

Maggie: Justin, will you take bonnie as your lawfully wedded wife?

Justin: I do.

Maggie: To love, honor, and cherish her through good times and bad through all the days of your life?

Justin: I do.

Maggie: And, bonnie, will you take justin to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Bonnie: You bet I do.

Maggie: To love, honor, and cherish him through good times and bad for all the days of your life?

Bonnie: Every single second of every single minute, every single hour of every single day.

Both: [Laughs]

Maggie: Justin and bonnie will now exchange rings as a symbol of their love and commitment for each other.

Bonnie: [Exhales]

Maggie: Justin, would you place this ring on bonnie’s finger and repeat after me? As a symbol of my never-ending love, with this ring, I thee wed.

Justin: As a symbol of my never-ending love, with this ring, I thee wed.

[Tender music]

Maggie: Bonnie.

Bonnie: Mm.

Kayla: Sorry.

Maggie: Would you place this ring on justin’s finger and repeat after me? As a symbol of my never-ending love, with this ring, I thee wed.

Bonnie: As a symbol of my never-ending love, with this ring, I thee wed. Forever and ever and ever.

Both: [Chuckle]

Maggie: And now with the power vested in me, I’m honored to pronounce you husband and wife. Justin, you may kiss the bride.



Steve: There we go!

Maggie: All right!

Kayla: Now we’re talking.

Maggie: All right.

Xander: Got your text. Where’s my money?

Melinda: It’s all here. Your precious 1 million.

Xander: Yeah, I’d like to see it for myself if you don’t mind.

Melinda: [Scoffs] Please don’t tell me you’re going to count it.

Xander: No, I’ll trust you, because you know there will be hell to pay if it’s not all there. It’s been real.

Melinda: I don’t regret at all to inform you that you won’t be spending a penny of this.

Xander: What are you talking about?

Melinda: Because you’re going to be giving the money to me.

Xander: Why exactly would I do that?

Melinda: Because if you don’t I will blow your girlfriend’s life sky high.

Gwen: [Sighs] So you’re really okay with me calling you “dad”?

Jack: Why wouldn’t I be?

Gwen: This whole father-daughter thing, it’s still rather new to me, and I didn’t know if we were quite there yet.

Jack: Then let me remove any doubt from your mind. You are my daughter, and I love you, and nothing will ever change that.

Gwen: Thank you, dad.

Jack: Oh.

Gwen: [Chuckles]

[Door opens]

[Tense music]

Abigail: [Clears throat]

Jack: Well, how perfect is this? You’re just in time to join our little celebration.

Abigail: Well, sorry, dad. Party’s over.

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