Days Transcript Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Days of Our Lives Transcript

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Transcript provided by Suzanne

THIS STILL NEEDS EXTENSIVE EDITING!

Honestly, I can’t even believe the house is still standing. Yeah, everyone’s OK. That’s– that’s the most important thing. Yeah, and tell Gabi that I hope she feels better soon. Thank you. I love you, too, Dad.

[phone beeps]

How’s he doing?

Amazingly, my dad wasn’t hurt. Gabi did sustain a few minor injuries, but she’s gonna be OK.

Well, thank God for that. And that Connie lady, she deserves to be in a straightjacket in a padded room.

Definitely. Fortunately, the damage to this room was minimal.

Well, on the surface, yeah. But are we really OK to be, like, standing here?

I mean, the fire chief said they did a thorough inspection and that the house is habitable. But–

But what?

Well, we might have to do some restocking of the wine cellar. Unfortunately, my dad’s vintage Chateau Margaux was lost.

Yeah, well, I would be happy to help with that, but you know, I am more of a $ to $ bottle of wine type of gal.

You know, I beg to differ. You see, do you remember that restaurant we ate at in Italy? La Pergola I think it was called.

Mm-hmm. On the night that we got married the first time?

Yes. And if you recall the number on the check that the waiter dropped due to those very expensive bottles of wine that you ordered?

OK, yeah, well, that was a special occasion.

Every occasion is special with you.

[tender music]

Well, I am just so happy that we do not have to move out. Because this girl right here, she can use some rest, especially since tomorrow I am shooting my first scenes with Alex.

Isn’t this exciting?

[laughs] Here we are, mother and stepson, and we’re shooting on the same show, and you’re playing my son.

Yeah.

I mean, come on. We’re like one of those old Hollywood families, like the Barrymores, or the Fondas, or the whatevers.

[laughs]

Hm.

And, you know, it’s kind of funny. You are in my fake life playing my real son and in my real life playing my fake son.

Fake son?

Oh, no, no, no. That’s a bad choice of words. Well, though, you’re not really my real son, though. Come on, stop it. You know what I mean.

I do. I do. And I admit it’s a little strange that you’re playing my mom, for sure.

Right.

Let’s just hope that life doesn’t imitate art and your house falls through a sinkhole like the Lovegood mansion did in “Body & Soul.”

[chuckles] Sinkhole, shminkhole, it’s all drama, baby.

Yeah.

And since, actually, we’re gonna be working so hard on bringing these characters to life, I certainly hope your father is negotiating your contract, too.

Too?

Oh, yeah.

He’s negotiating yours?

Well, of course, he is. You know, the studio, AKA Kate Brady, was trying to lowball me, but my wonderful Justin is making sure that I get every penny I’m worth.

[relaxed music]

Well?

One moment, please.

Of course. So just to summarize, Bonnie is simply asking for an additional one week vacation and to increase her rate to % over scale, which I think is a very reasonable counterproposal given her talent, her work ethic, and most importantly, her breadth of life experience.

[soft dramatic music]

So do we have a deal?

Who is it? – It’s Abe Carver.

Ah. Abe!

Well, hello, Stephanie. Is this a bad time?

Not at all. Come in.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Yes. I was just working on the “Body & Soul” press release, announcing our first day of shooting tomorrow. Would you like to see the first draft?

Oh, no, I’m sure it’s perfectly fine. You know, I came by because I wanted to talk about something else, something that has to be done tonight.

Yes. Yes. Perfect. God, I love these characters. They are complex, intelligent, wise beyond their years, witty and urbane, all thanks to me, and most importantly, their love transcends all of the mishegoss that is trying to tear them apart. Mishegoss? No, that’s too New York. Producers won’t get it. Their love transcends all of the obstacles that are conspiring to keep them apart. Eat your heart out, Willy Shakes. You may have coined the term star-crossed lovers for those forlorn teenyboppers Romeo and Juliet, but I have taken that tired concept to a whole new level for Arrow and Faith.

[sighs]

[knocking] No, no, no. Not while I’m in a flow state. Oh.

Hattie?

Yes, yes, yes.

Shouldn’t you be, like, learning your lines?

Yes, I was home, and I was reading all these shows, and then it occurred to me that I needed to come over and talk to you.

What’s wrong? Is there a problem?

Problem? There’s a problem, yes. Leo, all of these scripts have to be rewritten, completely rewritten.

[soft orchestration] announcer: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the “Days of Our Lives.”

I beg your pardon. You need me to do what?

Look, I read all these scripts, and so what I did was I went ahead and I put frowny faces on the ones that I didn’t like at all, and then I put smiley faces on the ones that I liked, you know, kind of a little bit. And then I got to thinking, oh, my gosh, how am I gonna memorize these things?

OK.

So, well, then I thought, why worry about that because they’ll all be rewritten, anyway. I won’t have to memorize these particular shows.

OK, OK, and what, pray tell, is wrong with your scenes?

Well, you know, it’s– It’s about Kassandra and Charlemagne. Because Kassandra has way too much of the storyline going on.

Uh-huh, so?

So– so? Charlemagne is the star of the show, you see? So it doesn’t work. Charlemagne may needs to have most of the dialogue because she is, you know, after all, the star. The audience understands that. And if you don’t get that right, they will turn on you. They will really turn on you. In fact, what will happen is the audience will– will turn off the television, and they’ll go to the movies, or they will leave the television on, but they will change the channel, or they’ll turn the television off, and they– they’ll read a book.

OK, OK, OK. I get what you’re saying. So you want me to rewrite all these scripts so that you have more dialogue?

Exactly. And– and you can thank me for doing a favor for you. Because in addition to improving the show enormously, you’ll be putting Bonnie in her place.

I’m sensing a rivalry here a la Joan Crawford and Bette Davis.

Yes, a rivalry. Ever since my close personal friend became a super diva.

[soft dramatic music]

Hmm.

So my dad is negotiating to get you a better deal, huh?

Heck, yeah. My husband is a crackerjack lawyer, let me tell you. In fact, I am guaranteeing he gets me % over scale, an extra week of vacay pay and an early out every other Friday. Uh-huh.

Now, Bon– Bonnie, have you ever heard of the phrase “you can’t get blood from a stone”?

Well, of course. What’s that got to do with my contract?

Everything. You see, this show is on a very tight budget, from what I hear.

Well, honey, this is a big production. You know, it’s “Body & Soul.” That is a household name, a brand. They got plenty of money to spread around. In fact, so much so, Kate Brady, she’s gonna fold like a cheap lawn chair.

[chuckles]

Mark my words.

I think we have a deal.

Fantastic. OK, so just put your John Hancock right there.

And the deal is you tell Bonnie she either accepts the original terms of the deal or “Body & Soul” is more than happy to find a new Kassandra.

[dramatic music]

So what’s so important that it has to be done tonight?

Well, you suggested that we have a photo shoot of the cast for the relaunch. You know, and then splash it across social media, magazines, et cetera, et cetera.

Right. Right, I did. But, um, I remember you telling me that we didn’t have enough money left in our budget for even a cappuccino. So we– we couldn’t afford to do it.

Well, that’s no longer the case.

Oh, did you find another investor?

I– I actually think this could be better. I happened to run into your cousin Eric today.

Eric? Well, I didn’t even know that he was in town.

Yeah, he’s back here to support Brady. But while I was mentioning the relaunch of “Body & Soul,” he very kindly offered to do the shoot pro bono.

Oh, you’re kidding, Abe. That’s great.

[laughs] Yes. So I have scheduled the shoot for tonight.

OK, then. Well, I should help wrangle the actors.

Wrangle. I think that might be the operative word.

Right. Since our show has no shortage of larger-than-life personalities.

[soft dramatic music]

OK. OK, how about this? In act , Charlemagne is talking to her ex-husband, and she says something like “Really, Kassandra? That shrew has the charm of a dead houseplant.” Huh?

Hmm.

What?

No. No. Too snarky. Charlemagne wouldn’t stoop to that.

OK. OK. Look, Hattie. I want you to be happy with your part. Truly, I do, but I can’t just be making changes willy nilly. There’s a chain of command, and all of these scripts have been approved by the producers. Any rewrites need to be submitted, and that really just slows everything down.

Why don’t you tell that to Bonnie? She’s the one who’s off the reservation with all these rewrites and rewrites and changes of hers.

Really? She’s been making changes? Nobody told me that. And why is anybody making changes? We haven’t even started shooting yet.

I know. I know. She’s just gone off the rails, and she’s writing like she’s Greta Gerwig or somebody.

OK. Look, Hattie. I am burning the midnight oil writing the next batch of scripts. I don’t have time to make any changes to anything that’s already been approved.

Look. This is the first week of our relaunch, so we have to get it right, you know? We’ve got to reel the audience in like a rainbow trout.

You mean our gay viewers?

No. I actually meant like the fish.

Oh. OK, look, I will see what I can do, but I’m not making any promises.

OK, tell me what you think about this, OK? OK.

[relaxed music]

Relationships, my dear, they’re not like some barefoot walk on the beach. They’re hard work, sometimes full of heartache, and your whole world could fall away, collapse suddenly without warning. Honey, I know about these things. Believe me. I do.

Wow. Bonnie, that was, like– that was, like, emotional.

Really?

That was really moving.

Oh, really?

Because I changed a little bit of that speech because it was a little boring.

Yeah, no, whatever. You’re a great actress.

[laughs] Oh, Alex. Thank you. Can you believe I have all my lines memorized already?

Good for you. I wish I could say the same thing about myself. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries because I’m really worried about just working alongside my co-star.

Chanel? Why?

Well, as you may know, we’re supposed to be playing this hot young couple, crazy in love, star-crossed, but in reality, there’s a little bit more than just tension between us.

So you really, uh, dread working with Alex, huh?

Yeah. You already know that, Johnny. I mean, after what happened with him and Allie, he is the last person on Earth that I want to spend eight hours a day with.

More like , actually.

Oh, God.

Look, what happened with Alex and Allie, that’s all in the past. And everything worked out for the better, right? I mean, Allie seems very happy in her new life, and, I don’t know, you seem happy, from what you tell me, anyway.

Well, of course, I am. OK? I am married to the sweetest…

Ooh.

Sexiest man on the planet.

Oh. And I am the luckiest guy on the planet because I get to be married to my sexy, talented wife. And besides, isn’t part of the reason you accepted this job so that you could spend every day with your, dare I say it, dashing director?

[laughs]

Hmm?

Yeah. Well, I guess if I am going to have to spend hours in the studio, then I am grateful that I get to spend them with you.

Hmm. And I get to spend those said hours not only in your presence but also telling you what to do.

Mm, which is the opposite of our marriage, huh?

[laughter]

[phone rumbles] Oh, I am vibrating.

Tell me about it.

No, I mean my phone.

[phone beeps]

Actually, you know what? Me too.

It is an…

Email from the studio.

Pink pages? What are pink pages?

Uh, they’re, like, last minute changes to the script. It looks like there’s some more pages added for tomorrow… for you and Alex.

[soft dramatic music]

Wait, what? Faith and Arrow have sex?

[sighs]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was under the impression that Faith and Arrow were star-crossed lovers, longing for one another while everything gets in the way. I mean, isn’t the whole point that they don’t have sex, at least not for a while?

Yeah, I don’t know. I mean, from what Abe and Kate told me, yeah, I mean, Faith and Arrow weren’t supposed to consummate their relationship for months.

Hey, well, now it is happening this week! And I just– ooh, I cannot believe that I have to have a love scene with Alex this week, like, right off the bat.

Yeah, well, I have to direct it.

So Chanel blames you for Allie and her breaking up and Allie moving out of town?

Right, and I mean, it’s not like she doesn’t have a slight reason to.

You and Allie, you, well, you know, a second time.

Yeah.

Was that after the threesome?

Hey?

What?

Can we use our inside voices when we’re talking about that, please?

Please, honey. Nobody’s listening.

Really? Nobody’s listening? This is Salem.

Fine. Shh. I’ll keep it down.

Thank you.

I’ve been, you know, thinking. If you want my advice– and you probably don’t, but you’re gonna get it anyway– you should channel that emotion into your performance, you know, the tension, with Chanel. See, I was reading in Uta Hagen’s “Respect for Acting,” she talks about using anger and nervousness and upset and really using it to spice up your performance.

All right, but, I mean, I don’t think Faith should really want to, you know, knee Arrow in the groin. She loves him.

But you can’t be together, right? I mean, you’re being kept apart by forces out of your control.

I guess so.

OK. There it is. There’s the tension. So every time we see Arrow, we should see him longing for Faith. We should see him thinking that, oh, if only the stars could align, we could ride off into the sunset together. But you can’t. So you, Alex, you as an actor, you got to dig. You know? You got to dig down deep, and you got to channel that heartbreak.

[relaxed music]

Wow, Bonnie. I got to tell you, you got, like, an innate sense for this whole acting thing.

[laughs] Well, no, credit where credit is due. During my audition, Johnny told me I shouldn’t hold back.

Huh.

He actually said that…

[clears throat] well, what I did to Adrian was actually a gold mine to use to play Kassandra.

Ah. So it worked?

Oh, yeah, it worked.

[laughs] And, you know, I don’t mean to brag or anything, but you– you said it yourself. Turns out I have talent.

[laughs] And Justin is gonna make sure Kate sees exactly that. And there he is, my agent, or my husband who’s acting as my agent. Mwah. Hello.

Hey.

So how did it go? Did you have Kate begging for mercy?

Not exactly.

Hey. Hello there.

Hey, did you talk to Stephanie?

I did. I did. And she’s ready to step in and organize the whole photo shoot.

That’s wonderful. Except there won’t be a photo shoot if Eric is a no show.

Oh, he texted me a while ago. He’s gonna gather his equipment. He should be here soon.

Ah, well, that’s wonderful. Another problem solved.

[chuckles] Well, what’s that?

You know, Justin was here earlier. He wanted to revise Bonnie’s contract. He said she was owed a sweetheart deal. And I made it perfectly clear, no sale.

[soft dramatic music]

Scale? You promised you’d get me a better deal.

I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know that’s what I promised you, but Kate was adamant that the original offer was final. So it was either accept the offer or walk. And I assume you don’t want to do that.

No, of course I don’t want to do that. Especially now I feel like Kassandra is part of me, you know? I mean, I couldn’t abandon her, not in good conscience. So I will take it in spite of it all because the show must go on. And I will play Kassandra Lovegood for all she’s worth.

Oh, good. You’re here.

What’s all that?

I think they’re known as pink pages.

Heck. What are all these changes? Charlemagne pushes Kassandra into her own birthday cake? Kassandra’s long-lost daughter tells her she wishes Charlemagne were her real mother? When Kassandra loses her job, Charlemagne hires her as her unpaid intern? Who made these changes?

Don’t look at me. I didn’t do it.

Who did?

Well, I mean, who always does that, you know? The head writer does. So if you’re having a problem with anything, you should– you should talk to Leo Stark.

Oh? Somebody say my name?

Oh.

[soft dramatic music] – I got to talk to Leo. I got to tell him that it is way too soon for Faith and Arrow to be sleeping together.

Yeah.

[phone beeps] What? What’s going on? More changes?

No, it’s a text from Stephanie. Apparently there’s a last minute photo shoot, and they need the entire cast of “Body & Soul.”

When?

Now.

All right. So I sent a group message to the cast, and almost everybody has replied that they’re on the way to the studio, and if we have any stragglers, then I will track them down. All we need now is–

Hello?

Eric.

I’m accounted for.

[laughter]

Hi.

I cannot tell you how much we appreciate you doing this shoot for us. I know you’re going to get exactly what we need to whet the viewer’s appetite.

And we only wish that we had enough money to pay you what you’re worth.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Don’t worry about it. I just– I’m just glad I’m able to help, you know? I just know how much “Body & Soul” means to you and to the audience and everybody in Salem who’s been working on it. Just remember me in your Emmy speech.

[laughter]

Well, I think you might be putting the cart before–

OK, of course, we will.

All right. Well, hey, all I need to do is set up. So from what I’ve heard, it seems pretty straightforward.

Yeah.

Leo, why would you do this? Why would you butcher the script just to make me look like a buffoon, a doormat?

Well, you know, technically, it’s not you, Bonnie. It’s Kassandra.

Oh, oh, look. It’s a text from the studio.

Wait, I got one, too.

Why didn’t I get one?

It’s only for on-air talent, something about a last-minute photo shoot.

A photo shoot. I’m so ready for my close up.

Me too.

Break a leg.

Oh, honey. I don’t think you say that for a photo shoot. Or do you?

Good luck, then.

Aw. No, either is fine. Mm. Love you.

Love you, too, Bonnie. Have fun.

Thank you. Hey, I’ll give you a ride, Alex. Hattie, you coming?

Sure. Yeah, I’ll come along.

Uh, not so fast.

What? What’s wrong?

What’s wrong? I did you a favor, several of them, actually, and you throw me under the bus?

Oh. Well, you know what they say. That’s showbiz, baby. Besides, it’s always the writer that takes the blame. Ha.

Damn it. Try and be helpful, and this is the thanks I get. Reminds me of that time I dated that gorgeous Chilean painter Emiliano with the neck that was slightly too long. So I go out and buy him several cashmere sweaters, and what do I get in return? Broken heart.

[knocking] Ugh. Hattie? – It’s Johnny.

Well, if it isn’t my favorite director.

May I?

Please.

Thank you.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

I was just reading those pink pages, the Faith and Arrow love scene.

Pretty steamy, huh? If only the network allowed just a teeny bit of nudity.

If only.

So here’s what I was thinking. We start on a close up of the two of them making out, and you slowly tilt down. Cue the royalty free jazz. Cut to the fireplace, et cetera, et cetera. But I don’t need to tell you how to do your job. I mean, even an amateur can make Alex Kiriakis look like he is en fuego, which means on fire, in case you’re not familiar with español. Am I right?

No, yeah. Sure. Look, I was just thinking maybe it’s a little too soon for them to be having sex, right?

When is it ever too soon to have sex? I mean, all of my favorite movies have wild sex scenes in the first six, seven minutes, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that they’re all French.

OK, look. I’m– I’m– I’m– speaking in terms of this story, all right, on this show. And if I may quote the late, great Agnes Nixon, you got to make them laugh, you got to make them cry, and most importantly, you have to make them wait.

Hmm. Who cares what some former first lady says? I mean, unless we’re talking about Jackie O. That woman had serious style.

Listen, Leo. I came here to ask you one question. Would you just– would you consider rewriting that scene?

What? It is an important, pivotal scene.

Leo, it’s too soon!

The answer is no.

I’m telling you, you need to build suspense.

No more rewrites! Huh.

All right. Looks like I got everyone checked in. So with any luck, we will get done with our principal shot tonight.

That would be great.

Ah, there they are, Hattie, Bonnie. OK, you two are up first. Wardrobe is right down the corridor.

Oh, great. Before we start, could I have a word?

About what?

Your head writer.

Leo. What about him?

He’s gone rogue. Have you seen all these pinks?

Oh, wait, wait. You know what, come on. She just said that we’re trying to get the show on the road, so come on, chop-chop. We got to move. We got to go.

Yep, yep. Let me take you to wardrobe.

OK.

Just come this way.

OK. It just– yeah.

All right. All right. All right.

Oh, Justin.

Hey, Abe.

[relaxed music]

I– I’m very sorry about the Bonnie contract situation. The thing is that Kate is, well, in charge of everything that goes into the budget, and she doesn’t allow any wiggle room.

It’s been a few years since you were on the force, right?

I guess you never forget how to do the good cop, bad cop thing.

[laughs] Well, I suppose that’s right.

[chuckles]

You know, we would like to– I’d give everyone a big raise if we had the money, and I believe that we should pay everyone their worth.

That’s very good of you, Abe.

If the show, or rather, when this show gets on the air, and it becomes a big hit…

[chuckles] Then we can revisit the Bonnie contract situation.

[gasps] Wow! You look amazing!

There’s our Kassandra. You look absolutely stunning.

Oh, stop. Actually, keep going.

[laughter]

You’re a knockout, Kassandra.

If you could just stand right over here, that’d be great.

OK, so you want me, like–

I just want you to be yourself. Be in character. Be Kassandra.

Ooh, that I can do.

Awesome!

[laughing]

You look great. You look fantastic. There. Oh, that’s great!

[laughs] You look fantastic. Keep it going. Look at you! Yes! Come on. Give it to me. Bonnie? Hey?

What?

[energetic music] What are you wearing?

What are you wearing?

Oh, this is ridiculous. We can’t wear the same dress. You got to go change.

What? No. No, no, no, no, no. I am not changing. I am Charlemagne Delacroix.

So what? I’m Kassandra Lovegood.

So what? I have never been pushed into a cake, I’ve never done an unpaid internship, and I certainly have never changed my attire for the likes of you.

Well, that’s where you’re wrong, sister, because you will not steal my thunder. Now, you take off that dress, or I will take it off for you!

Don’t you dare!

Watch me!

[grunts] Take off the dress!

So what kind of angle you think we can get here?

No, no, no!

Take it off!

Take it off.

You take it off!

No, you, you, you!

No!

I saw it first!

Well, what do you think?

Ah, you are a vision, my dear. This is the perfect dress for our ingenue.

Thank you. I’m just glad it was still on the rack. It looked like someone was rolling around in the clothes.

Mm-hmm, you don’t say.

Mm, Chanel, why don’t you come down over here?

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

All right. Just be natural.

[laughs] That’s great. Perfect.

Alex, are you ready?

Oh.

Well, well. It’s right this way.

Oh, I will just get out of your way.

No, no, no.

No? But aren’t I done with my shoot?

No. We still need you here. You two are our hot young couple. We need some pictures of you together.

[energetic music]

Do I or do I not order this Gloria Estefan pajama onesie?

[knocking] Ugh! Can I ever get a little me time? I already told you, Johnny. No more rewrites.

I don’t care what you told Johnny. I know Hattie put you up to these pinks!

No.

No?

No. I made those changes myself. I am the head writer, after all. I have the power. I am very important, highly respected, and the buck stops with me, Bonnie. I have the last word.

I’ll tell you what else stops with you, mister– the success of this show if you let that stuck-up Hattie Adams bully you into ruining my character. Because if you do, I quit.

What? You can’t do that.

Oh, really? Watch me. Unless…

Unless?

Unless you unpink these pages right now.

Oh.

[soft dramatic music]

All right, that’s good. Hey, Alex, look at Chanel. Look in her eyes.

[energetic music] All right, put your arm around her. Come on. There it is. That’s it. It looks great.

Did you get those pages? You know, where Faith and Arrow have sex?

Yes, I did.

Don’t you think it’s a little–

Rushed?

Yeah, rushed.

Yeah, I do, actually. And I was thinking about maybe asking Kate and Abe if maybe they can pull it back a little bit.

Hey, Chanel. Why don’t you look into Alex’s eyes for a minute? There it is. That’s it. It’s brilliant! Act like you want him to hold you closer. You want him to be there, turning you on. I see it.

I have to say, Alex, I’m a bit surprised.

Why? Why? You think I’d leap at the chance to pretend jump your bones?

No. Well, maybe.

OK, well, I may have been a player in real life, but–

May have been?

But this is acting. And whatever happens on the screen isn’t real. All that matters is that the audience thinks that it is.

Here we go.

I know what this needs. Alex, lose the jacket.

[sighs]

Hattie. Is everything all right?

No, everything is not all right. You have to fire that Bonnie Kiriakis because that woman can’t even act.

You want me to fire Bonnie?