General Hospital Transcript
Transcript provided by Suzanne
THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!
729. Okay? 28 times 38.
Lois: 1,064. 39 Times 39.
15,000 divided by 11.
[ Gasps ] Oh, we’re switching it up, aren’t we? Oh, okay. Um, 1,363.63636. Ha ha ha. It’s a very good number, I might add.
Wow. You’re good.
Oh, it looks like this is where the fun is. What are we playing, einstein?
It’s a math-off.
Oh, that’s my cue to exit. Carry on.
Huh. [ Clicking tongue ] Okay. 7,000 divided by 3.
Easy. 2,333.3333. Also a beautiful number.
I thought you would like it.
You two still at it?
Both: It’s infinite fun.
Tracy: Oh, the wanderer is back. Shouldn’t you be out hustling for some new musical protégé?
I didn’t realize I had to clear my visits. What’s it to you?
Everything that happens in this house is something to me.
[ Door opens ]
Carly: Sorry. We’re closed.
Lucy: Mm! Hi, there! I am so, so very glad you could make it because I have some mega exciting news.
Wow, lucy, you said it was important, so here I am.
Okay. It’s important. I mean, it’s very, very important as in…
[ Laughs ] As in what? Now, come on. Don’t keep me in suspense.
Okay. As in, ava jerome, this is your golden ticket. This is your chance to unload wicked wyndemere and spooky spoon island, but we have to act fast before the prospective buyer changes their mind.
Come on, robert, this is a textbook example of a misunderstanding. So why don’t we just cut to the chase and drop the charges?
In your dreams, baldwin. We have some very interesting footage, which I’m sure the jury are gonna just love.
What footage? Nothing’s been entered into evidence.
Early days. You should tell your client to cease with the intimidation tactics. We’ve got a lot of leeway on sentencing in this case. Now, get out, please.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I’m not going anywhere until I see this alleged footage.
The only footage you’re gonna see is me throwing you out of my office when it goes viral.
Oh, wait a minute. Hold your horses here. Is the district attorney threatening me?
[ Door opens ]
Gentlemen, if I may, might be a good time to beat a tactical retreat, counselor. You seem to have worn out your welcome.
What an understatement.
Take the hint, scotty. Anything you’re hoping to accomplish here just ain’t gonna happen.
Well, well, well, lady justice herself coming to the rescue of crocodile dundee. Now, there’s a first.
Hi. Come in.
Thank you. Wow. Gone all out on the whole “spirit of the season” thing.
Well, it’s my first halloween with charlotte in a while. I figured I should make some effort.
Yeah. Something smells really good.
Yeah, that would be charlotte. She’s inspired in her new kitchen. That and a newfound rivalry with jake weber’s little brother has lit a competitive fire.
Oh. I’m sure she’ll accomplish whatever she sets her mind to.
You’re just in time. Do you want to be my guinea pig?
Okay? With all due respect, counselor, you’ve made your argument, the D.A. Is not having it. Time to exit stage left. What she said. Ahh, I know when I’m being double-teamed, but my wallet is already fat. All you’re doing is wasting the taxpayers’ money. Since when did you ever care about anyone but yourself? Nehh.
[ Laughs ] Why do you let him get to you? History. Besides, you give him an inch, he’s gonna take a mile and a quarter anyway. Only in days that end in a “Y.” Cheers. Thank you for being my noble wingman. Anytime. So, to what do I owe the pleasure? I am making pumpkin bars. The first batch just came out of the oven. Sounds really good. I didn’t realize you were a baker. Oh, I’m not, but aiden, jake’s brother, sure is. Jake always brings his amazing creations to school, so I thought I’d try it before my friends come over. You guys having a party? Not really. We’re all meeting here before going trick-or-treating. Papa is gonna drive us and then drop us off so no one from school sees us with a chaperon. Right. I see what you did there. That’s good consideration. I’m thinking I should maybe go and buy myself some candy, just in case there’s any trick-or-treaters at my door. At the hotel? Oh, no. That’s why I’m here. I’m no longer staying at the metro court. I’m taking over maxie’s flat. Georgie’s old apartment? You’re kidding. When did this happen? Happened this morning. It’s felicia’s idea. And then when I went and had a look, it just… it just seemed right, you know? Papa, isn’t this great? Oh. Congratulations, anna. I’m so glad you have a place of your own. Thanks. There’s the granny I know. Godmother of the quartermaine clan. To what do we owe the honor of this visit? I just came to see leo’s costume. Oh, what’s he gonna be? Albert einstein. Good choice. He’s the smart one in this house. Is that a general dig or meant just for me? Look, mother told me about your gift of deception. I gather I’d be stupid to pass it up. You could do worse. I don’t want it. Why not? You seem to be happy there. Oh, so you noticed. Me surrounded by my best friends, working on a project we loved until you poisoned it by blackmailing me to betray them. But you’ll be the boss, giving them incentive to mend fences. Problem solved. Friends again. Wow. You really know nothing about friendship. Maybe not, but I know about family and loyalty… and the sacrifices we make to take care of one another. Is math class over? Shh! Solved it! Aah! God. Drats! Congratulations, kid.
[ Sighs ] Mm. See, I knew money was in math!
[ Laughs ] Oh, man, that one. He’s a wonder, I’m telling you. He rattled off the heights of all of the tallest buildings all over the world. And I hate to tell you, and I’m very sorry, but you’re gonna have to take him to play the banjo at the top of the burj khalifa. I thought knowing the length of the brooklyn bridge was impressive. You okay? Lucy, you are a miracle. Wyndemere and spoon island, they have their charms, but they’re hardly the maldives, you know. And people with the means to buy a private island typically are drawn to warmer climates. So how in the world did you find somebody interested? Well, you don’t have to act so shocked, because I have kept my finger on the pulse of the high-end real-estate market. So I just picked up the phone, you know, put the word out. And given my track record, the referrals started rolling in. I just had to pick the most promising one. Huh. Well, so who is it? Who wants to buy spoon island? Cyrus: I like what you’ve done to the place. And this decor really captures the holiday season. Get out.
[ Laughs ] Carly, don’t be so inhospitable. This is my place, and you’re not welcome here. I just thought with our history, you’d at least hear me out. What do you want? A job. Are you serious? I have experience as a cook. From the prison kitchen detail? I mean, that’s not what we do here. Touché. Many incarcerated do learn valuable skills in prison. However, I’ve been cooking since my youth when I had to fend for myself. I was living out of my car… yeah, okay, look. That’s touching. If you have to impress your parole officer by getting a job, you’re barking up the wrong tree because you will not be working here. I never expected you to be someone who would discriminate against ex-cons. I mean, your beau, drew, will be one eventually. Half the people I care about have rap sheets. So you being an ex-con is not why you’re not gonna be working here. It’s because I know what you are. You’re a monster. When you’re ready to begin tre I don’t need a caretaker, tracy. Especially not one with your manipulative tactics. Yeah, I loved working at deception, but it’s not my passion! Passion doesn’t pay the bills, and the ups and downs of the music business — mostly downs — will not support you in the style to which you have become accustomed. I can make sacrifices if I had to. Ha! Been there, done that. Thought I could subsist on the great love I had for a pauper. Didn’t end well. I’m not you, and money’s not everything. No, but it’s far from irrelevant. And you would be foolish to think otherwise. I’m fine. Sure about that? Because it looks like you’ve seen a ghost. We were married, right? Yes, we were. Was that at the brooklyn bridge? No, it was at saint ignatius. But after the wedding, we went to the top of one of the towers of the brooklyn bridge. I…I have to go. Huh. Where’s eddie going? I have no idea. Double or nothing? Oh-ho! You’re on, kid. Watch out. They’re hot. I don’t want you to get burned. Mmm. That’s delicious. Really good. Not too sweet. Nice texture. I’m so glad. Those really are good. Thank you. That’s delicious, actually. I think aiden’s gonna be impressed. Well, that’s the plan. There’s another batch in the oven. They could be a housewarming gift for your new place. Thank you. Yeah. Your new place that I had no idea was even on the horizon. I know. It all came about because I needed a caffeine transfusion. Uh, because I needed some coffee and I met with felicia at kelly’s, and she said that maxie was subletting her apartment because she and the kids are moving in to a new house.
[ Smoke alarm beeping ] Wait, what is that? It’s a smoke alarm. Charlotte! Oh. Papa, the oven’s on fire. Oh. Oh. Let us deal with it. Don’t worry, darling.
[ Beeping continues ] I have a pair of tickets to a fundraiser for a cause near and dear to my heart — animal advocacy. And I was toying with the idea of asking you, but ever since that last time, I just don’t — say no more. I am in. Oh. So where? When? Wh-what’s the dress? Oh. Cocktail attire? May– tux? Maybe a tux.
[ Stammering ] Oh, yeah. A holding company? That’s the impressive buyer that you “selected”? Just a faceless llc?
[ Clears throat ] Well, that’s how it’s done these days. Important buyers use holding companies. And did you verify this company’s financials? Because just because they made the offer of the $25 million asking price doesn’t mean they have the cash to back it up. Right. Well, I am in the final stages of verifying all their assets. Okay. You know what? If they don’t put the whole amount in an escrow account, there’s no deal. Okay. Do you understand we could lose this sale? Because putting the whole amount in escrow is not standard practice. I’m not gonna get myself mired in some drawn-out real-estate mess. Okay. What you need to understand is sellers of private islands in upstate new york, they can’t really be too picky. Hmm. But I’m not just any seller. And I can afford to wait for the buyer who meets my exact terms. So, lucy, if you want your big, fat commission, you will get this buyer to put up the whole asking price or there’s no deal. Wait. Where are you going? Come on, come on. No, lucy. People and places.
[ Sighs ] I am loving the enthusiasm, robert. Yes, definitely a tie. In fact, black tie. Ahh! I kill a tux! I…[ Laughs ] I’ve seen you in a tux and, yes, yes, you do. Alright, I’m off. That’s enough for now. Wait, wait, wait. You’re gonna leave me in suspense? Suspense is the spice of life, robert. Details to follow. Oh. Tux. Oh, a tux. Tux. Ooh, ahh. Here we go. Freddy’s formals. 555… 0166. Yeah. Would this be freddy’s formals? Okay. What time do you close? I understand your position, carly. But you should know I’ve turned over a new leaf. I’m here to set your mind at ease. At ease? Yeah. I was there. I held the line while sonny was gone, and I protected our territory from you. Oh, that white dress you wore. I remember that very well. Remember this. I know who you are. You’re a predator and you’re dangerous, and those spots don’t change. So you can walk around town telling everyone that you found the lord, but I know better. You’re lying in wait and you are seeking out vulnerability. But that’s not going to happen here. So you can take your phony humility and your sob story and get the hell out, because kelly’s is off limits. You are every bit the fierce woman I remember. Oh, my god. That hasn’t changed. But I have. Ask drew. That cyrus you describe, he would have let drew die. But I saved him. Farewell, carly. We’re traveling all across america, talking to people about their hearts. Brook lynn, I didn’t do all this to sabotage your friendships. I worry about you. I never asked you to worry. You don’t have a choice. You have no stake in elq. And we have all seen firsthand what the music business did to your mother. Years of hard work and nothing to show for it. Excuse me. My mother has overseen four grammy-nominated albums and countless national and international tours. Oh, well, I’ll be sure to look all that up when I surf the net. Look, the point is… the truth is, I want you to have something real, something stable, something lasting. That’s deception. And, yes, maybe I let my disdain for lucy coe color my approach. You think? But everything I did was to secure your future. Look, I get it. In your own twisted tracy way, you think what you’re doing is best, but it’s not. Accepting your gift would be like declaring myself and my dreams a failure. It would rob me of any confidence I have, confidence I see in you. Something I am still trying to build. Do not sabotage me. Sabotaging you is the last thing I want.
[ Sighs ]
[ Mumbles ] Da, da, da, da, da, da.
[ Strumming guitar ]
uh, huh pause the timer. I’ll be right back. How could I be so stupid? Turning on the broiler. Don’t worry about it. It was just a minor kitchen disaster. It’s not like you burned the house down. At least the first batch of pumpkin bars turned out okay. Charlotte, valentin, please come in. Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, kevin. It’s my pleasure. Charlotte’s family. Full disclosure, this was actually my idea. Charlotte’s had a difficult year, and we’re kind of navigating it alone. It would be nice to have somebody she could tell everything to, so… alright. Great. I’ll just be waiting outside. Shall we have a seat?
[ Sighs ] So what do you think? You feel comfortable talking to me?
[ Knock on door ] Uh, if this is you, baldwin, I swear it’ll be manslaughter. Come in! Great. Hi. Hi, sweetie. What are you doing? Off to save the world? Uh, no. I’m off to find a tuxedo. Well, the last one finished up with a bullet hole in the lapel. Oh, it happens. I went back to the tailor in london, and I’m still waiting for a bit. What’s up? Well, I just sublet maxie’s apartment… mm-hmm. …And I’m — I’m wondering if you can help me move. Mm.
[ Chuckles ] Anna, everything you possess in the world went up in smoke. What exactly are we…moving? If you’re taking an antidepress
the siren of the sea
I know she’s out there beckoning me
and I wonder
who could she be? You still got it, eddie. Brook lynn, the confidence and poise and smarts you’ve developed, that’s all you. Nobody can take that away. I-I want to build you up. I don’t want to break you down. I’m sure you believe that. But in this family, nothing comes without strings. Even when we’re giving, we’re usually taking. We’re flawed. Most people are. Actually, it’s what keeps things interesting. Interesting is exhausting. I just want something mundane and predictable, a little peace and quiet in this house. That’s never gonna happen. Uh, hiya, lucy. Hey. So what’s so important that you had to drag me away from my important business? And…give me back my pen. What is so important about the pen? I don’t know where it is. It had bad mojo. I think I threw it in the bushes at the quartermaines. Maybe yuri has it. Who’s yuri? You know what? This is exactly why I bailed on the cutthroat real-estate business. Fussy sellers, slimy buyers. And they just want more and more. You know what? I try so hard to keep the peace. I try to broker the peace, but I can’T. All I want to do is end up with my cut. You know, lucy, you got to dial “r” for real-estate lawyer. If you want to dial me, then go to “t” because I’m a trial lawyer. I know that. That’s not what I want. Listen to me. Listen carefully. Look at me. Look at me. Please, pal. I need you to help me break that agreement I made with tracy.
[ Sighs ] Mama carly!
[ Gasps ] Oh, my goodness, look at you. We’re a little bit ahead of schedule. I hope that’s okay. Oh, it’s perfect, it’s perfect. Let me see your costume. This is amazing. Spin. Oh. It’s great. Hey, do you want to be the first to decorate a pumpkin cookie? Yes, please. Come on, come on, let me show you. Look, we have all of these. This is, like, frosting. You can decorate with sprinkles here, and you can take the plastic off here since you’re the first one. Go for it. Okay? She seems to be doing great. Yeah. Yeah. She’s okay. She’s very excited about this party. She didn’t even mention trick-or-treating. That’s good. Yeah, yeah, it’ll ease my mind knowing that she’s here and, uh, well out of harm’s way.
[ Robert sighs ] This… this… put it down now. Oi. …Was not what I was expecting. I know. It’s heavier than I thought. Robin was holding on to it for me. Yes. It got stuck in her storage somehow when she moved. And I’ve been meaning to go through it for years. What’s in it? Relics, really. Leftovers from a life I’d rather not dig up. It’s just personal paperwork from my early years at the wsb — there’s files and journals and even draft mission reports. What I’m hoping is maybe there’s a clue in there that could help me find who it is that’s targeting me at the wsb. So… what are you looking for? Key. I know. It’s typical. I think I’ve lost the key to this apartment. Charlotte, I want to assure you that our conversations are confidential. Whatever we talk about in here is privileged information. Anything? Mm-hmm. Does that mean you won’t tell papa what we talk about? Well, I might give him my general findings. For instance, if I think you’re under significant stress or you need additional support, I might tell him that. But the details of what we discuss in here, that stays in this room. And I meant what I said. You’re family. My only goal is to help you. And if you’re uneasy about it, it’s fine. I can always recommend someone else. No, no, I’ll talk to you. It’s okay. But it’s not like there’s a big secret or anything. Papa’s just overthinking things. I did miss him while I was away, but… nothing terrible happened at boarding school. Well, why don’t we start there? Tell me about your experience at boarding school. ( )Scared of a little nina and sonny are bringing donna, you said? Yes. They’re gonna take avery home with them. Both girls are gonna be spending the night. Nice. You know, it’s too bad, really. Wyndemere would have made the perfect backdrop for a halloween party. Just the right amount of spooky. Oh, it really would. I mean, once they’re old enough to not have nightmares, maybe when they’re, like, 13 or 10. Oh. [ Laughs ] No, no. I’m hoping that wyndemere will be someone else’s problem long before then. Lucy, there’s no such thing as an undo button when it comes to signed contracts. I know, I know, I just can’t take it. I really cannot take tracy having 51% of deception and she is sabotaging my creative vision. I have to do something. I want to get her out. I got to get her out. Well, what are you gonna do about that? Me? You’re the smarty-pants lawyer. You have all the legal expertise. There has to be something like — wait a minute. What about a loophole? Some sort of loophole that we didn’t see or the font. You know what? I bet that contract was not written in the right kind of font. Or what about this? There was none of that blue paper. You know, that stuff on the back of the pages that’s supposed to be there? Lucy. Lucy. Come on, man, you got to get into 20th century. All of that went out with electronic signing. And if — and it’s a big if — what if you could nullify the contract, tracy would just reinstate the lawsuit and deception would go down as fast as the titanic did!
[ Sighs ] Over my dead body. I’m so sorry. I just don’t know what happened to the key. I must have dropped it in the chaos of moving. Happens to the best of us. Make sure to return that after you get a copy. Oh, I will. Thank you so much. Thank you. Need help with that? Yes. No. We’re good. Thank you though. I really appreciate it. Yeah. Okay. Bye. Okay. Great. Shall we? Oh. Of course.
[ Grunts ] There you go. Can you go in? This is heavy. Okay. Can you go straight back? Yeah, yeah. Alright. So I made pumpkin bars for my friends. Hey, you two. How was your chat? Oh, she was just telling me her trick-or-treating plans for this evening. Papa’s the chauffeur. Well, have a wonderful time. And I’d like to continue this next week, if that’s alright. How do you feel about that, ma petite? Works for me. You’re easy to talk to. We’ll sort out the details later. Sounds good. Happy halloween. Bye, kevin. Shingles. Some describe it as an inteplay the rest for me. No can do. Yeah, it’s — that’s all she wrote. Oh. Come on. You and me, we go way back. There’s no need for stage fright. Lois, seriously, it’s a work in progress, and literally, it’s only half baked. Oh, you’re in the zone. Yeah. Okay. I don’t want to mess with your mojo. No, no, no mojo. Just a creative dead end. Oh. Well, you got something there, so don’t trash it. Easier said than done. Listen. The same fire that got you there will also see you through. Okay? Trust me. Leo: Aunt lolo, time’s ticking! Oh, I forgot. Sudoku showdown. Got to go. Fine. I’ll back off. No more pressure from me. I appreciate that. But will you think about my offer? Thanks, but no thanks. I’m on a new course. One you inadvertently helped to set, and I really want to make a go of it. And I have a new musical protégé. I signed a rising star named blaze. Heard of her. You have? Yeah. And I have every confidence that you are gonna make her a household name. Well, I’m gonna do my best. Of that, I’m sure. You know, lucy, tracy’s always had the upper financial hand. That’s why you agreed to the deal in the first place. I know. I’m very well aware. I know. Well, now, so she can just ride it out until deception is bankrupt. No, I can’t let that happen, not for maxie and for sasha. You know, though, I am quite the dynamo at real estate, I could always pivot back to that. Like a rat! No, no. Sinking ship. Oh, no! No rats, no sinking ship. I would never do that to them. I mean, maxie needs deception for her future. And that ridiculous gladys almost took everything sasha has. Well, why don’t you just become a silent partner? There’s no way I’m gonna be a silent partner. What? And I’m gonna let tracy run my company? I don’t think so. I won’t let that happen. With the last breath in my body, I will not let that… happen. What? You’re gonna poison her muffin? You’re better off poisoning her cognac. I know, but as tempting as it is to poison her, I think I just got it. I’ve got it. Okay, think about it. I do not need to claw 51% back. Do I? No, if I can wiggle just a teeny tiny 2% out of tracy’s greedy hands, then I am the major shareholder again, and deception is mine. All mine. Mommy, can I have your phone so that I can take a picture of my cookie? Yes. Yeah. Of course. Here you go. Thank you.
[ Laughs ] Isn’t it lovely how kids can find joy in the simplest things? And we adults are.. burdened by adult things. Adult things? Like selling wyndemere? Yeah. Yeah, like selling wyndemere. You know, I have to move on, and I can’t do that if I’m anchored to that place and after what happened with austin’s cousin mason, I am determined to sell. I wonder what kind of buyer you can get for that place. I have no idea, but lucy assures me that she’s found one. Really? Who? Mm. That’s vague. But if lucy can get confirmation that the buyer has all the money, then wyndemere and its torturous memories will be in my past. Okay. Whoa.
[ Exhales sharply ] Someone’s a bit of a packrat. You never know what tidbit of information could come in handy down the line. And to think, in this day and age, all that fits on a thumb drive. And could be hacked into in a heartbeat. You realize that this stash is completely off the grid, and no one has any idea that this information even exists. Are you sure about that? Subject — charlotte cassadine. Session one. Charlotte displays a maturity that belies her years. She is both insightful and evasive. She has already mastered the art of camouflage, presenting only what she believes people want to see and hear. Ugh, it still stinks in here. I don’t want my friends smelling burnt pumpkin bars. Don’t worry, I’ll open the windows in the kitchen. I’ll air the place out. Listen, thanks for meeting with kevin today. I know that wasn’t your first choice, and I appreciate it. A deal’s a deal, papa. I kept my side of the bargain because I know you’ll keep yours. I love you… a lot. Papa? What? Papa…I’m sorry. What are you sorry for? For… …burning the pumpkin bars. You worry too much. Charlotte: “Anna devane is not who she seems. Do not trust her.” Kevin: She is anchored to her father — a relationship that seems almost…symbiotic. He is very protective of her, and in return, she feels a great responsibility to protect him.
On the next “General Hospital” —