General Hospital Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
[ Laughing ] Oh, my god. Oh, wiley. Oh. Willow, you guy– michael, is that you? You guys look amazing. Grandma carly, I’m luke skywalker. Well, you certainly are.
[ As darth vader ] And I am your father. May the force be with you tonight, carly. You may need it. Yes, I think so. Howdy, partner. Ready to round up those bad guys? I brought my lightsaber.
[ Normal voice ] To infinity and — wrong movie, daddy.
[ Laughing ] Oh, my god. Oh, I am so glad james has another sheriff of sorts to hang out with tonight. Oh, gosh. Yes, they’ll be occupied for hours. Somebody’s got to keep the peace. Yeah, I don’t think it’s gonna be those two. Mommy! Ooh, the costume turned out perfect! You look beautiful! And scout. Oh, my gosh, you look amazing. Thank you for bringing the girls. Thank you for doing all this. Wow. Look at all of this. We are gonna have so much fun. Yes! I don’t know, joss. How are we gonna pull this together? Thank god you’re here. Oh, you’re gonna look fantastic. And you’re gonna be the life of the party. I can’t believe you’re not coming. You were so excited for tonight. You’re gonna miss an epic party. I don’t know. I mean, dex was supposed to come with me, and now that I’m solo, I just don’t want to go and deal with all the drunk frat guys hitting on us, and, you know. Well, I’ll protect you. Oh, well, thank you, but I think I need some “me” time. But go, have so much fun, and text me all of the tragic costumes. Alright. Deal. Get ready for spam pictures.
[ Both laughing ]
[ Sighs ] Talk about a horror show.
[ Knock on door ] Happy halloween! Alright, devane. You have cracked tougher codes than this, so let’s get everything in some kind of order. Oh, okay. Good start. Alright. Wow. So many years of secrets. Stop. It’s not a trip down memory lane. Come on, let’s get this worked out. Okay.
[ Mutters ] Charlotte. What are you doing? Those cookies are great, avery. I’m learning about 3d cake decorating. Check this out. Wow, aiden, you did that? Pretty complicated. 1983… 1985… ’89. Okay.
[ Knock on door ] Hello? Felicia: Anna. It’s me. Oh. Hi. What do you have there? A housewarming present. Something no self-respecting english woman should be without. Papa. Why aren’t you in your halloween costume? Your friends are gonna be here any minute. I was just fixing the decorations. I want everything to be perfect when they get here. And my costume is easy. I can just put it on before we leave for trick-or-treating. You’re pretty excited about halloween this year, aren’t you? Yeah. Last year was so boring. We barely did anything at boarding school. The headmaster was so strict. I’m sorry you had to go through that. We’ll make this one a halloween to remember, okay? It’s already better. I’m here with you, and we have this house of our own.
[ Knock on door ] That must be them. Okay, remember the deal about no chaperone needed. Together: Trick-or-treat!
[ Roars ]
[ Gasps ] Oh. Well, bigfoot’s here. Why don’t you come on in? Oh. I mean, I have no words. Well, then, silence is gold, baby. Oh! Hi. Hi. How was ace’s first halloween? Were you excited to take him trick-or-treating? Yes, yes. Oh, my gosh, it was wonderful. I didn’t know how he was gonna react at first, because he was so scared of that jack-o’-lantern that we had in the lobby, but he was great. He had so much fun. At first esme was trying to walk him up to the doors, but then I decided that it would be better to just, you know, float — float him up. That’s cute. Yeah. Yeah. So we had a nice time. Of course, he passed out by the fourth house, so I dropped him off. And now I’m all yours. Well, then… what are we waiting for? Let’s get going. Okay. Alright, you two. Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. That leaves a lot of options. Oh, hey. What’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Daddy. Yeah? I want to show willow my costume. Okay, go have some fun. So, aiden, you miss your brother? Yeah, but we talk on the phone all the time. Yeah? Does cameron like school? You could say that. But he’s really interested in yuki. Yuki? Mm-hmm. His new girlfriend. Oh.
[ Chuckling ] Hi, guys. Okay, so what do we have here? We have cowboy and… luke skywalker. Yes. Yes, ma’am. And if you need any help with outlaws, we’ve got you covered. Zap! Oh! Well, that’s good to know, partner. Grandma nina, we could patrol the island. James, you should see where grandpa and grandma nina had their wedding. There are big caves to explore and a lot of spiders. We’re gonna go back again soon, right? Yes. We are. Although I wish you wouldn’t mention those spiders.
[ Laughs ] How did you all come up with these costumes? I wanted mine to be a surprise. Donna kept trying to find out. I did not. I just wanted to know what color it would be. And if it was an animal or a person or if I would have a tiara. Donna decided what we would wear. Only because you let me. “Let” you. Hey, mom, is there… any word on drew? No. Radio silence. It’s driving me crazy. Voil. Aren’t you supposed to say trick-or-treat? No, no, no, that’s what you say when you want to get candy. I’m here to give it. Oh, well, I appreciate the gesture, cody, and I do have a sweet tooth. But I think if I ate all that, I’d go into sugar shock. No, no, this isn’t for you to eat. At least not all of it. It’s for you to give away. Give away? Oh, cody, I don’t think any little goblins are gonna come ringing my doorbell. There is not so much as a skeleton on the door or a plastic pumpkin out front. Hold that thought. I’ll be right back.
[Coughing] In. Come. Have a seat. I’ll get you some water. I don’t kn– I don’t know what went wrong. I mean… I’ve never taken a test like that before. Adam, it’s organic chemistry, okay? It’s tough. And that was a heinous test. The professor warned us. What did you get? I got a 92.5. A 92.5. And that’s tanking? 92.5 is not going to get me into the medical schools on my parents’ list. Well, then I better not apply anywhere on your parents’ list because I got an 89% and that’s better than I thought. I just wish I could… I wish I could be like you. You’re so relaxed and level-headed. If I get less than a 95, I have to have a panic attack, and I have to dodge all the calls from my home until the next exam. Wow. Um… that’s intense. Look, adam. You have to stop being so hard on yourself, okay? You’re so smart and you’re so capable. You’re gonna make a great doctor. Thank you, josslyn. I… I really needed to hear that.
[ Cellphone chimes ] Oh. Well, I guess I’m going out for halloween after all. Oh, my goodness, this is perfect. Thank you so much. How did you know? I am so desperate for a cup of tea. You have no idea. I had a hunch.
[ Sighs ] It’s just you didn’t have to give me a gift. This whole place is gift enough. Just you figuring out I could sublet from maxie. Two birds, one stone. Right? Yeah. I think that’s what they say. You have a unique ability. You know that? Makes you perfect to be a patient advocate. You just — just figure things out and you can help people work through difficult situations. Well, I wouldn’t engrave that on a plaque just yet. I nearly sank my career at the hospital before it even set sail. You guys look so great. Check out our new house. Wow. Charlotte, this is so cool. We both have new places. Yeah. It’s kind of weird how you’re living in my mom’s old house. What room did you pick? I got the one with the window seat. Oh, that’s where I used to sleep. What are these? Pumpkin bars. I made them. -Sam, come in. -Hey. Can I offer you a glass of sparkling pumpkin-spice apple cider? No. I’m good, thank you. Probably a wise choice. Listen, thanks for bringing the kids by. Yeah. My pleasure. They were all really excited. You know, elizabeth is working, and maxie took james to kelly’S. Sonny and nina offered to take scout so I could drop the kids off here, but carly is throwing a huge halloween bash for adults and kids. Really? No. I wasn’t aware there was a party. I wasn’t in the loop. Well, according to carly, the more the merrier. So if anyone wants to join… that might be preferable. Why don’t you ask them what they think? Hey, kids! Carly is throwing a huge halloween bash at kelly’s if there’s any takers. Aw, congratulations, you love birds, on skipping town like fugitives. I wasn’t gonna let her get away. That’s sweet. You know, I had the perfect theme for your wedding — flying cherubs, towering gladiolas, taffeta for days. But I suppose eloping does have its appeal. Thank you, maxie, I wish you could have been there, but if you did the wedding, I’m sure it was going to be amazing. But this is exactly what we wanted. Quick and simple. Probably for the best because weddings in port charles usually attract bad mojo. Yeah, no bad mojo. No. All you guys need is happiness. And you both clearly have that going on. You got it. Girls play better. Yeah! No way. Boys win because our arms are strong. Who cares about strong arms? You have to aim good. Yeah. Like shooting a slingshot. Daddy says you have to tilt a little higher than you think. What are y’all talking about out here? Cornhole. But it’s really a gender war. Wiley: I try to move people’s bags off the board. Avery says girls are better. Ooh, those are some fighting words. But it’s not that simple, though, right? I mean, everyone has their own skills and talents. That’s what goes into making a winning team, right? I guess. Michael’s such a good dad and an amazing big brother. He is, you know? He’s the rock of the family. He’s always stepping in to help out his siblings and double that for his own children.
[ Sighs ] It’s a gift. And sometimes a burden. Hey, what are you guys doing? We’re gonna play cornhole. I want you on my team.
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with vabysmo. Okay, well, don’t all speak at once. Thank you, sam, for the invitation to carly’s party, but… mom, didn’t we talk about this? The party at kelly’s is totally for little kids. We want to go trick-or-treating. Okay, but if you change your mind, then just… we won’T. Right? Definitely not. Yeah. Looks like the mob has spoken. It was a nightmare, anna. I was so humiliated. Well, $11,000 is so much. I know. Well, the patient couldn’t afford it. And how was I going to explain that to mac? Would you have really been on the hook for it? Well, I couldn’t very well say to the poor man, “sorry. My bad.” Guess not. Stella henry — she saved the day. Curtis’ aunt stella? Yes. I had my checkbook out, ready to pay. And she knew of a research project at the hospital. So she made a call and the patient agreed to share his data. And boom, the hospital just stepped right in and covered the costs. No way. I couldn’t believe it. She knows everything. She sounds so plugged in. She really is. Oh, well, you will be, too, you know? You’re just a diamond in the rough. A diamond? No, more like a lump of coal. But stella, she has all this information, and it’s all right here. You’ll have it up there, too, you know. You’re a perfectionist. That’s your strength. You’re not gonna be a rookie forever. And your heart’s in the right place. That’s the most important thing. Wow, dex, I really love the costume. It’s really “mobster security detail” look. Very funny, joss, I got here as soon as possible. Well, you get points for that. Besides, nobody is gonna be looking at me.
[ Sighs ] How’d you get the night off? Sonny said I didn’t have to work tonight and I didn’t stick around to ask questions. I just grabbed the opportunity. Oh, I’m glad you did. Mm. Mm! But we should probably go or else we’re never gonna get out of here. No, we’re not. And I really want to see trina and spencer. Okay, then, let’s get going. Okay. Okay. Told ya. Alright. [ Sighs ] This thing is surprisingly heavy for a ghost. Maybe it’s real. Ahh. Well, maybe we need to use real magic, then. Thank you, assistant. Hocus pocus! Shazam! Magic. Magic tape. It’s still magic. Behold! Your abode is now both goblin friendly and fa-boo-lous. Wow! I can’t believe it. You’ve turned my boring apartment into a haunted mansion. Let’s not go overboard, okay? I just ran to the bargain mart and grabbed whatever they had left. But this witch’s hat had your name written all over it. Are you implying I’m a witch? Well, you definitely cast a spell on me. And you are quite enchanting. Well, that is very sweet of you to say, and honestly, I appreciate you thinking of me tonight. But, cody, you don’t have to feel obligated to check up on me. Is that — is that what you think I’m doing? Aren’t you?
[ Chuckling ] No, no, no, no, you got it all wrong. No, I’m not checking up on you. I’m just making it easier for you to check up on me. Oh, carly, I have an errand to run. I’m gonna leave james here. I’ll either be back to get him, or my mom will come pick him up. Is that okay? You have an errand to run on halloween? Yeah. Wish me luck. Oh, well, good luck. And don’t worry about james. I’ll keep an eye on him. Hey, you are a lifesaver. And hats off to you for staging this flawless soiree. I’ll take it. That’s a compliment coming from you. It’s true, james. Grandpa has a jet and I got to meet the pilot. No way. You’re making that up. No, I’m not. I high fived him. Ask grandpa. Grandpa? Yes. Tell james about the jet. What about the jet? You really have one with a pilot? Yes. It’s true. I cannot lie. See, I told you I wasn’t lying. Wiley… remember what we said about the word “gracious”? I guess. Well, gracious winners don’t gloat. What does “gloat” mean? It means you need to apologize to james. But he said I was lying. Okay. I’m sorry. Tell you what we’ll do, partner. We’ll show you the jet this weekend. Take you on an adventure. Whoa! You mean it? Grandpa cannot tell a lie. That sounds fun. Maybe grandma nina, daddy, your sister, and i could all join in and make it a family day. Well, that’s a wonderful idea. High five. Yeah! Alright. Are you ready, james, for a jet-setting lifestyle? This is going to be very special for all of us. Inez, let me ask you, you’re using head and shoulders, right? Only when I see flakes. Then I switch back to my regular shampoo. You should use it every wash, otherwise the flakes will come back. Tiny troy: He’s right, you know. Is that tiny troy? The ingredients in head and shoulders keep the microbes that cause flakes at bay. Microbes, really? They’re always on your scalp… little rascals… but good news, there’s no itchiness, dryness or flakes down here! I love tiny troy. And his tiny gorgeous hair. He’s the best. – Make every wash count!
– Little help please. (Vo) it’s another ultimate endless shrimp flavor drop with new tequila lime shrimp one of seven endless choices right now, only at red lobster you mean it, mr. Corinthos? You’ll actually take us up in the plane? Sure. Call me sonny. The real question is, where are we gonna go? We can go anywhere, sonny? W-within reason. New york to see the yankees!
[ Laughter ] No. How about the biodome in montreal? It’s like the rainforest and antarctica all in the same place. Really? And there are monkeys and turtles that have been alive for over a hundred years. Whoa. I don’t know, wiley. That sounds too cool to pass up. Nina, are you still going to paris for work or can you come with us? I-I, um… I took care of my paris business without actually having to go to paris. But the weekend, it’s still really — you know, I’m really busy. I have a — a big deadline. Nina, you can spare a day. I would love to, sonny, but… …I really can’T. Grandma nina, please? Hey, wiley, we have to respect her decision, okay? Sonny: You know what? We’ll do something with grandma nina some other time. Why don’t you guys all go? I will work. Have a great time without me. And make sure that you take a lot of video for me, okay? Mommy, you’re here. Hey, there, pumpkin. You miss me? Yes. Because we need you on our team. You’re the best at cornhole. The only one better is daddy. The sweet sound of silence. I never thought I’d be so happy to escape a party. It was a zoo! And it was loud and crowded and… obnoxious. Yeah! And way too many dudes trying to hit on you. Well, kudos for you. You were this close to throwing some punches at someone, weren’t you? Mm-hmm. Well, good for you. Gold star. Well, I really appreciate the gold star, but I think that I deserve a little bit of extra credit on this one. Extra credit? Yeah. Well, here’s your bonus. I hope you won’t be too disappointed if no trick-or-treaters show up. Well, you never know. Pays to be prepared. A horde of sugar-crazed children might show up at your doorstep like a zombie apocalypse.
[ Laughing ] I suppose it could happen, but honestly, even if it doesn’t, I am really glad that you brought all this candy. Because given the state of my finances, after gladys raided my bank account, it might be the only food in the house for a while. Yeah, I still can’t believe she did that to you. Talk about a witch.
[ Sighs ] Yeah. Look, I’m sorry I brought that up. I’ll be fine, I promise. I just need to find myself some work.
[ Knock on door ] Ha ha ha. What did I tell you? Come on.
[ Sasha gasps ] Maxie. It looks like I caught you in the middle of something. Oh, yeah. Gosh, all of this was — was in storage. It’s just notebooks and documents from all my early years at the wsb.
[ Cellphone ringing ] Oh, it’s valentin. Oh, don’t keep him hanging. I’ll make us more tea. Okay. Okay. Happy halloween. Happy halloween to you, too, darling. It’s good to hear your voice. It’s always good to hear you. How’s the apartment? I’m sorry I couldn’t get away to help you settle in. That’s okay. You had all those burnt pumpkin bars to take care of. How’s charlotte now? Is she okay? She’s better. Thank you.
Good. Robert helped me earlier, and felicia is here with me now, actually. Well, that’s great. Good. How are you? I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’m always armed. Okay? So you shouldn’t worry about me. I like worrying about you. Well… what are you doing? Well, at the moment, I am bracing myself to take four teenagers trick-or-treating. Sounds scary. I think this may be the most dangerous mission of my life.
[ Laughs ] When migraine strikes you’re faced with a choice. Ride it out with the tradeoffs of treat you’re not texting esme to check on ace, are you? No, no, quite the opposite. I’m trying to connect to the gallery speaker because I’d like to dance with you. Oh, really? Well, in that case, allow me. You should have seen your face when the cops showed up. How could you have? You were too busy yelling, “dex, drive around the block! Drive around the block!” Well, I didn’t want to miss the action. And I was looking for spencer and trina. Oh, is that why you were recording on your phone? It was funny watching all the frat guys scurry about when the lights came on. You’re telling me that wasn’t funny? You’re back. Yeah. The party was… well, I don’t know. It could have been legendary, but the second we showed up, the cops did, so… opted for food instead. Happy halloween. You should steer clear of xavier hall. It is not a pretty scene right now. Appreciate the heads-up. Bye. Sasha, I was thrilled to get your text, and knowing that you’re staying in town is such a relief. I mean, we could have made it work if you left town, but you being based here, it really helps us launch the new campaign. New campaign? Yeah. With the lawsuit officially behind us, we can relaunch the deceptor and unveil our new line with you as the face of deception. Me? The face? Wait. After all the bad pr? Well, okay. Full transparency. We toyed with the idea of bringing in a new face, but tracy, of all people, insisted it remain you, and I’m really glad she did. Tracy quartermaine? Yeah. She is now the majority shareholder of deception. Color me impressed. Maybe she’s not so ruthless after all. I wouldn’t go that far. At least she made the right choice. Ditto on that. So, sasha, the ball’s in your court. Do you still want to be the face of deception? Yes, yes, I — thank you, maxie. You have no idea how much this means to me. Yay! Oh, my gosh. Welcome back to the fold, as crazy as it’s gonna be. Care to celebrate with some candy? As delicious as that sounds, I have to go back to kelly’s and get james. Carly is throwing a halloween party for the little ones. So happy halloween. Happy halloween! My gosh, sasha, I’m so excited! This is gonna be a great new chapter for all of us. Ready to lose? Only in your dreams. Okay. Alright, let’s focus, captains. You still have to finish picking teams. Alright, avery, you have two more. Aiden. Whoa! I’m switzerland here. Strictly an impartial observer. Okay, then, sam! Yes. Um, mama carly. Yes. Yes, yes. Yay! Then we get mommy and grandma nina!
[ Cheering ] Okay, I say that we go with nose goes. It means the first team to touch their noses gets first play. Alright. Ready…set… alright. Go. Yeah. No. Willow was last. -Willow. -Mommy! I’m sorry, champ.
[ Cheering ] Great shot, nina! Grandma nina! So if there’s a clue in here at all that can lead me to who it is that’s targeting me — you know that I believe it’s someone from inside the wsb or an agent from back in the day. Just a breadcrumb in amongst all this chaos that could just trigger a memory or something. A name — that would be perfect. I’d be really lucky if I found a name. Yeah. Well, I could help you sift through all of this stuff tomorrow, if you like. I don’t have to be at the hospital until mid-afternoon. No, I have to do it myself. Just has to be me and a strong cup of tea. Thanks to you. Okay, but you promise that you’ll call me if anything unexpected comes up. And for heaven’s sake, stay vigilant. You don’t have to worry about me. Alright? Okay. I should go. I promised maxie I would pick up james at carly’s halloween bash. Oh, okay. That’s sweet. Here you go. -Thank you. Hey, thank you so much for coming around. And thank you for my gift. I love it. Anna, take care. I will. Okay. Okay. Bye. Where’s charlotte? She had some last-minute issue with her costume. Charlotte! Come on, let’s go! We’re running out of time for trick-or-treating. Oh, I can — I can go see what’s up. Well, I didn’t expect that! What’s the matter? Don’t you like it? No. It’s great. Listen, let’s get going. I’ll bring the car around. What’s with the backpack? We’re not gonna get that much candy. I know. I’m just bringing a sweater. It could get chilly out there. I-I thought you were gonna be the hermit figure from your tarot-card deck. I changed my mind. My mom but it did change her. She developed agitation thank you.
[ Laughing ] Thank you for the epic party, ms. Spencer. Thank you for helping the girls decorate cookies. You mean desecrate cookies? Not once you started to show them how to do it. I think avery is a big fan. Oh. Hi, mom. Hello. Mom, mom! Guess what? Wiley’s grandpa has a jet, and he’s going to take us to antarctica. Antarctica? Really? Well, not exactly — the montreal biodome. That’s almost cooler. Good one, mom. “Cooler.” This was excellent, carly. The kids had so much fun. Oh, good. I’m so happy everyone could get together. Thank you for the cookies, carly. May I also take some extra candy? You sure can. You normally don’t like so many sweets. I want to save it for when daddy comes home. He loves chocolate. Aiden, are you ready? Mm-hmm. Okay. Thanks again. Bye. Say good night to your mom, girls. Yeah, but you’re gonna need these for a sleepover.
[ Nina laughs ] Good night, mama carly. Oh, good night. Good night, mommy. Good night to my sweetest girls. This was the best day. And not too scary. No. Alright. You ready, sleepyhead? Go say good night to your grandmother, okay? I need a kiss. Oh, you got it. Mwah! Oh, good night, my little man. Good night, grandma nina. It’s not your fault we lost. You made the best toss. Oh. Good night. Good night, sweet boy. Wiley sure loves his grandma nina. Yeah. So the face of deception rides again, huh? It would seem so. Well, don’t look so happy. Chin up. The tides are turning. I know, but why on earth would tracy quartermaine stick with me after all the tabloid scandals? Uh…could it be — and I’m just spitballing here — but that she thinks you’re talented and the best woman for the job? Cody, I appreciate your faith in me, but…
[ Knock on door ] Okay. Alright, this is it. Go time.
Oh, I see the whole of your hand in mine
and it’s all I need to carry on
and wipe away
the tears of the day
and lie awake okay, this costume is cute, but I feel like I’m wearing a straight jacket. Oh, I have got just the cure for that. Oh, please help me, doctor. Stupid. Okay, let’s do some reports now. Wait a minute.
[ Gasps ] Oh, my god, that’s it. That is it. Hey, guys. Chariot awaits. Trick-or-treating ends at 9:00 P.M., Even if you only get 20 minutes on the trail. Let’s go. Let’s go. Charlotte, lock the door, please! Charlotte. What’s that for? This is the key to me getting everything I want.
On the next “General Hospital” —